Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Invalid Nikah – How do I end this relationship?

I was 17 when I ran away from home with my boyfriend.

I had a nikah with him done at his parents house whom agreed that it was the right thing to do as my parents wouldn't have agreed to the marriage as his family was not of good honourability. My family tried to gain contact with me but I refused out of guilt with what I did to them.

After about three months I began speaking to my mother again (my father refused to acknowledge me). My mother explained to me numerous times that what I did was wrong and I began to realise that my husband and his family are not good people - they have the lifestyle of kufars.

8 months ago my husband was arrested and jailed and is still there now. I have come to the decision that I don't want to continue my relationship with him. I want to go back to my family where I belong - do I need to get a divorce?

I have been told my marriage is invalid as there was no wali present. If so what are the means of a separation in an invalid marriage? Also I'm doing taubah everyday but I feel so uneasy and restless. I feel as if I have ruined my entire life and do not want to live, I pray every day to Allah to keep me away from evil. I always feel like I have this cloud of anxiety around me. My biggest fear is the embarrassment me and my family will face when my relatives will find out about what I did 🙁

milano

Advertisements

Tagged as: , , , , , ,

6 Responses »

  1. OP: My biggest fear is the embarrassment me and my family will face when my relatives will find out about what I did

    Well if they did not find out when you were with that guy for 8 months, most probably they will not find it out. You can't change your past, but you can control your actions in future.

    Get some education, a nice job and a find a good husband.

    Your husband may come back after he is released from prison, so break of your relations before that.

  2. As-salamu alyakum sister Milano,

    We cannot tell you that your marriage was invalid. I suggest that you ask your husband to give you a talaq (divorce). If he can write your a letter declaring divorce, that would be perfect.

    I know that you are young, and at your age one big mistake can feel like you have ruined your life. Also, people's judgment of you can feel very heavy. I can only ask you to trust me when I say that everyone makes mistakes. I guarantee that your parents, and all those relatives and friends whose opinion you fear, have made mistakes also.

    I myself made serious mistakes in my youth, and to this day there are people who knew me from those days who do not socialize with me. But who cares? I have gone on to start organizations and found websites (including this one). I earned black belts in three different martial arts and have recently founded my own style. I was married for almost a decade and although it ended in divorce, I have a beautiful daughter who is my life's treasure. I have traveled to many nations and had wonderful experiences. Alhamdulillah.

    The same will happen with you, Insha'Allah. You will go on to have your own achievements in life, and eventually this youthful mistake will seem insignificant.

    This is life. It goes up and down. You make mistakes and have successes. The only thing that matters is that you keep your head up and continue moving forward. Don't let anyone tell you that you are inferior. You are not. Only Allah is The Judge.

    Wael
    IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  3. Its amazing how you think first you gt married with
    Him with love and you left your family and got married
    To him you must have known what he is and his family
    And all of the sudden girls like you change your mind
    And start thinking about divorce like its a joke
    Rather than see and speak to your husband abt issues
    And make it work anyhow but all of the sudden you
    Guys change your mind start looking for every reason
    You can find to accuse your husband who u married with
    Love now wt a reason u found tht there was no walli
    Nice job money and new husband will solve eveything
    Lets suppose you leave ur husband gt job and
    Find a new husband like its a joke leaving one and
    Finding another what gurantee you have nxt one will
    Not be worse than your existing husband its you who have to
    Change the way you think and if there is anything you
    Would like to change in ur husband change it with love
    Marriage is not joke that you play around for little bit
    Thn once the fun is over wen life becomes a reality
    Girls like you strt running away how many times will you
    Run away your family will give u every advice to take
    Their reveng saying ur nikkah was invalid there was no walli
    Dont put your guilt on your husband and you shouldnt have no
    Guilt as being muslim your family should hv respected
    Your decision and should hv got u married with honour
    You wasnt marring non muslim its thm whos in wrong
    And in islam it says girls nd boys hv right to choose their
    Partner in a gud way if ur parents are embarced its their
    Mistake they shud hv put things right for and today they
    Are making another mistake to ruin ur marriage for which
    You have no value for so go ahead run again like u ran
    B4 keep doing tht fr rest of your life gud luck.
    I m nt judging u bt u mking a mistake running away will nt
    Solve issues hv faith in islam and follow it and try nd think positive.

    • Yasir khan: Its amazing how you think first you gt married with
      Him with love and you left your family and got married
      To him you must have known what he is and his family
      And all of the sudden girls like you change your mind
      And start thinking about divorce like its a joke

      She married when she was 17 years old. 8 months ago her husband was arrested and jailed and is still there now.

  4. As-salamu alyakum
    after the death of my sister-in-law on 25/10/2016, my brother got married on 12/12/2017 to a Khulla girl about one year ago. at the time of marriage the qazi wrote as first nikah as per girls parents and they did not show us the khulla papers. Is this nikah is valid or not. please suggest us

    Allah Hafiz

    abrar

Leave a Response