Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Is oral sex equivalent to intercourse in zina?

advisory avoid zina

I am 21 years old from a muslim country.  I haven't had a girlfriend until a month ago.

I am faithful to God, but all my friends and people around me have done zina.  So has my girlfriend. I feel like a no one around them as I am inexperienced.

I was curious, is oral sex equivalent to intercourse? Is the punishment equal? Is kissing or touching a female breast and butt equivalent to oral sex? What are the acts of minor zina and their punishment?


- Husain

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23 Responses »

  1. Having a girlfriend isn't allowed in Islam so I'd leave her. Also, just wait until you're married. Also, I don't know if it is haraam - some say yes, some say no.

    • It's haraam to engage in any form of oral sex (or any other kind of sexual activity) with anyone other than your spouse (in the OP case - wife). As the OP is not married then oral sex is haraam. Period.

      Oral sex with ones spouse IN MARRIAGE ONLY is halal - although there is some differing opinions amongst the scholars.
      But out of marriage it is haraam.

      • "It's haraam to engage in any form of oral sex (or any other kind of sexual activity) with anyone other than your spouse (in the OP case - wife)."

        "Oral sex with ones spouse IN MARRIAGE ONLY is halal - although there is some differing opinions amongst the scholars.
        But out of marriage it is haraam." - That's what I meant...

  2. Assalam'alaykum,

    First of all, know that pre-marital relationships are haram in Islam. Basically, having girl-friend is forbidden and there will be sevre consequences and punishment in this world and terrible punishment in the next. As muslims, we must submit our will to Allah and obey His commands. We must break the evil norm within a society. Allah said: " Do not even go near ‘zina’ (fornication or adultery) for it is a very indecent thing and avery evil way " (Quran 17:32)

    all my friends and people around me have done zina. So has my girlfriend.

    Bro, there is nothing to envy from these evil people. By Allah if we were living under sharia law, they would be either dead or beaten severely by now due to the grave sins they are commiting and openly disobeying Allah. Allah said: “And those who invoke not any other ilaah (god) along with Allaah, nor kill such person as Allaah has forbidden, except for just cause, nor commit illegal sexual intercourse and whoever does this shall receive the punishment”; The doom will be doubled for him on the Day of Resurrection, and he will abide therein disdained for ever;
    (Quran 25:68-69)

    “But when Allaah wills a people’s punishment, there can be no turning back of it, and they will find besides Him no protector”
    (Quran 13:10)

    Basically, touching of a non-mahram/stranger woman is forbidden/haram in Islam. Period. Our prophet said: “For one of you to be stabbed in the head with an iron needle is better for him than that he should touch a woman who is not permissible for him.”
    (Tabarani). Zina (adultery/fornication) is not only refering to the actual act of intercourse, but the ways leading to it are also part of zina and has to be avoided. Allah said: "Do not even come near zina.." and our prophet said: "The zina of the eyes is looking, the zina of the tongue is speaking, the zina of the hand is touching, one may wish and desire, and the private parts confirm that or deny it.”
    and Allah ordered: "“Tell the believing men to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts). That is purer for them. Verily, Allaah is All‑Aware of what they do.(Quran 24:30)

    therefore, disobeying Allah is a grave sin, no matter if the sin is minor or major. And your friends aren't spared either. The time will come. Allah said:Those who reject our Signs, We shall soon cast into the Fire: as often as their skins are roasted through, We shall change them for fresh skins, that they may taste the penalty: for Allah is Exalted in Power, Wise. (Quran 4:56)

    Indeed, those who deny Our verses and are arrogant toward them - the gates of Heaven will not be opened forthem, nor will they enter Paradise until a camel enters into the eye of a needle. And thus do We recompense the criminals; They will have from Hell a bedand over them coverings [of fire]. And thus do We recompense the wrongdoers. (Quran 70:4:-41)

    The sinners will be in the Punishment of Hell, to dwell therein (for aye)(Quran 43:74 )

    Therefore, Its best to be a stranger amongst an evil group of people. Its also best to be a lone pious muslim in an evil society. Obeying Allah and His messenger is somthing to be proud of and so we must not try to blend in evil ways and then regret later on, but then, there is NO refuge. Prophet said: “Islam began as something strange and will revert to being strange as it began, so give glad tidings to the strangers.” (Muslim).
    So, do not even think of continuing your illegal relationship with that girl. You WILL regret later on in life if somthing evil happens. It will haunt you, find you and destroy you sometimes. Do not fool around with girls, they will be a wife of another brother one day and you will be a husband of another woman. So dont play devil. How would you like if your wife happened to be an extremely filthy girl ( God forbid ) ? Or your daughter did sexual acts with a stranger (God forbid) ? Or etc. It obviously is terrible and disgusting. So please stay away from dirty/filthy people. Wait till you're married and do as you wish with your wife insha'Allah. If that girl don't change/improve her Islam, she is bound to hell. Would you like to join her ? You said you are faithfull to Allah, so continue to do so and never disobey Allah. Hasten to repent before Allah sends His punishment and then you will not be helped by anyone. Become a sincere pious good muslim. Pray the daily prayers, make tawbah and do good deeds. Ignore and avoid all the evil deeds and insha'Allah you will prosper in this life and the next.
    Allah said: "The ones whom the angels take in death, [being] good and pure; [the angels] will say, "Peace be upon you. Enter Paradise for what you used to do." (Quran 16:32).

  3. Why would you care what your friends do? You are your own person, you are not them and you don't have to/you shouldn't copy them.

    Yes, oral sex is a type of sex and therefore haram if you're not practicing it with someone you are married to.

