Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Marriage Between Christian and Muslim?

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Dear Friends , Brothers and Sisters ,
I have a question. Me and my girlfriend have been dating for years.
She is a chinese christian woman and I am an arab muslim man.
We truly love each other and respect each other's religion.
As far as I understand , our marriage will be permitted since she is a true christian.
However , my family doesn't agree because she is not an arab.
What I want to know is ... according to the Islam , does my family has right to forbid while religion allows us?
Is there any sin for me and my family if I break her heart only because she is not arab?

Please kindly answer us.
Thanks a lot .


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5 Responses »

  1. Your family, should stop being picky and listen to what the prophet said, the prophet was not picky on whom you should marry. It haram for them to be picky, but brother this is your life not your parents, follow the sunnah you will fine. Do not do anything that you end up regretting for the rest of your life. If decided to listen to your parents an marry an Arab women you will not be happy because that was not your choice, which can be hard for you to accept her.

  2. Assalaamualaikam

    The first thing to say is that boyfriend-girlfriend relationships aren't approved of in Islam - we are warned not to approach zina. If you and your girlfriend have committed any transgressions such as physical intimacy, it is important for you both to repent for this and ensure it doesn't happen again.

    Islam permits marriage between a Muslim man and a Christian woman, and Islam does not discriminate between people because of ethnicity, skin colour or social status. Prejudice because of such things has no place in Islam.

    In terms of whether your family has the right to forbid your marriage, assuming that you are old enough to legally consent to marriage, it is your choice who you marry. A woman needs the agreement of her wali (male guardian), but a man is responsible for his own decision - while your family can give advice and recommendations, it is your choice whether or not you marry someone.

    There are several issues which it would be important for you to consider when making your decision.

    If you are entering into an interfaith marriage, it will be important to establish some ground rules about what you will expect from each other (eg. allowing the other to freely express their faith, not having alcohol or pork in the house, what to do on religious festivals - for example, what would she be expecting to happen at christmas time? what will you need her to do for Ramadan?) and about how any children would be raised (it would be important for her to know in advance that you would want to raise children as Muslims).

    As the two of you are from different cultures, there will be differences in terms of lifestyle and cultural expectations of relationship responsibilities. Talk about these and consider what adaptations will need to be made, and whether any of these are in conflict with Islam - if so, it's important to talk about the problems sooner rather than later. For example, what would she expect in terms of roles and responsibilities in the household, what would she want to do if either of you had elderly relatives who might want to move in, what about pets, household decorations? The key to identifying and resolving issues is to talk about things - so make sure that you are open and honest about what can and can't be achieved.

    Before making any firm decision, pray istikhara and ask Allah for guidance - trust that He will have a plan for you that will be best for you in this life and the next.

    Midnightmoon editor

  3. My Husband is from the Middle East (Muslim) and I am from a western country (Christian). From personal experience I would strongly oppose such a marriage. Too many differences. I have found that in order to maintain peace in the relationship one person will always be unhappy if the other has their way. It's just that our upbringing is completely different and to each other it always seems as if the others' thinking is "backwards" so to speak. Both people are literally from two completely different worlds. My Husband and I are currently separated and I'm pretty sure it will end in divorce. I was actually looking for counseling on this website regarding my situation. It is not a good one. If anyone (especially a woman) would like to talk about this with me that would be great. This has been one of the hardest things I have ever gone through in my life. I was adviced not to marry him by my family and his family had their worries about him marrying me as well. We were young and in love and when everything is new in the beginning and you two haven't faced any major decision making together, it seems there won't be any issues in the beginning. Love is blind with young love. But good luck anyway, and may G-d bless and keep you both. Sorry to sound so grim. 🙁

  4. Hello Miss "L" first off all i will say you That your sounds not so grim but actually is is very honestly quotes for us

    because my father says that if our son/daughters will accept our elders life experiences then he is so they will always be happy. but if they are not to conduct their elders guide so their in after they don't keep content.
    because elders are keep intellectual part in his/her life specially parents sisters , brothers , married cousins couples etc. Loving atmosphere drive them in the depth of hell. after that they hate each other and be cry , be whip.
    interfaith marriage is not a marriage in islam it is zina only for muslim women. and very difficult for muslim male
    and for mens it depends only on some legal cases like they are living another country and there are no muslim females exist. Not for loving Like Admin sister have said that it's very difficult for men.

    2 years earlier i felt in love myself with a Beautiful Jewish women "yeliya" that time i am 25 and she was 32 years old but she was very pretty i felt that i can not be living without her you don't know i felt about love what is this? i better know about that feelings anytime my heart broke. we was keep gossip with each other she was met me in morning walk. I taught that how i will do first negotiate with her. A day of december 2011 morning during jogging I think the date was 21 or 22 i take first step that hello madam god morning she immediately call me that hello Longer i am not married don't call me madam i felt ashamed. but after in my 2nd round of park when i was sit at the bench she came near the bench and told me hi longer can i sit here? i said to her i am Rajput i will pleased then daily we was gossip during jogging. that time she was doing Masters in Sociology. and i was doing graduation in administration. this was starting then when i felt involve her seriously i can't say about that because i don't know that when this happen.

    Point is that when i said about my family and fellows and my sister because i am very closed with my sisters
    anybody was shocked about that issue my sister slapped upon my face. i was quite front of her and was very afraid then my father and mother reached at home. my sister and my cousins tell that story which they heard to me. my father said to me come in my room. i was sit front of him then he said to me that tell me what important thing in your life in 2 thinks. Love of ALLAH or Love of Sand. they did not give me abusing comments. only ask me that in 2 thinks ALLAH or Sand i give him answer baba Obviously ALLAH is Important in my life. so then they said to me that your problem is solved forget her and read namaz. i said to baba that i don't understand then my baba said to me Look when "yeliya" will die so after 6 , 7 months you will go her grave and dig her grave and search her eye , search her hands , search her smile , search her hair and search anything which you like in her. if you guaranteed go and do it which you want anybody in my house and my relatives will not obstruct in your ways.also my father said you know my son if you can turn her in Islam carry on It's better for you otherwise you need to be only Muslim wife.
    and i knew that she will not convert in Islam because she was too much believed in yahodisam but she is ready to interfaith marriage then i understood that western peoples whatever Muslim or another mostly don't follow our religions they do every thing which they want beyond the circle of their religions.
    now i feel better i forgot to "yeliya" but she don't forgot me.
    maybe when i will doing marriage probably she will also do.

    but it's very true that Love takes much pain in human's life.
    we should be-aware. we should that don't see na-mehram male/female it is not in our Muslim religion.


  5. Aoa. I am also experiencing the same situation as you guys have or are experiencing right now. I am a catholic and I have a bf to ho is a muslim ftom Pakistan. We are both working in Dubai. He proposed marriage to me and is currently talking to his family abouy it. They didnt agree with his plans because of cultural differences. There is too much tension between them right now. I was asked to go away from him . but he don't want me to because he loves me a lot. He is willing to beg for the apptoval of his parents. Even go for secret marriage which I opposed since you cannot keep it a 'secret' coz even your name will change when you marry. I accepted Islam faith three months ago but I am still in between christian and Islam teachings. The qyestion first raised to us is how will i be able to survive living with them and how will i be able to leave my old life and my family as well. I told my bf (yes i know its haram) that i could not settle down with him permanently in their country since i also need to work for my family. Family traditions, cultures and religion is what srparates us. What to do? 🙁

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