Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Is the Nikka Valid?

Performing Nikkah

Assalamualaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh,

I would like to some advise. A Muslim man asked me to marry him and become his second wife. i did not agree to this. His first wife agreed to the marriage and then she changed her mind. he told me that if i married him she would leave him, which never happened because it is not the right of the woman to divorce unless this right has been given to her by the husband. i got married to him under false intentions. Is the Nikka still valid? Also - He never paid the mahr, and this is one year after marriage and he promised to pay it every month until it is paid in full.



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4 Responses »

  1. Salaam sister,

    Firstly I would like to clarify that I am not a scholar and do not have enough knowledge to comment on your situation. However, one thing I fail to understand is why ANY woman is prepared to break up another woman's marriage or break another sister's heart. If you already knew that his first wife was unhappy with him taking another wife and he did not respect her wishes then, my dear sister, how did you think he would uphold your wishes and respect your happiness or your rights? He obviously just wanted a bit of fun and was selfish. It's really sad that some men take advantage of our beautiful religion and break our women instead of preserve, protect, respect and care for them. May Allah SWT forgive us all, grant us hidayat, reward us for our efforts and accept our duas. Ameen

    May Allah SWT do for you what is best for you in your situation. He is the best of planners and the knower of all things.

    • @sham
      What kind of answer is that?
      How many women do you know would be happy to have their husband marry over them? Of course none!
      The wives of the Prophet SWS were themselves feeling jealousy.
      Whom are you to judge this man’s feeling? How do you know what in his heart?
      What you did just now is called fitnah.
      Sister message was clear. She is asking if her marriage is valid not asking you to judge her decision to be a second wife nor her husband’s intention.
      Pls refrain to making those judgments and shaming people’s decisions.

  2. As far as I know, a mahr must be paid before a marriage is valid. It's one thing if you didn't want or need your mahr at this current moment, it's a whole other thing to want it and not being given it.

    Also, a woman can ask for a divorce under any circumstance - no one is born a slave to another human being, so if you want out of a marriage, you can get out of it.

  3. So you married a man whose first wife wasn't at all happy about the new marriage, did not get your mahr, and now want to know if your nikah is valid. What's wrong with this picture. Did you have a wali, or a mahram or a representative when you got married. If not, I would suggest your husband is one of the many men who play games with marriage, polygyny and rulings. Speaking of rulings, if his first wife wanted to divorce him, he could divorce her or she could divorce him. A woman has every right to divorce her husband, especially if he is being abusive, unkind or just failing his responsibilities to her. Or if she simply does not want to be the man's wife anymore for personal reasons. Your husband is either ignorant of Islamic jurisprudence regarding marriage and divorce, or just plain lying to you. A woman has the right to divorce her mean, unkind, lying husband by Allah's decree. She does not need her husband's permission to get a divorce. That is one of the newest most ridiculous misleading statements. Got to give him credit for being an original jerk, though.

    Your marriage if valid. It might be considered fasit or incomplete, but most imams and scholars would agree you are married. If you live in the US or UK it might be more difficult to have your marriage recognized since these countries do not have provisions for polygyny. It is best that you have some documentation of your nikah, particularly the marriage contract. Since you were not willing to get married as a second wife in the first place, you might want to consider ending the marriage. If you decide to do that, tell your husband to pay the dower/mahr and start making arrangements to being a divorced woman. Who wants to live with someone who marries you with deception, failure to pay the mahr and a first wife who is unhappy. Personally, you should have asked your husband if he wanted another sex partner or another wife? The "wife" part requires responsibility and integrity. The sex partner part is often a hit or miss and when boredom sets in, that person soon departs

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