Should I leave my husband and marry my long term non-Muslim friend who is willing to convert sincerely
Love marriage or arranged marriage?
Hi To All,
My name is Aliya and i'm from Asia and 28 years old now,
This is little lengthy story so please be patience,
I met one person call sandesh(First Boyfriend) at my works place in 2009 , who was younger than me, and he proposed me i disagreed and again he insisted me to have a friend ship, for that i agreed and after some days i started to like him and planned to marry, but he was ready to marry but not with converting himself in ISLAM, and we know very well that we are not going to marry but even we have chat and having good relation between us, he used to help me in the office and other activities also,
I have also met one person Call Badri in 2008 and he is 4 years elder then me and he is very nice and good person but those days i don't having any feeling towards him but i was liking him as a very special person in my life, he is very good, He is non-Muslim, he is very understanding, caring and lovable towards me and my thoughts, he always there for me any time, any place and irrespective of situation, he gives me respect and treat me and my family also with honour,
after some days Badri came to know that i was engaged with sandesh and he warn me what I am doing? Then I told him about our relation and he relaxed and asked me to get a final decision and go for further, also told me that he will speak to sandesh in this regards, but I told badri to don’t talk with him as he is not ready to convert in ISLAM, and badri asked me you like him? I said yes, again badri aksed me you really want to marry with him? I said yes,
then he called sandesh and asked what is the problem in converting in ISLAM, but he started to give some excuses, even he tried very much to convince him but later me and one of my friend told badri to leav m him if he is not willing to do that, that time only badri told me better you brokeup the relation otherwise its hurts you in future, then we have started to stop everything one by one, but even I felt very bad by l maintaining such a gaps and slow down in our daily activities, and this was observed by badri and he told me Aliya better you get married with other guy or else this will hurt you more, but I was not able to forget him, after some days I proposed him and asked him to marry me, he shocked and starts me explain because he knows me and my family very well, he first explained me no Aliya even if i'm ready to do marry with you but your family members will not allowed me to marry you,
he also loves me a lot but he prefers my likes and dislikes first whatever it can be, but after some days he agreed and ask me to from where he can starts the convert procedure, then I gave my brother in-laws reference, then and there only he rushed and he met brother in law and asked for the procedure, after first meeting badri told me he is a good person, but in second meeting brother in-law told badri to give me some time so that I can get some information, badri told me Aliya why your brother in-law asking tome for procedure, whereas he also converted, then he would have the accurate information in this regards, my brother in-law used to call direct bardi and ask him to come his place, badri used to manage his office staff to meet brother in-law, but every time my brother in-law used to be call him and wasting badri’s time atleast 4-5 hours a day, and this has happened for two to three weeks,
after some time due to my mistake badri has given punch to footpath and his finger bone got broke, and he admitted in hospital, next day of operation brother in-law called badri and asked him to come to him place, badri give answer it is not possible now he will come after some days due to bed rest and bone fixing, even he started to call brother in-law and asked to where should meet, brother in-law ignored and was not given fix confirmation to meet and converting procedure, badri used tell me everything by crying, but I was having full faith on my brother in-law, badri was very frustrated and he himself started to searching some other sources through his friends circle and he gone to MARKAZ to know the procedure and from there he got the information and also MAULANA told him to come tomorrow with a BOND so that there will be some notarising process,
he called me and told that Aliya I am trying for last time to convert, tomorrow I am going to convert in ISLAM and please do not share this with any one and also he given me oath of himself, because every time I used to tell all the information and thoughts to brother in-law and he was just ignoring or wasted his time and his efforts, but what my term was converting process will be in my family supervision, even I have shared this to my brother in-law, and as it is told me to send badri to my place I’ll take care, and I called badri told him brother in-laws told me to go there with BOND paper, on the spot badri told me how come brother in-law come to know about the BOND paper? I told him badri I only told him as you are converting in MARKAZ, he tole me give me some time and ended the call, he haven’t called me then I called badri aksed wht happened?
Why you haven’t called me back? He was crying and told me ALiya I was given Oath of myself even you have disclosed this information to you BIL, and also told me that he is taking decision that he will never convert himself in ISLAM and if you want to marry me I am still ready, I know he was doing NAMAAZ, ROZA in RAMADAN month when he was 7 years old, now these days also he is doing the same, but also told me Aliya your brother in-law is not ready to help us and convert me in ISLAM, but this was ignored by me,
Badri was not ready to marry any girl other than me he put my proposal in front of his family but their parents were not agreed, and he started again and again to convince his family but last he convinced not only his parents but family members, uncle, aunty, total 30 members, and he taken me his family place and put his proposal to me, his family members are ready to accept me as their dauther-in-law and every person, the same Badri told me what is my decision, I Told him and his family members “NO” I’ll not go against my family members, he again disturbed and got hurt because of my decision, even he trying to convince me but I was not agreed, after some days his father got 3 heart attacks, during treatment doctor said that his father condition is very critical and don’t hurt him, he started thinking about me and his father and came to one conclusion, but he had done with trick,
He told me Aliya I have promised my father to get marry with any girl, so please you can marry with any one, I told him badri I can’t leave you like this, but badri was know that if he is not going to marry then me also not going to marry, that’s why told me I’m not going to marry you, please leave me and marry as per your parents desire, then only I started to searching to man for marriage, then I have dine ISHTIKARA and I seen Badri in my dream, I told him so, even he told me ALiya you loves me and always you are thinking about me, so I may came in your dream also, that time badri hurting himself and giving me full support on my decision,
then My Husband asked whether this relation is accepted by me or by force full, then I told him no I really like him, and we got married, before my marriage badri was having one good friend her name is “NID” she knows everything about us and told him to marry her, she trying very hard and with full efforts, she also told him that he will be hurt after my marriage so please let her be with Badri, but badri was not loving her and told her NID I don’t love you then how can I marry? And also told her don’t call again him, their last call was on 25th and my marriage was on 27th and second day I called badri and asked how r u? but he was very drunk and he completely out of control and crying for two day by locking his room, and he told me to come back please, I am unable to survive,
I told him badri don’t talk like that, it is unable me to come to you, also told him My husband is very good person if want to talk then you can talk with, then ended the call, but on 29th evening I got a sms from badri and I was shocked, because NID was no more in this world, she left on 27th noon at 14:00 hours and she left three letters for me, Badri and one of her friend, this was very hard to me believe, badri gone to her place and started investigate for death reason, he got her dairy and start to read and was crying he told me everything through sms and my mobile was switched off that’s why I am unable to reply him, but later at night my husband start to charge mobile and he came to know there are 30 sms were pending and he told me who is badri and what’s going on?
