Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Lost motivation to look forward because of my past

past, present, future

Past, present, future.

 

(Editor's note: please see member's previous post: http://www.zawaj.com/askbilqis/hopeless-seeking-dua-death/)

I've written on this site before in hopes of finding a solution to my existing problem. I feel as if certain things have changed over time, but I don't know if my current situation of negativity, hopelessness, depression, and just feeling like giving up will go away.

I am trying to talk to people to get to know them about potential marriage, and it seems like every time I do it's a failure. I'm a divorced girl who is in her late twenties, and almost everyone around me has gotten married or is.

I feel so old and hurt. Some days I just cry, thinking when my life will ever change. I'm sorry for writing here, I can't even tell my mom as she is ill and has heart problems and I don't want to hurt her more because of me and my dad I wasn't ever really emotionally close too. I guess what I'm trying to ask is, what can I do to make my life positive? Sometimes I feel like I'm just living for my parents or family, and maybe just getting a career will make my parents or myself happy.

I feel as if my past haunts me: being divorced,  was in an abusive relationship, cheated on, emotionally abused, met the wrong people and being hurt over and over seems like it just took all the positivity out of me. I don't want to be dependent on someone to bring happiness in my life, but at the same time I haven't really had much luck in the guy area which does depress me.

Sometimes I wonder why Allah brings people in the world if they will have so many problems? There are even times when I have told myself that maybe I won't even have anyone in this life, and then again this life is temporary. I just don't know what's happened to me? I don't understand how rude, heartless,  and conniving people get such caring, loving, and devoted partners; and when it comes to honest people who want good for others and care for others, they just have it so hard.

I really need your help brothers and sisters, please tell me what it is that I can do to make myself a good person to talk to. I don't think I lack anything when it comes to conversation, but I guess my patience is diminishing when it comes to motivation about hope, positivity and really thinking if I'll ever really meet "the one?"

Thank you,

-noorkh786

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38 Responses »

  1. AsSalamu Alaikum Sister,

    I am very sorry to read about your story. It's really very sad-May Allah ease your hardships.

    However, one thing I know I can say is that, do not allow what is happening to you affect your iman in Allah, instead you should accept everything as a test from Allah, and then try to improve your relation with Him. Be ready to leave everything of this Dunya behind you, and focus on your Ibada alone. This is really hard to accept, but it really helps many times when one can accept it. Let Allah know that even though He has taken away everything from you, but yet you didn't forget Him. Just make your Ibada everything you need, and then leave your Dunya matters to Allah, and then be ready to accept whatever He wills for you, whether good or bad. The hereafter is better than this Dunya.

    Isn't the story of Prophet Ayoub (s.a.w.s) enough for us?

    Delighted, Iblis gathered his helpers and set about destroying Ayoub (A)’s cattle, servants and farms, depriving him of all his possessions. Then in the guise of a wise old man he approached him and said:

    "All your wealth is lost. Some people say that it is because you gave too much charity and that you are wasting your time with your continuous prayers to Allah. Others say that Allah has brought this upon you in order to please your enemies. If Allah had the capacity to prevent harm, then He would have protected your wealth."

    Steadfast in his faith, Ayoub (A) replied: "What Allah has taken away from me belongs to Him. I was only its trustee for a while. He gives to whom He wills and withholds from whom He wills,” and he prostrated before his Lord.

    Please read more here

    http://www.iqrasense.com/islamic-history/lessons-learned-from-the-story-of-prophet-ayoub-job-a.html

    May Allah ease your pain, and may He fulfil your needs, Ameen, Ameen, Ameen!!!

  2. Sister,

    I read your story too and your life is very sad. This people (guys) always think, that they can do anything to you (abusing, cheating on and playing with your feelings), because they eventually pray, go to Hajj or know more than you about the religion.

    Sister, you must find someone pious, which knows the pain you are going through.
    The best thing is to pray to God and while you do knee down to God (SACDA) and ask God for a really pious man.

