Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Is a marriage that has never been consummated a valid one?

Sexless marriage

The other day I found out something which I found very disturbing and wanted some clarification on the matter from someone in the know.

My friend has been having trouble with her marriage and basically came to me for some moral support. During the conversation she let slip that her husband and her had never consummated their marriage.

I didn't say anything to her but found the situation bizarre considering she has been married ten years. I just wanted to know that under Islam are a man and wife allowed to live together without consummating their marriage?


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9 Responses »

  1. did she say why? are they not in love yet!

  2. AA:

    10 Years with no sexual relationship? WOW!
    I guess if that's what they want it might be OK W Allah A3lam
    But WOW!!!

    May ALLAH guide us, grant us patience, and shower us with his mercy.

    If I am correct, it is from ALLAH. If I err it is from me, and I pray ALLAH forgives me.


  3. some people don't want sex!

  4. every knows marriage isn't about sex but people get married to have children and children are blessing but nevertheless its up to the couple what they want

  5. Well if they both don't want it then it probably doesn't matter in Islam, unless they're doing this for the wrong reason, for example, to annoy one another. Though Islam would encourage us to create a family of our own to spread Islam and to make a stronger bond between husband and wife.

  6. Salaam waleikum waragmatoelah hibrakatoe,

    May Allah bless you all dear brothers and sisters, If I was somewhat knowledagble about this matter I would heartly present an answer, But I am not therefore I leave it to those with knowledge.

    If I hurt anyones feelings please forgive me, I see a lot of comment but I dont see in particular anyone answering her question or maybe its just me ?

    Anyhows, Please try to help in the correct manner and way.

    May Allah bless you all dear brothers and sisters and of course I am sorry for hurted feelings.


  7. This is a dysfunctional marriage. Physical intimacy is an important human need, and therefore it's an important part of any healthy marriage.

    Secondly, having children is one of the most important reasons for marriage in Islam.

    People are saying, "If they don't want sex, that's up to them!" But the reality is that everyone craves physical intimacy. If they are not having sex, it's because something is seriously wrong with the marriage, and I guarantee that they are not happy.

    Often in cases like this we find any of the following factors:

    * The husband is impotent.

    * The wife is frigid or suffering from some condition like vaginismus. This could be medical, but also often occurs when the wife was sexually abused in childhood and is afraid of intimacy.

    * The husband is having an affair on the side or has a secret second marriage.

    Obviously I cannot determine the reasons why they are not having sex, as I have no clues. These are just some factors I've seen in similar situations.

    Islamically speaking, the lack of consummation does not dissolve or end the marriage. The marriage contract is still in force and the marriage is still valid. There is no time limit for consummating the marriage.

    Whatever the underlying problem is that is preventing the marriage from being consummated, the couple needs to address it honestly and openly. One or both partners may need to see a doctor, or the couple may need marriage counseling.

    Imam Suhaib Webb was asked a similar question. See his answer here.

    Wael Editor

    • AA;

      Wow! Isn't Islam a truly beautiful religion? 🙂 We don't just try to give answers, we will also point you to other places where you will find answers, and get more knowledge. How often do you deal with a person who is willing to do that? Usually people just try to take credit or pretend they know it all. But good Muslim share and spread the knowledge. 🙂

      Jazak Allah Khair Wael.

      May ALLAH guide us, grant us patience, and shower us with his mercy.

      If I am correct, it is from ALLAH. If I err it is from me, and I pray ALLAH forgives me. Allah knows best.


  8. Assalam Alaikum

    I agree with Wael. I think love and its physical manifestation go hand in hand and is an important part of marriage.

    If this is not happening and both parties are happy then fine,but mu guess is that your friend is not happy.

    Therefore they should talk about it and seek the advice of a doctor.

    As Wael has said there may be many reasons for this,and if at the end of the day the friends husband is not interestedbut the friend is then she needs to think carefully as to how inportant this is.For instance is the husband loving and careing, does he provide. If at the end of the day the friend feels that thesethingsare not important,but she may sin, then she needs to divorce and find re-marry rather then sin.However divorce is the final resort.

    May Allah guide the friend and the partner and help themto resolve the problem,if indeed it is one.

    Allah Hafiz.

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