Islamic marriage advice and family advice

How to make someone forgive me

Is there any dua to make someone forgive my sin or make him forget whatever wrong I have done with him??? Please answer as soon as possible because it is a matter of my life and death. I will not be able to live with someone's hatred whom I love the most.

It's been more than a year and I have been apologizing, but he loves me so much that he cannot forget my sin and forgive me. I am sure that Allah will forgive me, but that person will never ever forgive me. I love him so much, I obey him and adore him,  and apologize to him....but I know he will never forgive me.

- liyana


Tagged as: , , ,

8 Responses »

  1. Salaams,

    You said that he loves you so much he cannot forgive you. Sister, withholding forgiveness is directly contrary to love. Those who love another, forgive freely and easily. They don't hold grudges or hang someone's past mistakes over their head.

    Maybe this individual needs more time to forgive you on his own. Maybe he will never forgive you. In any regard, your life can still go on. Forgiveness is not a right of a sinner, nor is it an obligation upon the offended. Everyone is free to forgive or not, as they like, but usually those who do not are miserable as they carry around past hurts for too long.

    Instead of focusing on what he is not doing (forgiving you) focus on your future and what you want for your life. There is much more to existence than the one event this man is holding against you. Even if he can't let it go, you can, and you can move on. This is what you should put your energy toward.

    -Amy
    IslamicAnswers.com Editor

    • I cheated on mu girlfriend for the first time and was caugh. I have been having issues since then with her and all my efforts seems in no.positive result

  2. assalamalaikum-
    but he loves me so much that he cannot forget my sin and forgive me.
    LIKE AMY SAID A PERON WHO LOVES CANNOT BE HARMFUL BY NOT FORGIVING-
    IF HE TRULY LOVES HE WILL NOT DO THAT-
    AND FORGIVING IS THE SIGN OF A SOFT HEARTED LOVING PERSON BOTH THESE QUALITIES ARE ENGRAVED IS THE HEART OF A TRUE COMPASSIONATE PERSON-

    MAY SOMEWHERE YOU ARE ASSUMING HE LOVES YOU BUT THE REFUSAL TO FORGIVE BREAKS THAT HOPE AND ASSUMPTION AS THIS IS THE ACID TEST THAT SHOWS HIS STAND AND YOUR SENTENCE-
    answer as soon as possible because it is a matter of my life and death....THIS IS ABSURD AS THIS IS SOMEOTHING WHICH BELONGS ALLAH MEANING YOUR LIFE AND YOU ARE USING THIS SENTENCE AS IF HE IS THE OWNER OF YOUR LIFE AND HE FORGIVES YOU LIVE OR NOT
    PLEASE DONT BRING TYPE OF THINGS IN YOUR MIND AS THIS LEADS TO MANY WRONG MOVES WHICH ARE NOT ISLAMIC AND NO PERSON ON EARTH IS SO WORTH OR WORTH AT ALL TO BRING OUR LIFE AND DEATH FOR HIS SAKE OR HIS WORTH-
    HOPE YOU WILL RELAX AND SEE THAT YOU DONT FALL HEAD OVER HEALS FOR THIS ALSO NO 0NE WORTH IN THESE DAYS-JUST SEE IF HE GIVES SO MUCH PREFERENCE AS MUCH AS YOU ARE GIVING[[ROOF IS THE FORGIVENESS]OR ELASE TURN TOWARSD ALLAH SAY ASTAGHFAR BECASUE CONTACTING BEFORE MARRIAGE IS HARAM YOU ARE TRYING TO FIND SOLACE IN A WRONG UNISLAMIC MOVE [PREMARITAL CONTACTS]AND ALSO BETTING YOUR LIFE ON SUCH A DEED WHICH ALLAH IS ANGRY WITH BOTH OF YOU-
    SO [;EASE TRY TO CONVINCE ALLAH FOR THE WRONG STEP BOTH HAVE TAKEN WHICH IS THE RESULT OF THIS CONCEPT THAT WORD ADORE LOVE AND LIVING FOR HIM DYING FOR HIM IS COME IN TO EFFECT-
    YOU LIFE YOUR LIVING YOUR DYING YOU PRAYING YOUR SACRIFCE MUST BE ONLY FOR ALLAH FOR THAT PREMARITAL CONTACT IS THE OPPOSITION WHICH SATAN CREATES AND YOU HAVE BECOME THE SCAPE GOAT IN HIS MISCHIEF-
    REGARDS

