Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I was shy to tell my cousin that I loved him; Now I have married another man

She married him, but is interested in someone else

True love comes from Allah Alone, rest all is from Shaitaan

Assalam o alaikum!!

I am 22 years old female,  i have a cousin.. we are very good friends since 3 years, he asked me indirectly about my wish, that what i want (about marriage). but i always took that in fun. i thought that if he is really serious, then he will tell in his home, but he did not tell, coz i did not reply him seriously.
That was the big misunderstanding (that he was not confirm about my wish). then 2 years ago i got engaged (it was totally arranged engagement), but my mother told me to not to tell them about engagment. and i am very shy girl, thats why i did not tell him my wish, that i also want to marry him. and i could not tell him about engagement too. then i thought that may be it is written in my life, so i did not do anything. tried to accept that engagement.
And then now 7 months ago i had nikah (but not rukhsati). my cousin came to my nikah,  my mother told them just 3 days before nikah. he was too tensed, but he came, coz i said him to come. he did not say anything so i did not say, and i signed nikah, then in those 7 months we did not talk, but i became too much tensed, at every moment i thought that if i would tell him, then i would be happy,
I always compare my husband with my cousin, coz my cousin is my ideal. he is my that cousin in the world, infront of whom, my little things are most important.  because of tension i was not able to eat, it was too much tension (that why did not i tell him  during engagement, i thought that if i will tell, then my mother will feel bad) now before some days ago i told his (my cousin) sister that my husband (although he is a good and noble man, but not like my cousin) is not like your brother (who is my ideal).
then she said that she also wanted that you  should be my brother's wife. and now my cousin also knows my wish. and we are thinking to try to divorce and then marry, that what we will do now. so tell me please, is this right? and what should i do?
my mother likes my cousin very much too, but the problem is that , my husband's pay is triple of my cousin's pay. and i am afraid, that my parents will not agree for this.
but in my opinion why did not my mother tell them before, when i was just engaged. since 2 years this thing is always with me at every moment, that if would tell him, then the situation would not like this. then i would not bound in nikah.
~ hina ahmed

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26 Responses »

  1. As Salamu'alaikum,

    Sister, indeed, you chose this to happen to you, and I don't think you should back off. You chose to stay quiet and marry another man. Now, you can not seek divorce because you love another man. This is not allowed as it is not a valid reason for divorce. Infact, there is a Hadith:

    It is reported in the hadith of the Prophet (Blessings and peace of Allah be upon him), "If a woman asks her husband for a divorce, for no reason, then the smell of paradise is forbidden for her". (At-Tirmidhi narrated it. He said this is a hasan hadith. Sunan Al-Tirmidhi)

    Also the following Hadith:

    "marry and do not divorce for verily divorce causes the arsha (throne of Allah) to shake" is also forged and da'eef. (Al Jami As- Sagheer #2429)

    If you thought you liked your cousin, you should have told your parents about it before you got married. It's too late now.

    According to me, you should accept your husband as someone Allah Destined for you and concentrate on increasing love among yourselves. As the image above says "True Love is from Allah, rest all is from Shaitaan"

    You think you love your cousin and will stay happy with him. Are you sure? Have you seen what will happen tomorrow? Hence, stay happy and pleased for what you have got today. You may or may not live to see tomorrow. You will have to face your Lord. Will you be pleased if you do not even smell the fragrance of Paradise?

    And never say " "If" I had told my mother, I wouldn't have been in this position" This comes from the Shaitaan according to a Hadith.

    There are some more Ahadith which show how important your husband is:

    Umm Salamah (Radiyallahu Anha) reported: Messenger of Allah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) said: ”Any woman dies while her husband is pleased with her, she will enter Jannah”.(At-Tirmidhi)

    Ibn Hibbaan narrated that Abu Hurayrah said: The Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) said: “If a woman prays her five (daily prayers), fasts her month (Ramadaan), guards her chastity and obeys her husband, it will be said to her: ‘Enter Paradise from whichever of the gates of Paradise you wish.’” Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’, no. 660.

