Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Istikhara prayer and effects of sihr

sihr, black magic

Salam! I'm in my thirties and my parents are actively looking for a girl for me. I got engaged years back and stayed in the relationship for almost a year after which it broke off due to abnormal reasons although both the families were interested (the girl got seriously ill and doctors were unable to diagnose what was causing pain in her joints along with other symptoms. All kinds of medicines were tried and tested but nothing seemed to work). I wanted to give you background information so you can understand the question better. My question is I did istikhara and felt positive before getting engaged but it broke off and I was miserable after that, naturally. I've had several proposals after that and my family was interested in two of them but every time I do istikhara I feel negative.  Secondly, I've had health issues for the past seven or more years (if it's not one thing it's another), nothing seems to work for me (education, job, health, relationship). I feel emotionally, physically and mentally exhausted. I don't eat or sleep well (I have nightmares), I've become forgetful and have zero concentration. I don't take care of myself anymore, nothing seems to make me happy, everything I used to enjoy before doesn't amuse me anymore. I don't feel like myself! I was told by someone that these are symptoms of sihr and someone also said that istikhara turns out wrong because of it, I don't believe in the latter part. I want to know if that is actually true?? Because my istikharas that turned out negative, I didn't feel inclined towards those proposals were from educated, well to do families and the istikhara that turned out positive didn't work out.

P.S: Dont jump to conclusions, please. I offer prayers, I recite Quran (although itS becoming more and more difficult for me) and there are so many details that cannot be explained. I've tried and tested everything and have contacted you since there's a lot of confusion and I'm hoping to get some guidance from the experts.

Couch Monster

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4 Responses »

  1. Aoa bhai. Istekhara will never wrong. Its an advice from Allah. Recite Surah Quresh all the time . It will give u relief and peace.

  2. Assalamalaikum,

    There is nothing wrong as far as your education, job, health, relationship, marriage proposals, istigharas turning out negative go. : )

    However, as far as sihr goes, from your description, it doesn't even sound remotely positive that it is sihr!

    Regarding the nightmares, the people during the Prophet (SAW) also used to get nightmares! Once a man came to Prophet Muhammad (Alayhi-Salam) and said: "O Messenger of God! I saw my head rolling before me, and I saw myself running after it and seeking it in the dream." Prophet Muhammad (Alayhi-Salam) replied: "Do not talk about Satan's mockery!

    So what is wrong? Well, what you are going through is Allah testing you. If you don't consider these difficulties as tests, then what do u expect to be tests from Allah? - A mosquito biting you? that's what you'd expect to be a test?

  3. Istikhara does not always work as positive or negative feelings; sometimes it also pans out as something coming to an end on its own with reasons that are totally beyond control. So, have faith, that proposal was not meant to be; so were the others where you do not feel inclined.
    However, there is one thing that I would still like to ask you, are you still not over your former fiancee? Do you compare her to the other proposals and hence feel miserable? Think about it. If others are ticking all your boxes in terms of education, family background etc then what is it that is putting you off?
    I am not sure about black magic but evil eye could be a possibility. We know the defense against evil eye are the Muawizatan: Surah Al Falaq and Surah An Na;morning and evening.
    As for nothing working out for you in terms of career and health, you need to find out where you need improvement. What is your field, your qualification? Is it in demand? Do you work in a field in line with your qualification? Do you upgrade yourself?
    Again similar questions for health? Eating habits, exercise, junk food
    Or you have been trying too hard all these years and need a break to refresh yourself and get back on track.
    Marriage may happen when it has to but health and career to some extent are our doings. Think things out and stick to a proper plan instead of trying to fit in many things and remaining dissatisfied.

  4. Were you feeling negative for the other proposals before istikhara? Istikhara if I am correct works best when you are neutral and open to whatever allah wills (although please forgive me if I am off here). We are all humans and sometimes our mind is made up a bit too much before. In which case, you may be biased. Also the proposals may not have been right for you anyways. It doesn't matter now anyways. Allah is the best of all planners, so you will be married when it is right for you. At the moment, you do not sound like you are in a position to be married, and look after a wife. You are having difficulty caring for yourself which is understandable. My suggestion is pause the proposals, and concentrate on you. That is eating normally at decent times, if you have hair on your head oil it like the prophet PBUH did as hair usually damages when we are not ourselves, you are reading the quran good, but maybe read other books to help you boost confidence, volunteer, meet new people, socialise, do exercise, this may help you with your sleep...what foods are you eating, learn to cook, write something. You have been through so much, now you need to be there for yourself and help yourself grow. Inshallah, you will get there, and forget the black magic... make sure you are creating all the opportunities you need to to help you grow, and if you are and things do not change, then perhaps. But see first what changes you can make. you must be strong to be going through this.

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