I love him but he’s married and has low iman
Faith is like a beautiful rain that makes us clean our character
Salam alaikum,
I have been with my Pakistani boyfriend for three years during which time I wasn't Muslim. I read some Quran and became interested in Islam around 6 months ago and said my shahadah around 3 months ago. I have a few worries/problems though.
I never anticipated feeling the way I do about Islam. I'm obviously living in sin as we are not married, although we do want to marry. We live together but officially he is still married to his wife although they are separated, he doesn't want to divorce her til his daughter has married as he says it doesn't look good for her. He mentioned marrying Nikah, would we be able to do this secretly?
Also since I've started learning my Islam I've realised my partner's Imaan is very low. He doesn't do salaah, and talks about wanting to do sexual things with other couples, which I know is wrong and I don't really want to do it.
I love him very much. What would you suggest?
- amira77
3 Responses »
Leave a Response
Entries(RSS)
Dear Sister amira, As-salamu alaykum,
You are in a strange position, because you presumably looked into Islam because of your boyfriend, and now that your heart has opened to Islam, you are no longer compatible with your boyfriend.
Maybe he came into your life so that you would make this amazing journey to Islam, and now his role in your life is ended. The fact is that you have a heart that is inclined to faith, and that is seeking the pleasure of Allah. Your boyfriend, although he was born Muslim, does not. Instead he is inclined to sin and corruption. He is simply not a compatible partner for you. I realize that you have feelings for him, but his soul is diseased, and a marriage to him would be a disaster for you spiritually and emotionally.
All of the other problems are immaterial. His excuse about not divorcing until his daughter gets married is just that, an excuse.
The more important issue is that you need a partner who will help you on the path of Islam. You need someone who will worship with you, study with you, and grow with you as a Muslim. Someone who will give you encouragement and moral support when you feel weak. This man is not that person.
Because of all this, I recommend that you break off your relationship with him right away, and seek good Muslim friends who can support and guide you.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Salam
I completely agree with brother Wael. You are in a very, very bad and sinful relationship. You deserve to be with someone better. Someone who will help and support you in the path of Islam and with a little patience (sabr) and prayer, you will find that someone inshaAllah.
This man is a danger to your new found faith and to your happiness. You need to get as far away from him as you can, it's going to be hard because you love him but isn't that what Islam is all about ? : Striving in order to please Allah and surrendering to His will. And remember : the harder the trial, the bigger the reward from Allah. You shall overcome this.
God bless you.
Salaams Amira,
You must detach yourself immediately from this evil man. He only came into your life in order for you to become acquainted with Islam. That is the only good. If he can separate from his wife and child and engage in another relationship, what treatment will he give you if you were to marry him?
Forget that you love him, love yourself more and do what is good for you. Turn more to Allah and turn your back on this man. He is evil and there are many like him. The deprave suggestion he gave you should be the final straw.
Regards