I explained everything, badri left to his place and I was not in control just because of badri’s situation and I was crying madly mean while my husband asked me what happened? I told him please call badri as he is alone and everything is crash in his life now, he dialled badri’s number and told badri that Aliya want to speak to you, then I asked how r you? He told I am not ok, because he was losing everything one after other one, he is a such a good person that he saved four life’s and given exceptional future to them, even I am also one of them, but after some days my husband whenever he is angry with me then started to tell everyone that my wife used to call one person at midnight that too at 1.30, which I was never forget, some days later I gone to my sister’s place where JUMMAGI has arranged,
I was sitting alone and was thinking about badri and I told my sister that whether badri spoke to you aor not? Because I was hard time to contact him, but that day my sister told me such a things which I was shocked, she told me my brother in-law saw was intentionally not helped to badri in converting, and also I have given so many trouble to him like dog, and when he came to then I was trearted him like a DOG, this was not informed me by badri, but my brother in-law himself agreed, that time me and my mother felt very bad and missing him very much by thinking that time if we believed him then such losse will never occurs, after some days I really not well in that family, because I used wake up in early morning at 5.30 and take care of all the house hold things and activities, but after some time badri told me Aliya are you ok? You are happy there? Then I told him NO” I am not OK” this hurt him more,
He also told me Aliya think I am unable to survive without you, please come back if you can, and if your husband is not ok, I know these days badri having very big problems and missing their loved one and this situation I am also not then he felt bad bit more, then I was sharing all the activities of my life and what are the situations I am going through he felt more and more bad and one day he told me, Aliya your husband is angry with you? Because yo called me on that night? I told him yes, then he told me don’t worry he will never get upset because of me and ended the call by giving best regards, but next day early morning at 6 I received a call from his sister that he consumed ZINC PHOSPHIDE and that too 240 grm, people will die after 25 grms of zinc Phosphide consume,
but after six days he left hospital, I asked him why you have done this then he told me no I can’t live without you, then I asked him then why you left me with this person then only he told me, Aliya I have tried to a lot convert through your brother in-law was not helped me, I don’t know why, then I told him that badri brother in-law was intense to not help you, badri told me yes I know and this was informed by you, but nobody is ready to believe me, no problem,
After some days I went my mother place for some days, but my husband came to my mother’s place and asked me to go his place, but I refused and told him that I’ll come after some days only, then he told me “you have to come with me RIGHT NOW IF No THEN NO NEED TO COME MY HOME” I told him this is not good, I had only one day at my mother’s place, so I will come in stipulated time only, he left and came next day and told me to come with him I refused, but this time he told me I will give you only one day if you are not coming then I will send some rascals/persons to your mother’s home to bring to my home by forcing,
this has something going wrong and I told contacted to badri and tell the situation, he told me Aliya he is your husband no husband will hurt his wife and nobody will send persons to bring her wife to his home, I agreed and stayed with mom only but next day he came with mediator of marriage bureau along with JAMAD people and told three disgusting things in front of everybody
- That baby was not mine ( I was pregnant, I got married on 27th jan and my LMP was 01 FEB and pregnancy confirmed on 08th of march, from the LMP onwards I haven’t gone anywhere, I have started to rejoin job in march 11th,)
- I told Aliya that don’t need baby now I want after 2-3 year, but she not agreed, if she want baby then she would have slept with other guy, not with me,
- If she don’t stop to going to job then I am ready to give TALAQ and I need my marriage expenses to be embrace,
Everybody told him to mind his language and knocked their heads that this fellow is not a good person, and leaved on me for final decision,
Now I told badri that I am not liking him anymore and I want to be alone, that time he explained me no need to be alone and if I am agree then he is ready to accept me in any condition, after two days I agreed and told badri I am ready to come with you, after two days don’t know how? That my husband came to my home and asked to come him, I left him without saying anything to badri, badri still not married, after going to my husband place I came to know that they are planning to trouble badri and even they are trying to finish him, badri asked me why i gone there when i know they are not a good people???,
but I am afraid off badri’s life, because he lost everything in my love but now I don’t want to lose him anymore, this situation I explained to badri but badri told me if you are thing about my life then should be here only not there, if you are not coming to me then definitely I will die, if you are coming to me then they may kill, because he is unable to survive his life without me, and each and every situation I used to inform because nobody will stand for other than badri, even I am not ready to slept with him, never ever I felt some of something while intercourse,
One thing is there Badri is the only person in this world who can stand for me in any condition, I have taken 3-4 days period to give him final decision, I have to reply him on Sunday, and also badri told me that if my decision is against his fever then he is going to stop every communications with me, that too because of my future, I told him why you are going cut all the communication? Then he told me, Aliya you are not here to come then your problems are still hurt you and I can’t see you in trouble, please leave him or leave me, I am sure that he is the person (badri) who will give me respect and I can be happy with him, even my mother told me if you want to come back then you can,
Now my questions are as follows,
- I should leave my husband or not, ( because his conduct and behavior is not good towards me and my thoughts)
- I would like to go with my Badri (Right or wrong)
- Who is good?
- With whom should I be for life time,
- Because badri is required only one thing that is my happiness,
- And I can’t be happy with my husband,
- If I leave my husband then I don’t what will happen with My badri,
Please get back with solid and good suggestion,
Thanks
Aliya
Entries(RSS)
Salaams,
Sister, you included so many irrelevant details in your post that people are going to have a hard time understanding what happened to give you any meaningful advice. I can't say I was even able to follow what happened.
-You mentioned talking marriage with Sandesh, but seemed to indicate he wasn't Muslim because there was talk of conversion.
-Then you went on to talk about Badri, but you never made it clear if you married Sandesh or if he ever converted.
-Then you mention your husband having issues with you, without saying who your husband is -Sandesh or someone else?
Long story short, if you married a non-Muslim (ie Sandesh didn't convert and you married him) your marriage is not valid. If your husband is a Muslim, then your marriage stands. You should not have been having any friendships with ANY males like the one you have been carrying on with Badri since you've been married. That is sinful on your part, and in my view you don't have a place asking to divorce your husband who has rights over you and your pledge of commitment just to get with someone you've had some emotional ties with in the past.
Not only that, but Badri sounds like a very unstable person if he is trying to hurt himself by overdosing on things and making desparate statements. This is all the more reason you should cut ties with him.
Personally I feel you are making judgments and decisions based on your emotions and feelings. You are asking yourself "what makes me happy" instead of "What does Allah expect me to do in this situation". Your focus should be on submitting to Allah, which would in turn have you focusing on your relationship with your husband and no one else. If you want to be happy, find ways to be happy with the one you are with as Allah decreed (since nothing happens outside His decree) and leave every other man alone.
-Amy
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Hi Amy,
thanks for the response,
First i met Mr, Sandesh (Non-Muslim) and after Mr. Badri (Non-Muslim) then i married to Muslim guy who is my current husband,
Now the problem is i had been told by My husband and his brother to file a case against Mr. Badri stating insisting, forcing me to come back and Mr. Badri warning to kill my husband, now this is totally wrong path they are using, I know bardi very very well that he himself put in risks to save others life,
other side Badri has received calls from unknown numbers and getting warnings,
i am totally confused that what i do, my mother telling me better case a file against him, whese as my elder sister and brother opposing to do that, also told me not do that because in future if something happen to my husband then Bardi will be responsible,
Please look into the same and get back me
Assalam alaikum,
It is really difficult to follow the details of your story.
Based on your question alone:
You can't leave your husband unless you have a VALID reason.
You can't have male friends, Muslim or non-Muslim.
You can't marry a non-Muslim man and you can't even think about marrying someone else. Deal with one relationship at a time!
If he is willing to convert, the word sincere doesn't belong there. Willing to convert means converting for the wrong reasons--because otherwise he would be Muslim now or even better, would have been Muslim yesterday.
Please focus on your life with your husband. Do your best to make it work out--if after immense efforts, it doesn't work out, then you can ask what to do then, but currently, you can't even ask that question in my opinion. Focus on your life and that means focusing on giving your best to your husband--no male friendships.
May Allah bless your marriage with much love and joy, Ameen.
