Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Is kissing photographs of a non-mahram allowed?

Assalamualaikum wrwb...

I am a 21 yrs old girl living in UK. Alhamdulillah I'm a practicing Muslimah and practice hijab. 10 months ago, I met a Muslim brother in an engineering students' meeting at university. I liked him but didn't tell him. We seemed to share a lot of common things:). I love to network with people. So, we exchanged phone numbers. After that we spoke many times on the phone.

Then one day, he asked me if I wanted to marry him. I was very happy and told him to contact my mother in this regard. He called my mother and soon our families met:). Both families gave their approvals :). But the problem is that the his father wants him to marry after he finishes his Ph.D:(. That will take another 3 years:(. No amount of convincing him could help.

I love him very much and he loves me too. I have no problem in waiting for him:) As it is discouraged to stay in touch, we have decided to cut off any communication for the sake of Allah. I know that he's still a non-mahram to me and I need to maintain distance from him.

But I miss him a lot:(. I have few photos of him that I see and kiss all the time. That makes me feel so much better. Our relationship has never been physical Alhamdulillah. I want to know if I can do so or should I stop this too?:( Without being in touch with him, his photos are the only things that gives me peace of heart 🙁

It may sound silly to some of you, but I want your advice, my dear brothers and sisters:)

Jazak Allahu Khayran,


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5 Responses »

  1. As Salamu'alaikum,

    Sister, it does not sound silly. It is natural. When you know you are going to be married to someone, the attachment is natural.

    First, I think there can be solutions other than waiting. You could get married, but consummate the marriage after he finishes his Ph.D. Until that you could stay with your parents, as you have decided to stay now. In this way, you could even contact each other and it would be Halal. Hence, no requirement of the photograph would exist (additionally, there is a prohibition for using printed photographs for memory).

    What you can do is, speak to your father. If you feel shy, you could speak to your mother, who would put the word to your father, who can then approach the man's father and speak about this.

    This is one option. Others here, may give you other options. See which one is best and act on it with trust in Allah. Also seek Allah's counsel through Salatul Istikhaarah. Insha Allah, you'll find Allah's Help.

    May Allah ease your problem
    Muhammad Waseem Editor

    • Salaam dear brothers and sisters I am a teenager I am 15 and I’m about to be 16 next year Insha allah I’m hear today because I have a question I had dated twice at after the first break up if was a force break up that I didn’t even know but I was suspicious and I knew who it was and I was right after the break up we never talked he completely ignored me like I didn’t exist I went through depression I didn’t know what to do at all I was always stressed and alone all the time I felt left out but then I got help from a friend sister and she gave a lot of Islamic advice and told me that it was Waldo haram but then after a few months I told a friend that I really miss him and that i wanted to be friends and she told me the other day that he also wanted the Same thing the next day we were planning to talk then he didn’t talk I was also not so then I walked away but he stopped me he said actually stop I want to talk then he apologized for what he did and I said this one question I was suspicious of I asked him was it a force breakup but then he said I don’t know but then I asked again and the. He told me that it was after that we became friends and the other day I felt bad for him and I couldn’t control myself and I asked him and we started to date again although I was not happy I felt uncomfortable and knew I was doing something wrong we were sining so I told him that it was haram without any details then he didn’t believe me so then after 2 months he had to move for a few days so then I talked to this friend sister again and she gave me more advice through text then I screenshot them and sent them to him from my mothers phone and he from his grandmothers that was the only way I could stop as soon as possible so he read them all and told me that he understands and he is totally ok with it we called and talked about it we made a decision I actually made it and shared to him that if we are meant to be together we will be and that I really wanted to be with him and that he have to ask my father for my hands on marriage when we are 18 and that Insha Allah if we are meant to be we will be together and he said he believes in it now and that he would love to be with me so then asked me maybe we can stay as best friends? And then I said yes I would love to in a Islamic way no touching no doing anything haram so now we can’t talk because his grandma had to move I really miss him so I was really looking forward for school to open and then I hard bad news that he changed his school and his brother changed him I was devistaded sad crying all the time now when school is open it is so hard I always come home And cry so I told this sister again she gave me advice and told me that if we are meant to be together we will be and that that happened for a reason a good reason which will help me not only me but for him as well I still cry every day but I always try not to think about it and we both talked to each other as I said earlier that now we focus on our study’s and work on our self I still miss him so much that I can’t even sleep early anymore my question is am I going in the right path?and what is the straight answer to this to can I kiss his picture and talk?

  2. Awwwww sister i feel for you, i think looking at his picture and thinking of the future once in a while fine but if you find yourself doing it everyday then you should spend your time more wisely if its meant to be then it will be insha'Allah use this time to read about our Nabi's (AS) and his wives (ra) how they lived and benefit insha'Allah.

  3. I know a brother who loved a girl and wanted to marry her - but she was still studying. They did their nikah but without ruksati (moving in together.)They lived apart for a while and are now happily married Alhumdulilah, and living together.

    I strongly recommend you pursue this route if you can. Speak to the parents kindly and explain that you are both finding it difficult to stay apart and would like to do nikah. Be open and honest and respectful. Make it clear that you respect the decision and only simply want to do a valid nikah. This can be done with close family and it doesn't cost a lot at all. It is unlikely to interfere with his studies if you are not living together. If your family want a big ceremony to invite all of the relatives this could always be done before you both live together as husband and wife InshaAllah.

    Sara Editor

  4. Jazak Allah Khayr for your answers 🙂 🙂 Thank you so much, I feel so much better now 🙂

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