    I think you should dump your girlfriend, as relationships are haram, and you should consider getting some more pious friends who do not inspire you to commit what it haram.

  4. When I was little, I was taught this one sentence about peer pressure: " If the other person is jumping into the well, would you jump in too". That is all I have to say - you are old enough to know right from wrong - Allah gave us a thinking mind do weigh our thoughts before they become actions and haunt us and lead us to jahannam.

  5. Assalamu alaykum,
    having a girlfriend is not allowed in islam in the first place! To me it seems you just trying to find a way around, you do not want to do the whole act of sex but instead a part because you think this way the punishment will be less???you cant cheat Allah ,He knows your intentions brother so i would advice you to leave this friends and go and do tauba instead ,do your five daily prayers,start practicing your deen more and find righteous friends. You are not a child why would you make poor choices just because of your friends?be a man and stand for the right thing instead!just remember you could die every second and if you die in this state whiles doing haram activities you would face Allah like this,you dont want this do you?after all is your decision and you alone will be hold accountable for it and not your friends. You gona stand in front of Allah and answer for your own sins,no one else will do it for you. If you want to have a halal relationship then simply get married and if you cant right now you will have to be patient until you are married.There is no way around it. For now just lower your gaze and break up with your girlfriend. Start to practicing your deen more,do your 5daily prayer....Spend your time with practicing and God fearing brothers, get closer to Allah and improve your iman. InshAllah you will make the right choice.

  6. I think any kind of fornication (to have sex with
    someone to whome one is not married) is not
    allowed in Islam. Fornication /ينز‎ ‎ . .

    Some people think only sexual intercourse is sex.
    With most our organ we can do sex.

    Sex of eyes = looking.
    Sex of ears = hearing.
    Sex of heart = longing and wish.
    Sex with oral/tongue = speaking.
    Sex with hands = holding.
    Sex with legs = stepping.
    All these are allowed, but only with your spouse. this is the law of Allaah.

    But I dont know how many muslims can free oneself from these.

  7. All praise be to Allah, 1st of all I just want to leave you with this...on the day of judgment Allah will not even look at those who have oral sex, whether you are married or not...2nd of all, being in any relationship with a partner is not allowed that's why Allah has made it so easy for us to get married at any time that's why there is no excuse, Allah does not want to make things hard for us,he wants to make things easy for us but it is us who complicates things...3rdly do not do what your friends are doing if you know its not allowed, just hold stead fast on Allah's religion and nothing can go wrong, spend your time rather praising Allah and worshiping him

    • Maaf I just want to correct my error, regarding what I said about Allah will not look at you on the day of judgement... I have mistaken it for anal sex...regarding oral sex, I haven't come across one.shukran

  8. Its haram outside of marraige. The Quran says 'Dont go near Zina'. However oral sex is not the same as intercourse. In an Islamic state, if you are found guilty of intercourse you will either get whipped or stoned to death depending on whether you fornicated or commited adultery. You have commited Zina by touching and sexually gratifying yourself with a woman, which is haram. Stop what you are doing, before you fall into the greater form of Zina and haram which is intercourse, and repent.

  9. I have once made the biggest mistake in my life just got out of control with this girl . She was my girlfriend and she made me hold her breast does this mean I zana with her ?

    • Mo.Ahmed: I have once made the biggest mistake in my life just got out of control with this girl . She was my girlfriend and she made me hold her breast does this mean I zana with her ?

      She made you hold her breasts. Do you mean she forced you to do it? You also claim you got out of control and you made a mistake?

  10. What should be done to repent for these sins so that we can get forgiveness

  11. As salaam o alaikum.....
    When I was little (non - adult) I did all this kind of this oral and vigina sex with my neighbor girl but at that time I wasn't know about sharia or forbiddance of islam. That girl had forced me to do that but I didn't enjoyed that as she was enjoying. So, was that my sin as zina? If yes so what should I have to do be pure religious boy? Please friends advised me.....

  12. I am 14 and I have had several girlfriends before and engaged in oral sex multiple times even sexual intercourse with condoms. I pray 5 times a day and I am almost hafiz of quran. I live in america as well. I do not know if it is my pubescent hormones but I have a very active sex life. Also the girls I have sex with are not muslim. Is what I am doing wrong?

    • Ryan, I suspect your comment is a joke, but if it is serious then the answer is yes, what you are doing is absolutely wrong and haram. Sexual contact without marriage is a major sin in Islam.

      Wael Editor

      • I am pretty confused and sad rightnow, ofcourse i am and i will ask forgiveness from my almighty god Allah. But i used to sleep with a girl
        (my cousin) who was younger than me. I didnt have deep knowledge about zina, I had oral sex with her sometimes even forced her to do it (i never had intercourse, i did try to do intercourse but thankgod, i always used to get my mind changed or would never been able to have intercourse). So is doing oral sex (other different types of sex except intercourse), 1) made me a sinner? 2) Is it punishable? And 3) will Allah be disappointed in me because of what i did? (now i know that it is haram to do, i will never ever even think of it.) Please answer above three questions.

        • Ashraf, having any sexual contact outside of marriage is a sin. But that is the least of your worries. You say that your cousin is younger than you, and you forced her. What you did was child molestation and abuse. It is not only a huge sin, it is a crime. In my opinion, you should be imprisoned. And you'd better hope she doesn't tell her family, or who knows what they might do to you. And you would deserve it.

          You must vow to Allah and yourself to never commit these acts again. Make tawbah for what you did, and live a better life, and maybe Allah will forgive you.


  13. AOA, BROTHER COULD YOU please write hades ranferance if you have please ALLAH FORGIVE US ALL AMEN

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