Is my ex-husband’s sister’s divorce fulfillment of my revenge?
Editor's Note: Leelu has two previous posts regarding the same matter:
Will I get my husband and unborn baby back in the eternal life?
Why do people divorce and what happens to divorced couples in the hereafter?
My exhusband gave his first divorce to 17 years old girl after 3 years for not being able to produce a child and then married me without telling me the truth about his first marriage and divorce.
when i got miscarriage medically he divorced me just after two days of my abortion leaving me alone for my whole life time. he knew i would never be able to remarry in my life. Its so easy for anyone to say that i should move on.... i never wanted divorce intentionally.
I messaged him a lot for asking a divorce in agression or fighting but i never meant it at all...i just asked this bz i was suffering from abortion. my ex-husband knew my nature. when i got abortion my husband's cruel father let me forcefully go with my parents' home but i said to go in my husband's home. my husband was out of station and his father was with me on the day of abortion with my own parents which were called upon by him so that he can let me go back with them but after 2 days of abortion my husband divorced me.
i cried a lot to my husband to forgive me for the third time and not let me go in my parents home but he insisted me to go there. after that my brother made many efforts with his friends to make my husband come back in my parents home and recoincile the matter. but husband and his father never came whenever fighting arose. and so not come even after my abortion. on the day of abortion i was suffering a lot mentally, physically and emotionally..
I wanted my husband to talk but he did not even messaged me on my mobile about my condition not even after my miscarriage. i just wrote a sentence to my husband moibile that "sorry my husband i am not able to give you this child" but he never responded. i accept that i made a lot of tensions for my husband but i did this just to get his true love and care. i just wanted his love but he always never understand me and my feelings for him.
my brother phoned him to come to our home and negociate but he considered those phones as bad and never talked to me. i closed my mobile at that day because i was suffering a lot and never wanted to talk to anybody...next day he came with his father and a stranger in his car and gave a stamp paper to my mother's hand mentioning three written divorces on stamp paper. he used following words on stamp paper... "i give my wife talaak, talaak talaak salasa as KHULA and make her free from my wedlock/bond"......... which khula?
I never wanted khula never ever. this cannot be a divorce. i do not accept this divorce. i am not divorced dear ones. he knew this then why he did this to me? i cried a lot before divorce and asked him to forgive me for my abusive words and not let me go in my parents home but he asked me to wait for some days. after two days of my abortion he gave me divorce at last. i love him a lot..........i am not divorced.. he is still my husband and will always be my husband till my death. why you ask me to forget him and moving on... no i loved him, i gave him my body, he used me, he also loved me at some times in my life, how he separated me from him, how??????????
divorce is not a game then why he divorced me thrice? if he divorced me once or twice i shall definely go back to him but he blocked all my paths by writting 3 instant divorces as khula ON STAMP PAPER WITH two witnesses. he did sin... i shall never forgive him... i shall never forgive him. i ask God to take my soul and make me dead as i cannot bear this loss.
3 years have passed and i am still in his love. what i do dear . now i am getting old and cannot forget my husband..... i want to go back but he has married thrice. he gave divorce to his first wife also and now to me also why????????? Does he not have any fear of GOD? how can he be happy in this life by ruining the lives of two innocent women? how? weeping.......................
i got missed miscarriage thats purely on medical grounds as there was a gestational sac but no embroyo in it at all. will i get my unborn baby in jannah? will i get my ex-husband in jannah? i not only lost my virginity to him but i lost myself to him as i gave him my soul, my heart and now i can not expose myself to anyother person. without halala i want to go back to my ex-husband but he has married thrice and has daughter now? why Allah blessed him with daughter as he ruined two lives of innocent girls?
i have heard that a woman will be with the last of her husbands if she married more than one husband but what about that woman who never remarry in her life time after divorce?
Moreover just after 6 months of my divorce i heard that my ex-husband's real sister also got divorce. was this my revenge from Allah Almighty? what is the punishment for that cruel man and his father who did so wrong with us. kindly guide me. warm regards
leelu
(THIS POST IS CLOSED TO FURTHER COMMENTS)
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Salaams Leelu,
You have been given adequate responses in your previous two posts. The answers are not going to change, because the bottom line is still going to be that you need to move on from your past relationship and any issues pertaining to it. You need to seek professional psychiatric help to move past this place and mindset you seem to be stuck in, as it does not appear you are able to do so successfully on your own or even with the feedback we have already given you.
-Amy
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Dear leelu,
Assalamalaikum,
This is to bring to your notice that your husband is an illiterate person who does not know what is islam and divorce in islam.
