Islamic marriage advice and family advice


English Translation of the Dua for Istikhaarah

Dua for Istikhaarah


I am a girl who has been doing istikhara along with my mother from over a week now. It is for my current proposal. We were not getting any clear images, colours or dreams that could help us make an abrupt decision based on our interpretation of the dreams. We have heard from knowledgeable people that a person should not make a decision that is solely based on dreams.

To be very honest my mother asked someone she thought was religious (this person is not a part of immediate family or extended family) to do an istakhara and in addition to that a very young cousin of mine did the istikhara as well. Both outcomes told us “no” somewhere directly and somewhere indirectly. Since then my mother has been skeptic about her istikharas and she has not been in ease basing it all on what others saw or heard in their istikharas. Even though I understand her thinking but I still believe it is the fears that are becoming a reason of her worries. She started doing istikhara again and this time she would read “Allahumma khirlii wakhtarlii” eleven times after istikhara as told. On the second day she saw a dream she shared with me that

“She is standing in an area which she says you can call a greenhouse it is like a nursery. There is greenery everywhere with net walls around where there are plants and the stems grow on those walls. Sunlight is coming from outside on all these plants. She brings a new pot and hangs is beside other plants. She then puts a stem in that pot that has no leaves or roots (my mom was saying that in her head she had money plant and my mom likes money plants). After some time she sees that same stem is missing from the pot and she is looking for it then she finds that stem surrounded by black ants. The ants carried that stem and brought it on my mom’s right side that made my mom look at it. My mom hit something on that stem to save the stem and then the stem fell on the ground. All those ants spread on the floor and dispersed. My mom cleans the stem and puts it in the same pot with the positive intentions for it to grow again.”

Now several times she was told that it is the person getting married who is supposed to do an istikhara not others and don’t worry about what others say. I do not see anything in my dreams in particular that I can base my decision on.  I have had proposals before and most of the times my heart would not be satisfied or the situation became clear with time as something did not work out and the proposal did not go any further. This time the family we are in touch with is willing to wait until we are satisfied. My father is satisfied from the level of belief and education of the family under consideration. We have asked his family and colleagues about him and we have had no issues. They said they have done istikhara as well and the guy and his mother both have not seen any negative signs if not positive ones. They are willing to go further with the proposal.

My mother likes the guy and she does not want to let go of a good proposal but she starts worrying when she puts all the stuff I mentioned above together. My heart is satisfied but I stress when I see my mother stressing about it and being indecisive. It is now our decision even though they are willing to wait. I would like to get some insight on what you think is the right thing to do here.



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2 Responses »

  1. Asalaam Walaikum Sister.

    You don't seem to understand how Isthikhara works. I believe there is a section on this site which explains Isthikhara very well.

    Dreams are not part of it regardless what people tell you. And only you need to perform Istikhara and having relatives do Isthikhara is another thing which is not required.

    When you perform Istikhara you are asking Allah SWT to guide you towards it if its good for you or keep it away from you if its bad for you.

    Basing decisions on dreams is misguided ... If all you think about during the day is carrots the chance is you will dream about carrots, that doesnt mean you should marry a carrot .. Sorry bad example but hopefully you get my point haha.

    Please read up on how to perform and understand Istikhara ... May Allah Bless you with a Pious Husband, Bless Me and the whole Ummah with pious spouses ... Ameen.

    • What does it mean though if you see yourself being fed a red sweetened carrot in an istikhara dream for marriage? Ive tried researching the symbolism of the carrot but have found contradictory meanings. Thanks

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