Is loving a cousin sister prohibited in Islam?
Dear All, Assalam alaikum,
I want to know something which is very important for me. I love my cousin sister and I want to marry her.
Is loving cousin sister prohibited in Islam?
-javedmahfooz
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This is a Fiqh related issue, so consult a scholar and verify my knowledge about it:
Your cousin's sister is also your cousin, right?
By cousin, I nderstand this:
Your mom's brother's children
Your mom's sister's children
Your dad's brother's children
Your dad's sister's children.
As far as my knowledge goes, you can marry your cousin, unless your mom happens to be the foster mother of the cousin you intend to marry.
Salaams,
Although she is your cousin and you would be permitted to marry her, the fact that you describe this girl as your 'cousin sister' would indicate it not to be a good idea. Many cousins often spend time together through family gatherings whilst growing up, so you would have been like siblings. I don't think it is a healthy situation. I think feelings of love should only grow once you are actually married to someone.
If you read through other posts on this issue, there have been some good points raised against the idea of cousins marrying. This is a cultural thing mainly done by pakistanis. I'll tell you a joke;
' A pakistani man and woman were leaving the divorce court, the woman was in tears. The man said, "Don't worry, we're still related (ie. cousins)."
I think you need to take time to evaluate life properly. Learn more about the requirements of marriage. Marriage at the end of the day is a contract and you need to consider things Islamically. Of course love is also involved, but as I said above, love should come and continue to grow once you are actually married.
It is western idealogy that tells us fall in love then get married. But how has your love for your cousin sister (as you call her) come about? See how many marriages fail going only by love. Love alone cannot keep a marriage together. Even western culture now have these dating sites going by compatibility prior to matching people up.
Does your cousin even know that you feel for her in this way? Also marrying cousins can be more problematic. You may think that already being family would ensure more success. But many take family for granted and are more likely to take advantage than they would if they married outside family.
Marriage is really important and is or should ideally be for life and it needs careful consideration. Unfortunately many only learn that after marriage.
My advice to anyone wanting marriage for the right reasons, should concentrate on their deen and pray to Allah to provide them with a good companion and be patient for their appointed time.
Regards
Hopeful
Asalaamualaykum JavedMahfooz,
If you are referring to your cousin sister as the daughter or your mother's or father's sister, then she is non mahram to you like any other non mahram female.
Islam permits you to marry your cousins; so loving her is obviously also permitted. However, the same etiquettes of getting to know someone for marriage and making a marriage proposal would apply to your cousin as with any other non-mahram.
SisterZ
IslamicAnswers.com, Editor
This is such a Hot Topic on my table right now. First of all i am from Guyana (South America) and we feel that it is WRONG to marry someone of your first cousin. Second, for medical reasons you really should NOT marry someone so closely blood related to you. Third, if i have to be in a situation like this i will definetely find it hard to explain it to my kids.
So this is the situation, i am talking to a guy Pakistanie, who is currently married to his Aunt (mother sister) daughter, of course they have kids together, but he moved to the US while she is backhome. he decided that he wants to have a second wife, for a number of reasons. they wife agreed. the problem, though is that i am telling him that you have no choice, because legally you cannot divorce your cousin, no matter what, she will always be in the family.
This situation happens, especially in the islamic countries when the family think it okay. This is especially NOT okay. Even if islam says it's okay, people needs to use their rightful judgement. Islam mention that many, many years ago when the world is NOT that polulated, now it's different. May allah forgave me if i am wrong here, but Pzzz Comment....
i think i might be in love with my couin sister she is my mums brothers daughter all i want to know is that falling in love with her is that right in islam
Ali, it is allowed in Islam to marry cousins, but I do not recommend it for health reasons.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
The probability of genetic defect/illness from first cousins marrying is 4% and for non-related marriages 2% so people express the danger as DOUBLE WOOO AND SCARE EVERYONE but actually in figures its really not that much more..
Actually, the difference between 2% and 4% is huge. That's double the risk! We're talking about serious birth defects and death, not catching a cold. Furthermore, if there are successive generations of first cousin marriages the rate of defects leaps much higher. For example, British Pakistanis - who have a high rate of successive first cousin marriages - are 13 times more likely than Brits as a whole to have a child with a birth defect.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Here is an example from my own family:
Along my mother's side we carry the gene for cystic fibrosis, a fatal lung disorder. My mother carries the gene, as do I and my daughter. I have 16 maternal first cousins. 10 of us underwent testing for the gene and 6 out of the 10 were carriers. That is over 50%! Now among my first cousins and I, we have 22 children. Only my daughter has been tested thus far, and she is a carrier too. I imagine that among the other 21 children there are also carriers of the CF gene.
If my family had permitted first cousin marriages, some of the carriers may have well married other carriers and produced children with the disorder at a rate higher than in the normal population. It is also possible that we carry the gene at such a high rate because my maternal grandparents, while not cousins, both came from small villages in Ireland where cousin marriages were common for many generations.
Well ali I dont reylii thnk tht shud be a problem .. But it depends on yur age .. Hw old are u an hw old is she ??
I think it has no problem in Islam