    I think, there are many hyporcrities, who think, they can violate someone's right and get away with this.

    Sister believe me, you are better then them, because all they do is void in front of God as long they hurt people and don't ask them for forgiveness.

    I can understand through which hell you are going too in some way, but never give up Sister. Be strong and try to get trust to people and show the people around, that you are adorable and noble person, which can't be thrown away. Show your Ex Husband, what he has lost with his action. Believe me you are better then him.

    To all my friends, which are hurt by someone, be strong and get out and get stronger.

    From my experience I know, that no one in this world will tell you :"You are a special."

    Therefore you must get stronger and show them, that you are noble and a saliha women.

    Don't give up Sister, you are special and God will help you out

    And brother Wael... it's me again, D.

    I am back...

    • Salaam,

      Thank you for all your nice thoughts and time for writing this out. May Allah bless all of you

      • Salam Sister,

        in your next marriage you should find someone who is practicing and his character is ok.
        I mean, if you search someone, who earns a lot, but absuses you and so on it won't help you.
        And money is something, that everybody can lose. Therefore don't look what he earns, what he owes, but look, if you can like him and co...

        Beauty is very important, but not the factor no. 1, because someone could lose this beauty with getting older, that in will not hold you to the marriage.

        Yeah in this time it's really hard to find someone, who is like this. I mean there are a lot womenizer which get married and we know the results...

        Therefore make Dua to Allah and love Allah, because we fear Allah, because we don't want to get far away from Allah, but we love Allah, because we fear, that he won't accept us...

        Allah loves us and always wants the best for us, therfore we should show Allah, that we love Allah too.

        How do we show our love?
        1. We pray
        2. We spent money
        3. We do Hajj
        4. We follow his rules which are stated in Quran and Sunnah

        Then Allah will show you his Mercy and show you your next Husband Insallah

        • @no apologie

          salaam,

          Marriage is so far away from thought, Ive lost hope.
          Forgot wut it feels like being cared for or in a nice relationship.
          Honestly, I have left to Allah and my parents.
          Idk anymore:(

  3. Salam Alikum Sister noor
    Hope you're doing better Insha Allah

    I made Duaa for you my dear May Allah bring happiness, satisfaction, and blessings to your life 🙂

    Sister DO NOT BLAME YOURSELF ..
    If something bad happened because of other people, then it's because of them, it's THEIR fault not you!
    so sister just try to get over it .. and to do that you HAVE TO TRUST YOURSELF.
    All of us want to improve ourselves to be better persons, but when we do that we have to do it for OURSELVES and for the sake of ALLAH, not for other people. Do it for your self sister 🙂
    If you have free time, find something useful you like and start doing it right away .. trust me sister free time + shitan are capable to make you feel the way you feel now, so you have to use this time in something effective that you LOVE 🙂

    and Sister, BE SURE, when hard times pass through our life, INDEED, good times will follow Insha Allah. and those hard times are what makes us know the real value of the good times which makes us grateful and satisfied.

    It's a promise from Allah Noor,
    {For indeed, with hardship [will be] ease.
    Indeed, with hardship [will be] ease.} (Quran 94:5-6)

    In mean time, I suggest you to read this book, I am sure Insha Allah it will be of a great help to you sister 🙂
    http://www.islamhouse.com/51732/ar/en/books/%D9%84%D8%A7_%D8%AA%D8%AD%D8%B2%D9%86

    I wish we can be friends 🙂 and I hope to hear you got better Insha Allah
    Keep Duaa sister, talk to Allah, He's the one who can BEST help you

    Take care

    Salam Alikum

  4. Salaam sister,

    Thank you for your message. I am doing much better alhamdulillah.
    Your words, message really had a lot of thought and emphasis put in it and I really appreciate. you for writing it.

    I have definitely gotten a lot better from when I first wrote the July post, or even this one cuz this is from August.
    My mom always says one things and its so true, time never stays the same and thats so true and then of course the ayah u quoted.

