Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Living Alone in Islam.

Asalam O Alaikum everyone ,

I am a 23year old boy facing different problems in my life, i have been very depressed since the last 6 or 5 years  going through anxiety and stuff. I just want to know can i remain single throughout my whole life, cuz I don't want to get married. My life is a complete mess its like l am the bad luck of my self everytime i think of something  stupid things starts happening, i went into 3 relationship and all 3 went down i didn't do anything sexual or any kind of stupid stuff nor i didn't hurt them in anyway but still i got neglected now a days i started to like a girl (who lost her Father) she is a old school mate of mine (we studied together for  10 year) after 2 year i started to have the feeling that i should ask her to marry but even on thinking about it makes me hurt more, cuz i don't have any job, my life is a mess, i have not been very strong in my studies and also i started to suspect that the girl i start to like is already with someone else,

Anyways apart from that i do offer my prayers 5 or 4 times daily and I do perform my Islamic life also...
I feel like a failure everytime, my hopes of getting a happy life keeps dieing with these act which happens around me on daily basis, i get stressed out, i start have thoughts about dieing mostly think why didn't i just die i cry to sleep at night and sometimes i don't get to sleep just keep crying. If my parents say that they will get me married i started to feel anger my blood starts boiling cuz i don't want to get married (until or unless if the girl i like is the one i am marrying which will not even happen with all the bad luck in my life).
I am not only stressed that i won't get married i am basically stressed out at everything.
Even i started to recite some surah about depression and related stuff, things around me started to get worse and worse...

If my relationship fails again, i am going to live alone all my life.. Tell me what is wrong with me why i am being going through hard things everyday of my life even i don't hurt anyone i help others and do good deeds.but still i feel like my whole existence is pointless.

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6 Responses »

  1. Alaikum Assalam
    Narrated that Umm Salamah (may Allaah be pleased with her) said: I heard the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) say: I heard the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) say:

    “There is no Muslim who is stricken with a calamity and says what Allaah has enjoined –

    إن لله وإنا إليه راجعون‏:‏ اللهم آجرني في مصيبتي، واخلف لي خيرا منها

    ‘Verily to Allaah we belong and unto Him is our return. O Allaah, reward me for my affliction and compensate me with something better’ (‘Inna lillahi wa inna ilaihi raji’un. Allahumma ujurni fi musibati, wakhluf li khairan minha )– but Allaah will compensate him with something better.” Umm Salamah (May Allah be pleased with her) said: When Abu Salamah (May Allah be pleased with him) died, I repeated the same supplication as the Messenger of Allah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wa sallam) had commanded me (to do). So Allah bestowed upon me a better substitute than him (i.e I was married to Muhammad, the Messenger of Allah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wa sallam)).

    [Sahih Muslim 918

    That the relationship with this girls failed is maybe the best for you. If it is haram this is maybe a sign from Allah to leave the haram relationships.
    If you want to marry this girl do it halal. If she doesn‘t want to marry than it is not the most tragic thing in the world. Just say this from above from sahih muslim and Allah will exchange your calamity with something better in sha Allah.

    Make dua to not stay alone. Make dua to find wife.

    Allah says in the Quran

    “but give glad tidings to As‑ Saabiroon (the patient).

    156. Who, when afflicted with calamity, say: ‘Truly, to Allaah we belong and truly, to Him we shall return.’

    157. They are those on whom are the Salawaat (i.e. who are blessed and will be forgiven) from their Lord, and (they are those who) receive His Mercy, and it is they who are the guided ones”

    [al-Baqarah 2:155-157]

    There are solutions from the Quran and from the Sunnah how to increase your income.

    “And whosoever fears Allah and keeps his duty to Him, He will make a way for him to get out (from every difficulty).

    And He will provide him from (sources) he never could imagine.”

    [al-Talaq 65:2-3]

    “And (remember) when your Lord proclaimed: ‘If you give thanks (by accepting Faith and worshipping none but Allah), I will give you more (of My Blessings); but if you are thankless (i.e. disbelievers), verily, My punishment is indeed severe.’”

    [Ibraheem 14:7]

    “I said (to them): ‘Ask forgiveness from your Lord, verily, He is Oft-Forgiving; He will send rain to you in abundance, And give you increase in wealth and children, and bestow on you gardens and bestow on you rivers.’” [Quran 71: 10-12]

    For children you need a wife. So this is also very good to do if you are in trouble.

    I hope I could help you. Stay away from haram relationships because there is no barakah in them from Allah and Blessings come from Allah.
    May Allah give you the blessing of a wife and children
    Make dua also for me brother.

  2. Salam br. I will be straight with you....Your foundation IS WEAK. HALF OF IMAN IS TO BE MARRIED!!! ALLAH TESTES EVERYBODY UPTO HIS LAST BREATH....EVERYTHING IN THIS WORLD IS A CURSE EXCEPT FOR 3 PEOPLE...ONE WHO IS A SCHOLOR 2) a student of Islam..always learning and 3) a old person who does zikr that tears flow from his eyes.Some advice renew your intentions and have balance in your life.....master wudu and salah learn simple and easy method dont be hard on the mosque...make it habbit to pray 1 min a day at mosque .Morni g and evening must read quran and blow the 3 quls to protect yourself. Read 1 2 3 hadiths twice and do tasbih 100× durood 100x astagf.10x 3rd kalima morning and evening everyday this is min. The most important thing is consistency!!! Read manzil and listen to it reg. To cleanses you from any 1 a week youtube it the benefits....Also keep away from haram food and interest.

    And most of all marry a practicing women.she will bring blessings and happiness in your life..remeber shaitan is a master at games so be adopr silience be patience and trust Allah

    Everything has its reason...ask the sunni scholors for advice not regular people who think they know much.

    My wife is a scholor and i send time in tabligh jamaat were i my self is a revert..

  3. I think your anxiety derives from your failed relationships. Take a break, stop dating girls and focus on yourself for at least five years. Work and study at the same time.

    If you focus on yourself, you’ll have a stable job InshaAllah which will enable you to think about marriage and support a wife. You are so young, take time out, don’t stress and just be your no1. Forget all the noise, Haraam stuff and put religion and yourself first .

  4. Go onto YouTube and type in ruqyah audio... Usually an hour long, put your headphones on 100% volume if after 20-30 minutes you feel anger or left leg or left hand starts to shake involuntarily.... Then it's due to jinn possession, most likely done by your photo....
    All the best

  5. Salaam, is there a way to private message? I am going through a similar struggle. But I’m trying to do things the halal way arranged. But I just get soooo stressed out thinking about things and end up saying no as i just get tooo stressed out. Recently i’ve been feeling i’m too difficult to live with. So thinking of not getting married either. As I feel i’ll always be so stressy and everyone always loves me alhamdulillah. My looks personality deen etc. But then actually living with me i feel i stress out too much n will be hard.

  6. Walaikum Salam,

    Brother, you need a job. Move around in your city and find any kind of job. Remember Any Job even if you like it or not.

    That is the only solution to your problems.

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