IslamicAnswers.com: Islamic Advice

I got engaged to my boyfriend 10 months ago, we both belong to different countries, earlier we had a breakup due to parents not accepting but then after 6 months of trying he convinced his parents and proposed. We recently are facing a lot of problems in fact the same problems we had prior to our engagement.

Before we took a step to get engaged we discussed about the times we weren't together, there was a time when he went on a educational trip to a country for a month and made friends (people from different countries), upon clearing he did not accept my friendship with certain people whom I had friended only within a month, so I applied the same to him. I had cleared to him I do not like you interacting with those people whom you met on trip as it reminds me of the times you left me and got drunk with them and went clubbing (I had also gone clubbing but never got drunk, I do regret it), he agreed to me and said I'll not be in touch with them.

As time passed he started adding them all on social media, we had many arguments about it and at the end he would delete his social medias, until now I was thinking its cos he understands what I feel, that phase when we were not together he was with them drinking, smoking playing the fool. It hurts when the memories come back and although more it hurts to see his pictures still with them getting drunk on social medias. For him I stopped talking to really good friends including girls just cos he didn't like them and I didn't want to remind him of the past and I never looked back at them.

Whenever I try to make him understand he doesn't, instead he will make the situations all on me, For a months friendship he forgot the 4yrs I gave him. And the worst part is what ever I don't like and he knows it still he does it more, it kills me even more. He will say I am with my parents and can't msg you but then I see him uploading  pix on social media and I am fool. I'll run to him even if I am taking my last breath. Whatever he says he will not do he although more does it, he never keeps his words. Anything I say he acts to it like I am nothing, his favorite dialogue is "I am the man not you, you are not supposed to ask me questions I am supposed to", I never ruled over him he just says it everytime I tell him anything.

Since we are from two different countries and we decided for a future together I expect his support the most but he clearly says the kind of support you want I can't give you..

Whom do I share my feelings with? I made the decision went against my parents even though they accepted they still wished the boy to be of our nationaly. I really don't remember when was the last time he understood me and any of the point I took out came in my support.

I always talk to him in a good way calm way even if it's not my mistake and I am hurt but he always puts it's up like I did wrong and when ever I say something which bothers me he will end up screaming and fighting and make the whole thing as I did wrong, he would hang up and ignore my calls then and talk less, even when I say baby or please he says you're speaking in a rude way, so what is the correct way?

He wants me to learn his culture but how will I if he doesn't share with me? If he doesn't like something I expect him to say it in a good way and of course I'll change it, as i am going to go into his house and I need to follow his culture, he wont say anything and when there is a point I raise he will say you did this you did that? How will I know what's right to you and wrong cos what's right for me is always wrong for him so isn't it better he shares? And I will get a reply saying it's better I see what you do. For me it's Ok to talk to my cousin brothers, my parents won't have a problem as we grew up together and share a great bond, but to him it's called cheating. I always take the initiative to speak and sought out things even of its his fault but he says its cos I am guilty.

I am tired of this behavior I feel pain I feel bad for myself why does he do this? And feel nothing! Why is a women meant to just bear pain? Why men don't understand emotions?
Please help with your advice.

naya9110