Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Long distance relationship becoming more complicated due to caste issues

caste system prejudice

The caste system is not from Islam. It is prevails in the Indian Subcontinent because of the Hindusim.

Well Ill try to keep this as short as possible. I m currently 17. It started out having a crush on my dads,cousins' son,but by the time I was 15 I felt totally in love with this guy. (I was crushing on him since I was 10. I live in the Kurdish region of Iraq and he lives in a city 2 hours away. I told him I fancied him when I was about to become 14. He started to like me too. I didnt have a phone so one day he got a hold of my sisters phone and called. I was so happy and we started to talk on the phone.

Our relationship was a bit different because we didn't really talk about lovey dovey stuff. We were more like best friends, laughing, sharing secrets, trusting, the future (in my country when people are together, its assumed they should get married when they're older).... I did a lot of crazy things for him. The problem was and still is that my parents literally hate his family. There is no way that I can get married to him. A year ago, people started finding out about our secret calls and everyone had their say considering our relationship. People got angry especially because I'm from and upper class family and from Britain and hes poor.

Everyone assumes he's only after money and to get out of this country. I have asked him multiple times about this, but he just got really upset and angry. I dont know what to do. I really love this guy. Some times I cut myself to relieve me from the pain in my heart from missing him. I'm moving back to London soon and probably wont see him for a very long time. I know everything is in God's hands. I will be talking to him again soon, any suggestions on what to say. How can I deal with this differently? (people have also been saying that his family casted a Du'a upon me to love him unconditionally.

I'm so confused. I dont think I can deal with this anymore.


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1 Responses »

  1. Assalamualaikum,

    Britney, May Allah ease your problem.

    Sister, most people of your age have such feelings. It is the need for a partner to share life with, it is the need for love and affection, the need for emotional support. This is all provided by a life partner. Islam made this possible by way of marriage. You said that may not be possible due to your family's behavior. Islam does not have castes, no rich is superior over poor in deen. But if your parents deny him for fear that he wiol not be able to provide for you, they are not wrong.

    The best course of action according to me is to go to London when you do and stop contacting this guy. Perhaps the feeling will die away due to distance and time. And believe me, in general the so-called love between people before marriage is actually a lie of Shaitan which is in disguise. If you feel the need for support, seek it from your female friends, talk to your mother, etc. Keeping in contact with him if no future is possible is wrong.

    This is the best way to handle this, per me. And Allah Knows Best.

    Abu Abdul Bari Editor

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