Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I am losing my faith in Islam.

The Islamic Shahadah, or testimony of faith, carved in wood on the wall of a masjid

The Islamic Shahadah, or testimony of faith, carved in wood on the wall of a masjid

Assalamu'alaiykum.

I am a 17 year old Muslim girl who was born in America, but recently moved abroad to Egypt. When I was in the US, I was a proper Muslim. I wore my hijaab with long skirts, dresses or Abayas. I prayed too. Not five times a day but as much as I could manage. I would fast there too and during the month of Ramadhan I would try my best to complete my prayers five times a day. I moved to Egypt with my Mom and siblings almost two years ago. I have very religious parents, so it would make sense that I was brought up in the right path. But ever since I moved away from the US, I lost interest in Islam. I don't pray at all, I don't read the Qura'an, I don't wear scarf when my parents are not with me, and when I do have to wear it, I despise it and I find it uncomfortable. I've become uncomfortable with the thing that's gave me most comfort since I was 12 years old. I don't know what's happened. I wasn't a good Muslim back then either, although I did my prayers at least and no one saw me without a scarf or with tight clothes, and that would have eventually brought me to a straighter path, but now it's getting ridiculous.

I can't bring myself to pray. I don't know why. I hate living in my house too because we've been having a lot of troubles in this past two years, I keep thinking of ways to get out. These are bad thoughts, and I just know that it's because I'm distancing myself from Islam. But, I've been having a lot of questions about Islam, which don't make sense, and cause me to doubt the religion. I know these are Haraam to think of but they keep coming up. Questions like, If betting in Islam is haraam then why did Allah accept the bet against Shaitaan with the whole human following who situations? I don't want anyone telling me that I'm making a big sin and Allah won't forgive me because I've heard enough of that, so please don't comment if that's all you have to say. I've also done a lot of bad things in my past, I've had three short term boyfriends already and there's countless guy friends that I "flirt" with and I have sent photos showing my skin (not nude) to boys over Facebook. I'm still a virgin, Al-hamdulillah but if I don't bring faith to my religion I know that won't be there much longer.

I need someone to help me, I don't know what to do, I have to stop being like this. It's been years I haven't prayed, only a few times during Ramadhan, I just started reading Qura'an with a Qura'an tutor and she says I'm going better, but it's not helping. I need something or someone to be there for me all the time, someone to help me when I doubt, this is the only site I can go on because I don't know any others and this takes a month for my question to get published. It's getting out of control, I know that people say that Allah is there for you, but I need someone to talk with me face to face, someone to answer my questions in person, because the Qura'an is too hard for me to read the whole book with english translation, I will lose interest quickly.

I just need some guidance......

Sana.


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11 Responses »

  1. ASSALAMALAIKUM-
    DEAR SANA HAVE PATIENCE YOU HAVE ALL THE SIGNS OF STRONG BELIVER THE UNEASINESS AND THE YEARNING TO GO BACK OT THE DAYS OF OBEDIENCE IS A GREAT SIGN OF STRONG FAITH THE RGRET ITSELF IS VERY VERY ENCOURAGING-PLS PLS DONT WORRY YOU WONT LOOSE OUT TO SATAN AND YOU WILL WIN VERY SOON-

    It was narrated that Suhayb said: the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:
    “How wonderful is the affair of the believer, for all his affairs are good, and this applies to no one except the believer. If something good happens to him, he gives thanks, and that is good for him, and it something bad happens to him, he bears it with patience, and that is good for him.”(Narrated by Muslim, 2999)
    This world should not be the main concern of the Muslim. Worry about his provision should not find any room in his heart or mind, lest that make his sickness and his anxiety worse.
    It was narrated that Anas (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:
    “Whoever is mainly concerned about the Hereafter, Allaah will make him feel independent of others and will make him focused and content, and his worldly affairs will fall into place. But whoever is mainly concerned with this world, Allaah will make him feel in constant need of others and will make him distracted and unfocused, and he will get nothing of this world except what is decreed for him.”
    (Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 2389; classed as saheeh by Shaykh al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’, 6510).REMEDY FOR DEPRESSION AND WORRIES
    The scholars of Islaam have extracted from the Qur’aan and the authentic Sunnah many remedies and cures to help us in our daily affairs and remove our problems.
    1. It was reported that the Prophet (PBUH) used to recite this Dua:

