Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Is Divorce Reversal Possible In My Case?

Halaalah

Separation and Halaalah

(This author's previous post:

Divorcing second wife on paper but not verbally so that I can still be her husband; is such arrangement possible in Islam?)

I had married secretly my 2nd wife nearly one year back

Few weeks back we had major differences and we both decided to get separated. However at later stage I decided not to divorce my 2nd wife and made desperate attempts to save the marriage. However my 2nd wife was adamant on separation and forced me that I must divorce her and pay her meher and maintenance amount for 3 months and get out of her life as we had heated arguments on trivial matter. I agreed reluctantly for her happiness if that’s what she wants as I wasn’t prepared to divorce her and made desperate attempts for reconciliation.

My 2nd wife threatened to inform my 1st wife incase if I don’t divorce her and told me that she is probably under sehar (black magic or jadu) and she told me I must divorce her so she can get out of that sehar spell and she seemed mentally unstable and literally hated me as she thought perhaps my daughter knows about it and thinks she has done it which isn’t true as my daughter doesn’t know because she had seen my sms and my daughter had called her out of curiosity.

I subsequently reluctantly sent her mobile text message nearly one week back to her sister and wrote 3 times on the sms that I divorce her in 3 sentences. She told me that by sending this sms in accordance to shariat it is considered as divorce, which I had disputed as I sent it under duress so that the sehar effect can get nullified to give her some piece of mind as this is what she thought wrongly.

Thereafter my 2nd wife told me to make divorce deed and so both I and she could sign it. I didn’t want to do it and she threatened me if I don’t do it then she will send papers to my 1st wife home or to my office so reluctantly did it and signed on divorce deed 4 days back under duress as was scared she would inform my 1st wife and felt very hurt.

I felt my 2nd wife was mentally unstable when that happened. In the divorce deed there was a clause which stated as follows below:

“That three Talaqs have been pronounced by the First Party to the Second Party, which will become effective immediately.”

However I never pronounced this verbally and nor was this mentioned 3 times in the divorce deed that I have divorced her. The only 3 sentences of divorce I mentioned was by sms in one instance moment as mentioned above and even the divorce deed was signed under duress threat from my 2nd wife that she will inform my 1st wife incase I don’t agree to divorce her.

I met her 2 days back and now both me and my 2nd wife are considering reconciliation. Based on the above is the divorce valid in the eyes of Allah? Is it possible for reconciliation at this stage of waiting period. Can she become my lawful wife in accordance to quran?

I saw website http://www.irfi.org/articles/articles_751_800/talaqthe_divorce_issue.htm stating it is possible to reconcile and halala is not required provided we reconcile during waiting period. All the maulvi which have quran and their urdu translations say that reconciliation is not possible for me. Can you please help me.

Please let me know the correct Islamic position as I will only act in accordance to sharia.

~ ahmedali

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12 Responses »

  1. brother, salam,

    you have made a joke of marriage. May allah guide you.

  2. http://darulifta-deoband.org/showuserview.do?function=answerView&all=en&id=10525

    This fatwa is issued by darul uloom deoband this an 140 year old Islamic seminary in india following Sunni Hanafi fiqh.

    • though deobandis do follow the hanafi madhab in fiqhi matters, they follow sufi tariqahs too, this link explains it ... http://www.islamqa.info/en/ref/22473/deobandi ... be careful brother from where and whom u get info from

      islamqa is the best website to ask questions on, u may even want to try asking on islamweb website. but my first recommendation would be the islamqa site. sorry, im not sure on what to say on ur case, but i hope u will get the answer to ur questions soon from the websites i have suggested. people on here are good for advice in general, but u need a knwledgeable person to answer u on this. hope everything goes well for u. take care brother

      • I believe Islamqa is based on Hanifa madhab. So therefore the OP should decide depending on which madhab he follows. Its best to ask an Imam in person.

        • islamqa is not based on the Hanafi madhhab.They do not follow a particular madhhab in all matters. But take what is correct from whichever madhhab. This website has been banned in Saudi Arabia, perhaps on request from the scholars. Shaikh Salih al Munajjid, the Shaikh who runs this website was termed Qutbi by some major scholars. Allah Knows Best, but the scholars in my place say that we can refer to the statements of the prominent scholars on this website, but not what has no reference.

          Muhammad Waseem
          IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  3. I don't think that he made a joke of his marriage. He seems sincere.

    Divorce signed under duress/ unintented is not valid.

    Prophet said " Allah has pardoned my ummah for what they had done under duress "

    But if you had intended even for a second then you are divorced ONCE not thrice. You can reconcile right away. Get back with your wife and try your hard to make this marriage work. Visit a psychiatrist or an Imam if needed.
    Ask Allah for help, pray salat al isthikhara.
    All the best.

    • Oh I missed your first post. I've just read it.

