Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Long distance relationship with a cousin.

As salam o alikum !

I am 24 years old , a student and completing my studies which will take some time to finally get the qualification. Currently I am having a long distance relationship with my cousin and we talk over phone call. Only face to face encounters are in the family events/gathering. We mostly discuss our lives, happenings in our life and jokes e.t.c.

We have a history , when I was 17 we tied ourselves in an immature relationship (that too long distance) and we weren't talking to each other as much as we currently do. Conversations earlier were restricted to just 5 texts a week or less.

Now we got back again recently and for serious this time. We have both talked to our parents individually and they don't have any issues with that, however nothing is official as yet because of the qualification(2 years). We both now believe that we talk a a lot and it could be HARAM ? however we don't want to stop talking.

A little help would be appreciated in devising future course of action.


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3 Responses »

  1. Asalaamu Alaikum,

    In Islam, we are not meant to talk to non-mahrams unless it be for valid reasons, eg. such as business/occupation, medical purposes etc under appropriate manners and decorum. Getting to know a potential spouse is one of those reasons, BUT, it comes with guidelines, like the parents must be involved and know that the two are courting and not meeting in person (or speaking alone in the privacy of a computer/ laptop/ mobile).

    If you both feel it is wrong, then listen to your heart and instead of cutting complete contact, reduce communication to the reasonable and permissable amount and keep conversations professional. This is advice from a novice and you should really consult a scholar / mufti or Imaam.

    The following is a link to a question and answer portal which is always answered by qualified ulema (scholars) and verified by other scholars. You should present your question there and get a qualified answer from a learned person.

    And Allah knows best.

  2. Haram. What else can you only commit sins and curse your self! Life is a test ? We must perfect ourselves before we die

    • Raul

      The poster was looking for advice. She is concerned about keeping within halal limits. Otherwise she would not be posting here. I felt your response was harsh and judgemental without any practical advice for her.

      To the sister who posed the question, you could have a nikah with your cousin so it's permissible to speak to him, with the wedding to follow later on. You would need to speak to your parents about this. If you both are serious about marrying each other and your families have agreed, I don't see why they would have a problem with this.

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