Is loving a person a sin in Islam?
I am a 23 years old boy.
I am a true muslim and i want to live with islamic under islamic advices.
I loved a girl very much who is 3 years old then me.
I want to marry her and i loves her very much. but my family member dont agree with me.
They says that it is very big sin in islam.
But i loved her since a year.
My talking with her over phone.
I loved her since a year but i met with her only one time.
when i loved her i dont saw her.
I loved her without see each other.
But after a year we saw each other a few days ago and it is only for 3 hours. Our talking always over phone.
I will marry her inshallah it is sure.
But i want to know that is my love a sin in islamic look.
I loves her very much and she also loves me inshallah very much.
Please help me.
- Eamin Choudhury
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Eamin,
I don't think loving a person a sin in Islam, love is an emotion that for most part can't really be controlled meaning once you feel it you can't just automatically turn it off just by saying "Okay I won't love you anymore". Don't get me wrong here, loving a person may not be sin but doing things such as talking to them over the phone, seeing them alone without a wali present, chatting with them about your hopes dreams and secrets, things like that are haraam. You can not do these things before marriage, it is a no no.
I also understand that you say I will marry her inshallah it is sure. but what you actually said is that you will marry her if Allah wills and then you say you are sure, how can you be sure that Allah will allow you to marry her. What if He doesn't?
If you don't want to cause sin then the best thing to do is go to her father and ask her for her hand in marriage. Stop talking to her on the phone. Stop meeting up with her alone and wishing to get married, just take a step ahead and get it done. By doing the things you are doing now you are building up your sins, why not just repent to Allah and love her the correct way? Nobody can say your love is sin once you get married. Plus you will get rewarded for loving her when she is your wife.
If for some reason you can't marry her, it is not the end of the world. It will be better for you to repent and seek Allah's pleasure than to continue doing what you are doing now. At least it will hurt only for a bit but if you keep this relationship from going on then the pain will get worse. You want to move to the next step with as little pain as possible so just talk to your family and convince them that even though you are young you want to stay away from sin by marrying this woman that you love.
I pray the best for you and I hope Allah blesses you and all my brothers and sisters with a righteous spouse who will love them the correct way. Ameen.
-Starclusters
Well why do your family members not agree? Is it cause they think shes no good for you? Well if they valid reasons listen to what they have to say as to why, but if you really feel shes the one for you to better your deen and to make you a good person then marry her. Its not a sin to love someone but since you guys have been together for awhile I guess you kind of owe it to her ask for her hand in marriage from her family inshallah everything will be okay!:)
Assalamualaikum,
Love marriage per se is not haraam in Islam, but if by love marriage what you mean is meeting frequently, going out togther, flirting, frequent communication, etc; then in becomes Haraam. But if one likes someone and wants to get married, does not cross the shar'i limits, then it is alright in sha Allah.
One must also take care that love does not become equal to slavery. Such that one does everything for the sake of other, even though none has this right but the Rabb.
Now you know what is correct and what is not. Remain in the boundaries and do not desplease Allah, nor displease your parents, and obey them as long as they reject a girl for invalid reasons.
Abu Abdul Bari
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Brother
Love is an emotion that Allah has granted us. It is a wonderful emotion. We can have love for a parent, a child, a friend, or a wife (or husband). And most importantly, we can have love for Allah.
However, you must be careful in love. Allah has devised a way to assure this strong love does not lead us astray. His plan is for the Wali of the girl to screen candidates who are suitable husbands, and help her select a man based on more than physical attraction. Instead, to pick a man based on his deen.
You have not shown that you are on your path if you have talked with this woman without her wali present. This is haraam, and you know it. Back off.
Your family members may advise you, and give you guidance, and I would suggest that you listen to their advice. You may also want to seek the guidance of a wise Imam. However, you are within Islamic rules to approach her wali and present yourself as a possible husband.
There are some cultural differences around the world, but I think it would be best if your family could reach out to her family, instead of you going directly to her wali. If you cannot convince your family you are a good match with her, what makes you think you could convince her wali that you are a good match? It is better to have people who have more world experience to help guide both you and her.
If your family or her family are acting in a non-Islamic manner, for example, exhibiting racism, classism, or some other unacceptable reason you are not a good match, then you can always discuss this with your Imam and get his opinion.
Approach this with Allah in your heart, and in your mind, trying to follow His guidance, and He will keep you on your path, and His plan for you will make your journey here on earth a journey that glorifies Him. It may not be easy, and it may not always be what you would prefer, but it will glorify Him if you keep on your path.
AmericanMuslim
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
well hopefully inshallah everything okay now