    اللّهُـمَّ رَحْمَتَـكَ أَرْجـوفَلا تَكِلـني إِلى نَفْـسي طَـرْفَةَ عَـيْن، وَأَصْلِـحْ لي شَأْنـي كُلَّـه لَا إِلَهَ إِلَّا أنْـت
    “O Allah, I hope for Your mercy. Do not leave me to myself even for the blinking of an eye (i.e. a moment). Correct all of my affairs for me. There is none worthy of worship but You.” (Abu Dawud 4/324, Ahmad 5/42. Al-Albani graded it as good in Sahih Abu Dawud 3/959.)
    2. In al-Saheehayn it was reported from Ibn ‘Abbaas that the Messenger of Allaah (Peace and Blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to say, when he felt distressed:

    • We will see how the Salaf understood this matter:

      1) The opinion of the Sahaba:

      Ibn Abbas (ra) is one of the most learned men of the Sahaba (Companions). Prophet Muhammad ((may Peace Be Upon Him)) even prayed for him saying "O Allah, make him acquire a deep understanding of the religion of Islam and instruct him in the meaning and interpretation of things." He with reference to Surah An-Nur “except only that which is apparent” as Ibn Kathir narrated with a Sahih (authentic) chain of narrators, said it’s "The hand, the ring, and the face." Abdullah Ibn Omar Ibn Al-Khattab (ra) said “the face and the two hands”. Anas Ibn Malik (ra) said “the hand and the ring”. Ibn Hazm said: “all of this (statements) are in the highest of accuracy. And so are statements by Ali (ra), Aisha (ra), and other Tabi’een”.

      Now you have to think who would understand these verses better than Aisha (ra) the MOST knowledgeable woman in the matters of Islam and the wife of Prophet Muhammad ((may Peace Be Upon Him))?

      2) Scholars among the Tabi’een had many opinions on this matter:

      Some said a woman should cover all of her body except the face and the hands. This is the saying of Imam Malik, Al-Hadi, Al-Qasim (in one of his narrations), and Imam Abu Hanifa (in one of his two narrations).

      Some said she should cover all her body except the face, the hands, and the foot. This is the saying of Imam Abu Hanifa (in another narration), Al-Qasim, and Ath-thouri. Some said she should cover all her body except the face. This is the saying of Ibn Hanbal and Dawood.

      No one said the face of a woman is loins (‘Aura) except a weak narration from Ibn Hanbal and some Shafi’i scholars!

      Sa'id ibn Jubayr, 'Ata and al-Awzai have stated explicitly that the showing of the face and hands is permissible. 'Aishah (ra), Qatadah, and others have added bracelets to what may be shown of the adornments; this interpretation implies that a part of the arm may also be shown. Various scholars (such as Abu Yusuf) have allowed the exposure of the lower part of the arm up to a length varying between about four inches to one-half of the arm.

      Ibn Hazm is the Imam of the Dhahiri schools (Literal schools) mentioned many accidents prove that it is not required for a woman to cover her face.

      3) The opinion of late scholars:

      Assuredly a woman is permitted to show her face and hands because covering them would be a hardship on her, especially if she must go out on some lawful business. For example, a widow may have to work to support her children, or a woman who is not well-off may have to help her husband in his work; had covering the face and hands been made obligatory, it would have occasioned such women hardship and distress. Al-Qurtabi says, it seems probable that, since the face and hands are customarily uncovered, and it is, moreover, required that they be uncovered during acts of worship such as Salat and Hajj, the exemption (referred to in the verses of Surah al-Nur) pertains to them.