Walaikum Assalam, wa rehmatullah wa barkatuhu, saba,
There are many reasons to leave him, like my LMP was 1/2/13 and pregnancy got positive on 8 of march, from the 1/2/13 (marriage was 27/1/13) day i haven't gone anywhere from his house, and he is telling that i am pregnant in 8 days, is this a good conduct to asking in front of all the persons?????
He also telling that i and badri still in relation, which make me something ugly, Badri has supported me according to my decision,
Now these days i was thinking that i have done wrong to leaving badri, as he was always to admire and adore me and my family,
now a day my mom herself saying to file a case against badri, is this right? to such thing with that person who will not wait a single movement to help me and other??
i was firstly shared my issues with my husband, and my family then i gone to badri because i got not supported my husband and my family, even badri told me that he cann't do anything better you talk with husband and family member, but after some days badri started me to help and support me, that why i have gone through my friends and badri, i have no interest in friendship,
And one important thing is my family has never helped badri and always to hate him where as badri has given exceptional support to my family members,
Please consider these facts,
Either do what you want and don't ask for permission OR follow Islam and the rules will bring peace to your life. There is no 3rd choice.
It is very disturbing to hear you refer to non-Mahram as "my Badri" (question 2 above in your post) and you basically want to hear what you want, as opposed to what would be sound advice.
You refer to Badri in a very loving manner which isn't allowed in Islam. If he did something kind for you, he will get ajr from Allah swt.
Stop discussing other males or any other matter in your house that has nothing to do with your husband. You focus should be:
how to please Allah swt
how to be happy in your marriage with your husband
how to dissolve arguments without fuelling them further with silly arguments
Yes, your husband shouldn't accuse you, but you shouldn't be talking to another male. No husband would tolerate that--especially when you yourself keep saying it is a friendship. Please take responsibility.
If you really feel you have a better plan, just do it--proving to us otherwise or wanting to know what is nice or not, is a waste of time.
I really hope the best for you and wish you and your husband a joyous marriage.
You should stop having male friends and focus on your marriage and husband. Marriage is not a game, sister, I'm actually and literally shocked that a 28 year old woman can behave this childish. I don't mean to offend you, but you sound more like a young teenager than a woman who's hitting 30 in a couple of years. Is this even a serious question? Of course you shouldn't leave your husband for another man! How can someone really get this idea?
You need to grow up and stop playing along to this Badri guys' even more childish games. If he wants to convert for the sake of Allah and himself, then good on him. But he's got nothing to do with you. He has no place in your life since you're married. Isn't your husband saying anything to you having contact to other men?
Hello Adina,
As i told my earlier reply i have no interest in friendship after marriage, but due to some issues in between my husband and me,
i have gone through the a lots of pain and things which i can't explain in this post, i have to obey to do for my husbands good mood, whether i like it or not, why don't my husband do such conduct on me, like giving respect to women who came from other family? and she is right now his wife,
i used to wake up at 7.30 am in the morning before marriage but after marriage i used to got up 5.30 am, ok it is not a big issue but it is matter when i am not feeling well even they used mumble if wake up half an hour late (6.00 am) is this call support or understanding????
honestly i agree that i should not even think about any other man in my life after marriage but what about my husband?? he dosen't have any responsibility towards me??
now the point is badri's converting he has done a lots of efforts to convert, but my brother inlaw was not supported and this has been ignored by me, other wise he got converted a long time back only,
If you have issues with your husband, you having male friends that you keep turning to is certainly not going to help your position with your husband. On the contrary, it will make things worse. Of course your husband has duties towards you and needs to respect you. But we're not talking about your husband, but about YOU doing something that is haram and which can result in you having extra marital relations with another man. You can't make your husband take responsibility for YOUR actions - it's YOUR choice to keep contact to men and use your husband as an excuse. If you have problems with your spouse, you need to stop turning to this Badri guy, or any other guy, and instead sit your husband down and talk to him about what's bothering you. Talk to your parents, to his parents...anyone but Badri and other guys like him, who want to wreck your marriage.
Sister, you chose to marry your husband, now you owe it to him to make an effort to make the marriage work. Stop making excuses to keep in touch with Badri, or other male friends. Look what good it does you.
ASSALAM O ALAYKUM, NAHMADUHU WA NUSALLI ALA RASLIHIL KAREEM AMMA BAAD.
No matter how your relationship gone wrong between you and your husband you cant have alibi of having male friends . (NO female and male can be friends ever if they are attractive and young ) .
Remember are you all the time abiding to Allah swt ? Nay.. despite of that is allah swt not by your side , not giving you food etcc.. ??? So even if your husband is not showing his responsibility towards you ,, It doesnt mean you should have an extra marital affair ..Because you are not submitting your will to the will of Allah swt.. Are you showing your responsibility towards your husband NO.. you are not thankful .. you are always complaining.BECAUSE YOU ARE FOLLOWING YOUR DESIRE AND YOU HAVE MAKE UP YOUR MIND TO LEAVE YOUR HUSBAND . REMEMBER THE VERSE IN QURAN WHERE IN ALLAH SWT SAID THAT in surah BAQARAH VERSE 221
// Do not marry unbelieving women until they believe. A slave woman who believes is better than an unbelieving woman, even though if she attracts you. And not marry (your girls) to unbelievers until they believe. A man slave who believes is better than an unbeliever, even though if he attracts you. Unbelievers do (but) beckon you to the fire but Allah beckons by His grace to the garden (of bliss) and forgiveness, and makes His signs clear to mankind; that they may receive admonition//
If you have problem FIRST ASK YOUR SO CALLED BADRI TO CONVERT . AND AFTER SPENDING SUFFICIENT AMOUNT OF TIME BEING A MUSLIM THEN YOU SHOULD THINK ABOUT MARRYING HIM ..
YOU CANT MARRY SOON AFTER HE REVERTS BACK TO ISLAM.
YOU KNOW WHAT.. you are really naive.. if any man take care of a women. take care of her likes and dislike , pampers him she gets bowled over him ..FIRST AND FOREMOST YOU ARE WRONG TO HAVE A RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM AND YOU ARE IN GRUDGE TO NULLIFY A HALAL RELATIONSHIP AND WANT TO PROCLAIM A HARAM RELATION INTO HALAL
Badri doesnt need the help of your brother in law to become a muslim!!!He simply can say the shahada himself!!!if he truely belives in Allah and the final messanger sws then he already is muslim!!! how to pray salah and everything else he can lern after he doesnt need the help of your brother in law.i really do not understand what all this drama is about! you didnt mention if you married the first guy who wanted to accept islam?if you married him and he is a muslim you should stay with your husband and forget about Badri!He is a non maharam and as a muslim you shouldnt have any contact to him in the first place!
Dear Muslimgirl,
"badri was very frustrated and he himself started to searching some other sources through his friends circle and he gone to MARKAZ to know the procedure and from there he got the information and also MAULANA told him to come tomorrow with a BOND so that there will be some notarising process,"
but i am only told my brother in-law that badri going to markaz, the only it happen,
What was my intention is that convert procedure to be taken place in my families supervision, but that time i am unaware of my brother in-laws intention,
and not only he is willing to do this for marriage, as i told he is in practicing this from his 7 years old,
he don't have vary in caste,
ASSALAMSLSIKUM-DEAR EDITORS PLS PUBLISH THIS REPLY FOR THE SAKE OF ALLAH-
Aliya.