    Ibn Maajah (1853) narrated that ‘Abd-Allaah ibn Abi Awfa said: When Mu’aadh came from Syria, he prostrated to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) who said, “What is this, O Mu'aadh?” He said, I went to Syria and saw them prostrating to their archbishops and patriarchs, and I wanted to do that for you. The Messenger of Allaah said, “Do not do that. If I were to command anyone to prostrate to anyone other than Allaah, I would have commanded women to prostrate to their husbands. By the One in Whose hand is the soul of Muhammad, no woman can fulfil her duty towards Allaah until she fulfils her duty towards her husband. If he asks her (for intimacy) even if she is on her camel saddle, she should not refuse.” Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Ibn Maajah.

    Ahmad (19025) and al-Haakim narrated from al-Husayn ibn Muhsin that his paternal aunt came to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) for something and he dealt with her need, then the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Do you have a husband?” She said, “Yes.” He said: “How are you with him?” She said, “I do not neglect any of his rights except those I am unable to fulfil.” He said: “Look at how you are with him, for he is your paradise and your hell” – i.e., he is the cause of you entering Paradise if you fulfil his rights and the cause of your entering Hell if you fall short in that.

    Obeying her husband is more obligatory upon her than (taking care of) her mother, unless he gives her permission. (Sharh Muntaha al-Iraadaat, 3/47)

    As long as your husband is good with you, provides for you, takes care of you, etc; you have no right to ask for a divorce. I suggest you to look for your love in him. I know it is difficult to overcome something you regard as "true love" but as I said, Allah Knows Best what is good for you. He Has Chosen your husband for you, so, look for Allah's Bounties through him and ignore the "love" that comes from the Shaitaan.

    I hope you succeed in doing this. If you do, I can assure that Insha Allah, you'll lead a peaceful life (provided your husband does the same as you).

    I pray that Allah makes you realize the "True Love" from Himself and show you that your husband is the ideal man.
    Aameen

    Wassalamu'alaikum
    Muhammad Waseem

    • She has a reason, She LOVES another man.There is A high probability that many lives would be destroyed if she continues this relation ship.If she has another man in her heart how can she please her husband.Sister should consult a local mufti and discuss in detail. THE below condition applies in her case

      Islam does not want to impose an unbearable burden on women by forcing them to marry a man they dislike, because it wants marriages to be successful, based on compatibility between the partners; there should be common ground between them in terms of physical looks, attitudes, habits, inclinations and aspirations. If something goes wrong, and the woman feels that she cannot love her husband sincerely, and fears that she may commit the sin of disobeying and opposing this husband whom she does not love, then she may ask for a divorce. This is confirmed by the report in which the wife of Thabit ibn Qays ibn Shammas, Jamilah the sister of ‘Abdullah ibn Ubayy, came to the Prophet (SAW) and said: “O Messenger of Allah (SAW), I have nothing against Thabit ibn Qays as regards his religion or his behavior, but I hate to commit any act of kufr when I am a Muslim. The Prophet (SAW) said: “Will you give his garden back to him?” - her mahr had been a garden. She said, “Yes.” So the Messenger of Allah (SAW) sent word to him: “Take back your garden, and give her one pronouncement of divorce.”3 ----- hadeeth narrated by al-Bukhaari in his Saheeh (4867)

      • Her feeling is nothing but Shaitaan's deception. Love is not a valid reason for divorce. And marriage is not only about "the craze for love or infactuation" but a lot else. There is no assurance that the relationship with her cousin will succeed, on the other hand, this man she married is a noble one, as the sister admits.

        The following article is a good suplement to this. It is titled "The Concept of True Love in Islam"

        http://www.islamweb.net/emainpage/index.php?page=articles&id=156581

        Muhammad Waseem
        IslamicAnswers.com Editor

      • Salaams,

        I don't see anything in the post that would indicate that she was in any way forced to be with her current husband. On the contrary, she knew the man she is now claiming to love for a full year prior to the engagement. She could've spoken up about what she wanted any time during that first year or even in the two years between the engagement and the nikkah. She was the one who chose to keep silent, and now she is scrambling to undo the consequence of that choice after everything has been done.

        I don't think people who have choices all along should be allowed out of the contract of marriage to go do something they could've easily done from the beginning. If that's the case, then any time a man or woman falls in love after marriage (it doesn't matter why or how), that's saying they can just get a divorce and marry whoever they love now. It isn't supposed to work that way.