      In addition to this, we may infer from Allah's words, "Tell the believing men that they should lower their gazes", that the faces of the women of the Prophet's time were not veiled. Had the entire body including the face been covered, it would have made no sense to command them to lower their gaze, since there would have been nothing to be seen.

      Narrated Aisha, Ummul Mu'minin: Asma, daughter of AbuBakr, entered upon the Apostle of Allah ((may Peace Be Upon Him)) wearing thin clothes. The Apostle of Allah ((may Peace Be Upon Him)) turned his attention from her. He said: O Asma', when a woman reaches the age of menstruation, it does not suit her that she displays her parts of body except this and this, and he pointed to her face and hands. (Narrated by Abu Dawood # 4092).

      This Hadith has three authentic narrations and was correct by all Major Hadith scholars such as Albani.

      Narrated 'Abdullah bin Abbas: Al-Fadl (his brother) was riding behind Allah's Apostle and a woman from the tribe of Khath'am came and Al-Fadl started looking at her and she started looking at him. The Prophet turned Al-Fadl's face to the other side. The woman said, "O Allah's Apostle! The obligation of Hajj enjoined by Allah on His devotees has become due on my father and he is old and weak, and he cannot sit firm on the Mount; may I perform Hajj on his behalf?" The Prophet replied, "Yes, you may." That happened during the Hajj-al-Wida (of the Prophet). (Narrated by Bukhari # 589, Muslim, and others).

      This Hadith is very authentic since it was narrated by Bukhari and Muslim. If she was covering her face then Ibn Abbas would know that she is beautiful! Also prophet ((may Peace Be Upon Him)) did not order the girl to cover her face. This hadith was not abrogated since it happened during Hajj-al-Wida (10 AH) while the Aya of Hijab was revealed in the 5th year after the Hijra.

  2. sihr.

    pray 2 rakat nafl prayer and ask AllahSWT for guidance and strength in deen.Tell AllahSWT that you are losing strength in Islam so please guide me for eternity.

    hear Ruqyah for evil eye.

    stop hearing music even if its islamic music too...

    recite Ayat ul kursi often

    be in wudu often.

    stop makeup if you do.

    Salaam.

  3. Bismilllahirrahmaanirrahiym
    wassalaatu wassalaamu alaa Rasulillah wa alaa aalihi wa sahbihi wa sallim.

    Salaam alaykum sister,...

    Oh my sister,..masha'Allah that you atleast feel regret and remorse for falling away from what you know you need to be doing. I do see some problems that if you fixed Insha'Allah you will improve.

    First and foremost ,.you must fix your Views and beliefs of Islam. Your beliefs are very important and based on them you will either go foreward or back wards.Your belief about Islam seem very faulty and if your belief and understanding of Islam is faulty then your practice will be faulty. You said if gambling is haram then why did Allah gamble with humanity. My sister Allah did not nor does he gamble. Allah created man so that he may worship and recognize him as the one true creator. Shaytaan was the Imam of Jinn before Allah created Prophet Adam a.s. and shaytaan "chose" to be envious of Adam a.s.. Shaytaan knew that a khalifah would be sent in the earth from his knowledge and he felt he was the best to be that khalifah since he was the Imam of the jinn. So when Allah created Adam a.s. shaytaan started to envy and hate Adam a.s. and even kicked his effigy whilst he was just clay and spat on him. Such was his hatred . So when Allah put the soul into Adam a.s. and declared Prophet Adam a.s. as his khalif and commanded the angels to bow down to Adam a.s. shaytaan refused and said to Allah I am better than him,.you have made me out of smokless fire and him out of clay.
    So you see sister there is no gamble here,..i don't know why you said this other than that you maybe do not spend enough time reading the Quran karem as apposed to merely reciting it,. Also you should have a teacher of Quran who will explain the holy Quran to you or read online ,.there are many teachers you can find online teacher explanation of the holy Quran.

