Love before marriage
assalamu alaykum brothers and sisters,
i have a very inportant question to ask about love before marriage. I saw the other posts but i wanted to know exact answer. Here is my problem,
i fell in love with a girl because of her personality. We started talking on messenger. She is really smart girl. She is muslim, Alhamdullilah. Our conversations over chat did not include anything sexual or so. I met her couple of times in real life. No hugging or kissing and it was in public not isolated from people. And we kept a distance. She is really supportive. I cant marry her right now. She is 16 only and i am 18. We are planning to marry her after she finishes her studies. I wanted to know if we should stop what we are doing right now or no. I really love her and dont want to lose her. I feel like i actually found the one. I am not saying these because of love but her personality and islam. Please tell me what do you think?
Jaloliddin
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Stopwhat you are doing.
Because shaytan is an open enemy and he will lure you to commit haram.Believe me , he has done this with thousands of humans before.
It is not for a guy or a girl to be together in seclusion. If you are to talk to a girl somewhere in a secluded area there is still a chance that some1 will spot you two. But online, no one knows what is happening between you two and it seems to me like one of the worst kinds of seclusion (i am not giving you a fatwa here). I would advise you to stop even unnecessary online/phone correspondance with her, let alone meeting her. Because it just goes from one thing to another. From phone calls to meetings to something else. That is why even going near Zina is prohibited. That is Allah says," Don't go near zina." He did not say here that don't do it.But don't go near it. A look with desire, a touch, a sweet word in seclusion to someone not lawful to you are all getting close to zina. Don't do it. Otherwise you will be sucked into this 'gravitational pull' of commiting zina. And if you commit it, you will put your relationship with Allah and your future (dunya and akhirah) in jeopardy. Even if you don't still you will be miserable because you will have to constantly fight this urge for years and have sabr.
On the other hand if you stop, these are the benefits:
If she is in your destiny, you guys might get married later. And then you will be happy and proud of your decision to stop things now. Your relationship will include the excitement of getting to know your spouse etc. Unlike a relationship where you already know your spouse altogether and the only thing coming in with marriage is the additional sense of responsibility.
And if she is not then also it will be good as you will stop yourself from getting too attached to the person that was not written for you. You will also not compare your future spouse to any other person of your past.
What is in your destiny is already written. Now it iss upon you if you want it with (halaal)or without(haram) the pleasure of God.No matter what means you chooose you will only get your deestiny but you will have to face the consequences of your choice. Preserve yourself for your destiny.
In the end i advise you to Fear ALLAH
In short all of this is haram and you will be accounted for unless you change
As-salaam-u-alaikum-wr-wb,
I believe you should get the Nikkah done & allow her and yourself to continue with whatever & complete the remainder rituals later.