My life is a mess, I wish even to die.
Asalaam aleykum,
I really need your advice and duas as well my life is a mess at the moment. I met this guy last year he promissed to marry me and everything he even come to my house to meet my mam. Everyone told him not to marry me, I don't know the reason now he wants us to break up.
On the other hand, my family members are giving me a hard time, they treat me so bad and all I do is cry to Allah I was going to give out sadaka of cement to a mosque near by to ask Allah to make my life happy again, please advice me my fellow muslims I wish even to die sometimes.
Thank you
latifa
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Assalamu alaykum Sister Latifa,
Just give yourself some free time. Think about the situation.
If he want's to break up - he will give all excuses. so leave His case to Allah. I do not think guys and girls like this should be given a second thought. Immediately leave the matter to Allah.
If while you met him, you fell in love with a non mahram man, than that is not right in Islam as well. It seems very bitter to hear, very direct and it seems as if this is some hardline Muslim reply. But believe me sister, falling in love and going mad in love for a person is something displeasing to Allah.
Allah created us to worship Him and all our efforts of life should be made remembering the Day of Qiyamah and the fact that we are created to worship Allah.
So read the Qur'an with translations, the beautiful names of Allah in it, think about His infite Power and how He is surrounding all things. Perform salaat on time, pray tahajjud, as many rakats you like 2 by 2 and lastly witr anytime before Fajr. Insha Allah this will help increase your iiman and focus on Islam and help you build up a strong connection with Allah ta'laa.
Alhamdulillaah you were going to give sadaqa which is good. But whatsoever you give, seek the pleasure of Allah in it and to fulfill the purpose with which He created us.
56. I created the jinn and humankind only that they might worship Me.
57. I seek no livelihood from them, nor do I ask that they should feed Me.
58. Lo! Allah! He it is that giveth livelihood, the Lord of unbreakable might. - Surah Zaariyaat.
Do other good deeds as well, helping the needy in the community, feeding of the poor (if any are there around) only for the sake of Allah. Insha Allah it will give you happiness and contentment in dunya and aakhirah.
8. And feed with food the needy wretch, the orphan and the prisoner, for love of Him,
9. (Saying): We feed you, for the sake of Allah only. We wish for no reward nor thanks from you;
10. Lo! we fear from our Lord a day of frowning and of fate.
11. Therefor Allah hath warded from them the evil of that day, and hath made them find brightness and joy - Surah Al Insaan.
If your family is treating you badly, bear with Sabr. This is all I can say. If you can try to make them understand Alhamdulillaah it would be nice if they understand you, if not keep Sabr and wait until another good proposal comes you way and Allah makes a way out for you, Insha Allah.
17. O my dear son! Establish worship and enjoin kindness and forbid iniquity, and persevere whatever may befall thee. Lo! that is of the steadfast heart of things. - Surah Luqmaan.
keep your trust in Allah, people hurt, people change over night, people lie, Allah does not do any of that to His grateful slaves who thank Him and trust Him. He keeps their trust the best. Allah is enough as a Trustee for the believers.
Make du'aa to Allah and live your life for him. I would like to share another post which I wrote to a few other people as well regarding love and why the consequences of love is this punishment.
Keep asking Allah for all good to come your way, Insha Allah it will come:
34. And He giveth you of all ye ask of Him, and if ye would count the bounty of Allah ye cannot reckon it. Lo! man is verily a wrong doer, an ingrate. - Surah Ibrahiim.
Sister, if you do good, surely Allah will not let your efforts go waste. So read my post carefully again, especially the verses of the Qur'an, see what message they have for you, try to grasp that message and put it in to practice, Insha Allah, the Guidance of Allah is the Best Guidance.
Do read the Qur'an with meanings much and I pray for you too, Insha Allah.
Salaam,
Your brother.
In Islam non mahram men and women cannot be in an intimate relationship without marriage . There is nothing like dating in Islam. If a person likes someone, no sin, get marriage proposed, Insha Allah if families agree, get married, if not, move on and never lose focus on Islam due to the person you "lost".
Also, this" I am madly in love with him" and " I can ado anything for her" and " I can die for him", all this so called "love" leads to "Shirk" or "polytheism", which is most hateful to Allah. It is an unforgivable sin if a person keeps on doing it without repentance. Now this " I am in love" is a state in which the guy/ girl becomes center of life instead of Allah. People begin to love that person more than they love Allah. They are ready to do anything for that person, but not for Islam or for the cause of Allah. Loving someone with the love which is due for Allah only is as just like associating a partner with Allah.
