My loneliness is haunting, can’t control my suicidal thoughts.
My loneliness is killing me from the inside n the worst part is no body has any concern or no one bothers to know whats wrong with me or give me some time and help me find a solution to my difficulty and inablity to be like others
Im suffering through a severe psychological disorder which through reading sone articles on the internet i came to know that it is known as social anxiety .... Believe me its very severe as i believe no one can understand the pain im going through currently .... Im the only child of my parents and have been lonely since childhood as all my cousins are very younger than me .... I'll be sitting in my room alone for the whole day crying or doing anything ... Nothing will bother my mom to know whats wrong with me although she caught me crying several times .... I told her im suffering from severe inferiority conplex and i see my self inferior to everyobe ... Even if i see my servant i'd say she more superior to me .... My inablity to socialize ...
Nothing is bothering any one but affecting me badly .... I see other girls of my age who are rather good at studies or lively funloving and good at baking and stuff but i dont know anything ... I dont have any friends or anyone else to talk to ... I told mom about my mesrible social life and everything but this only makes me realize that when i finallykill myself only thn they will come to know how much pain i was going through .... I tried seeking help from Allah by nawafil .. Salat e isthkhara ... Reciting quran ... Reciting surah rehman or just habonallah ha wa namal wakeel but dont see any change ..... This is the reason i scored bad marks in my matric
This thing has taken almost 6 months and this is badly affecting my studies .... My anxiety is at its peek and gets even more severe when i find no help from any one .... Even seeking help from Allah is also not helping ,...I find no way of escape ..... Im 17 i wonder what if this never ends ? What if i have to live with it forever ? I cant bear it trust me i was crying while typing this post ..... Why is this happening ... What is the way out .... Plzzz reply me as soon as possible i dont know what other thoughts will cross my mind .... No one in the family cares about me no one !!!! They'd rather make fun of me if i tried to share something plzzzzz what should i do i pray n cry before Allah in every prayers ... I cry to him i beg him but how long will it take ? I dont think i have any more sabr or strength to face it plzzzz reply me soon
Marry.
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Sister, please don't even think about suicide. You know why? You are my sister in Islam and without even seeing you I know you're a jewel- so kind, caring, and Allah loves you because He only tests a believer when He loves him or her. This world is nothing but trials, and everyone wants people to think their lives are perfect- but at one point everyone's felt so helpless and depressed.Please talk to a school counselor or a local psychologist- they are trained to deal with these sort of problems.
Allah loves you because He says in the Qur'an that He wants the best for His servants and that everyone was created with uniqueness, and a beauty none but Allah alone can know. Leave the room. I know that sounds harsh, but there are really good people out there who would feel so blessed to have you as a friend- if there's a masjid near your home with classes for sisters please try to go. It's a great place to find good friends, or look for things like a cooking class. In school, when you want to feel like you're a part of something, say Bismillah. O Allah, I am Your servant, and You know that I'm refraining from bad deeds because I fear You. Help me to feel happy with myself and allow me to mingle with Your creation.' You don't really have to say this prayer, it's what I used to say. But say a prayer and smile and when you see someone, walk to them and introduce yourself. If you pose as a kind person, by Allah's will people will gravitate towards you.
Last, but not least, if you worry about what mean people might say or think, I heard about a story (I wish I could remember the exact words or surah and may Allah forgive me if I'm wrong) but Prophet Musa complained to Allah against the people who spoke about him. Allah replied that they slander Allah and make lies about Him, when He gave them every blessing (they did by disbelieving).
Keep that in mind. Jannah is the ultimate destination.
Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wabarakatuh
Take care.
Sister,
First of all, let me tell you that i can correlate with a lot of things which you have written and i m 28. I lost all my childhood friends, because my family kept on changing places when i was younger. And i have never been able to make close friends which i had in my school days.
Secondly, if you have no one to speak to about your problem or your anxiety and deprssion is severe go and and see a psychiatrist. ANother thing i can tell you is write down things like in a journal, and read them. Than anaylyze the stuff you can change or cant change and accept them.
