Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Lots of problem since leaving university

successful-Islamic-life

Assalmu alyakum

I have had a lot of problems since day before I was born.

My dad was always giving grief to my mum. Whenever things didn't go right for him he would call her names and show her up in front of people and he still does it today.

I personally have had a tough childhood I have suffered from bullying in primary school and mum has always supported me where as the school and my dad weren't bothered.

I did well in high school with the help of extra tuition. I went to college to study health and social care as I wanted to go to university to become an operating department practitioner.

Things were going well I wasn't a practising Muslim before until I went to university and I saw what the world was coming to I thank Allah for changing me.

So I went to university to study BSc operating department practise. Where as my dad was ungrateful that I even managed to get a place at uni as he wanted me to become a gas engineer.

Thing's didn't go well in the first year of university I was having trouble remembering stuff. I also became severely ill and was in hospital for sometime. It wasn't until I went to my shaykh that I found out someone had done black magic on me because they don't want me to succeed in anything in life and anything. My shaykh advised me to do ruqya and gave me duaas read and pray the quran. My shaykh confirmed it wasn't anyone from my mothers side whos done it. But I know roughly who is involved as they are from my fathers side - I highly suspect its my grandmother and my uncles wife as they don't like the fact that if I have any issues and when they backbite about me or my mum or anyone in the family I say it straight up to them and support the family member rather then them. As I am the type of guy who doesn't like to backbite about anyone. Also the fact that they've secretly never liked me and the fact that I stick up for people when they speak bad about them and they've never liked my mum. Other reasons include avoid eating at their house and hardly communicate with them as I struggle to speak their language and hate the fact I continuosly vist my shaykh for advise and solutions. Because I dont have any evidence (apart from constantly talking to people in India which now a days its not hard to get black magic done from over the phone and collecting the umbilical cord and hair from when a child is born in the family and saying "we'll bury it in the ground"). I can't say how it is to them and I don't want to sever relationships with them. Sometimes I cant stand them I feel like saying everything to them but I keep patient.

To this day I still have black magic upon me it comes and goes. I still continue to visit my shaykh and do dua that I hope that Allah will break the magic.

So with all what happening at university and being Ramadan time. I told my parents what was happening my mum was supportive but my dad was completely the opposite. He was saying it's my fault, all this black magic is a load of cobbles and it's all in my head. He cursed me as well and showed me up in front of everybody saying I've left university because I couldn't hack it.

So I decided I would look apprenticeships and look for a job at the same time being 20 years old. I had a look at all sorts of apprenticeship including IT, plumbing, dental and pharmacy and I've had quite a few interviews but no reply. I have also applied for job whilst being on jobseekers but it's really hard to get a job. Which my dad doesn't understand.

But my dad thinks I'm sat home all day doing nothing. He continously curses me and hasn't spoken to me since ramzan even though I've tried he doesn't want to know me. He puts me down infront of everybody and my uncles support my dad even though majority of the time he's in the wrong. He even said to if you don't like it you know where the door is hinting to get out of his house.

I feel sometime's I wish I wasn't born, I wish I was dead, and feel as though no one understands what I'm going though. It's even lead me to self- harm.

My dad is only bothered about money all time because my cousins are working and helping there dad's pay for bills. My dad's wants me to get a job any job. But when I look for a job he's like don't look for dead end ones.

Even though I pray my namaz, make duaa and do what I can to help my mum and other people I still feel like no-one understands what I'm going through, depressed, lonely and that everyone is doing better than me.

Don't know what to do with my life.

Would someone give us some advice on what to do in this situation

Jazak Allah Hu khair

Anon780


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30 Responses »

  1. Salaam brother,
    Sorry to hear wht ur going thrugh. I know exactly how ur feeling and how painfull it is. May allah reward u for ur patients and all the pain u,ve suffered. U know wht?? I think u shuld be happy at least ur mum is sapporting u. Ur mum is in ur side. Which is great!!

    I know how ur feeling about ur dad and how hes behivouring with u. Indead its very painfull and hard to just ignor. I would say brother, be more patient, pray to allah, never give up hoping and tryig for a better future. Plz Dont harm urself as it will not do much for u or changing ur dad's thoughts about u. By doing that U will only creat more problms for ur self. Pluse its not allaowed in islam. If u have no one then talk to ur mum. Share ur feelings with her. Plz be strong and belive in allah. Inshaallah he will reward u either in this world or in hereafter. I honistly dont belive in balck magic so dont really know wht to say about that. I hope i made u feel a bit better and hepled u in someway.

