Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Is transgender haram?

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I am 18 and was born as male however inside I have always felt as female since I was 4 years old and I thought this was very bad and wrong and not as God wanted.

Well its not gone away since then and I am told I am very like a girl. The way I look and talk and act and I can't help these things. And many times people will think I am a girl and talk about me as one and say she, NOT because I said so but because they didn't know I was a boy. I do NOT dress as female I wear normal boy clothes and my hair is not really long and not really short.

Also, men have thought I was a girl before without knowing and thought I was pretty and also...I like men, and think they're attractive

To be honest I really want to be just a girl is this wrong? Are hormones and SRS haram??

omar1214

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27 Responses »

  1. As Salaamu Alaikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuhu...

    My Dear Shabab...

    When you look between your legs, what do you see? Do you suppose Allah Ta'ala didn't know what HE was doing? I'm gonna be honest with you. As a revert Muslim, I grew up Christian and the things I was exposed to as an adolescent and young adult made me question how I was put together, too...and no doubt you are being bombarded with sexuality on TV/Internet everyday.

    I'm gonna let you in on a little secret....there is are specific shayateen that are on specific paths all with their own specific agenda to lead you away from Allah, by any means necessary!

    This means they find a weakness to get in first, and then play with your ideas, thoughts, desires, etc. all to get you to leave Allah. Shaytan indeed will work his magic to make all your deeds seem "feel" right. But you have to get to know who you Rabb is. I mean really get to know HIM, read HIS manual and Allah will make you wise to shaytan's trappings. Remember, however you are built, Allah does not make mistake in his creation or anything for that matter. As human beings, we are so flighty, we aren't stable enough to just go by our feelings which shaytan could taint too easily.

    So, the question you must ask yourself is...who's right? Your "feelings" about yourself or Allah SWT's infinite widsom and creativity? If you are truly honest just with yourself, then that answer will always be Allah.

    I promise I know this from experience...I got 20 years of the life and the deen on you, but Allah knows best!
    Take care little Brother! Ahabek, fisibilillah!

    As Salaamu Alaikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuhu

    • what this person needs is a proffesional help-go and get it !! and good luck.there are far too many pseudo mind readers out there.shame on you for pretending to b an expert. we all have a journey to deal with.i want to know if i can convert to sharia islam but i suppose i just read your answer.god does not make mistakes but he does give us this journey.-sincerely,nancy

      • Did you actually just suggest that they go and get professional help? They're not 'pretending to be an expert', they were saying what it's like in their P. O.V. Sure, we given a journey and in Islam, the journey is to see if you would follow Allah at all times. Your gender is not a mistake, and you can be you.
        I'm not saying you should feel like I'm saying that transgender people aren't aloud in Islam, because there's alot of catches to that. I'm saying, follow the right path.
        And Nancy, that was a thoughtless answer. 🙂 Bye

  2. Assalaamualaikam

    We aren't scholars who can issue fatwas, so if you are considering hormonal or surgical changes to your body, I would advise first discussing the matter with reputable scholars and reading as many scholars' conclusions on the issue as you can find.

    There are several views on the issue of gender identity, and these can be a bit of a challenge to explore, as people tend to have strong feelings about gender, sexuality, etc. Some people are totally opposed to all such treatments, while others feel that it would be acceptable in circumstances where the individual is having treatment for a medical condition that has caused their body to not resemble their genetic gender (eg some hormonal disorders).

    There have been several questions published here in the past, about this topic, so it may well be useful to read the opinions and replies posted there.

    Midnightmoon
    IslamicAnswers.com editor

  3. Assalamu'alaikum,

    Omar, if you were not born with both male and female genitals, and had the genitals of a male only, you are considered a male and any tampering with your body to attempt change of gender is haraam.

    In fact, change of gender is impossible. Nobody can change a male into a perfectly functioning female and nobody can convert a female into a perfectly functioning male. All this has to do with following one's desire. Read this fatwa from the scholars:

    http://goo.gl/fFMqPd

    As I said, if you were born male, then you need to remain male until you die and until you meet Allah. You had no choice in selection of gender, nor did Allah Give us any right to change our sex.

    If you were born a male and have had desires to be female, you are suffering with psychological illness. This leads to imitation of the opposite gender, which is haraam as the texts of the sunnah testify and as the scholars agree.

    So, my brother, do not give into your desires for they will lead you nowhere but to the hell, whenever you have such desires, tell yourself that you are a man and Allah Chose you to be a man. You were never destined to be a woman so you can NEVER be a woman.

    If it is the environment which makes you feel like that, then I strongly suggest you to leave that place and move to a different place until you get over it.