    I wish we can be friends too, try clicking on my avatar? May Allah bless u for ur duas and help all those in need AMeen summa ameen tc

    ws

  5. Salaam sis. I'd like to share some of my personal thoughts and philosophies about life with you, in the hope that it might help or motivate you somewhat. Well to start with, I'm from a typical South Asian society where a girl, no matter how educated, is typically considered a social outcast, if she doesn't have a 'Mrs' at the end of her name by her mid twenties maximum. And if for some reason the marriage doesn't work out..'tut tut tut'...the aunties go, while having their cups of tea, 'poor thing..how ill fated she and her parents are!'.It doesn't matter to them how miserable the girl was in her marriage, or if her husband or inlaws treated her like dirt.Guy gets divorced?Why, he just gets another wife after a few months.Girl gets divorced?She and her parents have to bear the brunt of the whispers of being 'ill fated'.And Allah created women to be more sensitive and soft hearted than men, its just how we are, so naturally the girl takes it more to heart.Why is this?Because I belong to a society that worships sons.In many families, even educated ones, the guy and his family can literally get away with murder.But one thing that comes to my mind again and again and again, after observing society around me, and especially after coming on this site, is why the heck is a girl who gets away from an abusive,controlling husband ILL FATED??Sis, each person is special in some way or the other and Allah has given us only one life to prove it.I think living your life in misery, under the shadow of a bully is WAY too big a price to pay, just for the entitlement of having a frickin' Mrs at the end of your name.

    Now, what happens in most cases is, the parents of the girl do not realize this.Sorry to say this, but the older generation are pretty rigid and traditional in their thinking.They bewail and bemoan their fate and demoralize their daughter to the degree that she feels that her life is over.All for the sake of society which comprises of nosy,silly aunties whose minds are a shallow box, who enjoy nothing more than a good scandal, which for them is food for gossip.What the parents of the girl SHOULD be doing is saying to the girl, 'Listen hon, it was a bad experience for us all, but we thank Allah for delivering you from such people and giving you a chance to start life anew.Now you must stay strong and try to build a life for yourself and try to be independent for yourself (and for children, if there are any), and we will support you 100% in doing this, and we don't care what people say, and you shouldn't either.' But most parents don't think like this.And the girl, by feeling herself a burden and 'ill fated' doesn't realize by suffering this way and thinking this way, she is becoming a party to the traditional,desi thinking that prevails in society and is so, so wrong.Because if one doesn't speak out or act against a wrong, one becomes a party to it too.Is this type of thinking what we want to transfer to our younger generation?

    So what should a girl do, under such circumstances?She should RISE ABOVE.Allah has given made each and every one of us unique, and given us talents that probably no other person has.And those talents shouldn't be dormant or have any thing to do with a girl's marital status, should it?So my advice to you is : get strong.Go out there in the wide, wide world and create a special niche for yourself.Are you studying?Then do the very best you can in your studies, and then move on to a good career.Do you have a job?Then no matter how small it is, do it to the best of your abilities, try to save up, inorder to be financially independent and then try to go for higher studies.Work hard.Be self sufficient.Rely only on Allah and your own self.Stay focused.Stay calm.Learn to appreciate ourself, for if you don't, no one will.Treat yourself in small ways for every small milestones that you have achieved,Go watch movies with your friends.Read some good book.Eat lots of chocolates.Exercise regularly.Pray five times a day and recite the Quran with translation.Understand Islam and try to practice it.And you and all other sisters like you WILL be happy eventually if you do this, and so will your parents, 'cause all parents rejoice in their children's happiness IRRESPECTIVE of their marital status.If you meet a faithful,loving,pious man who treats you with respect and affection then well and good.But please don't make your life about meeting 'the one'.( This reminds me of a picture I saw somewhere saying : Being single is working out really well for me.I think I'm the one ) 🙂

    Sis, I'm in my mid twenties and unmarried. Seeing the circumstances of girls around who have had a rotten marital experience, girls who are pretty and well educated and capable and pious, I do get really scared sometimes that what if God forbid, something like this happens to me?Then I pray to Allah to save me from this and if God forbid, something like this is written in my Qadr, to make me strong enough to withstand every difficulty that may lie in my future, and if being a spinster is written in my fate, to make me a happy, productive, independent spinster.This will also be the advice I give to my daughter, if I ever have one.