    • JazakAllah for your reply I am happy and grateful that my mum has supported me throughout my life I wouldn't know what I would have done without her and I have spoken to her and she understands what I'm going through as well as her and my other siblings. I even continue to thank her everyday. There is no-one in this world who could take my mother's place.

      I have stopped self harming alhamduliah.

      • Since this last post I did get an IT apprenticeship. Alhadulilah I thought it was going well for me. It went well for the first few months then my employer terminated my contract due confidence level being down.

        My college was annoyed with the employer and so was I as I didn’t think I had an issue with confidence.

        So I went on a customer service course and even they have stated they’re is nothing wrong with me confidence wise.

        So I spoke to the same college again they agreed it wasn’t a confidence issue as they said I seem confident and didn’t have an issue with me at all. The college thought my employer only did this because they know as an apprentice the company receives finding from the government.
        So once they received their funding they let me go.

        I was really pissed off sorry about my language about this issue as this is twice I’ve lost my job once at uni and now on something that I though was good for me and I’m annoyed that I’m back on jobseekers again. That’s the last place I wanted to go back to.

        The only good thing I can say is alhamdulilah my dad has calmed down he’s realised his mistakes he made. He does duaa for me everyday that I do get a good job/ IT apprenticeship. Were on speaking terms and getting on really great.

        But I’m getting really frustrated and angry because I’ve sent so many applications and so many companies as far as I can go. But they either reject me or dont bother to get back.

        I feel as though that’s what I only want to do is an IT apprenticeship may be become a technician or and engineer in IT. I’m really pursuing this role and will not stop until I get it.

        People have told me try something else but I’m insisting that this is what I want to do and no- one is going to stop me.

        But I’m getting really annoyed as I’ve sent applications as far as I can go and still I either dont get a reply or get rejected.

        I’m doing duaa and tobah as much as I can after every namaaz, I’ve even kept nafl fast as well.

        I dont know what else I can do. I know at the end of the day Allah has already written what my destiny is. I am trying to keep as much patience as possible.

        But I’m getting really frustrated that everyone in my family is better off then me. And no I’m not jealous of them alhamdulilah Allah has blessed them, I also do pray to Allah that more blessings shower upon them.

        People have also spoke to my dad asking if I’m ready to get married and they know people who are interested. As much as I’d love too, I can’t because I dont have a stable career or no job. How can I support her financially even if I did decide to get married. Even if she was financially capable of supporting herself I would feel too ashamed to be staying home looking for jobs whereas I should be financially supporting her.

        Because of these issues I’ve been anxious a lot and not been getting enough sleep and been staying up late night and only sleep after fajar till about 9-10ish in the morning.

        I feel as though something is holding me back from reaching my full potential. I can smell that I just need a bit of luck an employer to just take a shot on me and I can prove to them how good I am.

        Even people in my family and my friends feel sorry for me for what I’ve been through career wise.

        Dont know what more I can do. I’m trying not to give up and being really persistent in what I want to do career wise and in praying my namaaz on time and doing duaa after namaaz.

        Just need some more advice if its possible. I would appreciate it.

  2. Dear Anon780,

    Sorry to hear about your situation but in shaa Allah it will get better.

    My suggestion is start doing some voluntary work. Voluntary work enhances one's cv. You will.come across proactive and able to work with people.

    At the same time look for job. Don't worry or care if the standard of job you are applying does not meet your respected father's expectations or anyone elses. Your goal should be to get any job - let this even be a job in mc donalds, primark, receptionest etc. You need stand up on your two own feet and slowly pave yourself up the ladder.

    Also find out where you are going wrong when you are applying for jobs? Is it to do with structure or content of your cv? And tbe interviews tbat you did attended call those recruiters/ organisation and ask them to tell you where you went wrong in the interview that you did not succeed? Try to attend a cv clinic and in sha Allah they may help you out.

    Also another reason ppl don't tend pass interviews is because they are not dressed well, they mumble in interviews or don't give eye contact etc...

