Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Is it haram to cut off ties with muslim friends?

Is it haram to cut off ties with Muslim friends?

- Sara123

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26 Responses »

  1. Sara123, As-salamu alaykum and Ramadan Mubarak,

    The answer is yes, in a general sense it is forbidden to cut off ties with relatives and friends. But there are exceptions to this rule as I will explain below.

    The Prophet, sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam, said, "It is not permissible for a Muslim to be abandon from his brother for more than three days, both of them turning away from one another when they meet. The better of them is the one who is first to greet the other." [Al-Bukhaari and Muslim]

    He (pbuh) also said, "Do not break off ties with one another, do not turn away from one another, do not hate one another, and do not envy one another. Be O slaves of Allaah brothers." [Al-Bukhaari]

    However, I want to add a comment that our friendships in Islam are supposed to be based on our dedication to Allah and our deen. We love in the cause of Allah, and we dislike or reject someone in the cause of Allah.

    The Prophet, sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam, said: "There are three things that whoever attains them will find the sweetness of faith: if Allah and His Messenger are dearer to him than anyone or anything else; if he loves a person solely for the sake of Allah; and if he hates to return to disbelief after Allah has rescued him from it, as much as he would hate to be thrown into the Fire." [Al-Bukhaari and Muslim]

    If your friendships are based on this principle, then it should be unthinkable to break them off over something petty, like an argument, or a misunderstanding, or any small thing. Even if it is something bigger, the best thing is to forgive.

    Ending "Bad Friendships"

    But let's take another example. Suppose you have a friend who does haram things like drinking and zinaa, or someone who mocks Allah and Islam, while you are trying to be a better Muslim. You know that being around that corrupt friend influences you in a bad way. Maybe you try talking to that friend, to convince her to change her ways, to no avail. In that case not only is it permissible to cut off your friendship with her, it is in fact advisable to do so.

    Allah says in the Quran, "Therefore, shun those who turn away from Our remembrance and desire nothing but the life of this world." (An-Najm 53:30)

    And the Messenger of Allah (pbuh) said, “Man models himself after his companion; so let each one of you see who he chooses for companion” (At-Tirmidhi).

    So it's really a matter of your niyyah (intention). If your intention is to please Allah and be a better Muslim by separating yourself from destructive influences, then you are doing the right thing. But if you cut off a good friendship based on negative emotions like jealousy, suspicion, anger, or petty arguments, then you are disobeying the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh).

    In that case, Ramadan is a good opportunity for forgiveness and reconciliation.

    Wael Editor

  2. What if this friend is non-Muslim? Is it still frowned upon to sever relations with someone who treats you badly but has been a friend in times of need?

  3. Salam,

    In similar lines of this question I'm too doubtfully about I'm committing sin or not plz brother and sister reply my doubt

    I have two friends non muslim one is a girl and other boy.
    We r friends for around 2yrs.

    Now the issue is that
    In my country there were election and the person who won he is anti muslim and has committed unjust to muslim people in his state.

    Now both of my friends had voted for his party and B coz of this I'm very sad as they support him after the unjust he has done to muslim.

    I'm on a verge to breaking friendship with them am I Islamically doing the right thing.

    I know it sounds stupid to break friendship on political grounds but is it r8 Islamically

    Plz answer my query as it is on similar line with this post

    Allah hafiz

    • @Ikram
      Islamically its good you do that because that's bad company and therefore you have every reason to end the friendship. I for one would not mix in with such people that want to cause hate on others for no reason. Trust me political is not worth it, it only causes more hate, you are doing the right thing.

  4. Nowhere does it say in the quran or sunnah that it is haram to cut ties with your friends. As a matter of fact, it is better and recommended not to have to many friends since they constantly bring you back to the wordily things. As muslims, we are submitters to allah alone and if something or someone is getting in our way to become better muslims then we need to ignore it. If your mother told you not to pray, you would have to disobey her, even if she has a lot of power over you. So you can ties with friends anytime and day but you cannot turn on a muslim.

  5. I have not been able to speak with nor see my immediate family for the past few years because of personal problems which my husband had and still has with them.
    It has been 8 years and though many a time they have sat down to try to reconcile their differences.. it has never made things better only worse.
    I ended up ending contact with them because it would just create serious problems and fights between my husband and I.
    my husband
    Blames them asks me to blame them for severing ties.. not him . Though im not to contact them because he will not allow it.
    My question is am I still commiting sin if I am severing kin ties so as to save my marriage?
    Please explain and share your thoughts and with any hadith supporting or passage from the quran.

    • bano, please register and submit your question as a separate post, and we will answer you in turn, Insha'Allah.

      Wael Editor

  6. These days its better to have no friends at all.

    My own people have back stabbed me so much in the past that I am left on my own to deal with it. To no fault of my own I have seen the worse in my own this hurts me great deal and often brings tears to my eyes that how can a muslim friend not be there for me when I have always been there for them even with the pureness of my heart, bailing them out from their own problems. How is that fair?

    • yes i have no friends cut them all of because the only one who betrayed me are (friends) and i feel much better now without friends

  7. It is not good to break any relation as
    The Prophet, sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam, said, "It is not permissible for a Muslim to be abandon from his brother for more than three days, both of them turning away from one another when they meet. The better of them is the one who is first to greet the other." [Al-Bukhaari and Muslim]

    But one thing i am not getting is that how could be a person so selfish and stone hearted that he can cut off a friendship so easily like a friend of mine just cut off all the ties with me just because of her selfishness... What does Islam say about that?

  8. What if you have a Muslim friend who is very selfish and uses you and acts offensive but you don't want to fight about it? Isn't it better to avoid her and stop talking rather than accept her offensive behavior knowing she won't change?

