Am I allowed to keep the jewellery which is not the part of Mehr if I get divorced?
Assalam O Alaikum,
I am a 26 years old girl married for more than 5 years now. My question is : if I get divorced by my husband, do I (according to Islamic law) have to return them all the jewellery that I received from them on my wedding? It was not a part of haq mehr but normal bari jewellery. Please let me know! thank you.
fuzion.
Leyla's Answer:
Salaam Fuzion,
I am not fully qualified to answer you on this, so first and foremost I would advise that you consult an Imam or Islamic Jurist who can give you a more final decision on the matter.
According to my knowledge, a woman has the right to keep gifts that have been given to her during marriage,and also the Mahr:
“But bestow on them (a suitable gift), the rich according to his means, and the poor according to his means, a gift of reasonable amount is a duty on the doers of good” [al-Baqarah 2:236]
On the topic of asking for the return of a gift:
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “It is not permissible for a Muslim man to give a gift and then take it back, except in the case of a gift given by a father to his son.” (Narrated by Imaam Ahmad, Abu Dawood, al-Tirmidhi, al-Nasaa’i and Ibn Maajah.
Peace,
Leyla
Editor, Islamic Answers
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Salaam Fuzion,
I am not fully qualified to answer you on this, so first and foremost I would advise that you consult an Imam or Islamic Jurist who can give you a more final decision on the matter.
According to my knowledge, a woman has the right to keep gifts that have been given to her during marriage,and also the Mahr:
“But bestow on them (a suitable gift), the rich according to his means, and the poor according to his means, a gift of reasonable amount is a duty on the doers of good” [al-Baqarah 2:236]
On the topic of asking for the return of a gift:
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “It is not permissible for a Muslim man to give a gift and then take it back, except in the case of a gift given by a father to his son.” (Narrated by Imaam Ahmad, Abu Dawood, al-Tirmidhi, al-Nasaa’i and Ibn Maajah.
Peace,
Leyla
Editor, Islamic Answers
Leila is correct in what she has said. Anything once it has been given as a "gift" is no longer yours...it belongs to the person you have gifted it to. So whether ur on good terms or not, you no longer have the right to take back a gift you have given to someone.
Hence gifts that a husband gives to his wife during or at the time of the wedding, she does not "have" to return it if they have a divorce.
With regards to the Mahr, even that you do not have to pay it back UNLESS it is a case of Khula.
"Then if you fear that they would not be able to keep the limits ordained by Allah, then there is no sin on either of them if she gives back (the Mahr or a part of it) for her Al-Khul (divorce). These are the limits ordained by Allah, so do not transgresses the limits ordained by Allah, then such are the Zalimun (wrong-doers).” (Qur’an, 2:229)
Under normal circumstances - that is when the husband gives talaaq to the wife - the wife is not required to return back the mahr. In fact, that is one of the reasons why the mahr exists, for the wife's security incase something like that does happen.
Bottom line is, unless it is a case of Khula, islamically the wife is not obliged to return anything that she has received from the husband , gift or mahr.
Culturally though, its a whole different story, lol.
Was salaam
When I got divorced (he pronounced it 3 times in front of a judge in Pakistan -it was not done the way the process is described in the Quran) my mother in law had custody of all my jewelry (both, which my parents had given me as well as what I received from his side at the time of the wedding). My in laws only returned the portion that my parents gave me and did not even talk about the gift at marriage from them - my parents and I decided to keep quiet about it, bec the damage was already done to my life/relationship - no jewelry/money etc was going to make any difference. She had kept some of my parents gifted jewelry, which the judge had to intervene and get for me, and he also advised us to let go their portion specially if they did not give it/offer to give it back he told us that they will have to answer to Allah for withholding which was rightfully mine Islamically.
So amicably take what you can get, and don't fight over wordly gifts and leave the rest to Allah. Only pick battles that are worth fighting.
Fuzion, Wa alaykum as-salam,
The scholars have said that in the case of khula' (divorce initiated by the wife), the husband may request return of the mahr in exchange for divorce. The wife is not obligated to agree, but they can negotiate a settlement that may include nothing, or a small part of the mahr, or a large part, or all of it. It also depends on what was written in the marriage contract.
However, if the wife committed no wrongdoing, and the husband initiated the divorce, then he has no right ot request return of the mahr. It belongs to the wife and is hers to keep.
As for gifts to the wife that are not a part of the mahr, and gifts given by relatives, etc, the woman should keep them. They are her property.
And Allah knows best.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
The scholars have said that in the case of khula' (divorce initiated by the wife), the husband may request return of the mahr in exchange for divorce. The wife is not obligated to agree, but they can negotiate a settlement that may include nothing, or a small part of the mahr, or a large part, or all of it.
And which scholars are they ? Post some evidence .
