Istikhara for marriage after zina
Dua for Istikhaarah
Assalamoalikum brothers and sisters
I fell in love with a girl and had a relationship for almost a year. I am very ashamed to say this but we did zina many times during this period. We decided that we would get married and that i would talk to my parents that i wanted to marry her. So i talked to my parents that i liked that girl and i wanted to marry her.my parents didnt like her family but they said that they didnt have a problem if they decided about marriage on the basis of istikhara.i asked the girl about this and she agreed to go with the istikhara.my parents had the istikhara done from a renowned aalim but the istikhara came out to be negative. I got very sad and depressed and told the girl about this and she couldnt handle it as well.she said that we have done zina and her life would be destroyed without me.but i said that we cant get married now since istikhara was negative and my parents would also never agree to it now.we love each other alot and it has become very difficult to stay apart or accept this. And now i feel so guilty about all the sins we did and i feel guilty that i have done zina with a virgin and cant even marry her now. I have cried alot and asked Allah for forgiveness again and again and so has she, but it seems that there is nothing we can do when the istikhara came out negative.i feel extremely guilty for the situation i have put her in because it is more difficult for her being a girl.i am in a dilemma because i dont know whether to follow the istikhara and hurt her or be with her and ignore the istikhara.
I want to ask that is it right to do istikhara for marriage after zina??
Should i just trust the istikhara and leave her even if that means hurting her??
My parents will not agree to our marriage now because according to them this one time istikhara from the aalim was enough and pursuing the girl even after this is not right.but they dont know that we have done zina and we cannot tell about our situation to them because we are very ashamed. Please some one guide us we dont know what to do.
Khalid
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Idc how renouned this person is if you want true results for an istikhara you need to do it yourself!!! read namaz and study islam and youll know your answer
Brother
Simple thing - its a matter of your life and not the so called Aalims. So you have to perform the istikhara and not him. Is that Aalim atleast anywhere related to you by blood ?
What if the same Aalim wants to perform istikhara for himself for some reasons who does he approach to do the same ?
Even ask your parents to read and know what and how and by whom the istikhara has to be seen / read. Put some light on them too.
I refuse to comment on that Zina part. But all i can say is ask yourself what exactly do you want from this life ?
May ALLAH forbid but tomorow if you are duping this girl and getting married to a girl of your parents choice and by chance if you get to know that fact that she isnt a Virgin then what is your reaction going to be ? " What goes around comes back around " in some or the other way. At such point of time what would be your parents take on it ? After all that girl would be your parents choice. Think Over it !
Have a blessed life.
Wa Salam !
OP: I want to ask that is it right to do istikhara for marriage after zina??
Why did not you do Istikhara for marriage before you had sex with her? How would you feel if it was your sister who had done zina with a guy and guy's Istikhara came negative?
Did you make any promises for marriage before you had sex with that girl?
That was our mistake. I agree that we should have done istikhara before we indulged in zina.i realise that now and i have repented alot for my sins and begged Allah for forgiveness. Yes i did promise her for marriage but i had also told her that my parents would decide about our marriage on the basis of istikhara. We both knew that istikhara would be performed even before we commited zina.yet we ignored it knowing that there could be any outcome.
Brother, it's fiction that someone else can do Istikhara on your behalf. Second, Istakhara does not work that way. It's conducted once you have taken the decision.
Since you took away her virginity, you should marry her. Imagine if she was your own sister? How would you feel about having her virginity taken away by man who will not marry her? I don't know your age but you should be man enough to take your responsibility. It's your life, not your parents'.
So ur saying that i should just marry her even though the istikhara my that aalim is negative? I have now performed istikhara myself too and it is still negative.so what should i do now?
Salamu alaykum,
How can someone else do Istighara for you???
The whole thing about Istighara is making a Good decision for yourself.
Read about how to perform Istighara properly because it seems to me that both, you and your parents don't know enough about it.
https://youtu.be/5BG9GNmnOm8
Maybe it is a tradition in your family to let someone else do Istighara for you but that is not according to the ahadieth of our beloved prophet PBUH.
The should get guidance and advice after the prayer. How can someone else 'transport' that advice to you???
Please don't fall in the trap of deception and innovation.
May Allah guide us all.
Too many ppl take advantage and let shatan get the better of them. If you are serious in marriage marry that girl repent both of you. Your actions have serious consequences maybe you should have thought of it take responsibility and be a man. Stop letting other people make decisions for you be a better person and learn from your mistakes. These are excuses for you not to marry the girl, but it was okay before really your are a hypocrite
I am not making excuses. I want to marry her that is why i am here discussing this with everyone. I just want to know that since zina was commited first and then istikhara was done so is it right to do so? Is istikhara still valid if u perform it after a sin like zina?
Asalam alakyum, hubby and myself did nikkah 3 years ago never lived together one day and he drinks and commits zina. Also, we have a child together but she always want to see her dad and is more happier when she sees him? Should I continue the marriage because I have prayed istikhara couple of times and felt good signs .
MaSalam
Sister, please register and submit your question as a separate post.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Too many ppl take advantage and let shatan get the better of them. If you are serious in marriage marry that girl repent both of you. Your actions have serious consequences maybe you should have thought of it take responsibility and man. Stop letting other people make decisions for you be a better person and learn from your mistakes. These are excuses for you not to marry the girl, but it was okay before really your are a hypocriticite.
Istaqarra is something only you can do
This is why we should always wait after marriage for sexual contact
You are in great trouble
What will happen to that girl?
Is she pregnant?
Will you perhaps push for an abortion?
We're you using contraception?
These are the things you need to think of before sex.
Now you have all these issues.
If you like it, put a ring on it and marry her.
You made your own bed, so lie in it and deal with the consequences
If you truly care for the lady you will marry her
Or perhaps terminate an unwanted pregnancy
Good luck
be a man and accept her