    TWO,. once you fix your Aqidah and beliefs about Islam then you must work on your spirituality and relationship with Allah azza wa jalla. Once a bediune came to the Holy Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam and said Oh Prophet of Allah ,.the injuctions of Islam are to many ( meaning the things we must do according to the shari'ah are too many for me to do). Give me something that if I keep to it will take me to jannah. The Holy Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said what means," Keep your tongue moist with the zikr of Allah". So the scholars said that this is a remedy by which the person with little actions can become someone with great action and adhering to the shari'ah of Allah azza wa jalla. So I say to you sister always keep your tongue moist with the zikr of astaghfirullah and say salawat as much as able ,.these these will clean your heart so that when you do read or recite the Quran karem it will have more of an effect upon you.

    Thirdly,...You must never never blindly follow any shaykh or Imam. Avoid all innovation and make sure that you practice and only believe that which is established by Quran and hadith. Don't fall for blindly accepting knowledge or teachings with out knowing the source and proof of the teaching. The only scholars you may trust are the scholars of the first 3 generation of Islam. You must practice Islam so following one of the four schools of law is accepted by all scholars through all ages and Holy Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam said what means that ,'my ummah will not agree upon dalal (error)". So if there is agreement upon the four schools than Alhamdulillah. But make sure you are following that actual Imams teachings and beware of fake scholars who may add this or that to the Imams school.

    fourthly,. Don't think you need someone in order for you to practice Islam,.this is a lie we sometimes tell ourselves. However having a friend to talk to about your issues and feelings is understandable and needed. As for finding friendships it is very very important to be careful whom you pick to spend time with and take advice from because many times we become who are friends are and friends or so called friends can either lead us to paradise or hell. I will leave you with the following ahadith to reflect on.
    The Prophet ﷺ (peace be upon him) was reportedly asked: “Which of our companions are best?” He replied: “One whose appearance reminds you of God, and whose speech increases you in knowledge, and whose actions remind you of the hereafter.”1
    Prophet ﷺ said: “A person is on the religion of his companions. Therefore let every one of you carefully consider the company he keeps.” [Tirmidhi]
    The Prophet ﷺ reminds us of the importance of good company in this hadith (record of the Prophet ﷺ): “A good friend and a bad friend are like a perfume-seller and a blacksmith: The perfume-seller might give you some perfume as a gift, or you might buy some from him, or at least you might smell its fragrance. As for the blacksmith, he might singe your clothes, and at the very least you will breathe in the fumes of the furnace.” [Bukhari, Muslim]
    “And keep yourself patient [by being] with those who call upon their Lord in the morning and the evening, seeking His countenance. And let not your eyes pass beyond them, desiring adornments of the worldly life, and do not obey one whose heart We have made heedless of Our remembrance and who follows his desire and whose affair is ever [in] neglect.” (Qur’an, 18:28)

    wallahu alim
    wa alaykum salaam

  4. salaam

    Also I agree with Irfan to a degree,...becareful about jinn because they can attack you if you are not praying or reciting the ayatul kursi or four Quls . Make taubah and astaghfirullah every day and recite ayatul kursi every morning at fajr and at maghrib to protect you from shayateen and evil jinn. Reciting the four Quls (Ikhlas , falaq, and Nas ) 3 times morning and night is extra protection from shayateen and the reciting of suratul Baqarah also keeps shayateen away from you.

  5. Assalaamualaikam

    In addition to the advice above, I'd recommend trying to find a local Islamic studies group or community centre to get involved with - inshaAllah that will allow you to meet other sisters who are interested in learning about Islam, and having friends that inspire you to follow Islam will be helpful. It may also be able to help you find answers to some of your questions about Islam and the Quran. If you are at college or going to university, many such establishments have Muslim students' societies, so you could see if one's available for you to join.

