Islamic marriage advice and family advice

He broke his engagement for a girl he loved, was he wrong?

My cousin broke his engagement (which was arranged) finally after 8 months because he says he couldn't bear the thought of spending his life with her since all this time he wished to marry someone else. He told her everything, then told the girl he wanted what happened and how he felt. She wanted to marry him as well but only after its agreed upon by both parents. Throughout this time of trying to convince his parents to allow him to marry the girl he wants, the original girl tried to commit suicide.

Alhamdulillah she is fine now. This presented more trouble for my cousin because now his entire family says that it is completely his fault and that she cared so much for him that she would kill herself. He's been accused of being selfish and a sinner. His family wont allow him to marry the girl he wants they say he's cursed and did so much wrong and unfairness. He's fallen into a great depression. Is he wrong?

I believe that he shouldnt have married the original girl if his heart was inclined to another because it would never be fair to her or him. She deserves to be with someone who isn't miserable with her and thinking of someone else and my cousin deserves to be with who he wants as well. This is my logic, but is it right by Islam? please help.

-Ashley


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  1. AshleyHussain, Asalaamualaykum,

    If your cousin was pressured into getting engaged with one girl while wanting another - that was the initial wrong. The best solution is for the families to allow your cousin to marry the girl he wants, while sympathizing with the ex-fiancee. Theres no point dragging this situation further through the mud and forcing your cousin to now marry someone he doesnt like.

    As for the ex-fiancee, she is clearly going through a difficult time and needs support and perhaps counselling and medical help. She attempted suicide once, but to try it again or to want to force her ex-fiance back to her just shows that she is not at all mentally stable.

    Things do not always work out the way we want. But attempted suicide and emotional blackmail are signs of and unhealthy and unstable character. The best thing the ex-fiancee can do is remain dignified, remove her self from this 'three-some' and rather look to marry someone who wants her too. She needs also to be reminded that it is not her fault that her engagement broke up. It was meant to be that way and is does not reflect her value as a person.

    SisterZ
    IslamicAnswers.com Editor

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