Regards,
Ali Hasan
Asalamu alikum sister,
just wanted to send you a virtual hug, and let you know that I am sorry this is happening.
But please know that suicide is not okay, we all will die one day- so spend your life doing good deeds and be ready to meet Allah but later on. Not now. Dont rush death, we all will die one day my dear- the angel of death is apointed to all of us.
Here are a few of my thoughts- sorry this will be an essay:
1) I dont know much about social anxiety- but i want to tell you that fitting in is overated- just be yourself. And be at peace with lonliness. What i mean is, just be at peace with what Allah has given you and make the best of it. Be at peace with who you are my dear, love yourself, be patient with yourself- and you will find companions.
Ill tell you about myself- I am 27 now- but in school i never had a large group of friends- i was always floating around- i knew people but never really had a true good friend. In highschool i would eat lunch quickly and just go to the library and study. I had no one so i studied. That helped me survive. I have been there, lonliness kills you.
But you know what helped too, wearing the hijab and meeting other muslims. I started praying with a few students in Ramadam at school and met a few muslimahs who are still my friends to this day. Also, do community classes- like swimming, learning quraan, anything- do a group activity- where the focus is not on interacting but doing something. this way you can be slowly inteacting with others.
Also, it gets better in univeristy- its more independent- and there isnt this pressure to fit in and be in a group like highschool.
I want you to know that sometimes Allah doesnt give you soemthing to protect you. Maybe you dont have friends because Allah is protecting you from negative influences. Maybe later you will meet someone. Just be patient.
2) Also, do try to get phycological help - maybe you can do the islamic university's online counceling..(I would add the link btu everything i typed will get lost- ill add it later) . Its an online way fo chatting with someone and getting some help. It called Islamic Online University and they offer councelling- do try it and see if they can help you in any way. It might be worth a shot- especially if you cant depend on your parents to support you. And even before that, does your school have a councellor? You might want to try that? Its free!
3) You say you are lonely at home, and your mom is not caring. Know a little bit about how people behave- understand your mother first- she only behaves as her parents behaved with her. She must have had very cold and unlvoving parents as welll- and is not capable of showing compasssion.
Peopel tend to mirror what they get- if they receive love they give love- if they get hate- they give hate.
How about you start loving your mom. I know its sounds weird. But try it one day. When she comes from work- "Hi Mom! give her a hug and tell her you love her- and ask her about her day? = she will feel special- when she feels special - she will mirror that as well.
Surprise her with a thank you note for makeing lunch- help her and be her companion. IF she is cooking, spend time with her. Ask her if she needs help. Dont spend your day crying, make a bond with your mom.
4) most of all know that dua is not like an instant wish- and puff it just happens. Allah knows what we dont know- so just because you are making dua - and it doenst happen- its doesnt mean that he isnt there- its just means that its not meant to happen.
Being patient means understanding that life doesnt always have to be easy- but being patient means we rely on Allah to guide us and give us strenght to bear whatever hardship we face.
Think about the prophets who struggled, were insulted, thrown into the fire, tortured, etc etc- their lives were very very difficult - but Allah loved them because they never gave up on hope and Always had faith.
I know you are strong, I know you are beautiful- I know you will get help and you have a wonderful life ahead of you. Just get help, love yourself, be your own best companion, spend your time doing good and inshallah you will meet people who will bring good into your life. You have to make yourself happy, dont wait for others to bring you happiness.
if you want to cook- COOK, if you want to do fun things- just go and DO THEM!
All the best my dear and may Allah bless you always.
Thank u so muck for u're time ... Remember me in u're prayers im in need of desperate ones
Assalam walaikum sis, how are you now?
Salam sis. i hope you are doing alright. the pain of social anxiety is a lot to handle but i hope you hold on because i know you can and hopefully, only good prayers to you
i am also having anxiety and it doesn't help growing with parents who have anger issues. so i feel your struggle in a way and i want to let you know that you're not alone