Is marriage after a haram relationship possible?
I've been in a relationship with a guy for 5 1/2 years.
Recently, his mom called a few times talking to my mom and my family's decision was strongly based on istikhara. My parents agreed to perform istikhaara but the result was scary, they saw me skinny and as well as our family's enemy smiling at us and saw some other weird people too. So my mom rejected. He's also suffering from black magic, what's been told to him that someone made his luck asleep and stuff like he couldn't get anything he wants plus recently he's been really sick all of sudden.
They were told that it could be that we didn't see good results because of the blockage on his luck. His family isn't among those who ill treat others for sure. And of course I know what we've been through wasn't suppose to be as we're Muslims and it's not allowed for us, but the age I'm going through is when a girl gets lots of marriage proposals and I don't want to be with anyone else.
Is it really impossible for us to be married because of haram ? We are truely guilty yet wanting to be together with Allah's blessings and parents happiness.
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Salaams,
It sounds like what you're asking essentially is, if you've been in a haraam boyfriend/girlfriend relationship with someone, and then you try to find a marriage partner after that and it's not working out, is it because of the fact that you sinned?
Anytime we are in a situation where the desired result is being blocked or made complicated, this should be the first questions we ask ourselves. Are we sinning or doing something wrong? Is their something about our lifestyles that needs to be changed or brought into submission? If we can identify anything that would meet that criteria, the obvious first step is to change those things.
If you were in a haraam relationship, end it. Repent to Allah for what you've done and ask His forgiveness. Now, it may be that He is giving you a consequence for what you've already repented of, a price you must pay for choices already made. Yes, that is possible. If that's the case, the best thing to do is accept it as a justice against your wrongdoing. Instead of fighting or questioning why it's happening to you, tell Allah that you know that anything He gives you is in perfect wisdom and you do your best to accept this.
If it's not either of these, then it simply could be a test. An opportunity to keep your focus on Allah where it should be, a chance to strengthen your faith in Him over your faith in your own logic or what you can understand of the situation.
Tests and punishments both require patience. Whether we deserve what's happening or not, the best response is to maintain sabr and continue to try to live our lives in a way that pleases Allah every day until He chooses to provide ease, as He says in Qur'an 94:6: Verily, with every difficulty there is relief.
In any case, take this as a lesson not to cross bounds by entering in prohibited relationships in the future, and thank Allah for protecting you from something that may have even been worse than what you're going through now.
-Amy
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Salaams sister
I 100% agree with post above.
If you love this guy then marry him, if you generally not interested in marrying this guy then let go of him and move on. I don’t even want to believe in such things happening to people because we has humans need to look at ourselves before we even say anything about anyone whether good or bad. To me it seems you really care about the package rather than really love him regardless whatever choice you make I hope its good enough for you.
If you love him/her....marry them. its that simple