Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Lonely since childhood

Lonely lady sitting on a rock

as far as i remember i was always lonely ..... the girls in my class never liked me ... i always used to feel awkward and strange and different from others ... but i used to think that all of this will finish one day when i grow up and have like gangs of friends a better understanding with family n all of that .....

i dont have siblings n not much cousins too ... only a few which r quite younger than me no friends at all and it has always been like this

now im 18 ... at this age u'd probably find girls with there friends on facebook .... in group pictures on instagram or probably the most attractive n loveable creatures in the family .....and me ? im still like that ... feeling no change at all

life seems to have nothing interesting .... this deep down loneliness kills me every night before i sleep and every day when i wake up .... my parents especially doesn't seem to love me at all .... i find myself so worthless good for nothing .... please dont advice grow up stop being such an ammature etc ... cuz non of u is at my place right niw to actually know how it feels like after all u try u're still rejected by the world

im constantly failing my exams due to which my mother is quite angry with me ... no matter how hard i try i just fail .... i've even lost interest in my studies now ... n reaching out for professional help is useless ... i cant afford that

is Allah doing this to me ? .... why isn't this disaster ending ? why is life like this ?

marry

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7 Responses »

  1. Salm .My sister I have alot of experience and i want to be an example to you and others. First of all you are young and theres alot that you dont know yet and that comes in time.When i was in my teens i really didnt have any understanding of Islam and whats my real purpose in life.Anyways long storyshort. l was always alone too and didnt have friends and was always told that i was dumb. At times i cried but hid it good. Anyways as time went by .I always pondered about life and wandered why i had so much bad luck.Well until my grandfather passed away i started to ponder overdeath.So naturally l loooked at the Quran .The first few pages hit me so hard. It was everything i was looking for and my eyes were open to the real truth about life. Subban Allah. God guided me. From my kid years to 26 i was alone and when i found the answers i was looking for . i knew that Allah was the only person that cared and so i had develope the skills i needed to gain a strong connection because i was impure and eating haram and all that stuff.When i madeup my mind to settle down because of temptations i knew that the only women whos going to be my friend my helper in deen and give me peace of mind and confidence is a strong practising women. 4yrs of dua asking Allah going to mosque crying begging.Allah then chose for me a women who was a scholor and my life has been so loving and bessed.Yes at times problems will arise and nobodys perfect but only proper faith or solid foundation will give you patience and that comes with Islamic knowledge! So things happen for areason thats Gods plan and reading this was his plan.....You are young my dear...If i were you i would go to local musjid get involved with the sisters programs get involved helping youth and then you will see a change in your life. It is said that if you help Allahs deen Allah will help you! Next build on your education career so you can be independant.Think if you had a degree in anything or being doctor.YOU ARE indepentant you got Allah you got money you help people and you can travel for the sake of Allah Eg. Hajj or migrate?whatever you desire as long as you are within boundries according to what is halaal and haram..... My sister if you divide your wealth in 3 parts you will be the happiest person in both worlds. So dont let negative things effecy you....No this is from shaitan an open enemy that knows your weaknesses and desires.Be careful.Learn deen read quran .Did you know reading quran has somany virtues.....A few them..Quran keeps the devil away strenghtens the brain sharpens the eyes brings light on you face gives you peace and tranquility food for the soul baraka in wealth gives you respect in this world and in the hereafter Angels make dua for you. Allah protects from amy harm people intended too but he can test you.Because a beliver is always tested for his belief so be prepared and be happy for the good or bad..A good example is the story of prophet Ayub.. just google it. lastly if your that bored join taewondo or some sport? my daughter whose 9 yrs now is almost blk belt and 3 more levels swimming left and goes after school for 2 hrs madressah .Knows 31 suras and told me she wants to be peditrician.... so i want you to be confident and prove yourself you can do it and ask Allah directly...Ask local Imams for advice dont get to involved with these sites they can be dangerous!

  2. Salam

    Allah isn't doing this to you. You lack social skills which then prevent you from making friends. You feel alone and get depressed which in turn prevents you from gaining social skills. The key is to get social skills then you will have friends. Once you have friends your self esteem will go up.

    And there's also the islamic way:
    Stop caring what others think of you. Because you care you think they don't like you, stop worrying about what they think and worry about how you can get good deeds. Smiling is a good deed, do that. Allah says when someone says salam you give one back that's as good as better so you try to give a happier salam back ok? You see someone in trouble ask if you can help. You overhear a conversation and ask the woman, I have that skill, my name is marry, may I help? See if there's somewhere you can volunteer, then volunteer. See if you can tutor someone, and then tutor them. Try making jokes, they are funny and cause laughter. People like laughter cause it's fun. Lot's of options here other than sulking and feeling depressed.