    Finally, I suggest you to have a look at this link which discusses views of medical practitioners also:

    http://goo.gl/dkcGuR

    Abu Abdul Bari
    IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  4. Assalamu alakim brother,

    i stand differently as a muslim and a health care provider in that your feelings for alot of young people are normal. alot of children from the earliest they can remember have the same feelings. i do believe this is hormonal as when you look at many children physiologically that have these issues their hormone levels variate more.

    to give you a definitive answer for these feelings we cannot.sincerely i think this issue will always remain a mystery for us. as SEXUALITY and gender are not as black and white and simplistic as many want to make them. as you may not know, when a child is in the womb it is genderless but we start as female in the womb until the female anatomy of a clitoris eventually changes to a functional male sexual organ. male and female foetuses are bathed in female hormones and even male /female babies secrete milk as newborns which is common. i do BELIEVE that in how we come to form in our mothers' wombs these mixes of hormones can lead i believe and many other professionals to various internal feelings of identity that are not simple i am "male or female"

    in all this what i mean to say is that be true to yourself. Read the quran, pray, fast and speak to a counselor or professional in which you can lay out your feelings. personally, i dont think anyone would choose to be in a position in which they are socially isolated but we cannot answer what your life SHOULD be. AS A MUSLIM we have a guide but what you are facing is not black and white.think about what you want. and be true to yourself.

  5. this person is a genetic male and gender female.so many of the responses do not make sense.it aint easy being one of these people.we make extreme sacrifices-not because its cool to do so.or maybe because we saw it on t.v.-sincerelynnancy

  6. we all start as female.then, we are washed with testosterone 1,2,or 3 times.it is supposed to be 3 times-but it does not always happen that way-but then you already knew that,didn't you

  7. i just want to apologize to everyone,especially to norah, for speaking inapropriately-thx,nancy

  8. It is haram.You have to keep the gender Allah gave you.

  9. If one cannot do his/her eyebrows without it being haram and changing the creation of Allah, then how can you change your gender/sex?

    • its not haram.... its cleaning your eyebrows. stop being and extremist , Islam is about peace and love and happiness not rules that must be forced or death and punishment follow it up.

      • Just because Islam is about peace, doesn't mean it doesn't have rules. Every society needs rules and guidance. If a policeman stops you for speeding, are you going to tell him, "It's not illegal, society is all about love, not rules that must be forced." Good luck with that.

        Having rules has nothing to do with death and punishment. Your comments is actually extreme in itself, by equating rules with death.

        Wael
        IslamicAnswers.com Editor

      • Assalamu Alaikum
        The prophet Muhammad saw has cursed women who do their eyebrows, Islam is not about following what is easy for you and denying what is not. Rather you should admit to your mistake and if you didn’t know that doing brows was haram you should do a little research. May Allah guide us all, Ameen

    • Well than you need to get your facts straight sister because Gender Dysphoria means your gender is different from your sexuality (meaning you are born with a gender which is different from your sexual features).

      Clearly it shows you have not read or know any informatiom about GID/ Harry benjamim disease.

      This itself is haraam my dear sister, to speak something from religion without having information about it.

      Please google Harry Benjamin disease which is nothig more than medical name of GID.

  10. Asalam alaikum :

    Hello my muslim brothers and sisters. I'm a trans boy , meaning i was born a female and am turning into a male. I was born into islam. I started becoming transgender at the age of 6. I always dreamt and saw myself as a boy. The house always played Quraan and everyone in the house prayed expect for me since i was very young and prayer isnt required until puberty. Please do not tell me that Allah would actually let the "shayateen" affect a young child. Dont tell me that there we shayateen in my life at all. Maybe when i grew up, yes But thats only because i stopped praying due to the extremist of the religion. Islam means peace. Allah shall prosecute me whether im right or wrong. In some cases , transgender is 100% acceptable. I should have opened up as a child and said something because now people think its psychological issues. I have prayed and been so close to Allah because he would always accept my prayers and dua'a. Yet as i was close to Him I still was transgender. I hate my body. I hate my life. Suicide is not an option then why cant surgery be. This isnt a test , its just who i am. i tried SO hard and i prayed to Allah to "cure" me however nothing happened and Allah can do ANYTHING. I'm more than sure he would help me because he loved me.Allah truly loves me and i feel it everyday whenever I'm sad. I'm so torn because i love Allah but i cannot hate myself because of this religion. I am now 17 years old. It's been 11 years since i noticed i was trans, since i've denies i was trans. Its been a long and hard journey. I will get so much hate and filthy comments from some muslims but fine you can hate me all you want but i know you are NOT Allah. You shall not judge or persecute me. Allah will. I'm going back to Islam but I will do it on my own time.