After the quran and hadees is very clear read-(65:1) O Prophet, when you divorce women, divorce them for their waiting-period, *1 and compute the waiting period accurately, *2 and hold Allah, your Lord, in awe. Do not turn them out of their homes (during the waiting period) – nor should they go away (from their homes) *3– unless they have committed a manifestly evil deed. *4 Such are the bounds set by Allah; and he who transgresses the bounds set by Allah commits a wrong against himself. You do not know: maybe Allah will cause something to happen to pave the way (for reconciliation). *
The intention of this verse is further explained by a few other Ahadith which have been reported from the Holy prophet (upon wham be Allah's peace) ai d some of the major Companions. Nasa'i has related that the Holy Prophet was infomed that a person had pronounced three divorces on his wife in ane sitting. He stood up in anger and said:'`ARE THE PEOPLE PLAYING WITH THE BOOK OF ALLAH , ALTHOUGH IAM PRESENT AMONG YOU?" Seeing the Holy Prophet's extreme anger on this occasion, a person asked: `Should I not go and kill the man?" `Abdur Razzaq has reported about Hadrat `Ubadah bin as-Samit that hi: father pronounced one thousand divorces on his wife. He went before the Holy Prophet (upon whom be peace) and asked his ruling on it. The Holy Prophet said: `By the throe divorces the woman stood separated from him along with Allah': disobedience, and 997 pronouncement remained a: acts of injustice and sin, for which AIlah might punish him if He so willed and forgive him if He so willed. " In the details of the incident concerning Hadrat `Abdullah bin `Umar, which have been related in Daraqutni and Ibn Abi Shaibah, another thing also is that when the Holy Prophet commanded Hadrat `Abdullah bin `Umar to take his wife back, he asked: Had I pronounced three divorces on her, could I have taken her back even then? The Holy Prophet replied: No, she would have stood separated from you, and this would have been an act of sin." In another tradition the Holy Prophet's words arc to the effect: `Had you done this, you would have committed disobedience of your Lord while your wife would have been separated from you."
NOW COMING TOY OUR HUSBANDS HE IS THINKING WOMEN ARE COWS TO HIM AND WHEN EVER BIRTH IS NOT POSSIBLE OR DELAYED HE CHANGES THE COWS.
SEEING HIS JAHALATH AND FIRST OF HIS FATHERS AND THEIR OVER ALL UN ISLAMIC NATURE....THEY ARE NAME SAKE MUSLIMS AND NATURE IS SAME LIKE THE NON MUSLIMS IN THE MATTER OF SANCTITY OF MARRIAGE AND VALUE OF A WIFE WHICH IS MORE LIKE THE HINDUS CULTURE TREATMENT.
AND YOU PL DONT SHOW JAHALATH LIKE THEM IN THE MATTER FO MARRIAGE- FOLLOW THE SUNNAG OS THE PROHET SALALHUALAHIWASLAL.
IN HIS LIFE AND MANY OF THE SAHABAS MARRIAGE /3 TIMES WAS COMMON AS PER THE SITUATIONS.
SO PROCEED FURTHER AND MARRY SOME ONE RELIGIOUS PERSON WHO KNOWS THE HADEESES OF THE SANCTITY OF MARRIAGE DONT THINK OF THE LAST AND THE FIRST. SEE THE PRACTICAL LIFE OF THIS WORLD FOR WHICH INSTRCTIONS ARE IN QURAN AND HADEES.
HOPE YOU WILL BECOME BROAD MINDED AND MOVE THERE IS SOMEONE WAITING FOR YOU TO GIVE HAPPINESS IN LIFE WHICH YOU HAVE NOT EVEN IMAGINED WHICH ALLAH HAS IN STORE FOR YOU-
REGARDS
ALI YOUSUFF.
Sister Leelu,
You very seriously need psychological counseling. Your desperation and inability to move on do not make logical sense and are not congruent with what you experienced.
You've said before that your husband was cruel and harsh and you were never happy with him. You say that you demanded divorce from him many times. So you got what you asked for. You say that your ex-husband played a game on you, but if you made all those demands for divorce without meaning it, then you were playing mental games with him too. Frankly, you sound like an obsessive and desperately needy person. No man would want to return to such a relationship.
You say he is still your husband. But these are just words. The truth is that he is NOT your husband, and he married someone else. That's reality, accept it and move on.
You say that you can never be with anyone else. The reality is that you could marry someone else, if you wished.
As for your "baby", there was no baby. You have said there was no embryo, which means there was no life, no baby. You are living in a dreamworld.
Sister, please get yourself some psychological help. You may in fact be mentally ill.
This post and your previous two posts are now closed.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor