Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I am losing faith in dua.

Dua woman at Sunset

I want to share my story. A couple of years back I got married, and after getting married I have come to know that my husband had a medical problem so I have taken khula from him. This incident shattered me a lot emotionally, as well as physically. Because of all this stress and all, I got a hormonal imbalance problem which is creating havoc in my life. I have  lost  my hair severely no matter what treatment I am taking,  and no dua is helping me to overcome my health problem.

I have always been a faithful muslim. I would never be disobedient to my Allah and never, ever I have talked to any boy.  I have always prayed for a good husband throughout my life, but my dua has gone unanswered.  I have read your article about the power of dua, but I am losing faith in dua because I have tried every wazifa and made dua every moment of life- even in the hajj, on the day of arafat.

Prophet(pbuh)  had  said that the dua of an oppressed person will never be rejected. I am also an oppressed person, and injustice has been done to me by that person who had married me. But after that marriage I am feeling like Allah has closed the door of happiness for me and He is not answering any of my dua. I don't know how to convince Allah to give me a happy life. I know I have never done anything wrong, and have been patiently facing all trials of Allah.

In fact, I went for hajj last year hoping that at the kaaba at last my dua will be accepted, but after coming from hajj I am more depressed. I need some suggestions.

-jamima


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16 Responses »

  1. AsSalaamu Alaikum Sister,

    I am so sorry to hear about your situation, and I pray that Allah ease things for you, and grant you all the good things you seek for. Ameen!

    InshaAllah, other brothers and sisters may answer you about other aspect of your story, but I just wanted to focus on the du'a side, and say to you that, you should know that whatever you are going through, Allah (swt) loves you so much and He is already listening to you, and you shall come to see it happening inshaAllah. Just think good about Allah, and believe in yourself with yaqeen that Allah is making it happen already. The Prophet (s.a.w.s) said, “Pray to Allah while you feel yaqeen (certain) of an answer. And know that Allah does not answer a prayer from an indifferent, playful heart.” (Tirmidhi: 3490).

    Abu Huraira reported Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) as saying:
    "The supplication of the servant is granted in case he does not supplicate for sin or for severing the ties of blood, or he does not become impatient. It was said: Allah's Messenger, what does:" If he does not grow impatient" imply? He said: That he should say like this: I supplicated and I supplicated but I did not find it being responded. and theu he becomes frustrated and abandons supplication." (Muslim)

    You may also benefit from these two du'as below, as they contain Allah's greatest name, the one which if He Is called upon by it, He responds, and when He is asked by it, He gives.

    The first du'a:
    (Allahumma Inni As’aluka Bi Anni Ashhadu Annaka Antallah, La Ilaha Illa Anta Al-Ahadus-Samadu, Alladhi Lam Yalid Wa Lam Yulad, Wa Lam Yakun Lahu Kufuwan Ahad...I ask you to...).”

    Its meaning in English:
    "O Allah, indeed, I ask you by my testifying that You are Allah, there is none worthy of worship except You, the One, As-Samad, the one who does not beget, nor was begotten, and there is none who is like Him... I ask you to...

    The second du'a:
    (Allahumma La ilaha illallahu, Antal-Mannan, Badi’as-Samawati Wal-Ard, Dhal-Jalali Wal Ikram, Yaa Hayyun Yaa Qayyum... I ask you to...)."

    Its meaning in English:
    "O Allah, none has the right to be worshiped but Allah, You are the One Who gives blessings, Originator of the heavens and the earth, Possessor of glory and generosity, The Living, the Eternal, I ask you too.... I ask you to...

    You may also combine the two du'as like this way:

    Allahumma Inni As’aluka Bi Anni Ashhadu Annaka Antallahu, Laa ilaha illaa Anta Al-Ahadus-Samadu, Alladhi Lam Yalid Wa Lam Yulad, Wa Lam Yakun Lahu Kufuwan Ahad...I ask you to........
    Allahumma Laa ilaha illallahu, Antal-Mannan, Badi’as-Samawati Wal-Ard, Dhal-Jalali Wal Ikram, Yaa Hayyun Yaa Qayyumun... I ask you to.......