    Also, sorry you're sad.

  3. thats not a very big thing, i had no friend for 2 years in the university except for one who was dropped she took admission in another department i didnt make any friend. i enjoy myself alone.
    the concept of friends , friends are not like what you are really thinking, you may find only 1 true friend in your life, they will become your friends but after the degree they dont bother to contact you.
    i had a best friend she was my friend for 18 years, after 18 years she stabbed my back , she became my worst enemy, she cheated on me, made another friend i used to defend myself alone, fought back alone with strength. do you want to have a friend like her who knows everything about you and in the end you have to leave each other for you own good .
    try to improve your personality, your confidence level is low.

    no body will come to make you happy. you are the only reason for your happiness others are just addition to your happiness, no doubt having friends is a good thing but you have alot of time, when you will reach university level you will find many many friends.

  4. Assalamualaikom Sister

    Take a deep breath and say "Alhmadulillah for what I have"., feel it in your heart while you are saying it.
    If you keep looking for the things you lack you do not have time to appreciate the good things you have in life

    Social skills grow with time. Nevertheless, it is possible that you didn't find people you can get along with. It doesn't mean you are a freak ... it just mean you are different and unique, and you need to expand your horizon and look elsewhere for like-minded people with whom you can connect. Not everybody need lots of friends, some just need one true friend and they are happy with that. Know yourself and do not just try to blend in.. its perfectly fine if you are a bit introvert. Many great men and women of this world are indeed introvert and they with the help of this uniqueness have lived a content life, excelled in their fields, and served to humanity

    Facebook friends ?? Thats not real life friends ... so do not be annoyed you are not liking the place..
    i have personally deactivate my Facebook and i think i am grateful i did... i couldn't stand the fakeness any longer.. yes its fun to pass time.. but its not for me

    Try to fight all these negative thoughts, and clear your mind fromit.... Try to think deeper.
    This loneliness you feel maybe is trying to tell you that you are not where you supposed to be..
    Believe in yourself, and take a deep breath... make your relationship with Allah stronger, it doesn't befit to listen to the whispers of Shytaan telling you "Allah is doing this to you" ... Exalted He from wanting bad for his creations.

    Whenever thoughts like this come to you, say Astaghfirullah, Auzublillahi min alshaytaan irrajeem. " I seek forgiveness from Allah, I seek refuge with Allah from the evil Shaytaan"

    May Allah give you content and happy life and good friends who value you rightly

  5. Salaams Sis,
    I have the same problem. I tend to struggle making friends, I guess it's because of my lack of social skills. Sometimes, I feel like I'm socially awkward and don't know what to do in certain situtations, and it's kinda embarrassing.
    All I'm gonna say is, you're not alone. TONS of people are like this, including myself.
    But you need to come out of your little bubble, and get to know more people. Stop being so shy and quiet, go out and make friends.
    Join clubs and organizations that have girls your age, and InshAllah you'll find nice girls to spend time with. What are your interests? Do you like sports, art, crafts, etc? Whatever it is, there's practically a club/organization for almost everything these days. The possibilities are literally endless.
    I noticed that when I joined the clubs at my school that involved my interests, I made much more friends than I did at the beginning of the school year.

    If this doesn't work, don't give up. Make duaa', keep your faith in Allah, and InshAllah He(swt) will help you.

    Good luck <3
    ~muslima01

  6. Dear...

    How is your relation with Allah? How is your relation with your elder?
    How is your prayer? Do you the 5 prayers? Do you tahajjud? Read you qur'an? Do you the 5 pillars of Islam? Do you Du'a?
    if your answer is not good and No. Then we knew the answer...

    From your story seems you have depression. Depressing normally caused by you are not agreed with what Allah has decided to you.

    Let's say - you are not aggreed with types of parents and family he braught you in.

    SOLUTION...
    received the situation have Allah choose for you
    Focused in your duty and not your right.
    your duty is to be good to your elders, doesn't matter how cruel are they to you
    your duty is to be a good person for your society, even thought you are not exist to them
    Do all my questions above...

    Do it everyday, and give me max 90 days, insya Allah you can feel the changes.... 🙂

    It's true... Ive proved it...

  7. Asalam Alekum

    MashaAllah beautiful comments it made my day

    jazakAllah Khairan it has improved my self esteem all in one day!

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