Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Is this punishment?

Assalam u allakum brothers and sisters,

I make a big mistake .I took vow on Quran pak and than by mistake it got one hafize Quran friend said that this type of vow is not valid but I am afraid now. I make vow that I don't talk with my friends specially boys and don't make any boy brother and don't share talks with him.but I have a friend than,we were so close.he wants to marry me too.but he left me too.

now I am broken.I though if the vow is real than I do kafara but I did not find any way to fulfil kafara and now I am in pain.I am so afraid and worried. I am best friend leave me.he did not think about me and just left.I love him.but I can't do anything.I know I am so stupid,so bad girl.

I don't want to loose Allah.Allah always help me and now what I do?I don't want to tell anybody about it.I only share it with him but now he block me too.I thought when we marry than I do kufara too but now I am alone hanging in it.I try to give money for kufara but it returns to me because the person said they take it next month.

what I do to make Allah happy?I am broken and shattered and don't have anybody to share. I never do bad or dirty talk with my was always clean and about education.he was younger and I teach him about subjects.we never do dirty talks. But I have feelings for him. I want to marry him.I don't want to marry anybody else because I though it would be unfaithful but now he left me.I don't want to live a sinful life. I have depression and anxiety now. Many times I think about suicide. Life become pain for me..


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1 Responses »

  1. Asalamualikum warahmatulahi wabarakatuh sister. The only thing I can tell you to do is namaz and dhikr that's the only way it can help and repent, ask for forgiveness it will help you inshaallah. But before you ask for forgiveness you have to forgive yourself, dhikr and repentence is the only thing that can solve your problems inshaallah. And Allah aza-wajal himself said I can forgive every other sin but shirk and final thing committing suicide is a grave punishment because you are taking a innocent life which you have no control over it except Allah aza-wajal and yes your life is still innocent and it will be by the grace of Allah aza-wajal inshaallah

    I pray for you sister inshaallah everything is going to be better

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