165. Yet of mankind are some who take unto themselves objects of worship which (they set as) rivals to Allah, loving them with a love like (that which is the due) of Allah (only) Those who believe are stauncher in their love for Allah, that those who do evil had but known, (on the day) when they behold the doom, that power belongeth wholly to Allah, and that Allah is severe in punishment! - Surah Baqarah.
The above verse is for idols, images, in greater sense but also human worship, etc, applies to all objects of worship which a person choses to love with the love which is due for Allah only.
Living life for him/her, he/she is my everything, I can't live without him/her, all these words should be for Allah, but contrarary to this, people use it for their "love". In their ignorance they do not understand what injustice, wrong deed and sin they are doing by adoring someone out of limits. Allah is not pleased with such acts. Yet among our Muslim youth today, guys and girls argue about "love" and "falling in love before marriage", they argue without knowledge. Satan stirs up desires in their hearts, they become attracted to someone and make that person their "goal of life" when Allah alone should be the Goal and these words should not come up in the mind of a Muslim. These are against Islamic principles.
162. Say: Lo! my worship and, my sacrifice and my living and my dying are for Allah, Lord of the Worlds. - Surah Al An'am.
And only Allah should be our focus, the goal of our life, to fulfill His purpose.
42. And that thy Lord, He is the goal; - Surah Najm
And we should not say " he/ she is everything for me", rather our mouths as Muslims should utter: Allah is my all.
38. And verily, if thou shouldst ask them: Who created the heavens and the earth? they will say: Allah. Say: Bethink you then of those ye worship beside Allah, if Allah willed some hurt for me, could they remove from me His hurt; or if He willed some mercy for me, could they restrain His mercy? Say: Allah is my all. In Him do (all) the trusting put their trust.
We should repent for falling in love before marriage. Even if we did not touch or do anything, repent for falling in love and turn to seek marriage quickly and if no marriage is happening then leave it and move on in life and hope for the best from Allah. Do not remain crying for guys and girls, I know it is hard when someobe leaves life like that, but over come it, hate the actions of our own hands which led to this suffering and repent to Allah. Instead, we should cry in fear of Allah and in hope of His Mercy.
Allah shows us a way to Paradise, to the Great Success, much better than worldly pleasures:
Surah 23. Al-Muminun
1. Successful indeed are the believers
2. Who are humble in their prayers,
3. And who shun vain conversation,
4. And who are payers of the poor due;
5. And who guard their modesty
6. Save from their wives or the (slaves) that their right hands possess, for then they are not blameworthy,
7. But whoso craveth beyond that, such are transgressors,
8. And who are shepherds of thee pledge and their covenant,
9. And who pay heed to their prayers.
10. These are the heirs
11. Who will inherit Paradise: There they will abide.
You have a way shown by Allah as a believer.
Guard your modesty, be humble in prayers, shun vain conversations - flirting/ meaningless talks on phone/ dating/ music/songs/poetry - anything which is fruitless in the sight of Allah.
So turn to Allah repentant and Seek His help. He knows you best and He alone will make it manifest at the right time what He has written in your destiny.
Turn to Allah in true repentance that the love was a mistake, ask Him to forgive you and send you way good proposals from which you can choose the best, Insha Allah the person who would be your life partner.
Do not worry, in ignorance of Allah laws we make mistakes and some times knowingly too, but be quick in repentance and Allah is the Forgiving, the Merciful. Seek His good pleasure.
You spent your time and effort after one person, and the result of your conduct was loss, now turn to Allah, with your time and effort and the result with be total profit, no loss and rewards in aakhirah from Allah.
Hope the advice helps.
Salaam,
Your brother.
As salamu alaykum, sister Latifa,
First of all, consciousness of what you have done wrong, true repentance and stop sinning, insha´Allah.
Try and strive to be your best, you need to improve the quality of your bond to Allah(swt), it is fine you do sadaka, but behind that you need strong foundations to help you to get out of all this mess stronger that you came in there. With this I urge you to strengthen your bond to Allah(swt), through your salat, reading the Quran, reciting the Names of Allah and His beautiful attributes.
Sister, your relationship with your parents is priority in your life as well as your family, try to heal all the wounds that you have pending with them, be loving, gentle, caring, respecful, treat them as you would like to be treated, ask them for forgiveness if you have done anything wrong to them, forgive yourself and forgive them for what they have done wrong to you, always with Allah(swt) guidance and help, insha´Allah.
Forgiveness will bring closeness to your family and would help you to heal all your wounds, insha´ Allah.
Remember this sister: Say: He is Allah, the One and Only! Allah, the Eternal, Absolute; He begetteth not nor is He begotten. And there is none like unto Him." (Qur'an, Surah Ikhlas)
All my Unconditional Respect,
María
IslamicAnswers.com Editor