    But whatever be reason keep on applying and applying and in shaa Allah someone will hire you. I remember when I was failing tonnes of interviews - the feeling was terrible but then Alhamdulillah eventually I found a really good job. Don't get negative.

    Also regarding your family relationship try not to be too outspoken or each time trying to correct people. Try to understand that's how some people are (gossip type). You just need to focus on your own shortcomings instead of fixing ppl up.

    Furthermore, I am not too sure about this black.magic thing. I know black magic exists but sometimes giving it too much focus or attention of yours may divert you from real or actual situation. Instead of constantly going to your shykh about this matter instead try to mend your relationship with your father or your father's relatives.

    I hope you found my advice beneficial and may Allah swt make it easy for you, ameen.

    Your sister,

    - Me

    • JazakAllah for your reply and advice.
      I have attended many CV workshops and interview workshops to try and help me with confidence and other skills.

      Masha Allah I have passed many interview's with companies but don't seem to get a reply from them to say whether I have got the job or not. I do many thing's before and at the interview like research in to the company, preperation, eye contact, dressing smartly etc.
      Even 2 rakat nafl namaz.

      I am currently doing a voluntary job at my local job centre as well to build my CV.

      I have also tried speaking to my dad on numerous occasions but he doesn't speak to me. Although I do speak to his relatives.

      I have to usually see my shaykh once a week because my treatment is ongoing as the magic that has been done it goes away and comes back. I have tried to no focus on this as much and not let it interfeer with my life. But he has given me advice such as may be getting cupping done, reading quran daily etc
      He's told me insha Allah it is through the will of Allah and only Allah can cure you.

  3. And please read this:

    "I failed 3 times in college. I applied 30 times to get a job but I have always been rejected. When KFC came to China for the first time, we were 24 to apply and I was the only one to be dismissed. I wanted to go into the police and {there were} 5 applicants, I was the only one not to be accepted. I applied 10 times to return to Harvard University USA and I was rejected. " - Jack Ma

    Jack Ma is the Creator of Alibaba and 22nd in the list of the World's wealthiest individuals according to Forbes in 2015 with $ 29.8 billion.

    So, never give up because you failed before or the world cannot see your brilliance, know that failure is sometimes necessary to reach your intended end-goal!! As a matter of fact that same failure can be the fuel that drives you to your ultimate success. Give yourself permission to be different. Allow failure to be your fuel. - Bjorn Christian Martinoff

  4. You should go to a better aalim for the ruqyah done on you for the black magic if you suspect it. Dont think about it so much but if you suspect that black magic is done on you then you should go to a good aalim to cure yourself.

    • Jazak Allah for your reply I can confirm to you that I have had 2 other shaykhs confirm it is black magic what has been done upon me.

      My shaykh that I visit is a very good shaykh he is constantly studying and never has he asked anyone for money as he said to me he only does it to seek the pleasure of Allah subhana wataalah. He has however told me you can lessen the effects of black magic by eating ajwa dates and drinking a glass milk in the morning, staying in wudu, praying quran and namaz, drinking zam zam water etc. But ultimately the cure lies only with Allah and only he can cure you so continuously make duaa to Allah.

  5. PRAYER AT THE MOSQUE AND READING QURAN DAILY AND EXERCISING SILENCE AND PATIENCE. ..BUT TALK IN A SOFT AND NICE RESPONSE. ....IMAN IS WEAK BECAUSE ENVIRONMENT IS WEAK....GO TO THE MOSQUE TAKE PART IN ALL ACTIVITIES LEARN DEEN CORRECTLY... LEARN SALAT PROPERLY ...KEEP AWAY FROM ALL EVILS BECAUSE THIS IS THE DOWNFALL FOR MOST. ....JOIN THE TABLIGH JAMAAT...I CALL THIS THE MADRESSAH ON WHEELS FOR ALL PEOPLE WHO DIDN'T BECOME A SCHOLOR.THERE YOU WILL LEARN AND PUT IT INTO PRACTICE...LEARN THE WAY TO GIVE DAWAH...YOU WILL SEE YOUR LIFE WILL CHANGE DRAMATICALLY. DO NOT DOUBT......THOSE WHO HRLP ALLAH'S DEEN ALLAH HELP THOSE.... SO GO AND LEARN .DO NOT LET SHAITAN PLAY WITH YOUR HEAD BUT REMEMBER Allah much and live simple

  6. Salaaam.

    Please just bear with me and answer my questions. JazakAllah Khair.