        I think the hadith you cited would apply in any circumstance where "another man" was not a factor, but clearly there is that aspect to consider in this. She DID have her chance to marry the man she loved, but she threw it away because she was too scared to speak up when she had the opportunity. No one did that to her, she did it to herself. As she said herself, she kept taking his hints of proposal as a joke, and laughed them off. If she had taken them seriously instead, she might be married to him now. She made these choices, and she has to live with the consequences. There are a lot of meritable grounds for divorce, but immaturity and frivolity are not among them.

        -Amy
        IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  2. Brother Waseem,

    I thought that in this situation anyone is allowed to seek divorce. Or is it different for sisters?. If it was a brother asking this question. Would you have advised to divorce his wife?. As he is not attracted to her and thus might commit zina?. But then is it not same for the sister. She is attracted to her cousin so she may not be able to fullfill her desire with her husband and might have fantasies about the cousin.

    Don't you think that love between a husband and wife is different between a love between blood brothers and sisters or love between mother and son, father and son etc etc. As the love between husband and wife also needs to include attraction and desire for that person as Allah has given us desire. We cannot eliminate this desire from our heart.

    I have heard of many woman being married (Arranged) who may love their husband like a brother but have no desire for them or are not attracted to them and hence they look at other men and commit zina. Then shouldn't the sister save herself from this situation and marry the man she wants?

    It is far more easier to fullfil the rights of a husband who you love and desire then someone you are not attracted to.

    I am sorry if I have said anything wrong. I thought that the laws of attraction and desire played a part in choosing a spouse too. As Allah has given as marriage to fullfill our desires in a halal way so should we not marry someone that we phisically and emotionally desire rather then someone we don't. Marriage is to protect us from zina so how can we if we do not desire that person? Doesn't desire play a part in this type of love?

    I would have advised the sister to speak to her husband and explain the situation and if he agrees to divorce then marry her cousin. But if this is against islam then I don't want to advise something sinful.

    But brother I just want to clarify something in general cause I am in a situation at the moment. If the husband is not fullfilling the wifes rights i.e providing for her or being faithful to her and is commiting sins should the wife still strive to obey him in everything as long as it is not a sin. Should she suffer in this marriage for the sake of Allah and keep praying and performing all the obligatory acts. As the hadith you quoted." If the woman does all the obligatory things and obeys her husband she will go to paradise". So is it better for her in the hereafter to suffer in the marriage in this world then divorce the husband? As this world is temporary?

    jazzak Allah

    • Sister Sumaira,

      I don't know what made you ask "is it different for sisters" 🙂

      I would have given the same advise if it was a brother asking the question. This is because divorce is not a joke. It is not to be played with. We are allowed to divorce. It does not mean that we mock relationships.

      The sister chose to marry this man, but after the Nikah, she thinks she likes her cousin. This is what I called the love from Shaitaan. Shaitaan deludes many believers saying divorce is Halaal. And thus, they do not think before they break the relationship.

      It is true, divorce is Halaal, but it is the only Halaal thing which Allah Hates. The following Hadith proves it:

      “The lawful thing which Allah hates most is divorce.” (Sahīh from Sunan at Tirmidhi)

      One should not do it, unless there is extreme requirement. And this sister has no valid reason to ask for divorce.

      We should also aim at saving relationships, wherever possible.

      Muhammad Waseem
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  3. Salam sis.
    I think that brother Muhammed is right,its not all about the attraction and desires couse as you may know attractions and desire has lead to many destructions.A real woman should be able to supress her desires and attractions for someone else as soon as she got married cose I think its all saitans wispers but if she really pays attention to her huusband and try in all ways to see the positive sides of her husband, stop compairing him to her cousin,then she will achieve happiness.

    We are not trying to be insensitve becouse she is a woman but we are trying to help her from falling into the trap of saitaan.What if she divorce her husband and could not fine happiness with her cousin ,cose in all other complains I read from this web site are men and women who got married out of love but could not fine all the happiness they expect and some even led to divoce,is she going to divorce her cousin and marry another man.

    All I have to tell the sister is, all of us have our testes from Allah and all that we can do is trying our best on the path of all and praying for his protection from the out cast saitaan.

    May Allah make our tests in such way that we can shoulder them in His marcy

    ameen

  4. Salaam sis

    My advice would be to sit down and discuss the situation with your husband. Once your husband knows then the situation it would be easier to deal with. It is better for your husband to know and he may wish to seek a wife who is attracted to him and loves him for who he is. Not to be compared to another.

