Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Losing the Love and Respect for parents.

السلام عليكم و رحمة الله

I have read so many past questions and also the advices given by the commenters and I'm very much impressed with the wisdom, knowledge in islam, and sincerity of some of the commenters. specially brother Wael, Amy, Applegreen and few others.

I have something to share and I seek your thoughts and guidance. I am the second son to my parents. My father retired from his job at the time when we were just studying in high school. Life was not so easy after his retirement, we had to adjust a lot for petty things. I and my elder brother had the sense of responsibility from the beginning and took the responsibility of running the house. My elder brother earns very little but he helped the family with his little money. On the otherhand I am working since 8 years and الحمدلله I am earning good in Riyadh. Since my first job I have been helping my parents with whatever I can. I was alwaysss at the giving end. My hands were always for giving, I never expected or asked for anything from my siblings. I am currently married for 6 years and have 2 beautiful daughters.

I began to notice since a couple of years that my parents don't treat us the way it was before my marriage. they love our younger brother more who is still single. Alhamdulillah, I did not change after my marriage. I remember I have never delayed sending money to them every month in these 8 years. our younger brother deceived us a lot and my parents supported and they are involved in it. I trusted him and left huge cash with him as mom asked me. he cheated me and took away all the cash. I left my wifes gold with my mother and without my permission he sold it. I am heart broken as my parents know this but still they are supporting him. Even my elder brother told me few things that turn me away from my parents.

I visited my country recently and I saw letters written by my father to someone complaining about me, Saying that I became servant of my wife and don't give them money. I am loosing my respect and love for my parents. I don't want to think about them this way but I don't know I am not loving them like I used to before.

I know parents have great place in Islam and I don't want to disrespect them. .... but I simply unable to change my feelings for them.

 

Thank you for your patience...

Raheem

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2 Responses »

  1. I feel for you and know where you coming from. Cut all ties put your family, wife and children first. Time and time I have seen how money changes people, let your brother take responsibility why should you have too regardless. I do feel they taking you for advantage maybe your brother should work so he knows the value of money and responsibilities met. Leave them to it making excuses and lying is not the way walk while you can. You done your bit don't feel guilty. The other thing you should ask is what if it was the other way round would they help you in the crisis of need.

  2. I have a similar issue bro.
    I wish I knew what to do.

    Don't be afraid to live for yourself and wife and kids

    You have to live for them

    Your parents did the same when you were small
    So it should be the same 4 you.

    Don't take offense
    But your parents won't be alive forever.
    And if you keep being their doormat
    You will never achieve your goals.

    Live for your daughters.
    Please.
    Good luck
    Salamalekum.

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