Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Is our marriage valid without physical intimacy?

Sexless marriage, lack of intimacy, no sex

Marriage without sex.

Salaam,
I got married in june 2014. My husband had a good relationship with me for a month. This was our second marriage. We went to see his kids in August 2014, he got disturbed emotionally. Now we don't share any personal relationship. He says he is disturbed and he doesn't feel like being in physical relationship with me. Is it permissible for a married couple to live like this? If yes for how long?

anjumje


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8 Responses »

  1. Assalam alaikum,

    It is really early in your marriage - I would give it time. It sounds like he is troubled and possibly in depression - maybe he is having difficulty coping with the circumstances, new marriage, children living elsewhere, etc, etc. You haven't included very much information - so most advice would be based on speculation.

    Perhaps you may eventually need to see a counsellor. Try to build your relationship - get to know him more, spend as much quality time with him balanced with not suffocating him either. Early stages of marriage can be a time when two people have a lot to learn about one another, but also a time when you find out more about yourself in the presence of that person.

    If you do read this, perhaps add some details. JazakAllah.

    May Allah increase the love between you and your husband and ease your difficulties, Ameen.

    • Assalaamualaikam

      I agree with Sister Saba's advice. May Allah help you and your husband through this and ease your struggles.

      Midnightmoon
      IslamicAnswers.com editor

  2. No physical intimacy doesn't cause any annulment of your nikah according to shariah.however it can cause serious social life problems and it can causes emotional damages to wife & husband. So its better if you can talk to him. Don't rush, just listen to him and try to convince him slowly. I hope things will get better . May Allah SWT eases your pain & solves your problem

  3. OP: My husband had a good relationship with me for a month. This was our second marriage. We went to see his kids in August 2014, he got disturbed emotionally. Now we don't share any personal relationship. He says he is disturbed and he doesn't feel like being in physical relationship with me. Is it permissible for a married couple to live like this? If yes for how long?

    Good relationship.... do you mean he had sexual intercourse with you for one month. He should see a doctor for his emotional problems and intimacy problems.

  4. Assalamualaikum,

    He has started talking to a girl and says wants to talk and planning to meet her as she is settled where his children are. Initially I tthought he was going through emotional trauma coz of kids. Not only that he has registered in muslim matrimony and is talking to women. When asked he is denying and asking for proof which I can produce. But I want to know what kind of behavior is this?
    He blames his mother for getting him a seat in mbbs as his sisters are sisters are doctors n making good money.
    He blames his sisters for not intervening during his divorce. He says his decision was wrong in getting married second time as his children didn't like it.
    Is he disturbed or basically a wrong guy I got married to? Please help

    • anjumje: He says his decision was wrong in getting married second time as his children didn't like it.
      Is he disturbed or basically a wrong guy I got married to? Please help

      If he was wrong why is he looking for new wife again? If he had no physical relationship with you, he may have a sexual dysfunction and his new marriages are not going to last very long if the woman does not accept living without intimacy.

    • Assalam alaikum,

      It sounds like a bit of both - disturbed and not the right person.

      If you have the proof, simply show it to him.

      Ask him to go to a Muslim Counsellor. It needs to be discussed why he is seeking marriage elsewhere, not fulfilling your intimate requirements and not be forthcoming. As for his children not liking his marriage to you, I doubt they would be thrilled at his seeking another woman. There are a lot of contradictions happening here. It would be nice to get some real answers so that real and best decisions could start taking place otherwise this sounds like a very messy game.

  5. Salaam
    I showed him the proof infront of his sister. He is saying she promised me a job so was talking to her. And in that I flirted a little bit, so big deal. His sister asked him to stop talking to that female. He said he will at that point but he has not.
    I don't think he is looking for marriage, he has registered on dating sites too. May be he wants to flirt around and wants me to go as he doesn't want any responsibility. I just don't know...

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