Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Istikhara advice

 

Salaam, I need some advice, if that;s ok. I carried out Istikhaara regarding someone who I thought would be a good person to marry, due to his good charachter and closeness of religion. He did mention his parents had also gone to Pakistan to look for someone for him, as they had been looking for a while. After carrying out Istikhaara, my heart was more inclined to doing this and progressing this further and approaching families, however his parents returned from Pakistan and said they have seen a couple of people, because they have been looking for him for a few years now his father is in a rush, they want him to go next month and do the Nikkah, we have only gotten to know each other purely for marraige purposes and nothing else, literally for a few weeks. we have not yet approached parents as we thought we should caryy out istikhaara first. However he feels a little pressured with the fact his father wanting to go Pkaistan next month. but having said that they dont know about me. He said he is just going to go Pakistan then, and we parted ways a few days ago. Based on your knowledge, do you feel as though this was the right decision, is this my istikhaara telling me this wasnt the right thing for me? or should we tell parents and then actually give this a go and see where it goes. The reason i am asking is, I dont know if this could potentially be good for me. My heart is inclined to it, but I will walk away, but I just need some guidance on what this means.
Thank you for you help. I hope to hear from you soon inshaAllah.

Anonnymous

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2 Responses »

  1. As Salam O Alaikum

    Sister, as per what i feel i think you both should approach your parents and tell them about yourselves.

    The boys father isnt wrong at his place. Because he doesnt even know that you as a girl exist in his sons life. Since he doesnt know about it, anyone at his place would find a bride for his son its obvious. Just because your parents didnt approach any other potential would be groom for you doesnt means that his parents also shouldnt. THEY ARENT GOING TO GET A DREAM ABOUT YOUR BOTHS LIKING FOR EACH OTHER.

    So dont waste time and take both sides parents into confidence and reveal them about your likings.

    Also the most important query i have here now and that is :-

    If you both want to marry each other then on what basis has the boy accepted to go to Pakistan next month for his so called nikaah fixed or about to be fixed by his father? At that very moment when he felt pressurized by his father he should have told him about you. How and why has he agreed to go to Pakistan ? Little fishy out here. Think over it.

    May ALLAH (SWT) guide you.

    Wa Salam !

  2. The result is clear,get away from such guy otherwise time will tell

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