Love marriage in Islam
Love in Islam
Asalam Wailekum,
my name is uzzam ahmed and im a student of O-levels. I am currently in love with a girl, and she is too. We both are prominent Muslims (ALHAMDULLILAH) and have restricted boundaries. We only keep our love till sms and call. We never think or discuss about anything un Islamic.
The matter that eats me from inside is that lately I have been reading many Islamic websites with different views on love., who say that love before marriage is haram, while d others think it is allowed if it leads to marriage with ALLAH'S blessings and parents acceptance.
I want to make this girl my wife, after we complete our studies, I have a lot of respect for her. The thing that made me discuss this matter with u was that her family is extremely religious and if I go to her family to ask for her hand, then her parents may have some second thoughts over my and her character wondering how we both came to know each other, and i know her as she is my friends cousin, i dont know what to do,
I ask Almighty ALLAH for guidance but different people wid different views on this topic confuse me.
Please please plllzz plzzzz help me, I don’t wanna lose her, help me, wat should I do, even if I have to stay away from her for 5 to 6 years, I will..but I really need a correct decision to make. Plzz reply ASAP.
Thank u.
~ uzzam
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Salamualaikum,
Brother, when you like someone, you should immediately get married. Any contact such as SMS or calls is not Islamic (with a non Mahram).
You are concerned about what her parents will think. You could probably ask your father to speak to her's or your mother to her's. This could help in a way that you wouldn't be involved.
Otherwise, even you can approach her father saying you heard his daughter was Religious... And that you were looking for a practicing Muslimah for marriage. If asked if you have seen her and why, you could mention the Hadith of Allah's Messenger Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam:
When one of you asks for woman in marriage, if he is able to look at what will induce him to marry her, he should do so. (Reported by Abu Daoud.)
Introduce yourself as a practicing Muslim (I am supposing you are, as you have mentioned), and mention that you can take good care of her.
The contact you have been keeping is wrong. And if they know about it, I believe they will withhold their daughter. I suggest you to approach them in a way that seems totally anonymous. Though I don't ask you to lie in any way.
You should do it as soon as possible. Don't wait for long. This may lead to a greater sin. You never know what the Shaitaan has planned. Always seek Allah's Refuge from the Shaitaan ar Rajeem.
In my opinion, this will work. On top of all help, the Help of Allah is. So, seek Help from Him though Salatul Istikhaarah. Insha Allah, it'll become easy for you.
But before you get married, you should avoid talking.
I ask Allah to Help you in this
Aameen
Muhammad Waseem
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
For your information, read the following Hadith also:
Al-Mughira ibn Shu'bah said, I asked for a woman in marriage and Allah's Messenger (peace be on him) asked me whether I had looked at her. When I replied that I had not, he said 'Then look at her, for it may produce love between you.' I went to her parents and informed them of the Prophet's advice. They seemed to disapprove of the idea. Their daughter heard the conversation from her room and said, 'If the Prophet (peace be on him) has told you to look at me, then look.' I looked at her, and subsequently I married her.
(Reported by Ahmad, Tirmidhi, Ibn Majah, Ibn Hibban, and Darimi.)
Muhammad Waseem
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
I don't think their parents will agree. They are only giving olevel!!! Not even alevel or uni. To me I don't think it will work like this I think he should avoide this girl till they go to uni then I think it's chance that their parents will agree or think of something!!! Maybe I am wrong it's just what imaging the scene right now.
assalamalikum-
Correspondence between the sexes is not permissible, because that provokes temptation and usually results in evil. If a man corresponds with a non-mahram woman in letters that are not seen by anyone else, that leads to many evils.
As for the love that stems from repeated looking, haraam mixing or correspondence, the one who does that is sinning to the extent that he does haraam things in his relationship and love.
Islam forbids a woman to be alone with a man who is not her mahram because of the fitnah (temptation) and bad things that result from that, such as attachment and the desire to look and touch, etc.
All of this results from the man talking to the woman in these private letters or conversations, especially if they are young and at an age when desire is strong.
Shaykh Ibn Jibreen (may Allaah preserve him) was asked: What is the ruling on correspondence between young men and young women, if this correspondence is free from immorality, love and desire?
He replied: It is not permissible for any person to correspond with a woman who is not his mahram, because of the temptation involved in that. The person may think that there is no temptation, but the shaytaan will keep trying until he tempts him through her, and tempts her through him.