    Lastly sis, I want to remind you that one day you and I will also get old and become 'aunties'. And I really wish that our generation of women become the sort of aunties that, if we hear that a girl has had a divorce from a bad husband, instead of 'tut tutting' in a pitying way, we say 'well good for her! She doesn't deserve a rotten egg like that!' and pray for her future happiness and independence.Wish you all the best in life, sis and hope to see happy posts from you in the future, Insha'Allah!

    • Mashallah Sister,

      Your words are inspiration for me too. I am divorced too. I get all the aunty ji's tut tutting around me too! And it drives me insane. I don't even like to face these people. I agree with every word you say. Some peoples attitudes have changed but the majority of elders its still the same unfortunately!

      • @ Sumaira : The best thing you can do for yourself and your children if you have any, is to STOP CARING ABOUT WHAT PEOPLE SAY. It's your life, far too precious to be spent ruminating about what people who don't even matter, say.Don't be rude to anyone, but simply stop caring.And live your live to the fullest, savour each moment. May Allah grant you happiness and tranquility in life, Ameen!

    • I agree with sister Sumaira, well-said by sister Mystic.

      Sister Noorkh786,

      I remember reading that Allah may not answer all our du'as in this world, but they do not go unheard. The du'as that are not answered in this world are being kept track of, each and every one of them.

      I also read that:

      According to a hadith on the day of Judgement the Mustajab ud Da’waat (the caller) will say “I wish none of our duas were ever accepted in the duniya and instead were answered in the akhira” as what the person will get will be a lot more precious.

      I always find a great deal of peace knowing that each one of our Du'as is being heard, and if unanswered/or not compensated for in this world, they will be in the next. So do not despair and continue to ask Allah swt--do not despair.

      May Allah ease your pain and help you through these difficult times, inn shaa Allah. Ameen.

      • I am sorry to say but Mystic has made some very inappropriate statements. There are massive and sweeping generalizations which are incredibly inaccurate.

        Unfortunately, there are women like mystic who will never be happy with anything. All they do is bash their culture and exaggerate some bad habits out of proportion.

        Next time, try to be more balanced and rational. Making these sort of generalizations will only harm you in the long run.

        • @ aaaa: Salaam.Could you please specify which statements of mine you found inappropriate and irrational and grossly generalized and inaccurate? Please note that I started off my comment by saying that these are my own personal thoughts and philosophies and observations, which are not a word of law. After I read your comment, I reread my own comment inorder to understand what exactly you found so offensive and I think probably you thought that I was blaming all failed marriages in society on the guy and his family.Please let me clarify that this is not the case and I am fully aware that in many cases it is the guy and his family who is the victim, and in some cases it's the fault of both parties as well.However IN MY PERSONAL OBSERVATION AND JUDGEMENT, WHICH DOES NOT NECESSARILY HAVE TO BE OTHER PEOPLE'S PERCEPTION AS WELL, out of approximately 50 cases of divorce that I have seen and heard of in my life, approximately 35 of them were due to the girl having an abusive, dominant husband and in laws, which make a majority, so I used words such as 'typical' and 'most cases' in my comments.But I am always receptive to constructive criticism, and willing to accept my error, provided the one criticizing gives a valid reason for the criticism.

