Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Is this lust or love?


Assalam o alaikum,

I m an 18 year old Muslim girl, my life consisted of very unusual events , six months back I fell for a guy who is a 24 year old a practicing Muslim. we got to know each other online and then one day i went to meet him ,he lives 749 miles apart ...we confessed our love for each other and continued chatting for two more months we haven't committed anything like adultery or something, anyways in that time being I used to pray to Allah to convert our relationship into a halal one.

after two months my parents came to know about him but they didn't approve of me talking to a guy on internet so they strictly instructed me to not talk to him...but we still used to text each other sometimes...not everyday but like a measly hi and hello once in a week.

recently we together learned about how a haram relationship is hated by Allah and can never be blessed. how such a great sin it is to talk to those who are not mehram to you.we saw sense and we agreed to totally cut off our interaction. we agreed that after four years when we will both be eligible for marriage he will come with his parents to ask my for my hand from my parent.

we made a decision together and have put our trust in Allah as he is the best of the planners. we dont want to follow shaytan and get hatered by Allah.We want our lord to be happy with us and unite us when its the right time,till then we are patient and are only connected with our duas.

I pray taahajjud very punctually and pray to Allah that I want to complete my other half of deen with that guy and that i want to enter Jannah with him.I believe that dua can change taqdeers and I look forward to that day when Allah will accept my prayers.

my question is that I know we did the right thing by putting our trust in Allah and taking the way He suggested question is that is it love? or is it lust?

dont get me wrong we have repented for the mistakes we have made, and that guy actually turned me into a person i never was...i never used to pray but due to his guidance Allhamdulliah i pray 5 times a day in addition with tahajjud.i used to be a fashionista but now i cant live without my hijab. i used to sing songs alot but now i dont.

i am trying to be a better muslimah, I fully trust my lord and am happy that He fullfilled my first dua ,we are not in a haram relationship anymore 🙂

I thank Allah that He guided us to the right path and didnt let us carry a haram relationship.

Is it ok to ask for the person you like to be your life partner in both the worlds in your duas?

and is this love or just lust?


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4 Responses »

  1. You will know after 4 years. 🙂

    In today's world, it is so hard to know who has the right intention. Your parents were right in forbidding you from talking to this man. It's not okay.

    Be a good Muslim for yourself and wait it out. You'll know over time if it was just lust or not. You or he will move on if it's only lust. If he is sincere then he would go to your mom and dad and ask for marriage.

  2. @OP: You met a 24 year old practicing Muslim six months back....... got to know each other online and then one day you went to meet him ,he lives 749 miles apart .....recently we together learned about how a haram relationship is hated by Allah........we are not in a haram relationship anymore .....we agreed to totally cut off our interaction.

    How did you manage to meet him? 24 year old practicing Muslim did not know your relationship was haram but he made you into a religious girl.

    You should focus on your education. Forget about that guy. I have a feeling he no longer wants you.

  3. Love is a feeling that either comes from an act of caring or something that compels to care. Lust is something that drives a person to start a physical relation and is haram clearly before nikah.

    Do not expect him to be your life partner as someone else closer to him may come along during these four years and form a much stronger social bond than that formed by mere internet chat.

    Keep the emotional attachment with him at minimal level.

  4. I dont think it is fair to keep each other waiting because people change, circimstances change. I honestly think he is using you because your an easy target. Your parents are right listen to them. I dont think you should get close to him as emotional attachement it will cost you dearly. Change for you not because of him. These sort of relationships only cause heartache and its better to get to know someone recommended by family rather than some guy on an internet sorry but these days i wouldnt trust internet. Ask your family to find someone for you this way you get their approval but also you have a better choice and understanding with someone.

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