    Another bit of advice is that when it comes to the matter of heart, you should not be shy. This all could have been avoided if you spoke up earlier.

    Please take into careful consideration your husbands feelings as he is innocent in all this.

  5. Asalamoalaikum Sister Hina,

    Thank you for writing to us and asking for help.

    Like Brother Waseem stated, you chose to marry your husband. Your silence was taken as a yes. From what I read, you were not pressured or coerced to marry him. Instead, you were too shy to speak to your cousin about how you felt and you did not take matters in your own hands by speaking to your parents or siblings about your feelings towards him. You have to realize that you did have the choice to choose, or to at least convey your feelings to your parents. You did not, and today you are married to a man you’re not “in love” with.

    Based on the above circumstances, I suggest that you give this marriage a try, because your reason of wanting to seek divorce is not a valid one, at this point. When I say not valid at this point, I mean that you need to give this marriage a try and you have to genuinely try to make it work. Divorce is not a small thing and should only be considered in dire situations (such as spousal abuse, neglect, etc). Your reason for divorce just because you aren’t attracted to your husband and you did not speak up soon enough, is not valid. If you were forced into this marriage then I would suggest that you should seek that option as you were treated unjustly. I want you to realize Hina that you did have some autonomy in making this decision and you should have not let your shyness get the worst of you.

    I do understand though that you still feel for your cousin and it’s going to take time for those feelings to dissipate. But I know that it’s not impossible for you to move on. You have a noble husband who I am sure is very happy to have you in his life. I am assuming that he is treating you well so try to see the good in your marriage and in your husband. Maybe with time your feelings will begin to change. I must point out however that you need to make a sincere effort. If after making an effort to make this marriage work, you are still unhappy, depressed, and stressed then we can consider other options.

    Meanwhile, try to stay away from your cousin or people in the family who are advising you to end the marriage without even making an effort to make it work. Also, start perfecting your salat and make duaa to Allah swt to put love in your heart for your husband and to bless your marriage.

    Like brother Waseem said, you never know if you seek divorce and then realize that you were better off married to your husband. The grass always seems greener on the other side. I want you to think about my last two sentences.

    -Helping Sister

  6. You should pray istiqara before you decide anything. You said your husbad was "(although he is a good and noble man)" and you already know what kind of husband he is but you dont really know what kind of husbad your cousin will make. Allah knows best.

  7. isnt there another post just posted , where this man is married for 14yrs and is fed up of this unhappy marriage.his wife apparently liked someone else but ended up marrying him. she ruined her life, her husbands life and now eveyone is advising he should seek divorce now that he has 2 kids.

    this could be hina ahmed's story 14yrs from now !

    i dont whats the right thing to do, if only we knew. but certainly sister hina you made a big joke of marriaage, divorce and also love. to me you seem to be immature rather than shy , you think you can just keep putting your feet in big responsibility like nikha but keep behaving naive .

    sorry for being harsh but what were you thinking when you were signing nikhah papers?

    i wont be surprised if you would be enjoying all the attention and presents from your husband as well.

    i think your husband deserves a wife who is totally his, loyal to him , not someone who keeps thinking of someone else. get a divorce and free him of you.

    • If the sister cannot be loyal and love her husband properly, I think this is an issue and yes, she has made a joke of marriage. I agree with what you said--I hate to see what would happen down the road if she remains married to this man and continues to look at her cousin as the grass being greener on the other side. A very difficult choice because of immaturity.

    • 14 years later and now... It has a lot of difference, friend.

      If the sister makes sure this does not happen, then this will not happen.

      In the other case, the lady probably did not intend to give up the infactuation she felt for another guy. But here, Hina has just begun her married life and she can very much control it than the other lady who perhaps was not given this warning 14 years ago.

      I still say she should not give up her marriage at any cost, otherwise she may regret.

      Muhammad Waseem
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

      • Assalam alaikum,

        I was reading this hadith:

        Another Hadith by Bukhari (= highly authentic) : “A woman came to the Prophet Mohammad seeking the dissolution of her marriage. She told the prophet that she did not have any complaints against her husband’s character or manners. Her only problem was, that she honestly did not like him to the extent of not being able to live with him any longer. The Prophet asked her: ‘Would you give him his garden (his marriage gift) back?’ She said: ‘yes’. The Prophet then instructed the man to take back his garden and accept the dissolution of the marriage.”