  3. what dua can i make to stop loving this man, i love him alot, have never talk him face to face about it but am not sure if he loves me too, i turn out to behaving bad ways because of him example by using a fake account to chat him in order to find out if he loves me, but eventually leads to a fight, now am trying to ask for forgiveness from him and also stop loving him, pls how do i do it

    • There is no specific dua' to stop loving someone. Just make dua' to Allah to settle your heart and give you peace and contentment. Also, make an effort to remove him from your life. Delete any photos and contacts, and whenever you find yourself thinking about him change your thoughts to something else. In time you will get over him, Insha'Allah.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

      • jazakumullah kairan for the advice

      • and also what kind of dua can i make for settlement of heart you mentioned

        • Number one criteria for a dua to be accepted is sincerity usually we buy a book of dua and we have no idea what this dua's book says we just open up and flip the pages and we read dua for this dua for that we don't understand Arabic we have no clue so we just repeat like parrots thinking that Allah SWT will give us what we want the number one criteria for a dua to be accepted is sincerity and when we don't know what the dua or prayer says how can we be sincere so we have two options either we understand the Arabic phrase which is written in front of you and which is Right Way Of Making Dua in your language for what you want Allah SWT understands all languages and dua is not salaat like we must recite salaat in Arabic if we recited in other language its not Salaat but dua does not have to be in Arabic dua can be in any language and if you don't understand the Arabic phrase then make dua and pray in your language because when you make dua and pray in your language with your vocabulary you will show that sincerity that will not come otherwise whether its french Spanish Hindi Urdu English etc you raise your hand to Allah and ask him from the depth of your heart from the bottom of your soul you ask Allah because you are doing the asking not some book which you don't understand.

          Ibn Al-Qayyim said he who fulfills the following conditions should know that Allah will surely answer his dua:

          Have certainty that Allah subhanahu wa ta`ala will answer your dua The Prophet (PBUH) said, �Ask Allah with certainty that He will answer your prayers.� (Tirmidhi)

          Show submissiveness and devotion during your dua. The Prophet (PBUH) said, �Know that Allah will not accept the supplication from an absent heart.� (Tirmidhi)

          Be patient and do not hasten for an answer. The Prophet (PBUH) said: �The dua or prayer of any worshiper will continue to be responded to, as long as� he is not hasty� i.e. as long as he doesn�t lose patience.

          Continue to gain a lawful means of living. The Prophet (PBUH) narrated a story about a man asking Allah, saying �O Lord! O Lord!� but his food was unlawful, his drink was unlawful, his clothing was unlawful, and he was nourished unlawfully; so how can he be answered?!� (Muslim)
          Allah does not place a burden on us greater than we can bear. If the answer to your dua has been delayed, it�s because Allah KNOWS you can handle it. He tests those whom He loves, so keep asking and remember that Allah makes with hardship ease. And remember, as with tawakkul, we need to exert effort as well.

          Of the etiquettes we learn from the story of Adam A.S halal sustinents have affect on dua and also haram sustinents have effects on dua what happen when Adam AS ate haram immediately Allah blessing went away and he had to repent immediately the clothes Adam AS was wearing disappeared because he ate haram the rizq was haram at that time and he had to repent to gain Allah's blessing again and this shows us when we care about our sustinents and money when we care about halal rizq then our dua goes up and when we don't care from were our money comes from when we take bribes when we cheat when we steal we don't care how our money comes from it will have negative effect on our dua and fear Allah when it comes to our source of income because your source of income has s profound impact on Allah's blessing and our dua being answered the more pure your sustinents the higher chances of dua being answered

          The etiquette of dua is to beseech Allah and to cry out to him and we notice this desperation that we need Allah we need him more then we need anything else and when we see the dua of Adam

          (رَبَّنَا ظَلَمْنَا أَنفُسَنَا وَإِن لَّمْ تَغْفِرْ لَنَا وَتَرْحَمْنَا لَنَكُونَنَّ مِنَ الْخَاسِرِينَ)

