Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Making up for the missed fasts of Ramadan

Two boys hug on Eid al-Fitr

Ramadan has ended; Eid is Here


Now that Ramadan flew away (sigh! How sad as I've missed so many benefits!) :'( , I'm curious to know if there are any other compensations or any secretive ways to follow them (considering the situation in my house).

I have managed to fast only for 9 days, MashAllah (most of them makrooh though), due to exams, too much (unwanted) holidays (like Independence day) and considering I'm a girl (that monthly problem) during weekdays. I know that exams are not an excuse to not fast but I did fast on the day of exams though.

Also, my mom yelled at me for not eating properly, thinking that I didn't want to eat her food just because I wanted to reduce my weight and am sick of her food.

So coming straight to the point, how do I make up for my missed fasts?

I cannot fast for 60 days continuously, since I'm a girl. Nor do I have enough money to feed 60 people and I don't think slaves that are to be freed exist in the region I live in. What about my previous year's fasting for which I didn't fast at all nor did I make any effort to make them up?

I also didn't bother to pray last year and now I'm learning it slowly little by little (due to Arabic pronunciation and thanks to Mr. Waseem!).

Even if I had to serve 60 people, I must do so in secrecy since I'm under my parents' constant watch and they'll yell at me for giving them food and call them ungrateful wretches who expect more from us if we fed them once*.  I also don't like the idea of grabbing attention from the passers-by and their stares make me sweat and become nervous.

I did nothing in Eid. Is it bad?

*There is a story behind my parents' refusal to feed people. This is actually because of my family's (kaafir) relatives and friends who 'betrayed' my parents after they helped them with good feelings and intentions. They never bothered about us and are bent on getting richer and more successful than my family as we (both my family and its relatives) descended from a very poor and oppressed family.

Not that we expect anything from the relatives though. And whenever we are in bad times and misery, they're happy and whenever we get a good fortune, they burn with jealousy and rage and curse us behind our backs. Some of them also use force (like emotionally blackmailing us by saying, "We're poor", "We're your less fortunate relatives", "Does it hurt you to give us just one sovereign of gold?", blah blah etc.) to give expensive gifts to like gold chains, earrings, necklace, etc for someone's wedding anniversary, or some baby's head-shaving and ear piercing ritual, etc.

And another question. Suppose my family accepted Islam (which will take quite a long time), is it necessary for us to keep contact with our evil, kaafir relatives?


(Editor's Note: The following post has been previously published for the same author:

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5 Responses »

  1. Salamualaikum,

    My sister, I am glad to know you could learn prayers. Even if it is slow, it does not matter insha Allah. What is important is that you learn.

    Secondly, it is great that you could fast 9 days, even after having so many hurdles.

    Yes, exams were not an excuse. And leaving fasts purposely does invite an expiation, which is one of what you mentioned. But according to me, your case is different. You are young and have other reasons. I believe any scholar will ask you to just make up for these fasts and seek Allah's Forgiveness.

    So, seek Allah's Forgiveness for leaving fasts for exams and due to eating at home. Other than this, monthly problems girls face is an excuse that Islam gives. You are supposed to make up for the fasts you miss due to this, from days after Ramadan. You must also remember that prayers missed due to this issue need not be performed. Allah Has Excused women from it.

    The other fasts you missed were due to the problem at home. Just say O Allah Forgive me, and make up for your missed fasts.

    You can do so until the next Ramadan arrives. You have 10 months and around 20 days to make up for the 20 fasts you missed due to various reasons. 20 fasts, because I believe Delhi had 29 days in Ramadan this time, and you have already observed 9.

    Eid is a time of celebration. If possible, one should go and attend the Eid prayers. A man is highly recommended to do so, while even a woman can attend it.

    But if you have not done it, insha Allah, The Lord Will Reward you based on your Intention. You had a valid reason after all.

    If your family accepted Islam, (I pray to Allah that it happens soon) you can have good relations with your relatives, even if they are not Muslim, as long as they don't harm you and your Deen. If their evil is obvious, you need not have any contact with them. Otherwise, Islam teacher us to join and maintain ties of relations.

    If I have missed anythin or if you have any more questions, please ask. We'll be happy to answer, insha Allah.

    May Allah Bless you

    Muhammad Waseem Editor

  2. I am worse I fast 8 days other days I cook and I test cuz I have to give my son food so I thought my fast was broken. And other are same girls problem. This is very disturb too cuz m a convert. In my range 20 km maybe
    Only me practicing Islam. M about to getting far far out of Islam 🙁

    • Sister, when you are feeding your child and have to taste the food for this, there is nothing wrong, until you deliberately swallow it.

      Ibn ‘Abbaas said: There is nothing wrong with tasting what is being cooked or whatever. Narrated by al- Bukhaari in a mu’allaq report.

      Imam Ahmad said: I prefer that he should avoid tasting food, but if he does that it will not affect him and there is nothing wrong with that. Al- Mughni, 4/359.

      Shaykh al-Islam [Ibn Taymiyah] said in al-Fataawa al-Kubra (4/474): Tasting food is makrooh if there is no need to do that, but it does not break the fast.

      Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen was asked in Fataawa al-Siyaam (p. 356): Is the fast invalidated by tasting food? He replied: The fast is not invalidated
      by tasting food so long as one does
      not swallow it, but you should not do that unless there is a need for it; in that case if a little of it reaches your stomach by accident your fast is not invalidated.

      It says in Fataawa al-Lajnah al- Daa’imah (10/332): There is nothing wrong with a person tasting food during the day when fasting, when there is a need to so that, and his fast is valid if he does not deliberately swallow any of it. If the taste or smell remains, that does not affect the fast, so long as you do not deliberately swallow anything.

      Ibn Sireen said: There is nothing wrong with using a wet siwaak – i.e., when fasting. It was said: It has a flavour. He said: And water has a flavour, but you rinse your mouth with it.

      Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen said in al- Sharh al-Mumti’ (3/261): It is makrooh to taste food such as dates, bread and soup, unless there is a need to do that, in which case it is o.k.

      For this reason, your fasts are valid if you taste food, but not swallow it. You should have fasted all the fasts. What you can do now is seek Allah's Forgiveness. You were not not aware of this, so insha Allah, you won't be held accountable. And Allah Knows Best.

      You should however make up for the missed fasts before next Ramadan.

      Muhammad Waseem Editor

      • Ohh Jazakaallah for information. I don't know at all no one will tell me and so manythings I still have to learn about because I don't know... InshaAllah I will makeup my fast complete cuz everyday I have to cook as food sale outside not healthy for my child.

  3. Sister fasting is something you need to do it for Allah and yourself and if you can think like this then it's not hard to fast or even if you have missed you will get the courage and fear Allah and you will autometicly make up the fasts. 

    I am a 23yr old lady, I study, look after my family my husband and my 15mth old daughter. We live in aus and here no helping hand. I fasts 24 missed 5due to my thing. But after eid I fasts 6 shawal then make up my 5. Alhumdullilah. Sister you need to be stubborn about it then I can sure you you can do it inshallah. 

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