Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Is this acceptable? Can my repentence be accepted?

Boy and girl are friends.

Can we stay friends and plan for marriage later, if we observe limits?

I have commited some sins with this guy. I didnt know they were sins at the time. Alhamdullah i woke up and realized and told him and repented.

I told this guy that is a close friend now (and only friends!) that if we repeat anything i will stop talking to him again. He is muslim and we always discuss Islam. He knows i dont want to be anywhere near zina at all! I made him promise me that he will not do anything related to zina with me.

My question is, can my tawba be accepted if i continue to be his friend? With the pure intention of just friends, no zina AT ALL? He asked his parents and they said yes it can work out and they are very religious people. I just need help though. Can i still talk to him becuase we promised each other that if we get close to zina well stop talking forever. Can my tawba from the sins i commited and am willing to stop be accepted from Allah (swb) if i continue talking to him and no zina at all?

PS we are teens and have STRICT rules that keep us away from other girls/boys (example i can't talk to any boys if i am his friend and vice versa) and STRICT ideas and hopes for us to get married in the future INSHALLAH. We both make dua for marriage and his mom does too. Thank you fellow muslims! Please help and please understand that this boy is a very religious person as well and comes from a religious mom. Also understand that when me and him don't talk for a few days we feel very sad.. Thank you and please don't give extreme or painful advice as i am already in a lot of pain and worry and i repented a lot repeatedly and mad dua for us. (PS i still don't wear hijab so don't be TOOO strict please :() Also i already asked many people and they said it was okay to stay friends if we don't flirt or talk about anything bad or be alone or do any of the haram things. Just friends who give advice, talk about islam, help each other, hang out in groups… etc


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4 Responses »

  1. salam sister
    Q: can my tawba be accepted if i continue to be his friend?
    answer: we all are sisters and brothers in islam. we can talk to each other on one condition that we are not talking in a attractive way like adding smileys to our text or talking in a very gentle way to the opposite sex that the other feels so overwhelmed and attracted to you.
    you accept that you are attracted to him and he is too and you still are talking to each other in the name of islam?
    a sign of tawba being accepted is that you dont do that sin anymore.
    and allah knows best.

  2. As-salamu alaykum sister,

    You already know that you are susceptible to sin with this boy, as you have fallen into it once. Furthermore, the fact that you have feelings for him makes it dangerous for the two of you to spend time together.

    If you continue to contact him privately and spend time with him, you are inviting further sin.

    My suggestion is that if the two of you are serious about getting married and your families approve, then get married. Conduct your nikah and then, if you like, you can continue to live with your families just as you are doing now, until you are ready to live on your own. That way you will not be committing any sin by having personal contact.

    Wael Editor

  3. OP: PS we are teens and have STRICT rules that keep us away from other girls/boys (example i can't talk to any boys if i am his friend and vice versa).

    Why do you need this strict rule if you just want to be friends?

    Why do you think Islam prohibits contact with non mahrams?

    Religious people have sexual desires too.

    You have committed some sins with this guy. You make it look like did not know you were doing some thing wrong? Did you do that in public or when two of you were alone?

  4. Remember repentance can always be accepted if you give up the sin feel remorse from your sin and resolve not to go back to the sin. Cut your self off from anything that will make you think about it or fall back to it remember allah swt a great deal for he is the solution to all your problems follow the quran and sunnah for if you were to before none of this would happen if you are concerned about anything refer the matter with Allah and his messenger and you will be sure not to be led astray and if you were to follow your wims and desires after that you will be certain to commit haram trust that Allah swt knows what is best for his slaves more than any religious person and his rules are more better than yours , who can be more wise then the seer of the seen and unseen do you fear that Allah swt will cause you wrong, of course not.

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