Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Life has become extremely painful…

depressed girl woman

Asalamulaykum

I am a teenage Muslim female who has had enough of life. life has become extremely painful to even live. i know it's sacred but my tolerance has gone.

my family don't like me and when I was born my dad had a sexist perceptive of women and therefore he never accepted me. he never loved me. i tried, i promise, but now I can't even start a conversation with him because all he does is takes faults out of me and my actions. i can't even sit in the same room as him because we would end up having an argument. my mom panics a lot and because I have witnessed a lot of violence since I was small  the physical element doesn't hurt as much. ive been abused a lot in my childhood and therefore it now effects me mentally.

ive told my family that Islam isn't sexist or discriminative so why do u treat me like an outsider? also the tension of the arguments everyone had in the house made me want relief and I started cutting.

i got blamed for a lot of things I didn't even do. all I wanted is for someone to love me. why is it soooo hard. plz help me. btw these aren't my only reasons. it gets a lot more serious........

Ash0161

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6 Responses »

  1. Salam .Hold on first of all Islam is the only way of life that will be excepted from Allah .Regardless of your personal problems family problems worldly problems etc....Know this Allah created this world as a test for the humanbeing.Success is only in Obeying the commandments of Allah and following the teachings of prophet Muhammad. THIS IS THE REAL SUCCESS.BUT if we choose a life contrary to this then we will live a life of stress and hardship and so fourth.There are people who also have some good in them but lack the true belief for they are corrupted and I'll willed to there fellow humanbeings.Allah's Deen is pure and clean free from corruption.Allah has warned us that there is a devil who is always there present to cause mischief and whisper evil.That is why we muslims try to be with people who are learned or attached to mosque .Reciting quran has to many benefits to list but you should learn and read daily because Allah becomes your protector and friend.but don't miss Salah! To make along story short. DON'T WASTE TIME.Allah created it and only he knows when your time is up.So prepare yourself to meet him on that day.do not take this lightly because it will determine your real home in the hereafter.For your parents and familie.They will have to answer for themselves so don't feel down.SHAITAN loves this game so you can be a miserable wreck.Look read and listen to sura yaseen daily .You will see that you will feel content but the people around you will only say talk of foolishness because without remembering Allah then SHAITAN is actually talking.Nobody hasn't have anything good to say nowadays. I KNOW THIS FROM MY past LIFE AS A NON MUSLIM.

    • what are you talking about?? Hurting someone in any type of way isn't Islam. If anything she should try and leave the family.

  2. There's two things that could be going on in the dynamic of your father and these are just guesses but I've found these to be true in other families:

    1) The father doesn't know what to do with his daughter as she becomes a woman. He can't really hold her and kiss her like he used to because those lady parts are there now. So what these fathers do is distance themselves from the daughters and just drop their relationship. The daughter then feels like her dad doesn't love her when the real issue is the father has no idea how to show affection his daughter when she becomes a woman.

    2) When the father drops the relationship and doesn't talk as much he gives out all the advice that he hopes will improve the girl's life in one sitting. This advice comes out as criticism and the girl just feels like the father always puts her down.

    Now, to check if this is true, compare your life with your father before and after puberty. I personally don't know how to resolve this other than someone talking to the father and letting him know that his daughter, although now a woman, still needs affection as she did as a child. Other than that you could try covering up more to see if that helps. And sitting down and talking with him more and asking for talk time, like ask him to read the quran with you and explain it to you.

  3. Dear sister, tests from Allah is the way to increase our faith on him, I too crossed so many problems but I never give up on anything, now also I'm in the very hard days u can see my posts as well, but I completely put me into get closer to Allah swt, he's the only one with most merciful, all the trials are to purify us, be patient n keep very close Allah, never giveup, all will change one day. Ur father will love u, only advice is be very close to Allah, He can only ease our problems, tell ur problems to Him, be patient, n believe on Him. I'll definitely pray for u n don't feel that u didn't find a love, as a sister I truly love u n my prayers r always for u n pls pray 4 me

  4. dear sister,
    I know it is not easy ,may Allah help you in your future prospects.
    Don't tell your parents what islam tells you about family relations .Do for your parents ,what islam teaches you.Love and take care of your parents,as they are a blessing from Allah.It is easy to feel lost and disconnected from the world and your first instinct would be to separate yourself from it.This is definitely something you must NOT do.Firstly,Talk to your parents about your concerns as much as possible to find solutions, if available.Secondly find, a good,kind and religious group of friends which links you to Allah (SWT),where you can discuss all your various issues.Allah is Always with you and we as Muslim sisters are always here to encourage you in your efforts to strengthen your Iman.

  5. Asalamulaykum
    I am a teenage Muslim female who has had enough of life. life has become extremely painful to even live. i know it's sacred but my tolerance has gone.
    my family don't like me and when I was born my dad had a sexist perceptive of women and therefore he never accepted me. he never loved me. i tried, i promise, but now I can't even start a conversation with him because all he does is takes faults out of me and my actions. i can't even sit in the same room as him because we would end up having an argument. my mom panics a lot and because I have witnessed a lot of violence since I was small the physical element doesn't hurt as much. ive been abused a lot in my childhood and therefore it now effects me mentally.
    ive told my family that Islam isn't sexist or discriminative so why do u treat me like an outsider? also the tension of the arguments everyone had in the house made me want relief and I started cutting.
    i got blamed for a lot of things I didn't even do. all I wanted is for someone to love me. why is it soooo hard. plz help me. btw these aren't my only reasons. it gets a lot more serious........

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