          However,I take extreme exception to your comment :'Unfortunately, there are women like mystic who will never be happy with anything. All they do is bash their culture and exaggerate some bad habits out of proportion.' If you can say something like that about me just by reading my post then forgive me, but you are the one guilty of making grossly generalized, irrational and inappropriate comments.I do not want to make this into an argument about who is right or wrong,because that would lead nowhere and be unfair to the OP, and I do not want this thread to explode, the way other threads have.But please if you have to criticize me, do it in a polite way.There are many thing I love about my South Asian culture and tradition.But many things I don't and in my opinion, the things you describe as 'bad habits exaggerated out of proportion' are often responsible for ruining people's lives.And I think it is the younger generations responsibility to retain the good in our culture but try to change the bad as well.

          I hope we can have a calm and mature discussion on this, instead of an argument with name calling.

        • @aaaa:

          I think there is a very valid reason and a good point as to why mystic bought up the topic that she did.

          yes there are a lot of ignorant idiots in our culture that make ppl say this and can u blame them?

          I dont think she said anything that was way out of proportion. Its time that the Eastern thinking changes so that women like us dont feel bad at this extent.

          Unfortunately, there will be ppl like you I dont know if you're a women or a man but can t seem to understand what women like us really have to face. We shud live our lives by our religion and NOT follow everything by our cultural teachings cuz astaghfurullah our kids and generations will learn this crap.

      • @Saba:

        Thank you for sharing sister. This does give me some hope and yes a muslim shouldnt concentrate only on living in this world.

        I just wish Allah wud bless us the way He has blessed others with nice spouses or good loving life partners Ameen.

        Thank you for ur kind words and duas, Ameen

    • @Mystic:

      Salaam and thank you so much for sharing such wonderful advice.
      Ive learned to accept many things in life and move on I guess thats the best way to put it.
      I am progessing alhamdulillah in my educational career but when it comes to personal life Im sure many of us that are divorced dont really know where its going.

      I see that all the "bad" ppl or who have done wrong to others get married so easily and Ive learned to accept that too cuz I clearly have no other choice... I mean what else can u do rite? Its the nice ppl or sum that really have to be tested a lot.

      I wish Allah cud make it easier for those that are in situations similar to mine or urs. I dont know whats His reasoning only He knows but at times I do feel like will I end up dying alone? Or is my life gna be meant to live single? If others have gotten married and live happily why hasnt that happened to me yet.

      Trust me its not easy especially when we live in a society full of such evil ppl that seem to get everything and then we wonder?

      My biggest question to someone highly knowledgable in Islam is why do ppl that suffer a lot have to wait so much?

      just recently my cuzin first cuzin got married last week. She met a guy, she wasnt he nicest person but is the same age as me and all, but sumhow I feel like this worlds becoming more and more backwards.

      Theres times wen I think dying is better than living in all this pain. :(((( If im alive I think Im alive becuz of my parents or I really dont know why Allah has chosen to keep me alive for this long with so many tests. May He make it easy cuz I have no more patience.

      • Salaam sis. I'm not someone highly knowledgeable in Islam, but again I would share my personal opinion about the question you asked: that why people who are evil and not very nice, seem to get everything, and why people who haven't ever hurt a soul in their lives have to go through so much.

        Actually, there I would look at it from a different perspective than you.In my experience, people who are genuinely mean and evil generally DO get a taste of their own medicine, sooner or later, sometime in life, even though at first it may seem that everything is going their way.In high school, there were a bunch of girls who were my classmates, who were extremely big bullies. They would ridicule and mock anyone who they considered to be 'uncool' and literally make life hell for that victim, for no good reason. They would gossip and backbite, even about their own best friends, to anyone who would listen .Back then, they were literally the queens of the school, (you know, that 'cheerleader' type group you see in the movies :p) .Fast forward 10 years later, I don't see anyone of them happy..(failed relationships, clashes with inlaws, in acute depression etc).Although I won't go as far as to say they deserved it, only Allah knows best, and I hope things pick up for them..but I hope you get my point.And this I have seen time and time again : guys who play around with girls or husbands or inlaws who are cruel to their wives/daughter in laws, generally often do get a taste of their own medicine, through their sisters or daughters or family life, in one way or the other sometime onwards in their life.Its really very true, that what goes around, comes around.Sons and Daughter in laws who are cruel and neglectful to their parents are often the ones whose children leave them in old age.Even though it may seem to the world at first that everything is going their way, but often it is not.That's what I have seen, in any case.God works in mysterious ways, truly.