    It's part of being human that we sometimes make mistakes, but Alhamdulillah Allah is Most Merciful; offer repentance for your past sins and trust in Allah's mercy.

    If you wish to make a change and return to practising Islam, then try to change your lifestyle - some people prefer to make big, sweeping changes, but others prefer smaller changes that are then built on over time. Find what works for you, and act so that you are living a lifestyle in accordance with Islamic guidance.

    Midnightmoon
    IslamicAnswers.com editor

  6. "so lose not heart, nor fall in despair, for you will be superior if you are true in faith"
    surat al-i'imran 3:139

    The journey of life often encompasses difficulties, challenges, trials and tribulations. With the right frame of mind and positive attitude we can come out of each “dark tunnel” better, stronger and wiser.

    We have a choice on how we respond to life’s “storms.” Either we can cast blame while becoming resentful and bitter or we can be positive and turn to Allah Ta’ala and exercise patience. Every hurdle we face in life has a meaning and Allah Ta’ala will not expose us to a burden we cannot endure. “Allah does not burden a soul beyond that it can bear…” (Qur’an: 2:286).
    “Great reward comes with great trials. When Allah loves a people, He tests them, and whoever accepts it attains His pleasure, whereas whoever shows discontent with it incurs His wrath.” (Hadith- Tirmidhi)

    “…….If anything befalls you, do not say ‘If only I had done (such and such), the such and such would have happened,’ rather say: ‘Allah has decreed and what He wills He does , for (saying) ‘if only’ opens the door to the work of the shaytaan(devil).” (Hadith-Muslim ).
    As part of our Imaan (faith), we believe that all matters are in the hands of Allah Ta’ala. However, our Imaan can get shaken during times of trials and hardships. It is during such times though that we should remind ourselves that a believer’s position and rank is raised in front of Allah and that such a hardship may very well be a sign of Allah’s love for the believer. This can help us in maintaining and even strengthening our faith.
    Once a boy found a cocoon of a butterfly and took it home. One day a small opening appeared, he sat and watched the butterfly for several hours as it struggled to force its body through that little hole.

    Then it seemed to stop making any progress. It appeared as if it had gotten as far as it could and it could go no farther. Then the boy decided to help the butterfly, so he took a pair of scissors and snipped off the remaining bit of the cocoon. The butterfly then emerged easily.
    But it had a swollen body and small, shriveled wings. The boy continued to watch the butterfly because he expected that, at any moment, the wings would enlarge and expand to be able to support the body, which would contract in time.
    Neither happened!

    In fact, the butterfly spent the rest of its life crawling around with a swollen body and shriveled wings. It never was able to fly.

    What the boy in his kindness and haste did not understand was that the restricting cocoon and the struggle required for the butterfly to get through the tiny opening were Allah Ta’ala's way of forcing fluid from the body of the butterfly into its wings so that it would be ready for flight once it achieved its freedom from the cocoon.

    Sometimes struggles are exactly what we need in our life. If Allah allowed us to go through our life without any obstacles, it would sometimes cripple us. We would not be as strong as what we could have been and possibly never be able to “fly”.

    Sometimes we need heat and warmth to ripen fruit and sometimes cold is needed in certain fruit to complete the ripening process. So exactly is the same in life sometimes we may have to undergo various conditions that may appear to be unfavourable so that we “ripen” and are ready for the onward journey.

    I wise person once said: “ I asked for Strength...And Allah gave me Difficulties to make me strong. I asked for Wisdom...And Allah gave me Problems to solve. I asked for Prosperity...And Allah gave me Brain and Brawn to work. I asked for Courage...And Allah gave me Danger to overcome. I asked for Love...And Allah gave me Underprivileged people to help. I asked for Favours...And Allah gave me Opportunities. I received nothing I wanted ...Yet I received everything I needed!”
    Accepting and enduring our condition and the Divine Decree of Allah Ta’ala can help us in not only shedding burdens of the past but to also win Allah’s pleasure. Suppressing our urge to blame others for the pains that we encounter by maintaining a positive mindset can help us maintain a less stressful life and promote healthy relationships.