        I have also read a different version, but I was unable to find it, where it mentioned a woman was married, but didn't want to go to her husband because she was not attracted to him and that the Prophet pbuh dissolved their marriage. Correct me if I am wrong, please.

        I am just confused for my own knowledge regarding this idea of divorce when the woman may not want to be married to a man--it seems that attraction has to be there to safeguard both individuals down the road in the marriage.

        JazakAllah.

        • Sister Saba,

          The case in this Hadith has to do with compatibility. There is another place in which Zaid bin al Haarith Radiyallahu Anhu is mentioned in a similar case. He was married to Umm al Mu'mineen Zainab bint Jahsh Radiyallahu Anha by our Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam. But they realized that they were not compatible with each other, and asked for divorce. This is when Allah's Messenger Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam married her.

          Allah says in Surah Ahzab mentioning Zaid Radiyallahu Anhu.

          Aayah 37:

          And (remember) when you said to him (Zaid bin Harithah; the freed-slave of the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) on whom Allah has bestowed Grace (by guiding him to Islam) and you (O Muhammad Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam too) have done favour (by manumitting him) "Keep your wife to yourself, and fear Allah." But you did hide in yourself (i.e. what Allah has already made known to you that He will give her to you in marriage) that which Allah will make manifest, you did fear the people (i.e., Muhammad Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam married the divorced wife of his manumitted slave) whereas Allah had a better right that you should fear Him. So when Zaid had accomplished his desire from her (i.e. divorced her), We gave her to you in marriage, so that (in future) there may be no difficulty to the believers in respect of (the marriage of) the wives of their adopted sons when the latter have no desire to keep them (i.e. they have divorced them). And Allah's Command must be fulfilled.

          End quote...

          The reason here was incompatibility and that Allah Had Decreed that Umm al Mu'mineen Zainab bint Jahsh would be married to Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam.

          But the reason sister Hina has i that she thinks she loves someone else, which is not acceptable. It is nothing more than Shaitaan's deception, his trick to cause grief to the believers, to take them away from Allah.

          It is also to be noted that she has not even stayed with her husband as she says the Rukhsati has not happened.

          Muhammad Waseem
          IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  8. I understand that sister Hina made a mistake. But usually in our culture it is immoral for girls to approach a guy for marriage. It is the norm for the guy to officially ask the girls hand in marriage and chase her. Usually girls are taught that they should be shy in matters of marriage. I do not agree that this is the right way. But it is due to upbringing.

    I have known some of my male relatives who have had an arranged marriage in complete agreement and then two years down the line have said their not attracted to their wife and started looking at other woman and did not fullfill their rights towards their wife. The poor wife was left devastated as she was the perfect wife and did nothing wrong. My heart went out to her, she loved her husband dearly and would do anything for him and was a perfect muslimah. The parents then asked their son to divorce the wife as he is not interested in her and staying in this marriage will mean that he will fall into sin as he does not "DESIRE" his wife. Was this a good enough reason for divorce?

    On the other hand I have seen my female relatives who are suffering in an abusive marriage and thus have no love for the husband but they are told by parents/elders to keep patience and obey the husband as this life is temporary so we should not follow our desires!

    Therefore this life is a test for everyone so shouldn't men also control their desire and love their good wifes even if they are not attracted to them. I don't know if this has any basis in Islam or is it just cultural that men can divorce without a good reason but woman need to be suffering a lot to contemplate divorce/khula? Is their a hadith to confirm this. I am just thinking aloud as this is now common practice for a lot of men. Not many woman would accept polygamy these days so men tend to divorce their first wife to marry a new model.

    In Hina's case if she cannot love and desire him then she may be prone to commit sins and her husband will be devastated. Therefore isn't it better for both of them to divorce now and save the agony instead of divorcing 5 years down the line with children involved?.
    And now the husband and wife are not in love yet as they have just met so no one will be hurt. This is just my opinion.

    There is no guarantee that any marriage will work out no matter how noble or religous the person may be. People change. but its nice to be attracted to the person you marry makes the marriage a pleasurable experience!