          "Our Lord! We have wronged ourselves. If You forgive us not, and bestow not upon us Your mercy, we shall certainly be of the losers.�

          what it says is if you don't forgive oh Allah if you Don't have mercy we have no hope we are lost there is nothing we can do and even when Musaa A.S was lost in the valley he was running away from feron this is before he became Prophet before the wahi came down he doesn't have a single dime a single penny he doesn't have anything except the clothes he is wearing he doesn't have single meal to eat and he calls out to Allah

          Rabbi 'inni limaa 'anzalta 'ilayya min khairin-faqeer

          O my Lord! I am indeed needy of whatever good You may send to me [Surah Qassas; 28:24]

          Rab I'm faqeer i'm a beggar i have no choice i need you oh Allah please give me what i need this depressions the sign of iklas and sincerity we invoke Allah because we need Allah and we need Allah because there is no RAB besides Allah so when we call out to Allah like this he sees that iman he sees that tawakul and that is why our duas would be responded when we call out in that manner that benefits

          We learn from this incident we call out to Allah using his names and attributes, iblees when he made dua oh Allah give me life till the day of judgment but when Adam made dua he said Rabana notice the difference iblees is demanding Adam is requesting and is saying o my lord Rabana and Allah says in the quran To Allah belongs all beautiful names so make dua using those names ask by using Allah's name and attributes, you will find some of the name relevant to that dua if you want forgiveness think of Allah's name for forgiveness Ya Rehman Ya Rahim Ya Ghafoor Ya Tawab if you want something of sustenance ya Razzakh Ya Kareem Ya Manan if your want a child Ya Wahab what ever you want from Allah you will find a name of Allah that is perfect for your request so that is why we study the names of Allah so we ask Allah using his names and attributes Rabana is the most common name in dua why because you are showing Allah you are my RAB rab means lord it means master it means sustainer when u say Rabana you are saying oh Allah you will take care of me no one else so when we make dua we use all Allah's name this is etiquette's of dua.

          Of the etiquette's of dua we acknowledge our sins when we make dua we must always feel embarrassed to raise our hands to Allah why who am i to ask Allah when I'm so sinful what right do i have to expect anything from Allah think we have disobeyed Allah morning and evening and here i still raise my hands and Allah will still give me should not i be ashamed of my sins think of this because this is the sign of sincerity this is the sing of faith just like Adam A.S how did he began the dua oh Allah i have wronged my self i don't deserve asking you but i still need to because i don't have any other hope look at that attitude and that attitude is iman. look how often we have sinned and still we have that audacity to ask all we need to realize our sins impediment between us and that dua so the first thing we do oh Allah i know I'm sinful oh Allah i have sinned a lot i know oh Allah forgive me those sins and give me what i need Allah i know I'm not worthy of all this you have given me but only you can give and only you are the giver so please give me what i need this is the most important etiquette of dua that's why prophet pbuh said that the most blessed dua of repentance a man to acknowledge his sins to say oh Allah I'm your servant Allah i have committed sins against you and i know those sins please forgive me so acknowledging that you don't deserve that but u still need it this is the essence of iman and faith.

          We can conclude by mentioning that dua is the heart of worship it is the foundation it is the relationship between you and Allah that is why every single human being even the atheist makes dua once a time when the atheist gonna face death when the atheist is in difficult situation what does he says oh god save me he doesn't even believe in God but he needs to make dua to God just like iblees he refuse to obey Allah but he still make a dua to Allah. dua is the basic element of being human the Muslim directs that dua to Allah alone continuously frequently always making dua for all of the needs of day and night Aisha RA said even if your shoe lace breaks make dua to Allah to replace it because unless Allah will it to replace if not it will never be replaced you ask Allah everything because you need Allah for everything and the sign of iman is to know momin is asking and asking and he is never tired of him asking. humans more you ask the more he despises you Allah more you ask more he loves you this is the reality of our faith the more you turn to Allah swt the more you acknowledge that Allah swt is our lord Muslims realize that our honor lies in humbling ourselves before Al AZIZ the one full of honor and our strength and power comes from admitting our total helplessness and dependence upon Al Qavi Al Qadeer Ql Aziz and know the strongest way of communication between us and lord is the way of dua. Dua is the strongest weapon Allah swt says in the Quran

          When my servants ask you about me tell them I'm close to them I'm the one who responds to the dua of anyone who does the dua.

          May Allah swt make us among those who truly worship him in day and in night in perseverance and in hardship in ease and comfort.

Leave a Response