Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Islamic marriage between a Libyan girl and an American man


Salam Alaikum,

I am a 20 year old American Muslim. I have had a great friend from school who I have known for three years who I have fallen in love with and her with me. She became my best friend.  We both have been talking about how we want a future and marriage.

We have run into a problem though.. She is Libyan, and when she teased about the idea of marrying a non Libyan to her mother, she was told that's not what full Libyans do.  Now she is trying to convince herself she never should have loved or met me and emotionally hasn't been doing very well.  She hasn't been able to have consistent sleep or an appetite and has been crying almost every night.

All I want is to have a halal relationship with the woman I love! Her parents like me, I was the first male friend allowed in their house, I helped them fix their house once they moved in.  They treat me like family.  And have invited me over before.

But I haven't asked for her hand in marriage because of what she told me about the conversation with her mother.  And I am not familiar of the right way to propose in Islam.  I have a job, own a business and go to school, I haven't move out of my moms house yet but am able.  Everyone at the mosque says I have good deen and a pure heart, and we both are Muslims.  I make dua every day to marry her and for her to just be happy and be with her and start a cute Muslim family, What should I do?


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5 Responses »

  1. Brother keep making dua, don't give up

    • Asalaamu alaykum brother keep making dua see it as nothing we want in our life that's good comes eazy it be difficult to do it or get it but ones you have it you'll appreciate it more and take nothing for granted wishing you courage for you to go and ask her hand in marriage but do also remember that nothing is impossible to Allaah everything possible to Allaah so ask with conviction always rely on Allaah to make it eazy for you all the best.

  2. I'm a Libyan man and let me tell you something about Libyans: they will never allow anyone of their children let alone their daughters to marry non Libyans. I've known full Libyan girls who fell in love with other arabs iraqi, palestinian, etc and their families were ready to kill them when they asked for their hands in marriage. Libya is a very tribal place. Trust me you need to leave this girl alone because it will cause her problems. Libyan parents aren't on the compassionate or empathizing side when it comes down too love marriages let alone love marriages to non Libyans let alone a non Arab. I recommend you ask once if you have the guts and if they say no if they're non educated then she'll probably end up engaged the next week and if they educated then theyll lock her away from u so pray to Allah

    • I have to agree with this comment. Although it sounds harsh and unislamic to reject a suitor of good character and deen, Libyans are very very hard headed when it comes to culture. They'd rather see their daughter stay single and miserable rather than marry a non-libyan.I am a Libyan female who grew up in Canada. Single and in mid-twenties, so I know the struggle. Many girls end up with anxiety and depression from this. Make duaa, pray istikhara and go and propose formally to her family. If they reject you, I advise you to end the relationship and move on with both your lives. Stop the whole friendship as well as it will only make you both miserable. Plus a friendship between a non-mahram male and female is not appropriate outside of marriage so I find it strange her family accepted you as a male friend. I wish you all the best inshallah.

  3. Dear brother did u marry a Libyan girl or no. Becoz i want to know from u even I am also love a libiyan girls and she loves me we both agreed to marry and her sister and mother also agreed to marry

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