    • I would say yes, avoid her. People like that are toxic and will only poison your spirit.

      Wael Editor

      • I have a few friends. Most of them smoke hash and sometimes do zinnah. One of them is away from zinna but smokes. But most of them want the life of this world. I was like that as well but then I understood and try to stay away from such things as much as possible. They're too young to understand that this life is not meant for us muslims to be lived with ease. Whenever we meet, I often try to make them understand the Islamic values and principles. Some of them listen, some don't. Some act as well and some never do. But the major thing is that I can always feel whenever I'm with them that they're hiding something from me. Idk, if its for my betterment or is it that they're too afraid to tell me or feel too ashamed. But they often, sometimes tell me some things indirectly by making up a story and asking me about it and that story which they make up often involves the people in my life or of my life.
        They don't tell me straightforward or by mentioning those such people. I always end up finding it out later on. So, the major thing is that which ends up ruining my life. Too much suspicion, too much anger and idk where to put it all. All I do is pray to Allah to give me patience. But sometimes I feel like I might end up putting all that frustration to the wrong use. I don't want to stay stressed about it all or be angry over something which is true or not, which I don't even know as well rn. And their smoking and talking about other sins doesn't provoke me now as I once was the same sinner as them but now I'm trying to repent. So, is it right if I tell them that if they stay the same, speak or ask me things the same way, I no longer can keep up with such a friendship?

        • Hamid, it's best to cut back on your friendship with such people. Now that you are living a cleaner lifestyle and turning toward Allah, seek new friends who can encourage you and support you on the path of Islam.


  9. What if a muslim friend broke their friendship with you over a petty argument and it wasn't your fault?

  10. What to do if your bff is not giving you attention and have made another and ignores you ...what should i do if she destroys my inner peace and makes me sad and i get depressed seeing her like that...the thing is she avoides me while being my friend...if i will break the friendship she can acoid me and maybe i won't mind it like i do noe and cry ....please tell me what to do according to islam

    • It's clear that she doesn't want to be friends with you anymore. Doesn't care about you, after finding another friend to be bbf with. Life is precious you just don't need certain people in your life that destroys your inner peace. You need a honest, good character friend, that respects you and your friendship. When you get older you will realize those people are not meant to be in part of your life.

    • Salam,

      You're supposed to resolve conflicts. You might want to ask if you did anything to her or if it's just that she likes this other friend better. It could be that she perceived something bad from you. Talk to her, ask if you did anything wrong, and go from there.

    • Hello, Salam. I have this dilemma I need to run by anyone whose willing to read. I used to be friends with these two Muslim sisters and we have known each other since childhood. My friends have had not ha d an easy life as they watched family members either abuse them time and time after again or have their mother pass away and then evrrryonr else left leaving them. Anyways, my family has tried our best to be there for them but they always rejected as they did not want to be seen as less than. Fast forward a couple of years, they start to become very hurtful and angry towards me and my family by claiming we have not been there for them and or tried hard enough. It was as if they had nobody left to fight with since it was just them. Now I don’t mean to judge or anything, but I felt in my heart that their so used to a toxic environment that all of a sudden they started to call us family and in return they started to treat us like family, very toxic vibes. I have forgiven them for how they would talk to me as they are missing a mother figure and have nobody else left to feel the warmth of love/ or have someone concern about them. Anyways i now realize that’s wrong. The point is, I tried helping one of a the sisters for an important matter and I was signing a class up for the girl, with her own sister watching everything. Fast forward weeks later she claims I signed up for an extra class. At the time of the accusations, I was so quick to say i did not sign up for an extra class, as her sister who was watching doesn’t recall signing up for another class. Fast forward things got messy and they ended the friendship over the matter. Which is entirely fine as I’m done giving my all only to be told it’s not enough, time and time after again. Now I’m starting to think what if I did sign up for this class? Will I go to hell for “owing” someone money? Because they had to pay extra money for a class she had to drop.
      By I know for a fact she has a wealthy friend she can get money from all the time. They knew my family was struggling financially yet they still felt the need to ask because their needs were always first. I realize I seen salty writing this but I don’t want to go to hell over a matter like this. Call it ego or whatever, but I feel as though if I just be the bigger person and send money, I feel like that’s giving in and letting them know the way they speak and accuse me and my family of such things was okay. I am not one to back away from saying sorry, if I make a mistake I say sorry. But in this case, I wasn’t entirely sure but now that I am certain there is doubt. I can’t help but feel guilty because I don’t want to die doubting whether I be knowing I owe someone money and that they hold hate and are upset over this. I don’t want to be friends with them ever again as if it was emotional abuse, I let myself get treated with disrespect and out of feeling empathy and sympathy for them I always told them what they wanted to hear. If they got upset I just apologized as I knew they were suffering and perceiving things wrong etc. I feel like if I was honest about how I felt about them , things wouldn’t have gotten this far

  11. I stumbled upon this post after being deeply hurt by a pious Muslim friend breaking ties with me. According to her, we are not on the same level and she wants to be a better Muslim and no longer wants to be my friend. This is a very valued friend of mine. We have always had discussions about Islam, she has influenced me in a positive manner and always given me good Islamic advice which has been followed. I also consider myself to be a good Muslim. I'm not great but I'm also not bad. I am at a different stage in my path to Allah and that's very personal to me. There's been times where my emaan has been low and times when it's been high. I've always strived to maintain and keep the attachment of my heart to Allah. I am distraught because this friend doesn't want anything to do with me anymore for absolutely no specific reason. I haven't done anything bad (intentionally) Islamically nor have we had any arguments. It's abrupt. Sudden and random. I don't think this is right nor do I deserve this. I feel not good enough for her from a religious perspective and judge very badly because of this. How can this be right? Surely Islamically this is wrong.

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