      I hope you've sincerely repented for the years of grave sins (adultery) you've committed. I hope that you are on the right path now and regreted your terribly disgusting actions. Remain committed to both your wives insha'Allah. And do your duty towards Allah, fear him for his punishment is severe and true.

  4. Salaams,

    Brother, this is a fiqh issue beyond the scope of the feedback that we offer on this site. I suggest you meet with a local qualified scholar or imam to sort this out.

    Personally, I am not sure why you would even consider reconciling with someone who you have come to the conclusion might be mentally unstable and clearly is variable about what she wants from a relationship. What evidence is there that she has made the necessary changes to make the marriage work this time?

    I think if you find out marrying her again is a possibility, you should make istikhara and wait a bit before the nikkah to see how she truly is functioning. Nothing of what you described sounds like the makings of healthy relationship.

    I think it wouldn't hurt for you to also put your own niyat under thorough scrutiny. You said you married this woman secretly the first time, and much of what led to the divorce was because of her threats to tell your first wife about the secret marriage. Keeping her a secret was wrong from the beginning, and I don't see anything here to indicate that if you could remarry her, that would also be done in secret again. I think you need to open your eyes and realize that you are taking something sacred as a game and deal with things openly and honestly, not only with the second lady you married but your first.

    -Amy
    IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  5. assalamalaikum
    PL DONT GO NEAR NOR TOUCH THEM WITH 40000000FOOT POLE THE FATWAS AND COMPANIES IT IS ALLL FAKE GROUP AND SECTS FORMED BY THEMSLEVES AND THEY ARE PLAYING WITH MILLIONS OF GIRLS LIVES-

    JUST STICK TO THIS ADVICE OF NABI SALAHAUALAHAIWASALAM-WITH THE HEADING IN QURAN AND EXPLANATION IN HADEES-

    The Last Sermon (Khutbah) of Prophet Muhammad (Farewell Sermon)
    I leave behind me two things, the QURAN and my example, the SUNNAH and if you follow these you will never go astray.

    SO TO UNDERSTAND ISLAM YOU NEED NOT GO TO ALL THE COUNTRIES FOWL BRAIN MULLAHS AND MOULVIS[DONATION MONGERS WHO HAVE TWISTED ALL THE PURE TEACHINGS OF ISLAM] FOR THEIR PALTRY GAINS-THE SELF APPOINTED GOOD FOR NOTHING SCHOLARS OF ALL THE CENTURIES AND SOUTH ASIAN COUNTRIES- AND GET CONFUSED AND FINALLY LIVE YR LIFE OUT OF ISLAM ... ........ RATHER FOLLOW WHAT THE SAHABAS DID AND PRACTICED-
    65:1) O Prophet, when you divorce women, divorce them for their waiting-period, *1 and compute the waiting period accurately, *2 and hold Allah, your Lord, in awe. Do not turn them out of their homes (during the waiting period) – nor should they go away (from their homes) *3– unless they have committed a manifestly evil deed. *4 Such are the bounds set by Allah; and he who transgresses the bounds set by Allah commits a wrong against himself. You do not know: maybe Allah will cause something to happen to pave the way (for reconciliation). *5
    "If you have to divorce your wives, you should divorce them till the expiry of their waiting-period".[3 menstruation periods][ONE TALAQ IN ONE MONTH IN WHICH &ONE PERIOD PASSES CONDITIONALLY STAYING IN THE HUSBANDS HOUSE WHICH IS AN OPEN OPTION FOR RECONCILLATION AS PER THE LIMITATIONS IN QURAN BY ALLAH]
    The intention of this verse is further explained by a few other Ahadith which have been reported from the Holy prophet (upon wham be Allah's peace) ai d some of the major Companions. Nasa'i has related that the Holy Prophet was infomed that a person had pronounced three divorces on his wife in one sitting. He stood up in anger and said:'`Are the people playing with the Book of Allah,although I am present among you?"Seeing the Holy Prophet's extreme anger on this occasion, a person asked: Should I not go and kill the man?" If this Divine Command is rightly followed, no one will regret after having pronounced divorce, for if divorce is pronounced in this way, there remains room for reconciliation within the waiting. period, and even after the expiry of the waiting-period the possibility remains that the separated husband and wife may remarry if they wish reconciliation,

  6. Brother,

    Although I am unable to properly answer your question on returning to your wife per Shariah law, I can tell you nothing good ever comes from keeping a secret. You are like a spider weaving a web and you are bound to get caught up in it sooner or later. Now while you try to work things out with wife #2, you must realize that from here on out when things get rough...wife #2 is going to threaten you with going to wife #1. I can't imagine how you sleep at night having to keep the secret that you have. Would it not be better to let wife #1 know of your marriage to wife #2 or, would wife #1 leave you for your deceit in going behind her back and marrying wife #2?

    Salam

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