    Lets say this, just for the sake of my family and all of you beautiful muslims. I will get the surgery and if someday (i know i wont but i said If) i regret taking the surgery then i shall repent to Allah. If Allah can forgive murder and sinners then he can repent "fake head illnesses" as you like to call it.

    • Dear Brother,

      I know where you are coming from.It is very wasy for people to utter the word Halaal or haraam not knowing how there words can affect some body elses life.
      I have been trans ever since i know my consciousness.Being a trans doesnt not mean that Allah had made a mistake.Its a test from Allah just like several other people are tested in some other ways, a child is born with one leg and there is surgery to cure it but will we keep saying that Allah had made him this way and Allah does not make mistakes so he should not go do a surgery.

      Being a trans is not an option, nobody loves to suffer,Wallahi a normal person can never even imagine the pain a trans goes through.Imagine waking up one day in a body of another gender imagine your self being called with a name that does not reflect you and imagine people trying ro define your actions in to a gender role which you are not.Nobody and absolutely NoBODY can know the pain and trust me nobody loves to live a life like this.

      I have been born with female genitals- again by the age from when i remember my consciousness i havd just felt a boy.Growing up till today being a medical professional and living in a primitive society where i have to cover my head.i pray my prayers i live alone and its only Allah that is close to me and nobody else.I have my normal friends who are not even religious.If it was a shaitan inflicting my mind than why havent it inflicted on people who are away from Religion why me ?
      And now people will say its cuz u are the biggesr target to shaitan.well know this than that i love my Creature i thank Him everyday for my life my health and my wealth.I prayed to him several times while i was in distress of finding whether i am right or wrong and He showed me signs in my dreams.i couldnt find the right scholar to talk to and i slept crying about it i saw a dream so real where i was been taken to a scholar who told my father that i am suffering and i need treatment and take this doctor and treat your boy. Ofcourse to an ignorant all this makes no sense but for the people who like to get knowledge before speaking such things shouldt really consider googling the word Gender Dysphoria or Harry benjamin disease and they will know it is a heriditary condition somethine a person is norn with.
      Trust me if there were treatments that could help us reflect what with the genitals we were born with we would go for it with all hearts desire but when it is proven that GID people are born with genders different from there sexuality (physical features/ genitals) and science have only improved to the limit where it can help people like us in changing our Sexuality to match our gender the day science is able to change our gender to match our sexuality i will be the first in line to do it.
      I have spent months and years of my professional medical life exploring my condition and i welcome all of you to feel free and ask me questions religious or medical about it because i am confident that i am not haraam and Allah loves me.

      • I was very happy when I saw your comment but just to make sure I searched a little more and I saw that Quran says god has cursed men imitating (I think was the word) women and vises versa, then doesn't that make it haram ? Or that's another case ? I'm sorry if I'm sounding rude it's just your replay made a lot of sense but there are still a few people I found in other sites that said it's haram and all this is just confusing me, I'm sorry for taking your time and also can I message you ? I just really wanna talk with you since I'm not sure what is going on in my head, well that is IF you want to of course and thank you.

    • hi...u r rite evn m a trans boy...jst researchin on dis..i wnt to b a guy..i hv gne thru a lot of pain...cried in frnt of allah swt..m vry clse to allah nor i fl dat m haram..i pry ech dae..i js wana cum out of ds..but m very mch scared of d ppl n society..i cnt xpress wot i feel to any 1..itz been 20yrs m living lyk dis..i jst wnt to b like the way i fl..m so frustratd,sad i go in depresion alwys...i nvr wntd ds lyf itz do hard to b ds way men..wot shld i do i wna chnge my gender..but i dnt hv dat guts to fce d ppl dat m trans...plzz hlp

    • Dear brother, and I insist, brother not sister, because that's what you are now, and that's what you have been since you were a child, whether you had a surgery or not.
      I'm here to tell you, it's okay.
      Allah loves you because you love him, and because you chose to be yourself.
      No one here is an expert, no one here has the right to judge you, because no one knows whether islam says transexuality is haram because Islam doesn't say so.
      Whoever tells you god hates you or that being trans is haram doesn't have the right to say so.
      In fact, some scholars say that it's acceptable in islam, that being trans is just fine, and I want to tell those who keep saying 'god made you a female so that's what you must be and that you must not change what god created', you guys are wrooong on so many levels.
      so whoever is born with a genetic disease, shouldn't cure himself because god created him that way?
      inherited leukemia?
      Just stop it guys.
      scientists have proven that there is a trans linked gene.
      so yes brother, Allah loves you and do not let anyone tell you the opposite.
      May Allah bless you all, even the judgemental.

