Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I deserve better, so I wish to live in a separate flat

I am fed up

I'm stayin wid my husband, his parents, bro in law and sis in laws husband...sis in law is in home country and she wil come soon and bro in laws wife, he's gona or might get divorced. my prb is stayin together, i feel so uncomfortable, i hav no privacy. i feel so difficult at heart.cud u temme a way to get out of tis difficlty.

my husband understands me nd insha Allah will chng d flat. bt til den i wana be strong enough so dat i don get depressed and wana b gd wid evryone howeva dey r to me.cud u help me? my in laws consider a girl as stuff who stays at home nd cook nd wash nd do household so his dad always tells me dat i dono anythn nd tels his daughter knows evrythn..

i get annoyed hearing dat. i know to look aftr a house very well bt wen evryoner dr, i dono wt to do... and im an engineer so wana go on continue wid my studies also, i dono wt to do.... jus help me... d only way i get comfort is i tel evrythn to my husband and he takes me out nd tels me don wory..... masha Allah i hav  him... jus help me.... dey say stayin together gives u al barkat wich i don belive...

and dey look aftr deir son in law soooo badly, in d sense my father in law is ready  to evn make fud fr him and for him daughter in law is jus a kitchen me

~ fhan

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2 Responses »

  1. Salam sis
    have patience n ur advantage is that ur husband is supportive ma sha ALLAH.the way ur father in law states it seems to me u shift to other country if u want to stay seperate as he might be hurt or else tell ur husband to explain them politely that u want to shift somewhere near n u ppl will always be around call eveyday atleast see them twice a week an all.

  2. There's no special barakah or blessing in living with relatives, unless one is living with his parents in order to take care of them in their old age. But in general, as a wife, you have a right to expect a residence of your own, for you and your family.

    If the problem is that your husband cannot afford a flat of his own, then let him know that you are willing to accept someplace very small and modest, just as long as it's separate. Don't frame it in terms of disliking your in-laws, but in terms of wanting to enjoy privacy with your husband.

    Let your husband know that this is important to you; and be patient until he can make it happen Insha'Allah.

    I think continuing your studies is a good idea as well, especially since you have no children yet.

    As a last note, have you noticed that your post has been up for a while but has received very few replies? People will not take the time to read a post that is written with very poor spelling like this. I personally found it difficult to understand. You are an engineer and you say you want to continue your studies, so I'm sure that you are capable of writing in proper English. Writing in proper English is better in every way. You come across as being intelligent and professional, and people can better understand your meaning.

    Wael Editor

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