Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Marriage – destiny or in my hand?


Asslamoalaikum sir

note:-my english is weak.

I am 28 yr old and still un-married, because of that my father always scolds me, using abuse words for me and behaves badly with my mom and sister.
He says that I refused a proposal and that's why my marriage is not fixed, he tortures us mentally, doesn't give us money, food etc, he is a very bad person. We lived in my maternal grandfather's home since 23yr. The past is past but I want my future to be good.

I want to know: is marriage in my destiny or in my hand or is it already fixed. Please explain as I'm very troubled.



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4 Responses »

  1. Your English is not weak. Its very good. Don't put yourself down.

    You're 28...I was freaking out at that age as well about why I'm not getting married?..when will I have my happy ending? Am I getting too old..??
    And the answer is,..It will happen when Allah wills it inshAllah. You will get your happy ending as long as you keep Him with you and in your heart at all times. And no, you're not getting old. So many girls these days are getting married at 30-31..even later then that...So don't stress.

    As far as your dad is concerned...He is wrong in what he says. So just smile and ignore. Know that Allah loves you and he will look after you always. And when you get married you will forget about your past inshAllah.

    So ignore your dad. (some parents just don't have a clue).
    Trust in Allah. (Make him your best friend)
    Stay positive.
    Keep your Imaan strong.

    Take care

  2. Hello Sister,

    I have read your letter and simply I would say, just have faith on Allah and what i sees Inshallah very soon you will get married, only you have to take mature step toward marriage, such as don't select someone special for yourself, only select a person who comes first, money, fame, love grows as women honours her life partner, forget about past and keep on praying to Allah and ask Allah that you would not be selective for someone special but a person who would prefer more realistic, religious, respectable, fear for day of judgement, pray five times namaz, pay zakat to the needy, and see the how Allah will listen to deed.


    Praise be to Allaah......
    Allah gave the human beings a “will” that is free to make their own choices; differentiating and choosing the good or the bad. If the human beings were doomed to their destiny, “free-will” would not be given to them. 8.12.2009 17:48

    Belief in al-Qadaa’ wa’l-Qadar (Divine will and decree) is one of the pillars of faith. The Muslim’s faith is not complete unless he knows that whatever befalls him could not have missed him, and whatever misses him could not have befallen him. Everything is subject to the will and decree of Allaah, as Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

    “Verily, We have created all things with Qadar (Divine Preordainments of all things before their creation as written in the Book of Decrees Al Lawh Al Mahfooz). [al-Qamar 54:49]
    Marriage and Destiny
    Does man choose his spouse with his free will or does Allah predetermine his choice? Is the choise of spouse predestined? 10.20.2010 10:45
    Is Marriage of Destiny?
    Does man choose his spouse with his will or is it predetermined by Allah? 1.8.2011 23:39
    The Noble Qur'an - At-Tauba 9:51
    Say: "Nothing shall ever happen to us except what Allah has ordained for us. He is our Maula (Lord, Helper and Protector)." And in Allah let the believers put their trust.
    The Noble Qur'an - Al-Qamar 54:53

    Happiness Depends on Contentment with Qadar
    Hadith - al-Tirmidhi # 2151. [Classed as saheeh by al-Haakim, 1/699, and al-Dhahabi agreed with him. It was classed as hasan by al-Haafiz ibn Hajar in Fath al-Baari, 11/184]

    The happiness of the son of Adam depends on his being content with what Allah has decreed for him, and the misery of the son of Adam results from his failure to pray istikhaarah, and the misery of the son of Adam results from in his discontent with what Allah has decreed for him.
    The position of patience in relation to faith is like that of the head in relation to the body. Patience is a noble attribute with good consequences. Those who are patient will have an unlimited reward, as Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

    “Only those who are patient shall receive their reward in full, without reckoning” [al-Zumar 39:10

  4. peace be upon u brothers and sisters , i wish u r doing well , may Allah bless all of u , concern my sister's qestion about marriage i want to say that to be in 28 , it means u r still young and trust me sister marriage is destiny and fate , if Allah the almighty make u still single until now be sure that allah chose and give people his servant the best so u have to be satisfied and pray more and more and ask allah pious husband help u to do ur islamic ritual , and be ur shelter , ultimately God bless u sister and may allah guide u to the right path Ameen

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