Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I love him so much; will Allah ever answer my prayers?

True Love

There was a guy who proposed me but I immediately rejected . he accepted it so easily and moved on.just when he stopped liking me I fell in love with him.but i heard from his sister that he will marry some girl from his own city someday i mean not from other cities.and i found out he may like some other girl.he does believe in Allah he's a good Muslim he's kind and gentle but when i rejected him i was 18 i knew nothing about marriage wasn't ready for it ...i love him and I'm praying for four years now that make a way for me to marry him or i forget him but i have dreams about him most nights then my whole day is tearful i haven't seen him for a year i feel i cant be happy with someone else i cant imagine myself with someone else.

I'm afraid to marry someone i don't even like .i don't know what to do,my mom blames me for crying for him and loving him.i wish he loved me you think there is any hope?


                                                          QUESTION 2

I thought he loved me, but I was wrong. How can I forgive myself?


Assalamo alaykom

I'm a  23 yrs old Muslim girl from a very religious family I'm proud to be a Muslim though I have sinned

It started last year when my third cousin helped me with my studies he does not believe in Islam and does not believe in hereafter. At first i tried to advise him and help him ...but i failed

He was so kind to me so i was dependable to him ...once he came back home and i told him let's meet i just wanted to talk to him but it turned to kissing ...i had many male friends in college but none of them ever dared to touch me or get emotional with me

I thought he loves me but he said I cant be with you  he said he likes me but it was a lie because 3 weeks later he went with another girl.

He then offered me a job while he was busy with his work and left his phone with his friend...that time i sent an emotional message to him and after that he started blaming me for it..that i have embarrassed him in front his friend and my family got suspicious.

He embarrassed me in front Allah ..he made me cry to death ..i have been taking pills to stop crying and occurs to me that I should curse him...but then I say he is my cousin...I'm so depressed and cant forgive my own self

i repent every day but my heart is still me with ur advice.


Tagged as: , ,

16 Responses »

  1. Recite "Hasbunallahu Wa Ni’mal Wakeel" 100 times every day after tadjuth (late night prayer) and recite this ayat as much as possible.

  2. Rosegirl: " I told him let's meet I just wanted to talk to him but it turned to kissing ...I had many male friends in college"

    You met him once and kissed him. You can't turn back the clock.
    Get some help with your depression.

  3. بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

    الحمد لله رب العالمين

    The Living is with Allah. Allah The Living The Self-Subsisting.

    None not even Lois Lane with Clark Kent (Superman) can fly over a building made from Krypton.

    The killer of the heart is the approach to sexual misconduct. No man liked a woman throwing therself at him. This calamity bespeaks tokens about your relationship with your family...the lack thereof.....more importantly the need to hold tightly to the rope extended from Allah. Allah is The Lord of the Broken-Hearted. Have hope for a better future. Ask Allah for His protection. And be grateful to Allah that He has sent you warning of impending danger from this man rejecting Islam. Steer clear. Your self-image is negatived. Self respect comes with obedience to Allah. Family relationships. You have a Mother blaming you. That blame is better for you than casting a line in turbulent water. A cousin rejecting Islam is a human devil. Do not take the evil one as your Lord.

    Admit no one into the worship of your Lord or Ye man will sit in disgrace and destitution.

    2 CONTRSTS....
    1]I love him so much; will Allah ever answer my prayers?
    2]he stopped liking me I fell in love with him....

    “Betrothal, literally, customarily and legally, is different from marriage. It is an introduction and a promise to marry. Books of language draw a difference between betrothal and marriage. Likewise, in custom there is a distinction between a fiancé and a married man. Similarly, in Islamic law (Shari`ah) there is a big difference between the two terms; so betrothal is no more than a declaration to marry a certain woman, but marriage is a complete relationship based on a sound contract and a solemn covenant that entails specific requirements, rights and consequences. The Glorious Qur’an refers to both betrothal and marriage in the course of its reference to the case of widows: “There is no sin for you in that which ye proclaim or hide in your minds concerning your troth with women. Allah knoweth that ye will remember them. But plight not your troth with women except by uttering a recognized form of words. And do not consummate the marriage until (the term) prescribed is run.” (Al-Baqarah: 235)
    Don't do like the kaffirs, who date. Do as your Lord commands you. Trust that Allah swt knows what is best for you.
    Fatawa on Phone Usage
    Question: What is the ruling concerning a young man who is not married speaking to a young lady who is also not married over the telephone?
    It is not allowed to speak with a non-related woman with any speech that stirs desires, such as in a flirtatious, coquettish or soft manner. This is not allowed whether it is over the telephone or otherwise. Allah has said,
    "Be not soft in speech, lest those in whose heart is a disease should be moved with desire" (al-Ahzab 32)

  5. As Salaamu Alaikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuhu

    Well, Sis, if you liked him, you should have let him put a ring on it.