    • Sister Sumaria,

      I understand your perceptive and I respect your views.

      However, like you stated sister Hina made a mistake following her cultural norm where mostly men have to pursue women first and only then can a woman get married. A woman who actively seeks her own spouse is frowned upon. This is exactly the problem because this is Islamically incorrect. Sister Hina should have used her Islamic right to speak to her parents (whom she should not be shy of, especially with regards to such a huge matter like marriage) about her preference and informed them how she felt. She chose to remain silent and accepted it as the decree of Allah swt to be married to the man she is to today (as mentioned by her in her own post). Now suddenly she finds out her cousin is also attracted to her so she has become bold enough, and emerged from her bubble of shyness to seek divorce?

      You see sister, if sister Hina has the strength to take such a huge step now, then she definitely had the courage to speak to her family earlier. If she chose to give her culture precedence, then obviously there will be consequences and she is faced with those today.

      I am not suggesting that she remain in a loveless marriage, but what I am protesting for is that she at least gives this marriage a genuine chance. She cannot just call quits because she isn’t attracted to her spouse especially when she had the opportunity to speak up. IF she was coerced into this marriage then I would definitely advise otherwise.

      Allah swt has given women the right to seek khula but only in situations that are valid. This situation is not because she has not made an effort to make her marriage successful. Imagine if her cousin never professed his feelings for her, ever, would she still ask for divorce? Would she eventually begin to feel for her husband (assuming that he is caring and loving towards her)? Probably.

      We need to weigh everything objectively before advising someone to seek divorce. I think a lot of the times we forget that although divorce is made halal for us, it is the most disliked halal thing that Allah swt has created for us and therefore we need to be very careful when deciding to exercise this right.

      -Helping Sister

  9. It's sad how marriage vows are no longer sacred! People need to carefully think before getting nikkahfied!

  10. dear sister, im not sure how to answer u on this, try sending ur question on to a website called islamqa, in shaa Allaah u will get an answer from a scholer. this fatwa may be good to look at http://islamqa.info/en/ref/1859/khula , do ask ur question on that site though so that u may get advice that would answer u specifcally in shaa Allaah

    increase ur love for Allaah, u will feel happiness in shaa Allaah.

    and one really important advice, telling ur husband may NOT be a good idea. plz think carefully before u say anything to ur husband. some men will get upset and may not ever trust u, yet, they will not break the marriage because of family reputation (izzat). u may regret if u tell ur husband. however, may be telling ur husband can turn out to be good. but its a 50/50 thing, if it goes wrong sis, u can be in a big mess.

  11. Assalam wa alikum sister

    I just want to say I feel really bad for you that your in this situation because mostly it is the pain in the heart that hurts the most. Sadly you are not the first I heard of that is going through this pain. I hope inshaaAllah that you will be relieved of this pain soon. My advise is to try to make your marriage work as you said yourself your husband has good traits, him being good and noble man.

    You have a lot of good memories with your cousin but not with your husband therefore spend time with your husband, maybe you may like him for being him but you must stop comparing him to your cousin because they are not the same person. What you like about your husband would be different therefore if you constantly compare him to your cousin you may miss the good things about him and it would be hard to notice them.

    I don't want to give you advise about if it right or wrong to divorce because I think it is far too early to think of divorce. I am sorry to say this but you need to seriously ask yourself if your cousin really was interested in marrying you, why didn't he express it to his parents to speak to your parents a long time ago, after all he knew you well for 3 years. this means he knew your character being shy and unable to express yourself and he would of noticed your feeling towards him as his sister could plainly see it but he chose to let you go. It is the women that is sought after meaning it is men that propose in Islam to women not the other way around, you didn't need to tell him about your feelings, if he was interested, he should have proposed to you a long time ago. If he really loved you then that is his mistake for not proposing to you.

    The financial reason about whether to divorce and marry doesn't matter, it seems which ever you chose to be with can support you. Don't ever marry anyone only on money because money never last and it is not something that is strong enough to hold a marriage.

    Hope I helped in some way, if I hurt your feelings I'm very sorry.

  12. No sis this is wrong if u loved him so u should have told to ur mom and if u were shy so it isnt that man( your husband) fault
    So see how he behaves to u if he is not happy with u than u can

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