Then if you fear that they would not be able to keep the limits ordained by Allah, then there is no sin on either of them if she gives back (the Mahr or a part of it) for her Al-Khul (divorce). These are the limits ordained by Allah, so do not transgresses the limits ordained by Allah, then such are the Zalimun (wrong-doers).” (Qur’an, 2:229
The scholars have said that in the case of khula' (divorce initiated by the wife), the husband may request return of the mahr in exchange for divorce. The wife is not obligated to agree, but they can negotiate a settlement that may include nothing, or a small part of the mahr, or a large part, or all of it.
Your comments and the Quranic verse are contradicting .
I don't see the contradiction. The ayah says there is no harm if she gives back the mahr. It does not say she must do so, or do so in full. The point is that it is not a sin for the husband to request return of the mahr in the case of khul'ah. However, neither can he force the issue (that would be transgressing).
Mufti Muhammad ibn Adam writes:
Khul’ is an Arabic term that literally means ‘to take out’ and ‘remove’. The Arabs say: “Khala’tu al-libas” (I took off my cloths). Similarly, Allah Almighty said to Sayyiduna Musa (Peace be upon him) when he went to receive the sacred law:
“Verily I am your lord! Therefore, take off (fakhla’) your shoes.” (Surah Ta Ha, 12)
The lexical definition of Khul’ as explained by the famous Hanafi Mujtahid, Ibn Humam is as follows:
“To remove the union of marriage in exchange of a financial settlement with the words of Khul.” (Ibn Humam, Fath al-Qadir, 3/1999)
Similar to other agreements and transactions, an agreement on Khul’ will also come into effect by acceptance and offer. (al-Kasani, Bada’i al- Sana’i, 3/145 & Radd al-Muhtar, 2/606)
The couple can normally agree upon any financial arrangement they desire. However, the Fuqaha state that, if the husband was at fault and it was his wrongdoings that resulted in the failure of their marriage, then it is impermissible for him to demand a financial payment in return for a divorce. He should divorce the wife without demanding anything in return.
Allah Most High says:
“But if you decide to take one wife in place of another, even if you had given the latter a whole treasure for dower, take not the least bit of it back. Would you take it by slander and a manifest wrong? And how could you take it when you have gone into each other, and We have taken from you a solemn covenant?” (Surah al-Nisa, 20-21)
Due to the above verse of the Qur’an, the Fuqaha have declared the taking of anything in return as a major sin if the husband was at fault.
However, if the husband was not at fault, but the wife for some reason or another wishes to end the marriage, then it is permissible for the husband to demand and receive some financial payment. It would be superior for him not to take more than the actual stipulated dowry. However, it would be permissible for them to agree on any amount. (See: Bada’i al-Sana’i, 3/150 & Bahr al-Ra’iq, 4/83)
***
If you do some research you will find that this is the general opinion held by the scholars on this matter.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
I don't have problem with what Mufti Muhammad ibn Adam writes , but what you wrote in your comment was wrong .
the husband may request return of the mahr in exchange for divorce. The wife is not obligated to agree, but they can negotiate a settlement that may include nothing, or a small part of the mahr, or a large part, or all of it
Your comment contains flaws . The husband can demand , not request (there is difference ) . The wife is obligated to agree . ( not the other way round as you said ) .
Compare your comments to Mufti muhammad ibn adam
However, if the husband was not at fault, but the wife for some reason or another wishes to end the marriage, then it is permissible for the husband to demand and receive some financial payment. It would be superior for him not to take more than the actual stipulated dowry. However, it would be permissible for them to agree on any amount.
The wife is not obligated to agree to the amount that the husband demands. They can negotiate a mutually agreeable settlement. If you claim that the wife is obligated to agree to the amount that the husband demands, then bring your proof. Otherwise wallahi, you are trying to create new laws that were not given by Allah.
You were the one who first complained that my words did not agree with the ayah. Does the ayah say anything about the husband demanding, or the wife being obligated to agree?
Islam is a balanced system. One of the purposes of the mahr is to ensure that the woman has some kind of financial fallback in the event of divorce, so she is not left penniless and homeless. Muslim women often do not work jobs, they stay home and raise the children, so in the event of divorce they might not have any money saved. So the mahr is a backup.
You have often demonstrated an anti-female bias in your comments. But don't try to strip Muslim women of the rights that Allah has given them.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Shes obliged to agree to whatever demand by husband?
Where's your proof for that brother? Wael has brought his proof as per your requests.
w'salaam
A Women seeking khula at the time of the prophet (AS)
Narrated by ibn Abbas (ra) The wife of Thabit ibn Qais came to the prophet and said O Allah's Apostle i do not blame Thabit for defects in his character or his religion but i being a muslim dislike to behave in an unislamic manner(if i remain married to him) on that Allah's Apostle said to her will you give back the garden which your husband has given you(as mahr) she said yes then the prophet said O Thabit accept your garden and divorce her,. (Sahih Al Bukhari).
Can anyone tell if a female takes khula if her husband is impotent and the haq mahar is mujal (paid) would she gets it. I demanded divorce from my husband but he said i am suppossed to return him my haq mahar thats my whole wedding jewelery. But i didn agree to this and appealed khula in court. Would i now get the haq mahar???
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