  11. Since its not a big sin hopefully you will be forgiven. As Allah is merciful. Dont go to a scholar unless accompanied by someone there are many pedophiles among scholars.

  12. My Dear Sister in Islam,
    There is nothing wrong with who you are. Ignore those who say you are committing a sin. They are not properly educated in Islam and impose their own biases in their own novice interpretations. Did you know that the Islamic Republic of Iran carries out more sex change operations than almost any country in the world and is government subsidized if needed? That fact should give you confidence to be who you believe you are. Living as the wrong gender is a torturous life and unfair. Please see a psychiatrist for the support you need to become a woman and may Allah keep you under His protection.

  13. Hi, this is a very late comment but maybe this can still help you or others. First of all, I'm not a muslim but I'm very interested in Arab culture and I know the common Arab opinion towards LGBT is far from positive. However, I'm going to try and put myself in your shoes.

    The thing about being transgender is very personal: only YOU can feel/decide what you feel (although I can assure you there are many others). Asking for advice on a website like this is very ineffective because the answers you'll receive are most likely from older and more conservative muslims. Also, these people, despite their opinion on Islam and the LGBT community, have never felt what you felt. It is so easy to judge something if you've never had to deal with it yourself. However, if your religion is important to you, you should keep in mind that God/Allah is not a tyrrant (I hope, even though I'm an atheist). God promotes love, acceptance etc. Why else would people worship? They find support in their fears and difficulties, and comfort in the idea that there is a higher power that has a purpose for them in mind. Perhaps your purpose is to follow your own way? To set an example that you can be muslim and transgender (because I can assure you that there are MANY LGBT youngsters like you struggling with their feelings). Remind yourself that the way you feel does not make you a bad person: doing bad things make one a bad person. You cannot change your feelings or pray them away (you cannot change your nature) so try to accept yourself and one day embrace them. If you're a loving, kind person it doesn't matter what you feel. People who judge are probably insecure themselves and should take another look at the Qu'ran and what it says about love, judgemental behavior, and rights.

    So, what I would recommend is: find a support system. If your family will not support you, find a new support system and give your family time to accept what you feel. However, do not apologize or give in to their expectations. You are not dishonoring them by following a path in life that is chosen by you, nor does it mean you cannot be a muslim anymore. Second, find a hospital that can help you with hormones. Start dressing the way you want slowly and involve your loved ones in this (it will help with acceptance). If you want to have the sex-reassignment surgery, depending on the country you live in, you might have to save some money but it is nothing unattainable.

    Please always keep in mind that you are not haram, what you feel is nothing new and most importantly, you are not alone. Find support and follow your own path in life: be the change you want to see in the world. Stay brave and good luck!

  14. asalaam alaykum warahmatullah wabarakatuh ........................i don't have much to say but a little i have is that don't embrace the girlish you feel inside you just act like a man o boy and in that case you'll be normal as others,Allahu aa'alam

    • I think that no one have the right to tell someone that he or she must act like male or female. It's a scientific fact that some people are born with gender dysphoria. Forcing someone to live a lifestyle that the person feel isn't comfortable with can cause harm to that person. You should respect how the person feels and not force the person into a determined role, when it comes to gender and sexuality. It's like saying "You grew up in a Catholic society and you are not allowed to believe in Islam". In Islam, the main thing is what kind f person you are and what is in your heart. I wish more people would be open-minded. You have the right to raise your children into a Religion or as female r male. But you must also let the children choose. You can't decide what they feel and you can't make transsexuality disappear by saying that it doesn't exist. It does exist and we have to respect people even if we don't always understand or agree. As long as it's not about harming yourself or others. God did not create only two genders, and there should be a place in Islam for everyone who believes in the shahada.
      Salam alaikom

  15. Salam alaykum,
    Personally, I have grown up in a pro-muslim household, and have been transgender.. or so I think it's acceptable at least. I figured this out at 7 and a half, and came out a few years later to my mother who told me it is not okay. She told me the exact same phrase: "Allah/God made you like this, appreciate your body", but thankfully, she wasn't disrespectful. I think it is the best that you be yourself, and no one has to tell you what you cannot and can be. I have been taught that if a Muslim commits a sin, he will be thrown into Jahannam (hellfire) for a period of time, and later walk back into Jannah (paradise, heaven). So, I personally believe it is okay, but you should still consult some scholars and talk to other Muslims or people in general that are educated on Islam or on the topic.

    -Anon

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