    To locate those du'as in hadiths, please see below

    Hazrat Abdullah bin Buraidah Al Aslami narrated from his father, who said:

    “The Prophet heard a man supplicating, and he was saying: ‘O Allah, indeed, I ask you by my testifying that You are Allah, there is none worthy of worship except You, the One, As-Samad, the one who does not beget, nor was begotten, and there is none who is like Him (Allahumma Inni As’aluka Bi Anni Ashhadu Annaka Antalllah, La Ilaha Illa Anta Al-Ahadus-Samadu, Alladhi Lam Yalid Wa Lam Yulad, Wa Lam Yakun Lahu Kufuwan Ahad).” He said: “So he said: ‘By the One in Whose Hand is my soul, he has asked Allah by His Greatest Name, the one which of He is called upon by it, He responds, and when He is asked by it, He gives.’ (Reported by at-Tirmidhi, Abu Dawud and ibn Majah)

    Hazrat Anas (r.a) said that:

    "the Prophet entered the Masjid and there was a man who had performed Salat and was supplicating. He was saying in his supplication: “O Allah, none has the right to be worshiped but Allah, You are the One Who gives blessings, Originator of the heavens and the earth, Possessor of glory and generosity (Allahumma La Ilaha Illallah, Antal-Mannan, Badi’as-Samawati Wal-Ard, Dhal-Jalali Wal Ikram, Yaa Hayyun Yaa Qayyumun).” So the Prophet said: “Do you know what he has supplicated Allah with? He has supplicated to Allah by His Greatest Name, the one which if He Is called upon by it, He responds, and when He is asked by it, He gives.” (Reported by at-Tirmidhi, Abu Dawud, an-Nisai and Ibn Majah)

    • Ass Salam o Allaykum,

      I have read your reply and i think after reading your mail i am sure and confident that its not necessary that Allah should come down to earth and sort out human grievances but He (Allah) nominates his messengers to do this job, such as Holy Prophet (SAW) than afterword he (Allah) brought his love-ones on this earth to do his job, ultimately Allah is monitoring all this work and after his approval man listens and obeys and who obeys are called "thanksgiving" persons whatever he's men or women, the person disobeys are remains as in this world, would be asked at the day of judgement.

      I do have same problem, that Allah doesn't listen to me as i am five times Namazi, does khirat, zakat, rooza but than too my inner heart says that Allah will not listen to your prays and now its too late, Allah doesn't wish to fulfil your desire, stop asking him, if he would have listen to your prays than it would have been heard almost 20 years ago and now its too late.
      I am almost 43 years and still unmarried, my only wish were to get married but due to financial crises i were unable to settled down myself.
      Now the girl whom i loved the most is married and well settled, I am still the same, so i were thinking why don't I apply the Ayat on myself, as i am regular namazi, instead of encouraging and supporting shaitan better ask Astigufurralla, as much as i can, Now on dailt basis i do says Astigufrrallah uncountable with doorud uncountable to our holy prophet (SAW) than too my inner is not satisfied, what should i do in this regard.

      should i keep on ask what i have been asking for last 18 years the same girl for marriage or stop asking and leave up to Allah, or follow the inner feelings what's growing against Allah day y day....

      Regards
      Sayeed

      • Salam Sayeed,

        I just want to know, did you stop making duaa to get married to that same girl yet? Or are you still making? I noticed your comment was posted 2 years ago, but curious to know what is going on with you now? Hope you are in a better situation, inshaAllah.

  2. . Because of all this stress and all, I got a hormonal imbalance problem which is creating havoc in my life. I have lost my hair severely no matter what treatment I am taking

    stress-----------hormonal imbalance......more stress........more physical symptoms

    Your thoughts are causing you stress. What are you thinking?
    If your husband had sexual problems it was not your fault.

    Are you a perfectionist?