    "To this day I still have black magic upon me it comes and goes" - what happens when it comes?
    And Apart from "I was having trouble remembering stuff. I also became severely ill and was in hospital for sometime," and maybe clouding your job seeking ability, what are the other symptoms?

    And how did the Shaykh find out about the black magic being from your father's side? - I'm not doubting that it's from your father's side of the family.

    and believe me! if, from Allah (SWT), you're going to get a job eventually, then it's going to be a perfect one so much so that it is going to stabilize or even get rid of the whole mess! till then, it's only for the reason that Allah (SWT) wants you to get closer to Allah (SWT)

    • Salaams brother Yusuf what I meant by it comes and goes is that, me and my shaykh having been trying to get rid of this issue for many months i.e the black magic that has been done upon me. It feels as though when I pray what he has told me to pray from the quran, I feel a lot a better. But after say a month or so the same issue starts coming back again.
      It feels as though the person who is doing the sihr knows I'm getting help so they're trying to combat it by doing magic more powerful.

      When it comes I get severe headaches, dizziness, bad dream's especially snakes, anxiousness and forgetfulness.

      The Shaykh knew someone from my dad's side has done it because I gave him this called taweez I was give by dad's side of the family when I was young. I gave it to him when I was having these issues and he opened it and saw somethin written in there which didn't make sense.

      So he gave me a taweez with the names of Allah written on it as well as the names ya hayyu ya qayyum written on the tawwez to combat the damage that was being done.

      Alhamdulilah things areally looking up I've got an apprenticeship. But now need some help on what should I recite and or what things to eat to increase my brain power, as I keep on forgetting things.

      • Walaikumassalaam, again.

        All praise is due to Allah, the Lord of the Worlds.

        I think I've figured out everything that has happened and what is happening to you! And I'll explain it you after you reply to this question below, Inshallah.

        So, who gave u a taweez with the names of Allah written on it as well as the names ya hayyu ya qayyum written on the tawwez to combat the damage that was being done? The Shaykh whom you are going to???

        Peace be on you.

        "We shall certainly test you with fear and hunger, and loss of property, lives, and crops. But give good news to those who are steadfast. Those who say, when afflicted with a calamity, ‘We belong to God and to Him we shall return.’ These will be given blessings and mercy from their Lord, and it is they who are rightly guided"
        (Al-Baqarah 2:155-157)

        • Salaams again brother yes my sheikh that I go to gave me that taweez. I've opened it myself and had a look at taweez and the writing is clear and it can be understood.

  7. Salaamualaikum,

    Sorry for the late reply.

    Wearing a taweez is shirk!

    It was narrated that ‘Abd-Allaah ibn Mas’ood (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: I heard the Messenger of Allaah (blessings and peace of Allaah be upon him) say: “Ruqyah, amulets and love charms are shirk.”

    Narrated by Abu Dawood (3883) and Ibn Majaah (3530): classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood.

    The ruling on the use of amulets -- including what is mentioned in the question of wearing hazaazah -- is that the one who acquires them or wears them, if he believes that they are a cause of bringing benefits and warding off harm and that benefit and harm are in the hand of Allaah, then he has fallen into minor shirk, because he has made something that is not a means into a means.

    If he believes that it can bring benefit or cause harm in and of itself, then he has fallen into major shirk.

    Carrying amulets and charms for the purpose of protecting oneself against the evil eye and witchcraft comes under the heading of wearing amulets which is forbidden. It was narrated from ‘Uqbah ibn ‘Amir al-Juhani (may Allah be pleased with him) that some people came to the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) and he accepted the oath of allegiance from nine of them and not from one man. They said: O Messenger of Allah, you accepted the allegiance of nine and not from one. He said: “He is wearing an amulet.” So he put his hand in (his garment) and broke it, then he accepted his oath of allegiance and said: “Whoever wears an amulet has associated others with Allah (shirk).” Narrated by Ahmad (16781); classed as saheeh (authentic) by al-Albani in al-Silsilah al-Saheehah (492).