    “Nothing befalls a believer, a (prick of a) thorn or more than that, but Allah will raise him one degree in status thereby, or erase a bad deed.” (Hadith-Bukhaari )
    Hardships and trials are part of everyone’s life. The important thing is for us to have the right attitude of trusting Allah and His plans when facing such hardships and trials. During such trying times, always remember that nothing happens without the Will of Allah. Second, we may not know that our trials and hardships may be part of a bigger plan of which we may have only limited knowledge. It’s only at a later stage when the bigger Plans of Allah reveal themselves to everyone. We can see an example of this from the following verse of Qur’an-Surah Yousuf that when the step brothers of Prophet Yousuf (peace be upon him) were taking him to throw him into a dark well, Allah revealed to Prophet Yousuf (AS) that,”Allah will bring about, after hardship, ease.” (Qur’an, 65:7) and this is exactly what happened.

    Allah also reminds us:"…and it may be that you dislike a thing which is good for you and that you like a thing which is bad for you. Allah knows but you do not know." (Qur’an-Surah Baqarah: 216)

    “There is a blessing in calamity that the wise man should not ignore, for it erases sins, gives one the opportunity to attain the reward for patience, dispels negligence, reminds one of blessings at the time of health, calls one to repent and encourages one to give charity and endure.”
    Life is a learning curve and the challenges are there to make us stronger and to condition us and build us emotionally, spiritually and physically for the greater challenges that we will encounter tomorrow. Outwardly circumstances may be perceived as hardships but in reality they may really be blessings in disguise!

  7. "so lose not heart, nor fall in despair, for you will be superior if you are true in faith"
    surat al-i'imran 3:139

    The journey of life often encompasses difficulties, challenges, trials and tribulations. With the right frame of mind and positive attitude we can come out of each “dark tunnel” better, stronger and wiser.

    We have a choice on how we respond to life’s “storms.” Either we can cast blame while becoming resentful and bitter or we can be positive and turn to Allah Ta’ala and exercise patience. Every hurdle we face in life has a meaning and Allah Ta’ala will not expose us to a burden we cannot endure. “Allah does not burden a soul beyond that it can bear…” (Qur’an: 2:286).
    “Great reward comes with great trials. When Allah loves a people, He tests them, and whoever accepts it attains His pleasure, whereas whoever shows discontent with it incurs His wrath.” (Hadith- Tirmidhi)

    “…….If anything befalls you, do not say ‘If only I had done (such and such), the such and such would have happened,’ rather say: ‘Allah has decreed and what He wills He does , for (saying) ‘if only’ opens the door to the work of the shaytaan(devil).” (Hadith-Muslim ).
    As part of our Imaan (faith), we believe that all matters are in the hands of Allah Ta’ala. However, our Imaan can get shaken during times of trials and hardships. It is during such times though that we should remind ourselves that a believer’s position and rank is raised in front of Allah and that such a hardship may very well be a sign of Allah’s love for the believer. This can help us in maintaining and even strengthening our faith.
    Once a boy found a cocoon of a butterfly and took it home. One day a small opening appeared, he sat and watched the butterfly for several hours as it struggled to force its body through that little hole.

    Then it seemed to stop making any progress. It appeared as if it had gotten as far as it could and it could go no farther. Then the boy decided to help the butterfly, so he took a pair of scissors and snipped off the remaining bit of the cocoon. The butterfly then emerged easily.
    But it had a swollen body and small, shriveled wings. The boy continued to watch the butterfly because he expected that, at any moment, the wings would enlarge and expand to be able to support the body, which would contract in time.
    Neither happened!

    In fact, the butterfly spent the rest of its life crawling around with a swollen body and shriveled wings. It never was able to fly.

