Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Marriage or abortion?

Aborting a child is not only socially or morally wrong but also haram in Islam unless practised for right reasons

Is it permissible for me to marry a man that is of Muslim faith but non-practicing? I myself do not practice but fully intend to, he says he has no idea if he will practice again. I'm currently pregnant with his child. The imam said it's still permissible to marry as he is muslim but has first agree to accept the religion. I don't want to commit further sin by abortion if I can't marry this man Islamically. He is a good man and is good with my two kids from previous. It's just the religion aspect. Would it be naive of me to think I may be able to encourage him to become a better Muslim along the way as he himself has to choose that option? I'm very confused and have booked an abortion for a weeks time. He doesn't want me to have it but as the imam pointed out how will if work if he will undo anything I do islamically for the kids? He said he would support my choice to pray and be religious but won't take the kids to the mosque. That really disturbs me. I have not been a good Muslim at all but wouldn't deny my religion I will repent for my sins. When I asked him if he will repent for zina he said why?


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5 Responses »

  1. OP: Is it permissible for me to marry a man that is of Muslim faith but non-practicing?.......He said he would support my choice to pray and be religious but won't take the kids to the mosque......He is a good man and is good with my two kids from previous

    Well you are already having sex with him, why questioning his faith now. Is there any immigration issue involved?

    • If someone decides to question their errors even if it is the result of stress and bad judgement, do you really want to question them as to why? Please re-read your question...if you disagree, couldn't we just respond to every post this way?

      Some people make poor choices and they become better than the people who made fewer poor choices--what matters is what she does now.

  2. Assalamualaikum Sister

    Hope Allah swt give you, your husband and your children strength, strong emaan and taqwa.
    Please get married as soon as possible and make your relarionship Halal. Which will give peace and will increase your emaan and your husband emaan as well.

    Please do not abortion, whats the mistake of that poor baby. Sins you are doing now, you can ask Allah swt to forgive it and he will forgive you. But sin you are doing to commit will be very much high it will take away your peace for rest of your life. Please do not do it.

    If you bring this baby in world you are doing him and ur self a great favor and there is strong chances he will change for his own child. Pray 5 time a day and read Quran daily and few Hadith daily. Whn your husband see increase in your emaan and peace in ur mind he will also get encouragement to practice.

    Jazakallah Khairn

  3. I'm a little confused about how an abortion will help solve the dilemma. Your talking about sinning and now that your pregnant you have suddenly become aware of the fact that this guy isn't religious etc and are confused about marrying him. It baffles me, why did you choose to commit zina with him, and establish a haram relationship with him in the first place?! He seems to be pretty open about not practising etc. The general gist I get from your post is that your not practising currently but will one day repent and expect your children to be pious. I'm not sensing any remorse currently for your behaviour, although it's good to know that you have the right intentions for the future.

    First of all don't abort your baby, an innocent life. Abortion, with certain exceptions, is a sin in itself so don't go down this route. Repent to Allah SWT and try to become a better muslim.

    It seems a man of good faith is essential for you now, when it comes to marriage. Well then leave this guy, break off contact, he will obviously have access to his child when he/she is born but that should be it. Don't have a relationship with him, work on your own faith, encourage him to do the same. If he doesn't show any signs of repentance or acceptance of islam then inshaAllah search for a better husband.

    On the other hand, he is not stopping you from practising. He is also understanding of you trying to teach the children. If he is good in all other aspects, and you think he will be a good husband then marry him. After all he is still a Muslim. However, whether he will be a good role model - I'm not sure and whether there will be clashes later if there are differences in faith who knows.

    So in essence, don't abort, turn to Allah and seek sincere repentance and work on your own faith, pray to Allah to guide you, perform istikhara. And ultimately if you do decide to marry this man, then accept him as he is, he may never become practising, but you can make dua for him and become a positive influence - you can't accept someone else to change if your still involved in sin yourself, and who knows with a lot of patience and perseverance he may one day become a good muslim.

    May Allah swt guide you and fill your heart with the light of emaan, and may you be blessed with a husband who helps to guide you and your children towards Allah, ameen

  4. Loads of judging happening as expected. Sister in Islam repent for your sins as soon as possible and ask Allah for Guidance and Insha'Allah He will help.

    Sometimes it takes us to be far from Allah to get close to Allah. Take the advice of Scholars and Family. We all know Abortion isnt permissable in Islam. Maybe get the Imam to speak to the Baby's father or get some of your family members to speak to him ... as with all of us sometimes the kindness of others and the way we are spoken to changes our perspective on life. Being aggressive and judgemental only turns people away from Islam.

    Musa (AS) was ordered by Allah (SWT) to speak to Firoun with Kindness even though Firoun was/is the Biggest Zalam to ever walk on the earth.

    If Allah wills it, He will Guide the babies father if its good for you Insha'Allah.

    May Allah guide you to goodness Sister and May Allah Bless your Children and make them the coolness of your eyes.

    Please remember me in your Du'as.

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