    It was narrated from Zaynab the wife of ‘Abd-Allaah ibn Mas’ood from ‘Abd-Allaah that he said:

    “I heard the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) say, ‘Spells (ruqyah), amulets and love-charms are shirk.” I said, “Why do you say this? By Allaah, my eye was weeping with a discharge and I kept going to So and so, the Jew, who did a spell for me. When he did the spell, it calmed down.” ‘Abd-Allaah said: “That was just the work of the Shaytaan who was picking it with his hand, and when (the Jew) uttered the spell, he stopped. All you needed to do was to say as the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to say: ‘Adhhib il-ba’s Rabb al-naas ishfi anta al-Shaafi laa shifaa’a illa shifaa’uka shifaa’an laa yughaadiru saqaman (Remove the harm, O Lord of mankind, and heal, You are the Healer. There is no healing but Your healing, a healing which leaves no disease behind.’”

    (Narrated by Abu Dawood, 3883; Ibn Maajah, 3530)

    This hadeeth was classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in al-Silsilat al-Saheehah, 331 and 2972.

    So to get rid of the amulet that your shaikh gave you, tear it up and burn it and repent to Allah from having worn an amulet.

    And for the explanation about what's happening to you, I'll write it in my next post.

    May peace be on you, take care.

    • Salaam brother Yusuf jazak Allah for you reply in regards to your answer. Since this last post I did get an IT apprenticeship. I thought was going well for me. It went well for the first few months then my employer terminated my contract due confidence level.

      My college was annoyed with the employer and so was I as I didn't think I had an issue with confidence.

      So I went on a customer service course and even they have stated they're is nothing wrong with me confidence wise.

      I feel like something is still wrong. Something is affecting me.

      I have had ruqyah done as well. I'm thinking of trying to do get cupping done as well.

      I lost jobs twice which I don't understand why is this happening to me.

      • The only good thing I can say is alhamdulilah my dad has calmed down he's realised his mistakes he made. He does duaa for me everyday that I do get a good job/ IT apprenticeship.

        I feel as though that's what I only want to do is an IT apprenticeship may be become a technician or and engineer in IT. I'm really pursuing this role and will not stop until I get it.

        People have told me try something else but I'm insisting that this is what I want to do and no- one is going to stop me.

        But I'm getting really annoyed as I've sent applications as far as I can go and still I either dont get a reply or get rejected.

        I'm doing duaa and tobah as much as I can after every namaaz, I've even kept nafl fast as well.

        I dont know what else I can do. I know at the end of the day Allah has already written what my destiny is. I am trying to keep as much patience as possible.

        But I'm getting really frustrated that everyone in my family is better of then me. And no I'm not jealous of them alhamdulilah Allah has blessed them, I also do pray to Allah that more blessings shower upon them.

        I feel as though something is holding me back from reaching my full potential.

  8. Assalaamalaikum. Mashallah, you replied! I thought I'd lost you. I mean I thought you'd never reply.

    Well, it's good to hear that your father has changed, Alhamdullilah. I would suggest you become an engineer in IT and we'll talk about it more, inshallah. The only solution for your Sihr and your career would be to increase your Emaan, so tell me about your Emaan. Do you do the 5 prayers consistently? Do you refrain from looking at forbidden things? Do you have a good character? Do you get angry often? Do you listen to music?

    What if you knew without any doubt that every moment you're going through is what Allah wanted? Would you llike to have that kind of knowledge? The reason I mentioned salah and character is because that's what protects your emaan, and when you protect your emaan consistently, Allah takes complete control over your life and guides you. And when Allah guides you, every step you take, every thing you do is what Allah wants!

    Do you know how destiny works, my brother? Also, you getting frustrated that everyone in my family is better of than you is we know that it is pretty normal and Mashallah you don't have any jealousness, but you should be looking at their deen such as are they able to pray their all obligatory Salah?

    I have a video for you. Please watch it.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y8kS5mSEaoU

    • Jazak Allah brother Yusuf for replying. Because I had been busy with with my previous job I wasn't able to update you until now.

      I know how destiny works and Allah has already written about me before I was even born such as how long I'm going live for etc.

      The thing is some of my family members alhamdulilah are doing better then me and they pray their salah, but others are doing better then me and dont even pray their salah. Allah knows best. I'm not even going to judge them because only Allah can judge them.

      Insha Allah I will watch the video.

      But I do feel day by day things are just the same.

      • Forgot to mention yes that I pray my namaaz on time. I do duaa after namaaz. I even try to pray nafl namaaz like tahadjud. I keep nafl fasts as well.