    What the boy in his kindness and haste did not understand was that the restricting cocoon and the struggle required for the butterfly to get through the tiny opening were Allah Ta’ala's way of forcing fluid from the body of the butterfly into its wings so that it would be ready for flight once it achieved its freedom from the cocoon.

    Sometimes struggles are exactly what we need in our life. If Allah allowed us to go through our life without any obstacles, it would sometimes cripple us. We would not be as strong as what we could have been and possibly never be able to “fly”.

    Sometimes we need heat and warmth to ripen fruit and sometimes cold is needed in certain fruit to complete the ripening process. So exactly is the same in life sometimes we may have to undergo various conditions that may appear to be unfavourable so that we “ripen” and are ready for the onward journey.

    I wise person once said: “ I asked for Strength...And Allah gave me Difficulties to make me strong. I asked for Wisdom...And Allah gave me Problems to solve. I asked for Prosperity...And Allah gave me Brain and Brawn to work. I asked for Courage...And Allah gave me Danger to overcome. I asked for Love...And Allah gave me Underprivileged people to help. I asked for Favours...And Allah gave me Opportunities. I received nothing I wanted ...Yet I received everything I needed!”
    Accepting and enduring our condition and the Divine Decree of Allah Ta’ala can help us in not only shedding burdens of the past but to also win Allah’s pleasure. Suppressing our urge to blame others for the pains that we encounter by maintaining a positive mindset can help us maintain a less stressful life and promote healthy relationships.

    “Nothing befalls a believer, a (prick of a) thorn or more than that, but Allah will raise him one degree in status thereby, or erase a bad deed.” (Hadith-Bukhaari )
    Hardships and trials are part of everyone’s life. The important thing is for us to have the right attitude of trusting Allah and His plans when facing such hardships and trials. During such trying times, always remember that nothing happens without the Will of Allah. Second, we may not know that our trials and hardships may be part of a bigger plan of which we may have only limited knowledge. It’s only at a later stage when the bigger Plans of Allah reveal themselves to everyone. We can see an example of this from the following verse of Qur’an-Surah Yousuf that when the step brothers of Prophet Yousuf (peace be upon him) were taking him to throw him into a dark well, Allah revealed to Prophet Yousuf (AS) that,”Allah will bring about, after hardship, ease.” (Qur’an, 65:7) and this is exactly what happened.

    Allah also reminds us:"…and it may be that you dislike a thing which is good for you and that you like a thing which is bad for you. Allah knows but you do not know." (Qur’an-Surah Baqarah: 216)

    “There is a blessing in calamity that the wise man should not ignore, for it erases sins, gives one the opportunity to attain the reward for patience, dispels negligence, reminds one of blessings at the time of health, calls one to repent and encourages one to give charity and endure.”
    Life is a learning curve and the challenges are there to make us stronger and to condition us and build us emotionally, spiritually and physically for the greater challenges that we will encounter tomorrow. Outwardly circumstances may be perceived as hardships but in reality they may really be blessings in disguise!

  8. Dear sister Sana ,

    I would encourage to refer to below sites

    http://www.irf.net/islam.html

    Please search for Zakir Naik Videos in you tube where he answers many of tricky questions about Islam logically . most of questions about Islam are raised by non Muslims in his talk and he answers them very logically .
    Pray Allah for the Hidayat and to straight path till death ..

    Allah hafiz

  9. your situation is deep and complex one.
    I think I can help you. you can write to me via my email address mfatihbarut gmail
    by the way I am not sure we can give our email addresses in here however your situation is not easy one which can be solved with just one answer in here...

  10. I suggest trying to make dhikr when you are doing housework, or walking somewhere, or whatever. You need only whisper. Try to sit and focus on it at least once a day, after salat. What has worked for me is thinking in my mind that as I say a dua that I am offering up to Allah (SWT) all of my doubts and fears and letting him be the one I depend on for help and with each dua, I try to remember to send my love and gratitude for his protection.

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