I THINK YOU HAVE BEEN LIVING A LIFE OF UNISLAMIC GIRL DUE TO DISOBEDIENCE OF ALLAH AND JOIN WORK WHERE THERE ARE MANY MALES AND YOUR FREE LOVE CAN BE COVERTED INTO A HINDI MOVIE AND SET AN EXAMPLE FOR ALL THE MUSLIMS GIRLS TO LIVE A HARAM LIFE IN WHOLESALE-
WHAT ARE YOU THINKING YOU ARE SOME SPECIAL CREATURE IN MUSLIMS-
YOU LIVE YOUR WHOLE YOUTH IN THIS DISGUSTING ATMOSPHERE STARTING WITH ALL THE NAMES OF NON MUSLIM SO FREELY WITH SO MUCH OF GUTS TO REVEAL A UNISLAMIC RELATIONSHIP AND MAKING FRIENDS AND MINGLING MOVING FALLING IN FALLING OUT OF LOVE DISCUSSIONS MEETINGS AND ALL AS IF THIS IS A VERY PIOUS JOB YOU ARE DOING AND ALSO A VERY GREAT FAVOUR ON ISLAM AND OVER ALL MUSLIMS WITH THE TYPE OF CHEAP RELATIONSHIPS[SAYING HE IS WILLING TO CONVERT HE IS REFUSING WHAT DO THINK IS ISLAM FOR YOU-DO YOU THINK ISLAM IS SO CHEAP THAT YOU MAKE IT A LAUGHING STOCK IN THE MIDST OF THE NON MUSLIMS WORK PLACE AND THE FAMILIES WHO ALL HAVE BEEN INCLUDED TO AGREE FOR ONE PERSON TO MARRY THIS SPECIAL MUSLIM QUEEN-
YOU MUST ASHAMED TO HAVE USED THE HIGHLY SANCTIFIED NAME OF ISLAM IN THIS MANNER WHEN THE WHOLE WORLD IS REVERTING TOWARDS ALLAH AND ISLAM-
YOU ARE PLAYING WITH IT-
SEEING FROM OPPOSITE SIDE TOWARDS YOUR WHOLE AFFAIR AND THE WHOLE SUBJECT IT LOOKS SO DISGUSTING TO EVEN THINK A MUSLIM GIRL CAN FALL SO LOW AND USE ISLAM IN EVERY TURN AND EVERY CORNER OF LIFE-
I AM WRITTING THE ABOVE WORDS SO THAT THE PEOPLE IN THE FORUM MAY KNOW THAT ISLAM IS NOT OUR PARENTS PROPERTY TO USE IT IN THIS WAY ON THE ROADS AND NON MUSLIM ATMOSPHERE AND SURROUNDINGS WE ARE RESPONSIBLE TO GIVE OUR DEEN MORE RESPECT AND KEEP IT IN THE RIGHT POSITION BECAUSE WE ARE BORN MUSLIMS WE ARE NOT ANY SPECIAL PEOPLE TO PLAY WITH IT LIKE YOU GAVE HAS BEEN PLAYING-
AND THE MOST ATTRACTIVE PART IS SHE ASKS US IF SHE CAN CONTINUE PLAYING WITH THE RULES OF MARRIAGE BY LEAVING THIS PERSON AND NOW WANT TO JUMP TO ANOTHER PERSON -
AS AMY TOLD -You are asking yourself "what makes me happy" instead of "What does Allah expect me to do in this situation"
SO STOP YOUR JOB LEAVE THIS NON MUSLIM CIRCLE WHOM YOU ARE LIVING TILL NOW AND STOP INTERACTING WITH THAT DRUNKRD BADRI LEAVE EVERYTHING TO ALLAH AND WAIT FOR HIS DECISION AND SEE ALLAH WILL OPEN SOME WAY OUT-
BUT THE WAY YOU ARE PLAYING WITH ISLAM MAKES OUR BLOOD BOIL AND IMAGINE WHAT ALLAH MIGHT BE THINKING ABOUT YOU AND WHAT PUNISHMENT IS IN STORE FOR YOU IF YOU CONTINUE THIS DRAMA AND THE ANGEKS ARE SHOOTING WHEN ALLAH WILL SHOOT YOU DOWN ALLAH KNOWS BEST-
UNISLAMIC APPROACH- UNWANTED JOB UNWANTED SEX UNWANTED MALES UNWANTED MINGLING UNWANTED FUTURE ......
AND THE GREATEST OF ALL THE DIRE CONSEQUENCES YOU WILL FACE WHEN ALLAH DECIDES TO IMPOSE PUNISHMENT FOR YOUR WHOLE MATTER AND THE LIFE STYLE AND THE BAD EXAMPLE YOU PRESENTED TO THIS GOOD FORUM OVER ALL EDITORS AND THE READERS YOUNSGTERS AND OLD ALIKE
NOW REPENT AND PONDER ON THE UNWANTED LIST ABOVE I MENTIONED TO GET BACK YOUR IMAN WHICH WILL BE CLOSE TO ALLAH FOLLOW WHAT HE HAS DIRECTED IN SHARIAH AND SAVE YOUR SELF YOU ARE 28 YEARS AND U ARE NOT SOME 14 YEARS INSENSIBLE HIGH SCHOOL GIRL.
SORRY TO SAY THIS MORNING BECAME DISGUSTED AFTER GOING THROUGH YOUR PAGE WHICH MAKES AN ORDINARY MUSLIM ALSO VERY DISTURBED AND THAT HAPPENED TO ME NOW-
REGARDS
Dear Brother Ali Yousuff,
Thanks for the reply and i request you to please go through the post once again, this is my humble request, i think you are forgetting something in my post,
UNISLAMIC APPROACH- UNWANTED JOB UNWANTED SEX UNWANTED MALES UNWANTED MINGLING UNWANTED FUTURE ......
I have done any unislamic approach i just afraid of my husbands behavior, Unwanted job?? we were very poor in the past and due to my job my family turned into a stable, Unwanted SEX?? sorry i haven't sone anything like that, Unwanted males?? Badri was the only person who helped me in my mothers bone surgery and he helped me to get claim foe the same also, Unwanted mingling??? I ahve never approach to marry non-muslim, Unwanted FUture??? because i have seen my husband character in four months periods, and even all the family members are suggesting that my husband is not good for long term,
Thank you
ASSALAMAIKUM-
ALIYA PLEASE DONT BE OFFENDED I HAVE NO RESERVATIONS WHEN IT COMES TO ISLAM AND THE VALUE OF ISLAM DEVASTATED N THE HUNDU CIRCLES & GROUPS-
IN THIS FORUM YOURS IS IS THE WORST CASE OF START TO FINISH HARAM APPROACH AND ENDING IN ZINNA [MARRIAGE WITH A HINDU]
I WILL ANSWER EACH OF THESE-PLEASE BE PATIENT-AND ALL YOUR DEEDS HAVE SHATTERED ISLAM IN THE HINDU CIRCLES AND MADE A LAUGHING STOCK IF IT WOULD HAVE BEEN A MUSLIMS COUNTRY YOU WOULD HAVE BEEN PUNISHED AS PER SHARIAH-
1]UNISLAMIC APPROACH-
HE WAS HELPING YOU IN ALL YR NEEDS OFFICIAL & DOMESTIC WHICH IS HARAM AS THIS ONLY BROUGHT YOU CLOSE [COMPASSION]TO A NON MOHRIM HINDU PERSON.
2]UNWANTED JOB-YOU NEEDED THE JOB YOU COULD HAVE KEPT UPTO IT STRCTLY.