  3. Dear sister in Islam Jamima,
    Your solution is only in one sentence. I might say Allaah (subhanahu wa ta'ala) is angry on you whenever you say, "I know I have never done anything wrong, and have been patiently facing all trials of Allah."

    Never again say the above line okay. Say this, "Allaah I am the one who had made mistakes knowingly or unknowingly, please forgive me. Show me the right path and help me out from this distress." Repeat these words in Sajood (prostration) after Namaz (Esha) prayer or in the middle of the night or in Tahajjud prayer. Don't raise your head from this Sajdah (prostration) position until your heart finds peace. And insha'Allaah you will be Granted. Amen

    Allaah Knows the Best!

    • Masha Allah perfectly explained,Sister Jamima,Read as much Quran as you can dont go for any wazaif,say astaghfar as much as you can,glorify Allah through tasbih and dhikr.Pay alms to the poor don't get diheartened and pray tahajjud after 5 daily prayers. And most importantly have faith in Allah! Be in wudu most of the time and say Alhamdulillah in each dua as you say it in prayers. May Allah ease your problems and May He find you a best husband of your dreams ameen. I love you for the sake of Allah.

  4. asalamu alaikum,

    noo sister not the wazifa. you said you have tried every wazifa? I don't know what you read from that, but if you been just reading du'a without understanding, then what you are saying what benefit is it? your heart and mind should be in sync sincerely asking. otherwise its nothing but lip service.

    one important thing you have to understand, if you claim to be a Muslim, do you think Allah(swt) wont test you? yes he will test you in your health, wealth, children etc.. so what to do? say Alhamdulillah, and stay firm and patience.. remember life is a test, “Allah surely loves those who are the Sabireen (patient).” (3:146)

    also stay away from wazifa. read the Quran which will be far better for you, theirs Du'as from the Quran which you can recite. you can make Du'a anytime.

    ma salama..

  5. Assalaamualaikam

    Sister, even though it can be frustrating to feel your duas are not helping you, remember that Allah has a plan for you. There will be a reason for your current trials even though you can't see one now - when we cannot see a reason for something, we can place our trust in Allah to guide us to what is right.

    You mentioned that you left your husband because he had a medical problem. Putting that to one side, was he of good character and faith? Was he a good husband while you were together (did he treat you with respect and compassion, did he help you and support you?)? If he was all these things, it might be worth thinking about whether you would like to reconcile with him, and work through the health issues together.

    I would agree with Masood (MashaAllah, brother), that you need to turn away from the thought that you have never done anything wrong. No person alive today is perfect and free from sin; we have all made mistakes, either knowingly or unknowingly. It's ok for us to admit we aren't perfect and to admit we have transgressed - if we don't admit this to ourselves, how can we repent and make positive changes to our lives?

    Midnightmoon
    IslamicAnswers.com editor

  6. Asssalamoalikum Jemima ,

    One question comes is if your husband was good man Have you ever tried to solve together this medical issue?
    Have you given him enough time to sort out his medical problems ?

    Please remember even if you find a medically fit new husband still there will be so many another issues to look ..Life is not like how it appears in movies ..It needs patience ...Allah is with those have patience ..

    Whatever may be the situation don't loose the hope ..

    Allah hafiz

  7. Prayers for you.... One thing i will suggest you is believe.... Believe in ALLAH. Dua tab qabool hoti hy jab ALLAH par, aur dua ky qabool hony ka yaqeen ho.....
    2nd... do job, and try to keep urself busy, or start studying furthermore.

  8. Assalam o alaikum

    I have a question regarding prayers. What if a person keeps on praying for something and things didn't work out. Obviously, it's quite natural that person becomes hopeless at times and starts complaining in front of others about why prayers were not accepted. But still, even after complaints, he starts praying again hoping for a miracle to happen and wishes to be granted?? Is it right to again start praying for what you once complained about?

    • It would not be good for your emotional health to keep praying for a miracle. Miracles rarely happen. You should start moving on and recognize that you will get what is written for you.

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