Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Love without Marriage

lonely alone depression separation divorce loss


Last year I went to Pakistan, and I met this boy. He was charming, handsome, everything a girl could wish for. One day, he found me on my social media, and we began talking, and he said he was in love with me. I fell in love with him too, and we began to date.

My parents are very religious, and one day they found me messaging him and broke my laptop. My father, who had trusted me blindly, was disappointed. He said if he caught me ever talking to any boy again, he would never speak to me again.

But, I found it very hard to let go of the boy. He promised he would wait for me and would manage to convince my parents to let me marry him. I still talk to him, but I want to do this the right way. I want for both Allah and my parents to be happy with my marriage, but because of Shaytan, its hard for me to just stop talking to him.

Every day when I talk to him, I get scared that my father will find out, or that Allah isn't pleased with my actions. But how can I let go?

How can I stop? I want him to wait for me, but I'm afraid I'll be heartbroken. He has become a part of my life.


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4 Responses »

  1. What's the benefit of your relationship with this boy? Where is it going? What future does it have? If he has the ability to marry you and support you, then let him or his family come and ask for your hand in marriage.

    But if the relationship has no future and the boy cannot marry you, then break it off.

    We all have a need for companionship. We all love to be loved. But we must approach these things in a halal way.

    Wael Editor

  2. he will not marry you coz he has no intention to marry you.

    but because of Shaytan, its hard for me to just stop talking to him* thats the funny part, the pious shaytan is stopping you to talk to him?

  3. Dear Sister

    From your story it appears that your parents are very strict over relation-ship before a marriage. Maybe they are not against your friend but surely disliking the method of communication.

    You need to carry out following steps.

    1. Build up trust with your family. You should not involve in a chat or sms with any non-mahram before marriage. Email would be enough. As sms or messenger allows instant manipulation of emotions while email will force you both to think rationally before you share.

    2. Just like Wael has suggested, you both should have concrete plans for marriage figured out as quickly as possible along with a proper strategy to convince your parents. If your friend shows laziness then warn him of consequences of delaying. There is nothing wrong with a quick engagement as they last for years if both parties are committed.

    Marriage is not just about love, it is more about commitment.

  4. theres no blessing in this relationship that is totally harm .You bring the curse and wrath of Allah when this disobedience starts to happen especially not obeying your dad!! No matter how a person looks or how much intelligence he has or wealth . This person can never succeed successfully if he doesnt have proper deen and guidance.This relationship is common thing in the world and thats why theres alit of divorce! If you want to get married be straight up with your father and tell how you feel or write a letter!

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