        As to why good people suffer the most...well, this world is rapidly turning into a 'dog eat dog' world.it's either eat or be eaten.And more and more, I see that parents teach their children to toughen up to survive a world that can be cruel and heartless, instead of teaching them how to make the world a little less cruel and heartless by good behavior and values.And goodness and sincerity in a person is often taken for weakness and foolishness, that's why many people try to step on such people..and succeed as well.And good people often can't do anything about it..except bleed inside.So my advice would be to be strong enough, to say 'no' and resist those people who try to step on you and oppress you, and yet retain your moral values at the same time.

        Suffering, emotional pain..is again a matter of perspective.It can be the most difficult disease in the world to overcome, yet there is only one person in the world who can overcome it, and that is you, yourself.No one can heal you, except you, yourself and Allah.And everyone suffers, sis.As I grow older, I realize this more and more, sometime in life there is not one person I know, who hasn't suffered like hell for one reason or the other.It's how they deal with it that defines them, and the shape of their lives.There is this family that my family knows, whose son had a very distinguished and promising military career.But then, he lost his leg in battle, due to which his chances of further promotion seemed nil, and his wife divorced him due to this and married again.Can you imagine what hell he must have gone through?But see again the wonder of Allah..he DID get promoted, again and again,through his hard work and good character, rose to even greater heights in his career, remarried to a lovely, wonderful lady and is now living in happiness and peace.His ex wife?got divorced again to the guy she married after her first one.Allah has given you a sound mind and body and you told that your education is progressing, Alhumdullilah.I'd just say, all good things come to those who wait.Work hard, do good, trust in Allah, be patient, be strong enough to resist those who try to step on you, count your blessings, small as they may seem to you.And see what happens.

        Again I'd stress that I am no scholar of Islam and these are just my personal views, that I shared to answer your question.Sorry if they offend anyone in anyway.Best of luck to you sis, may you find happiness and tranquility.

        • Another thought tacked onto me while writing the previous post, thought I'd share it too.It just occurred to me that there comes a time in each one of our lives, when we have to face a choice, to stay inside or come out of our 'comfort' zone.And 'comfort zone' to so many of us, means to conform to society's norms, to stay invisible, to stay quiet, just because it seems like the easiest and safest thing to do.So many of us, rot inside, waste our lives in quiet misery,thinking that because of the mercilessness of the world, we are weak and useless, we can't do anything, so its hopeless to even try.BUT, I just thought, what would have happened if the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) had been like that?He was surrounded in a sea of idolatory and evil.And he was no king, nor even influential, just an ordinary man,living an ordinary life, before prophethood came to him.And he was persecuted ,tortured, humiliated publically in a time even by his own relatives when there were no such things as police or government laws to protect him.There must have been so many times when he must have felt so,so,so alone and defenseless and afraid, he must have felt like giving up too,a hundred times, and staying inside his 'comfort zone'.But he didn't, he didn't give up , he resisted his fear and as a result, Islam was born.There are so many other examples, Galileo, Einstein, who were humiliated, mocked by society, went through horrible periods in their lives, but they didn't give up and now the world is richer for their efforts.J.K Rowling wrote Harry Potter in a time of acute depression in her life.

          My point is, sis, you must not hold back on your fear or how you think society might perceive you.Who knows, you might be the next big writer, or poet, or motivational speaker or scientist, or economist????And even if you're not, you should always try to think outside the box, aim high and reach for the stars, try to find a good purpose to your life and when you do, your mind will be beyond such mundane things as divorce or marriage (although I always pray that you do find a excellent life partner, just don't make that the sole pivot of your happiness).Hope what I'm saying makes sense to you, and I don't sound too crazy 🙂

  6. All women are still too young and important in the sight of real men, who are lucky to understand the many secrets Allah has placed in all women, regardless of their backgrounds and ages - When the Prophet (s.a.w.s) understood many of the secrets, he was able to enjoy all types of women.