3]UNWANTED SEX YOU MARRIED A HINDU WHICH IS AGAIN HARAM AND THAT IS 1000%ZINNA
UNWANTED MALES-YOU FREELY MAKE FREINDS WITH AND SANDESH/BADRI ETC ETC AS IF THEY ARE SOME CLOSE FAMILY RELATIVES AND COUSINS OR MEMBERS OF YOUR FAMILY-
UNWANTED MINGLING-
BECOMING SO CLOSE &HARAM RELATION WITH HINDU MALES AND ALSO ORGANISING TRAINING B4 CONVERSION GOING ON AND ON TILL FINALLY YOU LIVE WITH A HINDU PERSON STUDY HIS NATURE AGAIN WANT TO JUMP TO ANOTHER HINDU OPTION-
UNWANTED FUTURE-WHAT IF PERSON GAINS THE WHOLE WORLD AND LOOSES HIS OWN SOUL-
YOU HAVE LOST ALL YOUR GREAT LUCKY MUSLIM FAMILY BIRTH FECILITY-WHICH HAD SO MUCH SANCTITY & HIGH ESTEEM AND ALL THE PLEASURES OF THIS WORLD AND THE NEXT AND THE PLEASENT SWEETNESS OF ISLAMIC WOMAN AND TO BECOME A GREAT MOTHER SISTER A PIOUS WIFE A MARY A HAZRATH KHADEEJA A HAZRATH AISHA A AFTIMA ETC ETC WHO HAVE UPLIFTED ISLAM IN THEIR LIVES SET AN EXAMPLE IN THE WORLD-
AND YOU HAVE DEGRADED ISLAM WITH YOUR FREE WILL FREE LOVE FREE PERMISSION FROM YOUR PARENTS FREE ENTERTAIMENT OF BADRI IN YOUR MOTHERS ILLNESS-
WHAT NOT YOU HAVE DONE AND NOW WANT TO DEFEND-
SORRY AGAIN I REPEAT ISLAM IS NOT OUR FAMILY PROPERTY TO USE[IN KUFFAR CIRCLES]AND THROW AND MAKE IT A LAUGHING STOCK NO VERY VERY SORRY ALLAH WILL NOT FORGIVE FOR THE WHOLE AFFAIR YOU PLAYED IN THE NAME OF ISLAM.
YOU REPENT AND COME TO YOUR SENSES-
REGARDS
I agree with brother ali but one thing.....She didn't marry a Hindu man.
"First i met Mr, Sandesh (Non-Muslim) and after Mr. Badri (Non-Muslim) then i married to Muslim guy who is my current husband,"
ASSALAMALAIKUM
DEAR EDITORS I WAS SO HAPPY TO SEE MY REPLY PUBLISHED I THINK YOU HAVE REAL VALUE OF ISLAM AND ITS STATURE AND ETHICS MAY ALLAH BLESS YOU ALL FOR THE EFFORTS IN THIS AWARENESS PROGRAMME http://www.zawaj.com/askbilqis/
REGARDS
ALI YOUSUFF-
Assalamu Alaykum,
Respected brother in islam so boldly written nice to know it, I want to ask some doubt in connection with my life. But nothing is wrong like anything . I want you to answer my question brother please do the need ful. Basically I am very far from this internet I dont know how to post my question. I am just learning now. Already I posted once it was not worked out.
Please reply here only or else tell me the procedure to write a question to you brother
Stop the drama, sister.
Stick with your husband by all means. Based on what you told us, your husband is an honest and good man except now you made him feel uncomfortable and jealous by talking with Badri (who is haram for you in the first place). Anyways, Badri is crazy. You cant honestly say its a good decision to put your life in the hands of someone who acts based soley on their feelings. What if one day in the future he "feels like" beating you? Sister, we care for your safety and well being here, so please try to work it out with your husband. Mr. Badri will eventually get over you and move on when he knows he cant get your attention by pulling suicidal stunts. Your time is more important than rushing to the hospital for a haram man. Stay and stengthen your relationship with your halal husband, and build a stable environment for your baby!!
Hello Shereen,
Ok, please try t understand, this is not a drama, i don't mean to entertain with such issue,
I am ready to stick with my husband but on what basis, because he is changing his decisions three times in day, even i am now with mother's place, still he is saying that better you file a case on badri or else no need to come back to his home,
now my question is what difference make if i file the case o badri???? on what basis he is dong this why he is and his family???
What if one day in the future he "feels like" beating you? Sister, we care for your safety and well being here
No Shereen you are not here to help me because my husband already beated me, and this has been infromed to badri by me and my sister then he felt bad, one more thing as i given in my post badri was punched his hand to footpath, that was my mistake even he don't beat me because every time he used fight against them who are beating girls or their women's, now i told my husband if your sister got beaten by your brother in-law then what will you do? surprisingly the answer was i do nothing, even i came to know that his sister beaten by her husband and lose her conscious for a hour or half an hour,
is this call husband and their responsibility towards her women and sister or family members,
Badri has no rights to go against my husband that's why he just sitting with his folding hands, i have not been anything to badri even he respect all my family members and all other girls, even my colleague used to tell me if somebody has raised hand on you then badri will be there and the person should cope to badri, because himself he don't do that,
Mr. Badri will eventually get over you and move on when he knows he cant get your attention by pulling suicidal stunts. Your time is more important than rushing to the hospital for a haram man. Stay and stengthen your relationship with your halal husband, and build a stable environment for your baby!!
Yes its true, because i haven't visited him in hospital, but he always tell me to get treatment if i got weak in my pregnancy, he used to insist to take a food in time to time and used to send me weekly updates to me for my first and second trimester reports, and along with tips as well, then why My husband is not ding this????
Please and thanks
Salaam,,sister....
i hav a question for u 'who was the one made the first mistake?'.you do know the answer that that's u and Badri.no matter what the situation is but u r never allowed to b friend with nin-mahram. i repeat that u r no how permitted to make friendship with a non-mahram before your marriage. i m sorry to say but sister i m afraid that u will be severely punished for making friendship with Badri.remember that Badri once rejected u when u said u want to marry him. y did he do so?and y is he after go ruin your marriage and to hurt your lawful husband.besides that u commited another sin by replying him that h want marry him.alsi u said u used to talk to bim before marriage and after marriage also he used to advise u about your trimester,,,this is very much unfortunate,to share such private things with a stranger , as a muslim women.just make sure that u know that the first mustake was done by u and badri and your husband was no where there making mistake.so plz before u talk about your husband's mistake,beware of your mustake.besides that anyone will simply get jealous if his wife talks and cries for a strangerwhi his wife used to love.just replace your husband by u and imagine what u would feel like if your husband cries,talks about and concerns for a girl who he used to love just within the couple of days u were married.believe me sister it hurts like u hav been loaded with all the sorow o the world.but yes he did have done something more than he should have by blaming u.but my humble request plz think from your husband's point.to err us human nature so its not obvious that he will be like our prophet (saws) but what u did is not normal.nad do u know children r bound to take care of their parents even if they commit shirk but its not obligatory for a husband to take care of a who cares fir someone else even talks to him just after marriage..so plz plz repent for what u did and then live a life like a muslim what out Allah wants our prophet told us to..get over Badri and stick to your duties towards your hubby and in laws if still u can not please them then y can take divorce bcz divorce can only be taken uc there r Halal reasons. but one thing,Among the permitted acts in islam,Allah hates divirce the most.although He made it Halah if there a vaid reasons.so it would be better if u stick to pleasing Allah and then your husband.mind you if u dont get over Badri and try to work your marriage from the boottom of your heart,Allah forbids,but u hav probably ruined your life after deatl along with your this temporary life..
practise Namaz,Rooza and all the obligatory Ibadah along with other Nafal Ibadah and hence seek forgiveness from Allah.after that you should try to love your husband.at first u wont be able but do it against your will for the sake of Allah.And do think practically islamically amd try to remember your sins and cry... Insha'Allah u will overcome your past and focus n your marital life so as to please Allah.
one more thing,,cinverting to right path should not be due to be with someone.Rather than it must be to please Allah..
