Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Is it mental illness or something wrong with behavior?

Loving father and son

Dear Members,


Just joined this forum to discuss an issue so that I may find some guidance from you.


My son is turning 4 years old this June,  however, he doesn't do a two way communication,  for instance, he doesn't do handshake unless his mood is not good.  He unlikely other children is so good at making friend or playing with kids of his age. However,  he recognizes the whole family and everyone in his maternal family. He loves to have cupcakes, lays,  biscuits which we keep in a cupboard and he demands a certain thing which wants with the brand name of that thing. Besides, he loves to go to school and Parks where he enjoys playing but not with other kids. He sometimes clearly says he wants go out without me in the car. He tells us when needs to go to toilet.  I mean he is very good at communicating certain things but he is not doing a conservation with us and others. Initially we thought there is some problem with speaking since he is too young be might start speaking fluently but that never happened. He can sing first two lines of almost all poems such as twinkle twinkle, johny Johny,  wheels down the bus and many more. In car he often indicates he wants to listen Dil Dil Pakistan. He has memorized more than five hundred words, he know everyone by their names. But if I ask a question, he tries to cut the conversation by kissin me at my face.

Now his school where he a pre-nursary student has started complaining that unlike other kids he is too slow and he doesn't follow the instructions and doesn't reply and doesn't take part in activities and school feels he has some problems may be they want to say he is not normal.


Please guide what should I do?  Shall I start working on him by considering him an unfit child or I shall opt some assistance from some spiritual people?  Please advice what should I do?  Or I shall leave him at his own assuming he'll be alright in future.


Plz help me


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9 Responses »

  1. No need to stress out on this.he is just 4 yrs old.some children are just shy.they are not good at expressing things.consult a pediatrician (child specialiat).he will help you in this need to waste your time and money on spiritilual healers.

  2. Assalaamualaykum Sarfi,

    He might just be a shy child as Wellwisher suggests. It's hard to say at this age, but if you are concerned based on the school's observation of his behavior being out of the ordinary, you could indeed consult a pediatrician, who may or may not refer you to a specialist such as a child psychiatrist.



  3. No sister, your child is not unfit but you do need to work on him a bit. Taking him to a child specialist is a good starting point. For what you describe, this could be a part of autistic spectrum disorder that needs behavioral therapy and will not improve on its own if you just leave him assuming it will get better with age.
    You do not require a spiritual healer here.
    Having said that, it is quite possible that your child is perfectly fine and is just taking his time to adjust to a new school environment.

    • AOA there are definite traits of autism-
      difficulties in social interaction
      inability to understand or follow instructions
      The ability to memorise

      to recall a few. My child has autism and is verbal and academically bright, has difficulty interacting even with some family members she knows well- mostly kids her age range. It's a tough.slog but you need to at least get your child assessed and enable them to have the the right support and teaching.

      All the best In sha'a Allah

  4. My younger sister when she was -5-6 year old.. She was nil at conversation.. So our parents thought that she can't speak.. But she was alright.. Some kids are really late when comes to conversation.. Don't worry.. Your son reminded me of my sister

  5. I agree with the other comments. I think you should start with his pediatrician. Discuss your concerns with a medical professional who has experience. Also make sure they check his hearing.

  6. Don't worry about it, he'll be fine inshallah. When I was younger I was exactly the same. You never heard a peep out of me until I was about 7. Everyone used to call me Mr.Reserved. But I guess I was just introverted, but now if you see me im like the most extroverted guy you'll ever meet, new nicknames social butterfly, happiness pull. Bit don't worry he'll defo improve

  7. Assalam valaykum
    My son is 3yrs old he has same symptoms, I worked on him with paediatrician and he is diagnosed with autism it was heartbreaking for me but I want to help my child and now I started some therapies such as speech and occupational therapist
    Good luck, Inshaallah our children will get Better with all the therapies and duas

  8. From what you wrote I think he has autism coz my son is the same and same age he was diagnosed with autism. Let him get checked by child development centre.

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