    So, do not give up at all. Keep on moving with many hopes. Let the men know you have no time for them at all. You have other things that are more important to care about (which is Allah and other interesting things in your life). This in itself could be like a teasing for men, and they will come after you in multitudes, and beg you to accept their marriage proposals (when you see that reject them all if you like).

    Just keep the door of marriage opened and allow it to be aware by everyone. However, do not make it sound as something you really need for survival in this life.

    Do not make yourself sound distress or insane or even lose motivation because of men. Relax and be strong within yourselves. You are so precious in life, and that is true. Do as your sister (Mystic) has adviced you. Find enjoyment in many other things in life, and continue building your strong relation between you and Allah.

    You see Prophet Ayyub (s.a.w.s), when he over looked down upon the things that he lost, and made them less important, and then made Allah the most important, Allah gave him double of what he lost. But how did he do it? He first made those things less important in his sight, and then he made Allah, the only thing he needed and wanted. However, (after many adversities and patience), he complained to Allah just once, and it was like a command to Allah, which Allah has been waiting to hear from his beloved servant for so long. He didn't even ask Allah for a replacement, he only complained about the distress that has seized him entirely, and then he left the rest of the matters to Allah, and then Allah took care of them perfectly. Alhamdulillah.

    Allah (s.w.t) says:

    "And (remember) Ayyub (Job), when he cried to his Lord: ‘Verily, distress has seized me, and You are the Most Merciful of all those who show mercy.’ So We answered his call, and We removed the distress that was on him, and We restored his family to him (that he had lost) and the like thereof along with them as a mercy from Ourselves and a Reminder for all those who worship Us” (Al-Anbiya 21:83-84).

    Dunya can be a very sweet place when you can understand how to drive it well.

    This is my sincere motivation for you, my precious little girls - keep it up. May Allah help you.

    • "my precious little girls" -lol, It always makes me laugh to hear it at my age. Masha'Allah...but don't do it again. Your gentle heart may be mistaken for something else -lol

    • Wow. Such beatiful motivating words. Its really nice to hear from brothers giving sisters so much assurance and showing them how valuable and special they are. Its true women should not be desperately waiting for the handsome prince but just be happy being a beautiful princess and enjoying the other pleasures of life.

    • Assalam alaikum,

      JazakAllah Brother! Motivational not just for the OP, but all of us.

    • @Issah:

      Thank you very much for sharing, that is some very sound information right there gives my heart some peace thank you.

      There is something my mom always tells me and it seems to stick in my mind. Just like how you mentioned the example of Prophet Ayoub (AS) my mind finds peace wen I just leave it all to Allah.

      There is only certain capacity that one can think or take. Yes, we all get disheartened and I know do a lot especially wen seeing these kind of things happening around me but its just best to leave it to Him like you said. Very glad you shared this.

      thanks!

      • Alhamdulillah Sister Noor.

        I am glad to hear this from you. Keep up with the namaaz and meditation as you mentioned somewhere in another forum (Namaaz while meditating and looking at ONLY the side that has the Grace of Allah and His Mercy upon you, and while acting to ignore one's pains and distresses, leads to feeling the complete tawakkul- reliance on Allah and attaining the complete yaqeen- certainty).

        The message I was trying to deliver has finally got to you, Alhamdulillah. If you continue this way, you will definitely come back here someday, and tell us a different story InshaAllah.

        Even though I may not response to you much, but rest assured that you and my other brothers and sisters are always in our du'as. May Allah help you and us all! Ameen.

  7. [Editor's note: Please submit your question as a new post for publication rather than as a comment on an existing post. That way it can be published and answered in turn, inshaAllah.]

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