    You have two options now. Get at him through your girl friends or cousins or whomever. and tell him you made a mistake and Allah has allowed him to be in your heart and mind. Or, let him go and don't say anything, if Allah has written you to be together, it will happen with or without your help, but you know Allah puts opportunity there, he won't "move" for us, we have to make the effort.

    I personally, would get word to him because there's nothing wrong with changing your mind about him, now is there? Don't live with regrets, Honey. Know for sure. If there is any possibility of a union or not, you will know for sure either way. Just saying what I would say to all my sisters, but Allah knows best. Ahabek fisibilillah!

    As Salaamu Alakium wa Rahmautullahi wa Barakatuhu.

  6. Assalaamualaikam

    I think part of the reason you are struggling to let go may be that you still hold an idealised version of him, rather than necessarily seeing the person he really is, flaws and all. This boy has, it seems, made it clear that he isn't interested in a romantic relationship with you, and that's ok. You deserve a husband who will love and cherish you, and with whom you can have an equal relationship - even the way you talk about this boy online implies that you don't consider yourself to be of equal importance.

    My honest advice would be to let him go, give your heart time to heal, and move on with your life. Try to recognise that you can and will be happy again, inshaAllah, and don't idealise the time you spent with this boy. That's not to say that you should just think of the bad times, but make sure that the good memories don't become rose-tinted.

    Don't curse people; there's no goodness in that, and it only prolongs your own negativity.

    I'm concerned by the mention in your post of having a lot of male friends - as brothers and sisters in Islam, we should strive to live by Islamic guidance, and we're told that we shouldn't be freely-mixing as friends. Make sure that you are observing appropriate social limits, and repent if you have transgressed any.

    Midnightmoon editor

  7. Salam sisters,
    I need some help/ light in my life, I am a young girl and was in a relationship with someone for 3 years, 3months ago we had an argument when he told me he has lost interest in me and has stopped loving me.
    I just don't understand how 3 years can mean nothing to someone, I prayed to Allah for him everyday and I can't believe he has been taken away from me.
    I feel so broken I wish everyday for this to be a nightmare I just don't get how someone could feel nothing after so much we went through

    • As-salamu alaykum sister. Your relationship with the man was invalid from an Islamic standpoint. He is not your husband and he has no obligation to you. With that said, I understand that going through a breakup is difficult. Don't worry yourself about what he feels or doesn't feel. Try to accept the fact that the relationship is over. Next time do not involve yourself in a pre-marital relationship. Try to do things the proper Islamic way.

      Wael Editor

      • I understand it was haram but what I can't understand is I prayed for him before the relationship and Allah gave him to me and now why did he take it away
        If Allah can give me him once why didn't he give us the second chance to commit to one another

        • Allah did not "give him to you."
          Allah may have put him in front of you, but you chose to proceed with the relationship.
          Your focus now should be on forgetting him and moving on with life.

          • Salaam sister precious star,
            Hope you are in the best of health in'sha'Allah. I am going through a very difficult moment in my life and just begging Allah for a miracle. Nothing makes sense to me right now.
            I decided to read up on the internet sister and on a lot of Islamic forums I seem to come across your difficult situation, the name 'precious star' always stands out to me and sis when I make dua for myself I also make dua for you, I wish there was something I could do....even if I knew of a brother of your age who was single and of good character wallahi sis I would do all I can to try and introduce him to you so that you can finally complete half your deen.
            Sis, you have been through a lot and would appreciate some advice on my situation.
            Like you ive been begging Allah more than ever before, but still I don't seem to see any light at the end of a tunnel. Its a dead end.

            Please read and respond sis:

  8. i liked a guy when was 10 and we were really good friends i had a crush on him but i never did anything about it i didn't tell my parents either because i was scared we didn't do anything that was haraam i just ignored my feelings but i want to know was it haram

    • no it isn't...cause u weren't that older to understand what was haraam and halal. And it is allowed to fall in love but the thing is without doing anything wrong.

Leave a Response