Dear advice,
i mean to say that he Mr. Badri used to tell me about the development of pregnancy in trimisters, i don't mean to meet him or ask him to provide the reports,
he just get a information from the internet and forward to me for my knolwdge,
i have given my attension to my husband, there no dbout in that,
please i am in very much confusion that everybody blamming on me, and taking litly to my husband, there must be some of some resposiblities he must have, but why don't he,
why Mr. Badri used to do it for me. ok i agree that he loves me, but what about other peoples he has done many things for many peoples, social works and much more, he just specially cares me, and even he never express to me, just its behavoir explains everything,
you are asking about friendship with non-muslim, i think this is going something wrong,
have ever get sick or admited in hospital?? you may, right, but in asia we have several caste, when my mom met with an accident we never thought about the taxi driver whether he is from same caste or not, while going to hospital we never thought that this road has been made by musli person, after admiting in hospital we never thought is the muslim guy/doctor who is going to treat my mo, why we don't think, i'll tell you because its urgency, is this right to forget all the facts when reach to urgency????
YOu heard about respeting women in ISLAM, why my husband is not doing and why Mr.Badri is doing, you know one thing when Mr.badri used to go to Maszid he used to listen Quran Shariq information and used to apply in his life, that's why he is so popolur and know by every person and fervorite of all,
please you are going out of track, sorry if i wrong,
Aliya
u said Badri used to help u although u did not seek help from him.my ques. to u is that who the heck is he to u to help u???is he a doctor,one of your family members???onviously,not..another ques. did your hubby reject your help when he asked??? did u consult your family members to help u?did u consult a doctor ???i know u did not,ateast before u comsulted doctor u accepted Badri's help.another ques. did not u know that hom helping u is gonna burt your husband??did u not have other options???
oh,you boy!!!dont say that u did all these and after that u went to seek help fr Badri,if u did then u did have options other than Badri..therr r thousands of doctors..amother. ques. did u firbic Badri go help u bcz u had many other options like doctors.believe me sister my body is shivering upon your neglectence towards u deeds and badri's
by the way ,i did not underlooked you hubby's deeds.i request to read my post again.. Badri used to help u bcz he loved u.y did not u forbid him as u had thousands of options to seek help..baides that the urgency u talked about is a valid issue.'A woman used disturb our prohet (saws) when he used to go to mousque but one day that lady did not do anything which made prophet (swas) worried and then he went to check on her'. this indicates that its valid to help non-mahrams in such needs.you r not like that u did have options other than Badri,right??..
badri loved u and so he helped u.would he do it if u were not familiar with just for the sake of Allah??no sister be would not..he did kniw that helping u would cause u love dor him,,make your hubby hurt..in that case be did a grave sin so did u.just because you hubby also blameable that does not mean that u will not be punished.si focus in ur sins then talk about others'.when he proposed u at first u rejected him,right? then what made u thunk that u can carry friendship with him whi has already proposed u and what made u think that he would not take it into another level.look he did so.he is do shrwed that u could not realise that he blackmailimg u emitionally.its not that just bcz u hubby is also blame worthy ,y would neglect your sin.he will have to pay for what he did.but it is not like'"Your Sins-your hubby's sins= zero"'.is it? and what u r telling about Badri,just keep it apart bcz he has nothing to do with u,anymore.yes if u can help him be a muslim but for Allah not yuo..
so the conclusion is,,regadless the information u did nit mention,u hav no options to do the following things...
(1) repent to Allah for having a friendship with Badri.
(2) repent for bieng in relationship with badri,mo matter y and how,,its all Haram bcz u did hav other options to seek help.repent for whatever u did..
(3) focus on your marital life according to islam.first it would be difficult but do naamaz and all the obligatory works and do also nafal ibadah...try to love hubby for Sake of Allah... listen ti him,,cooperate with him and love him from the bottom if your heart..
believe me sister,,if u try to work your marriage dor the sake of Allah then one day in future u will regret of choosing your hubby...but most important thing Badri has no place anywhere nearer to u...
******did u think from your husband's point of view that how does it feel when you r given less care and love and he lovea another girl"""****
the final solution i can give u is""do Ishtikaara""but i warn u sister that the Niyaath should have nothing to do with other than if your hubby is blameworthy more than u or less than u""".i repeat u must not have a Niyaath like is it better to go to badri or stay with your hubby..i mind u again badri should be kicked off your life.dont mention Badri in your prayer..look i m teling u again and again that that would be grave sin....
u must talk to a maulana regarding this matter..may b im wrong about doing Ishtikaara but i do know there should not be any haraam niyath..
may Allah perdon my mistake and guide u,,Amen.
Assalamualaykum Sister,
Inshallah you will be reading this message in good health. I am a muslim convert and Alhamdullilah everything is well with me, my family and friends. When I converted last year there are lots of changes in my life particularly my behaviour and attitude towards people. Also, my conversion leads me to a calm and peaceful life. I continue learning more about Islam and Mashallah I know from the bottom of my heart that I did the right choice. Islam is a wonderful and beautiful religion it gives you direction in life if you will also be doing your part. WIth every decision in your life you need to offer prayers to Allah Subhanawatallah follow His rules and what he said in the Holy Quran and He will make everything easy for you if you just trust HIM. Guide your husband, be a good muslim and I know if you do that he will be touch by your character and maybe one day he will go back towards Islam.
I know and understand how you feel but remember to before you make a decision, you need to also assess yourself. Give yourself a time to think and weight your decisions, being married is an amazing thing if you truly invest your time, effort, love and patience. Go sit down with your husband which Allah blessed you. Talk to him and listen to what he says. Our responsibility as a woman and for you as muslim wife is to continue loving your husband despite of his flaws and one day in Jannah you will be rewarded. Time is short sister you need to make each day of your life worth it! Inshalah.
Assalamualaykum.
Regards,
Maryam
Assalamu alaykum sister Aliya,
Ask forgiveness to Allah for speaking to this non- mahram boy, Even if he is came from heaven he is non- mahram we are not permitted to talk with him, We all good islamic women and we all queens of islam we should never speak with non- mahram boy . spend your time in ibadats to get peace and sit and speak with you husband with love and care. inshaAllah he will change. live happilly with your husband in islamic way. Get attach with ALLAH by following all the rules of islam and submit your life to ALLAH.