        I'd say I generally have a good character, i try to be friendly with people and have a joke with them. But I do have a short fuse like sometimes something small can set me off. Like once my phone wasn't working so threw it across the room and went mad. I know this is bad but I try to calm myself down by having a glass of water.

        I try to lower my gaze and refrain from looking at things what I shouldn't be looking at. Alhamdulilah I am able refrain from looking at bad things

        Fasting enable me to control my nafs as well as my anger.

        In regards to music its been hard for me to get rid off. Alhamdulilah I dont listen to as much music as I used to before, but its here and there. I'm trying to replace this with nasheeds, nazams and Quran instead.

      • Mashallah, What I meant by you understanding destiny is that how do you understand this hadith:

        Ali (RA) narrated:
        "We were with the Messenger of Allah (s.a.w) and he was scraping the ground, when he raised his head to the heavens, then said: 'There is not one of you but (his place) is known' – Waki said: 'His place has been decreed (be it) in the Fire, and (or) his place in Paradise.' They said: 'Shall we not rely upon this O Messenger of Allah?' He said: 'No. Work, for everyone is facilitated for what he was created.'”(Sahih)

        The question here is how much do you work on something until you give it up on destiny?

        Of course, there is no judging in Islam except by Allah brother. But what we're judging is good and bad deeds.

        The title of the video is misleading. The video will answer most of your questions, brother.

        You say that you get angry easily and listen to music. Well, anger tears up your emaan, brother, and what I call music is 'Audio Alcohol and it's good if you don't listen to nasheeds too. Anger and music let the shaytan take control over you and you would be committing sins, so put a complete stop on that.

        Yes, day by day things will be the same unless you increase your emaan, brother. So let's work on your emaan.

        • Sallams brother Yusuf I try to work hard as my parents have told me if you work hard in life you will always get somewhere in life.

          So no matter which job I've taken I've always worked hard, tried my best and never given up. I've literally been though blood, sweat and tears with both of my previous jobs.

          Alhamdulilah I'm trying manage my anger as well as putting a complete stop to music.

          • Walaikumassalaam.

            Yes, Mashallah, you work really really hard. brother and you will continue to do so. However, you need more guidance from Allah and that's going to come when you've learned to control your anger and stopped listening to music and by increasing your emaan.

            The way to control your anger, your desire to listen to music or controlling any desire is not simply pushing your will power. You need to increase your emaan for that. It's very simple: You increase your emaan and the emaan controls the desires! That's the beauty of Islam.

            Now, you're already praying Salah and you have a good character, so why is this happening to you? Well, the emaan wears away just like clothes wear away and just 5 prayers and a good character isn't enough, you have to be consistent and do more.

            Abdullah ibn Amr reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Faith wears out in your heart as clothes wear out, so ask Allah to renew the faith in your hearts.” Sahih (authentic) according to Al-Albani.

            Abu Huraira (may Allah be pleased with him) narrated that Allah’s Messenger (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said that Allah said: “I will declare war against him who shows hostility to a pious worshipper of mine. And the most beloved things with which My slave comes nearer to Me, is what I have enjoined upon him; and My worshipper keeps on coming close to Me through performing Nawafil (praying or doing extra deeds besides what is obligatory) till I love him, then I become his sense of hearing with which he hears, and his sense of sight with which he sees, and his hands with which he grips, and his legs with which he walks; and if he asks Me, I will give him, and if he asks My protection (refuge), I will protect him.” [Al-Bukhari].

            The solution is that you have to fix a time and watch your favorite scholar's lectures for 1 hour every day but consistently! That's going to help you increase your emaan and you'll have control over your desires easily! Just do this for 10 days and I promise you'll achieve anything you want.

            Salaamalaikum

          • Jazakallah for your reply brother Yusuf I will follow what you are saying and I will let you know how things progress on.

            Insha Allah things will get better for me.

  9. The scholar you like really really matters. If the scholar is deviated even a little bit, it won't help you. So I have a very good scholar for you. His name is Yusha Evans. Could you please begin with his videos, brother? Watch his videos for just 3 days and if you don't feel like you're on a completely different level, I'll agree with whatever you say. Deal? Pick any of Yusha Evans' video, it doesn't matter and remember every day 1 hour.

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