Wassalam
assalamualaikum dear sister...
first of all think of u sister..u r a muslim(submitting ones will to allah subhanahu wa taála ..) following our huzoor sunnah) ...when u r doing this perfectly u would have never come across through these all situations... u were misguided by the shythan when u were in office starting friendship with male guys that lead to this...
comming to the point ..Allah SWT will test everyone through health ,wealth,family,childern n so on...
it doesnt mean that u r in great trouble... for better understanding i would like to give u a example..as u know
It is haram(strictly prohibited) to have pork(haram) in islam ...now u are starving for 3 days without food without water..just laying down in a place where u dont even find a single creature...suddenly a man comes with food of pork..seeing u in that condition he offers u and requests u,plead u to eat the food...he says that it will not harm u it will give u energy n makes u happy...so now my question is WILL U EAT PORK??????????
no my dear sister u will not eat because u have come through a family which teaches u abt our islam...what our allah swt has said to us...
so now who knows that ur loving badri who is haram to be married will make u happy..!!! if he would have changed in islam he would have done it very soon after getting thought that he likes u...
if u r married to a muslim i recommend u to stay with him.sort out things with him...if not pray to allah swt.." He is the Most Compassionate, the Most Merciful" dua can change a lot my dear sister...
In a Hadith narrated by Abu Hurayrah, the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said, “In the court of Allah, there is no greater thing than Duaa” (Ibn Majah)
No husband would like to see her wife being loved by some other guy n her wife has feelings for him...think for while that ur husband loved some other girl and still he talks n cares her beside u though he has no feelings for her...u may not tolerate sister..so sometimes it needs to have understanding between u n ur husband than being right...give true love to ur husband and inshaallah sure u will get true love of ur husband..
may be allah is testing u but plz my dear sister follow the path of islam....FEAR ALLAH TO WHOM U SHALL BE BROUGHT BACK..(AL QURAN ,58:9)
Dear bismillah,
walaikum assalam,
My elder sister saying that i rejected a ture love from the person like Mr.Badri who is having the equal respect for the all religons, that's why i am suffering this,
even in these days when called Mr. Badri to share anything he used to tell me what can i do, but what i want to do is something defirent, but even Mr. Badri is the only guy who can do this possible to send me back to my husband's place, but he is jus waiting for my decision,
in yesterday's discussion with my family, they told me to tell Mr. Badri to leave a city, and the same i have innformed to him even he asked me you tell me Aliya, if you want to go the i will go,
just observe one thing why Mr. Badri is doing for me?? even left the city and leave his parents here only,
Sorry i am turned to vegiterian, because Mr. Badri also a vegiterian and he never used to eat non-veg, this is good thing, it is not good only not eating PORK even any animal we should be not, in this regards he also given good information to me,
Animal's like Lion, Tiger, Wolf, fish, rat, cat, dog, etc, they eat meat without fry or without cook, and they are just hunting their animals and eat them its their nuture, but being a human we kill the animals (not hunting) and fry them cook them and then eat them, does it make any sence?????
tell me what the differnece between us and animals????
we can't live without eating meat???? or eating vegiterian food???? we know but still we used to do that, he also attended IZTIMA's and there he has raised some questions where the situation got silint,
we know the five pillars of our religon, and the third one is Charitable giving
when Mr. Badri gone to my brother in-law place to discuss about the procedure about convertion there my brother inlaw saw one begger near by MASZID, when begger begged for the Charity he shouted on her and even single coin given her, but Mr.Badri used to empty his pocket if don't need of money (if having extra money) and this as been witnessd my me and lot more people, even the begger himself bcakout if badri used to give money to them,
while giving charity you must be honor them, i have learnt this from Mr.Badri and ISLAM as well,
The giver must declare to God his intention to give the zakāt
thank you....!!!
Aliya
Sister,I think you should contact a scholar that will be the best advice from me. Non of us normal poster really understood your actual problem it will led to an argument and fight.
Dear Nadia,
i am totally got frustrate, because i have my 100% to my husband and their family, even they are behaving like this,
nobody is talking about my husbnad and their family activities, why ????
i am not here to fight, i am just giving information so that you can think on it and suggest me with full study,
thank you Nadia,
Aliya
Asalamoalaikum Dear Sister Aliyah,
I can sense that you are having a difficult time and hence you wrote in to us. Brother and sisters let’s try to be empathic of our sister’s situation. She has deviated from the right path but her writing to us here on IA shows that she wants guidance and we need to help her out instead of claiming her post is fake or accusing her of being a bad wife.
First and foremost dear sister, most of the problems in your life right now are due to the haram choices you made in the past (i.e., intermingling with these non-mehram men). Any sort of relation with the opposite gender in Islam is strictly forbidden for various reasons, one of which is the consequences you are facing. Regardless of your relationship with your husband you need to cut all ties with these other non-mahram men (e.g., Badri), period. At this moment in time you need to focus on yourself and your relationship with Allah swt. Even the relationship with your husband should be secondary. If you aren’t doing so already, start offering your daily salat and ask Allah swt for forgiveness and guidance. You need Him in your life. You are clearly misguided because you have lost your connection with your creator so your second step after cutting all connection with these non-mahram men should be repairing your relationship with Him.
Secondly, I am very worried to hear that your husband has abused you. Regardless of whatever you have done (even if his reason for beating you was because you were in contact with Badri) he has no right to harm you. You need to get your parents involved as soon as possible. With the elders being the mediators, you need to lay down some very clear boundaries in your relationship and let him know that you will not tolerate any form of abuse. At the same time you need to apologize to your husband for hurting him by being in contact with these non-mahram men. Explain to him that you realize you are absolutely in the wrong and you want to change for that better. With the same token inform him that you also want him to be more understanding, loving and supportive of you. Let him know that you want this marriage to work only if he is willing to change (and you are as well). However, if he lays a hand on you again you are absolutely justified to leave him. In Islam it is haram to abuse your spouse and these can be valid grounds to seek divorce. I am not recommending that you divorce him but I can sense that you are deviating towards these other men because your relationship with your husband is unhealthy and strained. My dear sister, do not use this as an excuse to go on the wrong path, instead use this opportunity to strengthen your relationship with Allah swt. Give your marriage one last try after you have spoken to your husband with your parents being the mediators. In addition, make it clear to your husband that you have cut Badri out of your life and you want nothing to do with him. That means you do not want to go to court and file anything against him, you literally want to cut him out of your life as if he never existed and he needs to be mature enough to accept this.
From there onwards work hard with your husband to please him. If you are unhappy about something discuss it with him, please do not cross the line of loyalty and seek to fill your void by conversing with other men. It won’t help. If you feel your husband is not willing to change his ways and doesn’t seem keen in improving your marriage after you’ve sincerely repented, then perhaps you can look into other avenues (such as separation for a while so you both clear your minds, and if even that does not work, then unfortunately divorce would be your last option). But I must caution you sister, do not seek divorce with the intention of marrying the other man (Badri). Allah swt is well aware of your intentions and this will backfire at you because He is the controller of hearts. You need to take the right steps for yourself and think of what will be bring you closer to Allah swt and earn His happiness.
I pray that Allah swt gives you hadayat and blesses your marriage with happiness and tranquility, ameen.
-Helping Sister
assalamalaikum
seeing this [ "my Badri" ]many times then i tuaght tht the ethics which are needed in muslim girl lack here and i dint answera any
COMMENTS THERE ONWARDS-
WHAT IS THE USE WHEN A PERSON FROM THE START DISOBEYS ALLAH AND STARTS WORKING IN SUCH AN ATMOSPHERE AND LAND UP IN THE LAP OF ONLY HINDUS FRENDS AND ALLAH KNOWS BEST HOW FREELY THE LUNCHES TEA SESSIONS AND BIRTHDAY PARTIES TOOK PLACE WHICH ALLAH MAY HAVE NOT LIKED AND MAY BE THE SITUATION TODAY IS THE FRUIT OF YESTERDAYS DOINGS-
REGARDS
yes brother u r right..may allah bless u... nowadays alhamdulillah kids are obeying things of islam without any questions...
Dear All,
Let me explain most of thing which you are just missunderstood,
1. Mr. Badri is a very good friend of mine and others also,
2. I have spoked him just once and that too he was in very bad condition, ( He never called untill i had, he know the value of marriage relation)
3. My Husband is asking to file a case on Mr. Badri, (why??)
4. I had been told by husband if i am not filing a case then he will divorce me (is this a right path??)
5. Mr. Badri had long talk with My husband and explained that there is nothing to take serious and please don't unjustice with Aliya, even he told my husband that he will leave this city if the problen occured because of him,
6. what my husbands question he asked infront of everyone??
7. My husband started asking me divorce when i came to my mothers place that too with his permission, then where was Badri's mistake?
8, After a long discussion my husband is not to accept or understand anything of my feeling, even all people are asking to be with him, understand him, explain him and do this and that, why a single movement he is not listing to me?
9. for most importanat thing is you all telling me to be hoonest with, which i still doing, and asking to be with him and will get jannat at the END, tell me till then what i do? suffer, get mentally harreshment by husband?? is this call justice??
10. i am from india, ok there is law call section call 498A, this something put my husband and his amily in very big trouble, but i am not doing this just because Mr. Badri told me to not to do, orelse they will hurt ver badly,
11. I can file case onn my inlaws by what they are doing, because i litterly getting frusted by their conduct towards a Badri (Non-muslim)
So dear all please just don't study, try to have a deep study, just being a human my brother, sister and badri helpping me, but being my husband why he don't???
one waste thing i have done with badri is next day of marriage i called badri and told i am very happy that i got mann which i diserve, badri told me its very good aliya, i just want you to be happy, nothing else, but now these days iam realising that he is not my man, i was really done wong with badri,
Allah, please forgive me and bless with a good life, because i had sincerly been with my husband and now they are going in wrong path, Aamen suma aamen
thanks and please go through the all post and comment,
aliya
Salaams,
Aliya, I'm going to speak a little bluntly, but only because I want to be clear in spite of the very obvious language barriers.
You say you only talked to Badri once, but everything else you've said contradicts that.
Aliya, you are being stubborn. You want to present more information thinking we will give you a different response, and tell you that talking to Badri is OK, or wanting to be with him is OK. That's not going to happen. Nothing you add to the story is going to change the basic facts of the matter, or the correct thing for you to do at this point.
As far as this "case" your husband wants you to take against Badri, I have no clue what on earth you're talking about...and I suspect none of our other readers do either.
You keep asking why your husband doesn't act caring, or doesn't do all the things that Badri does. Why are you comparing your husband to someone else? Do you not believe in Allah? Do you not believe that if Allah felt it was best for you to be with someone else, that's who you would've wound up with? You are clearly not looking at your circumstances through the eyes of iman, but through the eyes of your nafs and desires. You think you understand best what's going on, and are trying to convince all of us that we "aren't getting it". But right now, there are about a dozen posters on the side of the fence saying let this obsession with Badri go, and you are the only ONE person trying to fight to hang on.
Common sense will tell you that you are the one who is not seeing clearly, as you are blinded by your emotions.
-Amy
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
aliya is not being stubborn for her nays sister Amy. if you allow me I would like to point out a few things about this post that prove that all the confusion is purely created to mock the sincere advisors.
Sure, why not? I mean, I'm sure it's understood that we have to assume every post is genuine unless shown to be otherwise with clear facts. I think we had one about a year or so ago that someone said was basically the same events as a script for a Bollywood serial that was airing at the time, lol.
-Amy
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Hi,
yesterday i have sent my comments on this issue, but i don't know why it has been not published,
please be look into same and do the same needful,
Thanks
Gopi
Hi Gopi,
I deleted your comment because it was not Islamically appropriate. Thank you.
Abu Abdul Bari
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Just try to read the entire post. it is not just long because of unnecessary details but because the poster has added those details on purpose to confuse us. eg.
mentioning sandesh when this character has noting to do with her problem. also check the number of times Mr badri goes to meet her brother in law. for what reason he keeps going and coming back without seeing him is another mystery. this episode is deliberately made confusing and exhaustive to frustrate the reader. then check the name of badri's female friend. there is no such Indian name as Nid, besides why has she even mentioned her..is a good question. obviously the same to confuse the reader and frustrate him. then Mr badri breaks his finger on the footpath. Why would anyone do that? and most importantly how CAN anyone do that? this is some kind of cheap humor our troll has added. I can actually imagine him laughing while typing that.
also check the language. see how full it is of grammatical blunders. I'm not saying no1 can talk like that but check the same person's language when he first replies to brother Ali yusuf's comment.do u see the linguistic difference. smooth. well explained. then y is the post not like that?
Also there is another comment by the troll on bismilla's post. its about y she chose to become a vegetarian. just read the whole thing and tell me if its not an argument. see how the word Pork has been written in caps. it shows that the writer of the post wants to start an argument and is being very sarcastic.
I have read the whole thing and I still couldn't point my finger on what her problem was. as far as what Mr bandri's problem is or how her husband is harassing her or why Mr bandari is willing to leave his home his job and town for her, what is the role of her family in all of this and why is the post so misleading
I can tell that some stupid Hindu who comes frequently on this website has seen how sincerely people respond and get involved with the poster and has decided to waste our time and mock those who post their problems here and those who post advises.
this is nothing but a shallow joke by someone who never had a sense of humor.
Salaams,
I guess that's not outside the realm of possibility. I personally would've never looked at it that way because if you see some of the posts we get before we edit them for publication, they are as poorly written (or worse) as this one and require us to almost re-do the entire thing. There are a lot of people who write certain ways just because of the cultural/language barriers, so anything beyond that isn't on the forefront of our minds usually.
I think in any case this post needs to be closed to further comments because I can't imagine there would be anything meaningful that could be further added to what's already been said by both the OP and her respondents.
-Amy
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
I agree. There really isn't a question that is posed -- and advice is followed up with either denial (contradicting previous comments) or more silly unneeded details from the OP.
Ya Allah,,,
now i am made seek help bcz upon hearing the one sided thinking of "respected sister Aliya" ,i got fed up..
sister Aliya u hav already kind of decided to take divorce,marry Badri,ignore sins of u and Badri,making your hubby's mistake the only concern..I have replied u many times saying that u and Badri were the first ones to commit sins which made your husband commit sins..i am not saying that he did the right thing.ofcourse he will be punished for what he did but that does not compensate your sins.what actually compensates your sins is repentense for your sins,get over that home breaker so-called Badri,swear on Allah that u will not repeat it,act accordingly and work out your marriage.dont even think about who was more blameworthy bcz ,Allah forbids,your sins are enough to get u to hell...by the way,if u wanna calculate out the size of the sins of u and your hubby then your one dominates over your hubby's sins,,well u wont admit it bcz u t already destroyed by Shaytan and u r also erasing what is left to help u out..
******my kind and earnest request to the editor 'Abu Abdul Bari' thaf he delete this post bcz there is nothing else we can advise and i think everyone here will agree with me.as we r doing our best and sharing what we know but still the sister Aliya is not acting according ti Islam.her replies are all the same wheras we r giving explanation from every point if view we can afford..there is nothing elae we can advuse her and. ita upto her if or not to abide by..if im wrong then plz let me know*****
This post has been closed to further comments. Thank you all for your input.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor